Broken Song

by Erik Schubach

  I moved on to the recovery and burn wards and relaxed a little, all of my children here will live. I concentrated on that as I visited and played and then did a terrible round of singing before it was time to go collect the furballs.

  As we headed for the doors with them clipped to their leashes I said loudly, “Announce!” And the ward was filled with the super cute howling of my children and my furry babies. I giggled and that gave me a little release of the tension as we made our way back out to the car.

  Once I got home and grabbed the mail and said hi to Daisy, I sat and cried. I cried over Ted and every child I have watched wither away before my eyes and die since I started doing this. Ninety seven innocent children. I know every name, every birthday, every date of death. But I also remember every smile, every giggle, every time I could make them forget about their damned disease. Sorry for cussing, but that's how I feel. It is those good moments that I can provide that stop me from breaking, and keep me coming back so I can provide happiness to my other children. I felt so alone, even surrounded by my loving animals. I must have cried for an hour.

  I finally straightened myself up and cleaned up. There is still so much good I can do. I concentrated on that and the phone rang. Hmm... A blocked number. “Hello?”

  Chapter 12 - Mandy Fay Harris

  The voice on the other end of the line was strong and as musical as Penny's voice. It was so full of surety and purpose. “Hello, may I speak with... a Sandra Callahan please?”

  I recognized the voice and I was rewinding my mind and comparing it to every person I have ever met. I never forgot a voice, who was this? Unless it is someone I haven't met, I went through all the news articles and videos of people I have seen that I don't know. Then I said, excitement tinging my voice, “Mandy Fay Harris!”

  The line was quiet for a couple seconds then she spoke again, “...Yes I am. Very good, I thought my number was blocked.”

  I giggled. “It is, sorry, it's just that I never forget a voice, I'm kind of weird that way. Ummm... you’re Mandy Fay and I'm like, nobody. Why are you calling me?”

  She was silent a couple seconds again. Then she sounded slightly perturbed. “Please don't denigrate yourself like that. Ever.”

  I didn't know that word. I mean I've heard it before but I never thought to ask anyone. “Umm... I don't know what that means. Sorry.”

  She chuckled, it came out like musical chimes but it didn't sound like she was being mean. “Please Sandra, stop apologizing. Denigrate means to criticize unfairly. I just don't want you putting yourself down.”

  I felt stupid, good thing she couldn't see me blushing. Then she continued talking. “Well I was hoping you could help me out a little. I saw some video online of Penny Franklin singing some new songs that I have never heard before. They were so different than her Leather and Heels stuff. I did some research and found how the record label and her band-mates messed her over. It was shocking. It seems her label was controlling her like they were controlling me back in the day.”

  She pause a second. “I can tell these new songs are so full of emotion they have to be personal to her. I was immediately intrigued because I own a label, Harmony Trax, that works for the artists instead of the artists working for the label. I'm flipping the industry on it's head. I'm usually looking for up and coming unknowns but I know where Penny is coming from since I lived through it myself and would love to produce her new music for her.”

  She paused and didn't continue. So I asked, “OK, that sounds super cool and junk, but why call me?”

  She sounded thoughtful as she said, “Well it seems that Penny is unreachable and I cannot find where she is living at the moment. I called her... ex-husband... deplorable man, but nobody can locate her. But in the video at the hospital burn ward there was this ever-smiling blonde woman on a stool beside her with these dazzling silver-grey eyes that Penny couldn't seem to stop looking at as she sang. I had my lawyer, Frank Davenport, reach out to the hospital to see if they could shed some light on who that stunning blonde was in hopes she may know of Penny's whereabouts. Do you know what I found out?”

  I was almost giggling at her description of the blonde. “No what?”

  She laughed and it sounded like wind blowing through silver chimes. “You are so delightful! It was you, silly woman.”

  I blushed profusely then I said, “Frank Davenport? I met his daughter Vicky once at the Ballyhoo, she's a super nice lady!”

  I swear I could hear her grin over the phone. “Yes, she is. But anyway Sandra, I was wondering if you knew how to contact Penny. You two seemed quite smitten with each other and she sang directly to you in front of the stage at the Ballyhoo in that second video. So I figured you were my best bet.”

  My heart started aching again. “No, unfortunately she disappeared on me that day. We've been trying to find her but she is hurting and says she needs to think.”

  There was another slight pause then she said in a faraway voice, “Yes. I can understand that completely. A shame. But I know she will be back Sandra. And when she does, please have her call me.” Then she gave me her phone number.

  I didn't know what to say so I just said, “OK, ma'am.”

  She chuckled. “Please call me Mandy, ma'am makes me sound as old as I am. Did you write the number down?”

  I shrugged to myself. “I'll just sorta remember it Mandy. It is a weird thing I can do. I just remember junk about people.”

  She responded with a soft tone, “Like someone's voice.”

  I grinned. “Exactly.”

  Then her tone changed to one of curiosity. “So, when Penny was singing in the children's ward, was that a charity event, or did an organization arrange that or something? I only ask because my over enthusiastic congresswoman of a wife and I are always looking for worthy causes. It is sort of her driving force.”

  I thought that was so cool of them to help people. “No she just did it for me when I was trying to show her how much she has to give and how many people's lives she can affect for the better. I bring therapy animals to the children in the hospitals around town. I brought her to the homeless shelters I support too so she could help out my people. I... I think she saw what I was trying to show her.”

  She sounded almost thoughtful as she replied, “You sound like my Bella. So what organization do you work with?”

  I got really embarrassed to tell her. “It is just me. I'm not official-y or anything. I just want to help out the people and children who go unnoticed. Everyone deserves love and respect and not to be forgotten. I'm trying to create a foundation so that I can expand with more people and therapy animals and help more people, maybe even in more cities and across the country. I filled out all the confusing paperwork and junk and am just waiting to hear back. If they sanction my foundation, Crystal is setting up a fundraiser benefit for it since daddy won't let me use the money in my trust. Kimi and Skylar Roth said they'd sing and donate, so did Amber LaLanie, she's really fun! Missy said Mia Jacobs says she'll donate art to the fundraiser.”

  I got quiet. “I'm sorry Mandy, I'm babbling. I do that.”

  There was that odd silence again. She seems to always think before she speaks, I should learn to do that. “You've managed all of that on your own?”

  It wasn't a lot was it? “Yes. I'm not too smart so it is the best I can do.”

  She tsk-tsked at me. “What did I tell you about self deprecating remarks hon? I'm just amazed. You remind me more and more of my Bella every minute. You should be proud. Now... tell me about the people you help. Take your time, I'm not going anywhere.”

  And I told her of all the wondrous homeless people I call my friends and family. How I try to find jobs and homes for them all and how bad I feel when I can't. I told her of my children and how I love them so much, of the pain of watching them suffer or worse and of the joy of bringing smiles to their faces.

  How if I get my foundation I want to create job training programs, home assistance programs. How I want to renovate the shel
ters so they can handle more cots and how I want to staff them and get better food than castoffs for the soup kitchens. I spoke of my dreams of creating a nationwide network of therapy animals for the children who are scared and suffering in hospitals across the country.

  She kept encouraging me to tell her more, and she gave ideas of her own that would help out or expand the help that can be offered. She was super smart, fun and easy to talk to, and had this way of guiding the conversation without even trying. We talked for a couple hours.

  Then she started winding things down. “Sandra, you have been a true delight and I only wish there were more people in this world with a heart as big as yours. I'm so glad I stumbled upon you in my search for Penny. I promise you this. If your foundation comes to fruition, my wife and I would be truly honored to use some of our discretionary fund we set aside for charities to help kick-start things for you, say a couple million? I'll also speak with some of the artists from Harmony Trax to see if they'd be interested in performing on a compilation album who's proceeds go to your foundation. Amber LaLanie happens to be one of our artists and I'm sure she'd be delighted. Your friends from Satin Thunder used to be with my label too, maybe they'd be interested.”

  I was blushing so hard I wanted to hide in a closet but I was almost bouncing with energy. “OMG. You are such a super nice lady! I'm so happy you called.”

  She chuckled musically again. “I am too. Now before I go, what is my phone number again San?”

  I rattled it off, and she had an appreciative tone in her voice, “Amazing... You have my number, don't be afraid to use it, even if you just want to talk. I find you fascinating and could talk with you for hours. Goodbye Sandra.”

  I waved to the air like an idiot. “Goodbye Mandy.”

  I hung up then started hyperventilating a little. That was Mandy Fay Harris! And she wants to help me! Then my excitement died when I realized all I wanted to do in that moment was to tell Penny. My heart sank and the pain of her absence returned like a specter hanging over me.

  I started cleaning up my apartment. I'm still amazed at how awesome it is. All of the renovation was done by my homeless friends using their various life skills. They created such beauty from this rundown apartment building I own. Buying it was smarter than leasing Bobbie told me. One day I may renovate the entire building so I'd have three additional apartments I could offer to my people who are trying to re-enter society... kind of like a halfway house. But that would use funds from my monthly stipend that can help the shelters.

  I looked through my mail and froze. There was an envelope from the IRS. Was this it? Was this the response to my non-profit application? What if it was a rejection letter? I sat down at the counter and put it in front of me. My heart was beating a trillion beats a second. I just stared at it. I was too scared to open it so I got up and walked it over to the refrigerator and clipped it to the magnetic clip on the door. I'll have Jane open it for me at the party tomorrow. I'm such a coward.

  Then I sat down and watched the news. It was so quiet with my puppies piled on my lap. Again I was struck as to how alone I felt. I never used to feel this alone before I met Penny. Is there something wrong with me now?

  The phone startled me. I looked down and the smile bloomed on my face. The twins on their daily call. I answered as happiness flooded back into my heart. “Hello?”

  Chapter 13 – Daddy?

  The next day was hectic, preparing for the guests of honor at the party tonight. Well Crystal was there. I have never actually got to see her do “her thing” before and holy crap was she amazing! She usually plans dream parties for Seattle's high society elites. She is so good at what she does that she is rated as the number one party planner in the northwest. And here she is, planning a silly welcoming party for me.

  She pulled in a few of her ever-present markers and had Alessandro from the number one Italian restaurant in town, Alessandro's, cater. The decorations had a music theme and she even had a string quartet for live background ambiance. The place looked amazing, it was like a reception for a princess or something regal like that. All of my furniture was moved out and stored in the garage so there was more room, and beautiful small tables and chairs were placed around the edges of the open multipurpose space that was my living room/dining room/kitchen area.

  I felt like I was living a dream as my friends started showing up early to see if there was anything they could do to help. Roberta and Blake Valentine were first. Gawd they were such a cute couple. Everyone calls Bobbie, Silent Bob. She came in with the braces on her legs clickity clacking and had a huge smile for me as she leaned on her cuff crutch. I squealed when she came in. She held an arm out for me and I hugged her and kissed her cheek. “Hi San. The place looks amazing!” she said in her thick Australian accent as the coat lady took her coat and scarf.

  I giggled. “Thanks Bobbie!”

  Blake came through a second later. Blake was tall, but not as tall as Kim. She wasn't wearing her leg brace today, I noticed, as she gave me a cute lopsided grin and hugged me and kissed my cheek as she looked around. “Wow Sandra! This place looks awesome.” I just giggled and blushed. Crystal put them to work folding linen napkins.

  They both looked spectacular in dresses. It was a rare treat indeed for either of them to do that. Before I had time to drool too much, Jane showed up. She gave hugs and kisses all around and Crystal put her to work helping the caterer set up. She was super organized.

  We had just rolled out a huge circular rug in the center of the room when a sweet little voice said, “Knock knock.” I looked over at the open door and little Samantha was there with her single pink curl dangling in her golden locks. Kimi and Skylar were standing behind her! Well not so little anymore as Sammi is almost as tall as me now. I still can't believe, eleven years old now!

  Sammi and I squealed and jumped into a spinning hug. Gawd I loved this girl like she was my own! She grinned at me. “Hi Aunty Sandra! Wow the place looks wonderful!”

  I gave her a kiss on the cheek and held her at arms length and looked at the pretty white dress she was in. “You look awesome Sam.” She grinned as Crystal stole her from me into a hug.

  I looked at Skylar. I simply loved her scars. I know that is a weird thing to say. But she is a favorite in the burn wards when I can get her to come sing. She has brilliant, colorful tattoos all down the length of the right side over her burn scars, all the way down to the prosthetic foot, and they were gorgeous like her. Her smile was dazzling as she snagged my arm and pulled me into a warm hug. The low tones of her musical voice giving me goosebumps like normal as she said in that sultry English accent, “San. It's bloody fine to see you, Sammie has missed her partner in crime. Wow, the place looks brill!” She kissed my cheek then squeaked as Jane snagged her arm and was pulling her into a giggling hug.

  Then I looked at Kimi. I always say that I see Jane as my big sister, but Kimi has actually been a big sister to me. Ever since Jane introduced me to Bobbi, Kimi Solomon sort adopted me as a surrogate sister. I'm so amazed with her and what she has accomplished in life. She looked at me with that emotionless mask on her face that most would find disconcerting. I... loved it. It was uniquely Kim, because I knew what was about to follow and I cherished it like a rare gem.

  Her face suddenly broke into a beaming smile that sparkled in her eyes down to her soul. She picked me up off the ground in a crushing hug and swung me from side to side. She kissed my cheek as she set me back down. “Hiya, San. Missed you tiny sis. We really need to spend more than a few months a year back in the states.”

  My happiness level was like at an eleven out of ten. “I missed you too Kim.” Then I counted down as she grinned at me. Three, two, one... and her emotionless mask snapped back up. OMG I love her! I giggled.

  There was some banging on the stairwell and I smiled. I knew who that was. A moment later Reese wheeled into the room in her wheelchair with Sarah walking beside her with her hand on her shoulder. I grinned and rushed over and hugged Reese. “I'm s
o happy you came!”

  She was all smiles. “The old ball and chain wouldn't ever let me miss a party with you.”

  Sarah snorted with a comical look on her expressive face as she slapped Reese's shoulder playfully. I looked at her. I simply love how she dyes her hair that bright red. She pulled me into a silly side to side hug. “Hi San, you should call more often.” I nodded with a grin and they went around the room greeting everyone.

  Then Alessandro said loudly in his heavy Italian accent to the only other man in the room, one of his workers at the food station, “We seem to be outnumbered by women.” This got a chuckle throughout the room.

  Crystal choreographed everything and we finished preparations in no time. My puppies were in heaven from all the attention they were getting especially from Sammi. There was still an hour before the guests of honor arrived. This was like a dream. I was knocked out of my bliss by an accusatory tone in Jane's voice as she called out, “San! What is this?!”

  Everyone's eyes turned to her as she stood by my fridge pointing at the IRS letter. My heart started beating faster. I think I was about to have a panic attack as I said, “I don't know. I'm too afraid to open it. What if... what if it is a rejection of the application?”

  Bobbie reached out a hand and grabbed my elbow gently to steady me. “Go on sweetie. Open it.”

  Jane walked it over to me and everyone was gathered around as she tried to hand it to me. I held up my hands, “No Jane. You open it please.”

  She shook her head. “No San. You open it. We're all here for you no matter what it says.” There was mumbled agreement around.

  I carefully tore open the envelope. There was no letter, but what I saw... everything went black.

  I opened my eyes and everyone was standing over me looking down with concern. Jane was kneeling beside me hugging me to her. “You OK San? You passed out!”