Holding Her in Madness

by Kimber S. Dawn

  I sigh, running my hands through my damp hair and tucking it behind my ears. “Fuck it.”

  I gotta go find Josh’s punk ass and make him get drunk with me. I step outside and light up my first cigarette of the day only to throw it out and immediately carry my ass back inside as soon as I see Lil out front playing with Jules.

  The fucking sun hit her from behind and shone through her hair, making her look like a goddamn angel, her fucking smile hitting me like a sucker-punch to the gut.

  I hate to admit this shit. I fucking swear to God I do… I stay inside watching through the blinds until she leaves that night. And I do this every damn night until Thursday, when I look outside and see her sweet ass up in the air, leaning her head into the back of my aunt’s car.

  “Fuck this acting-like-a-pussy shit.”

  I storm outside, watching her while I light up my cigarette, and once I feel the nicotine thrumming through my veins and my nerves settle, I whistle to get her attention.

  Her head flies up and she’s squinting trying to see me in the dark. She starts walking towards me, and that alone makes me feel fucking high.

  Goddamn, Lil is the perfect drug. My drug. And I’m already an addict.

  Euphoria is coursing through me, and it gains momentum and potency the closer she gets to me. Fuck… I’m gonna to lose my damn shit right here.

  She’s almost to me when she nervously slaps a ponytail in her hair.

  Oh hell no, baby.

  As soon as she’s within reaching distance, I grab the ponytail and yank it out of her hair, watching it fall around her face and shoulder in waves.

  “I like it down.”

  I run my fingers through strands that feel like silk, sliding them from her scalp to the ends, all the while fighting the urge to grab a fistful and crush my mouth to hers. My body wants to fucking pin her to a surface and my will to hold back is running out fast.

  “You coming with me tomorrow night, Lil?” Answer the fucking question this time.

  “Mm hmm.”

  Nope… That’s not an answer, firecracker.

  However, she starts pushing her tits against the front of my chest, and it almost makes me lose my train of thought—almost.

  I run my hands up her body and grab my fists full of hair, yanking her head back, forcing her eyes to mine. “Mm hmm?” I sound pissed because I am. “Nuh uh, Lil. I asked you a question. You comin’ with me tomorrow night?”

  “Yes, Leo, I’m coming with you tomorrow night.” She doesn’t even blink, and fuck me if I’m not hard as fuck and feeling pride swell in my chest. “Now are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

  “Don’t give away surprises, Lil. You’ll find out tomorrow.” I lean into her and get rid of her cigarette, keeping one hand in her silky hair. My other hand grabs a handful of the most delicious ass I’ve ever had my hands on. I yank her up and rub the evidence of how fucking much I want her little ass against her belly. I keep my eyes on hers, waiting for her to run away screaming for help or shy away back into that head of hers like she did Tuesday night.

  She does neither. This fucking gorgeous angel runs her goddamn hands up my chest, grabbing her own tiny fistfuls of my hair to pull my face down to hers. I don’t know how, but I barely keep hold of my reins.

  However, when she crushes her mouth to mine, I lose my motherfucking shit right there.

  My patience and manners have worn thin and snapped to fuck. The next thing I know, I’ve scooped her ass up and have her pinned up against the damn house. Her legs wrap around my waist and I can’t stop my hips from thrusting my dick, rubbing it against her.

  Lost in a foggy lust unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, I allow myself to fuck the shit out of her mouth with mine.

  Jesus fucking Christ, this woman, girl, whatever… She tastes more fucking incredible than anything I’ve ever tasted on my tongue.

  She keeps grinding harder and harder against me, trying to take control over the kiss. Fuck that shit. Before I know what I’m doing, I have my hand around her throat in an effort to regain control.

  But when I hear her fucking moaning, I’m ready hand the control over to her. Fucking take it… I don’t give a fuck.

  I yank her wife beater and bra down with one hand. The very next second, my hand is full of the softest fucking breast I’ve ever held. The only thing I can think right now is, How in the fuck am I gonna get my dick between her perfect goddamn tits the quickest, and how I can do it without her stopping at me?

  Instead, only to keep her from running the fuck away, I squeeze her breast until it’s almost completely out of her bra and I shamelessly thank God it was always tit and never padding right before I start licking and biting the top of my new favorite place.

  My dick goes out of control, thrusting on its own accord, especially when I feel her hot pussy through her shorts, seeping wet against me. Pre-cum starts leaking from the head of my cock and I don’t give a fuck that I’m about to blow my goddamn load from dry humping this beautiful, wild firecracker.

  My beautiful, wild firecracker.

  I’m right on the motherfucking brink when I hear the front door open and feet step out onto the porch.

  I snatch Lil’s shirt up and pry myself away from her, sealing my damn fate for the worst case of blue balls a guy could ever subject himself to. My dick is screaming fucking pissed at me, begging to continue, but somehow I gain a grasp on the last thread of sanity I didn’t know I had left and move my body behind hers, wrapping my arm around and clamping my hand down on her mouth to shut any of her fucking protests up.

  The entire time, my hips involuntarily thrust against her ass, seeking the release my dick desperately needs.

  “I’m sorry, baby. FUCK, I’m so sorry. I didn’t...” The fucking brick lodged in my throat stops me for a second until I cough to clear it away. “I didn’t mean to get carried away. I swear to God I didn’t. It’s just...”

  “Lil? Lil? Where’d you run off to, girl?” my aunt Vikki calls from the porch. When I hear the front door close, I yank Lil around. A fucking smile is splitting my face in two, but I could not give a flying fuck.

  Apparently my little firecracker finds this funny. “Mm hmm, it’s just what, Mr.-I-Asked-You-A-Question?” Her grin does absolutely nothing to calm my raging hard-on.

  “You ain’t no fucking child, are ya, my little firecracker? Shit! You’re like nothing I’ve ever seen before, Lil. Fucking sexy as hell, sassy as shit, lookin’ so goddamn innocent. I’ve been running from you for a month. Then I get one taste, one fuckin’ taste of you, and you come alive in my arms like I’m balls deep inside you.”

  I watch as confusion flashes across her face.

  I realize we’re out of time. I need to think quick, get Lil’s ass into the house, and sell Aunt Vikki our cover story.

  I don’t know what the hell falls out of my mouth until we’re standing in front of my uncle’s disapproving glare. “Guess what I found in the backyard running around, trying to catch lightning bugs when I stepped outside for a smoke?”

  After my aunt and uncle seem to accept the lies spewing from my mouth, they walk out of the kitchen. I, however, keep my arm locked around Lil’s waist until they are out of sight and hearing range before I kiss her freckled shoulder and whisper with my lips still against it, “Tomorrow night, firecracker, tomorrow night...and make sure you have a friend and a lie lined up, ‘cause you aren’t goin’ home at bedtime, baby.”

  Okay, so… Keep in mind, I’m only saying this because when I decided to tell my story, I swore I would do my fucking BEST not to leave anything out, and I also swore that I wouldn’t hold back, nor would I lie.

  After Lil left with my aunt, I’m exactly where you know I am—at home in bed, jerking off like a fucking preteen, trying in vain to make my wood go away.

  Fuck! No Dice!

  Lil may not know it yet, but she’s fuckin’ mine. Don’t know when it happened or how it happened. But that girl is mine... All of her, come tomorrow
night.

  What the fuck was I thinking?

  What in the mother FUCK was I thinking?

  I’ll tell you what—nothing! Not a damn thing other than the fact that I got her ass drunk as hell on accident, freaked the fuck out, then…somehow found the nearest piece-of-shit motel on the damn planet. Checked us in just to get her warm—ANOTHER horrendous fail on my part.

  But who drinks less than a six-pack and it has them going from a beaming, flirty bombshell, a fuckin’ mythical goddess, to a retching Lil, hanging her head out the window, blowin’ chunks. IN THREE minutes flat?

  I knew the second I crossed that state line what I was doing. I was fucking running. I didn’t want to lose her. Just the thought makes my fuckin’ chest crack in two and my blood whoosh past my eardrums.

  I thought if I kept handing her beer after beer she wouldn’t notice.

  Honest to God, I was bankin’ on her ass passing the fuck out. And when we were halfway across the country and she woke up in the morning, there wouldn’t be a fucking thing she could do but stay with me.

  What the fuck was I thinking, goddammit? After I… Shit! I can’t even think about it without getting nauseated.

  I flipped my shit. I lost my damn mind.

  Before I even knew what the hell I was doing, I had already sprayed her with the damn hard rinse sprayer at the fuckin’ car wash. I couldn’t even see straight I was so livid. I just wanted to get her clean. Clean my fucking fuck-up off of her. She’s too damn pure, too perfect. Especially for my piece-of-shit ass.

  I had her, what? Less than five hours and already I’ve fucked up too many times to count.

  I feel the stark contrast of the cold, smooth tile and harsh grout as my back slides down it and my ass hits the floor of this—yet another brilliant fuck-up—stupid-ass, shitty motel shower stall. I let my face fall into my hands, grab two fistfuls of hair, and yank.

  When it doesn’t satisfy the pain I am seeking to stifle the repulsion I feel saturating my insides over my actions, I slam my head back... Once, twice… On the third slam, my vision tunnels and I see stars.

  As the scalding-hot water trickles, running down my hair and my face, I slam that motherfucker back even harder a fourth time. I want to crack my fucking head open. I’m on the brink of attempting just that when I realize I can’t.

  I can’t smash my skull against the shower stall until I fade into oblivion. I can’t because then Lil will be stuck in this godforsaken hellhole all by herself.

  FUCK!

  What the fucking hell was I thinking? I should have just taken her home is what I should have done, but that thought alone has my sinister laughter bouncing off the four-by-four bathroom walls. There was no way in hell I was going to take her little ass home. Not tonight. And probably not in the morning either.

  I can only dry so much of myself off with this half a fucking towel that prick in the motel office gave me. After I’m somewhat dried off, I toss my t-shirt and boxer briefs back on and leave the tiny bathroom to go check on my firecracker.

  Lying on nothing but a fuckin’ mattress on the floor, just the sight of her causes my breath catch in my throat, she’s splayed out across the bed. The t-shirt of mine that she’s wearing has crept up, and I can make out the bottom swells of both her breasts peeking out.

  Fuckin’ blond hair around her in waves, she looks like every man’s wet dream, the embodiment of sensuality and purity all rolled up into one little firecracker. My firecracker.

  I lie beside her as gently as I can and pull the sheet that’s tangled in knots around her thighs and knees back up around her.

  I swear I have no intention of touching her.

  I want to. Jesus Christ, I want to, but I don’t. Until she moans deep in her throat and moves closer to me before molding her little body around mine. I still refuse to move. I can’t. No... I won’t let this be the first time I sink into Lil.

  She pulls her thigh around my waist, pressing her breasts with nipples so hard they could cut through glass up against my side. When her fucking hips start rubbing her hot little pussy against my hipbone and a moan rumbles through her chest, only two words hit me.

  Fuck it.

  I lose all mental function. All cognizant thought leaves me as every ounce of my blood rushes and swells my cock, causing it to throb in agony.

  My dick, not my head, has me on top of her in the next second...contemplating my strategy, my next move, that will immediately ensure I’m so fucking deep inside Lil that it makes my eyes cross.

  I’ve never felt anything so purely instinctual and primal.

  All I know is, I just caught my prey...and I’m fucking starving, dammit. For Lil and Lil alone.

  Her heavy-lidded eyes flutter open. I watch her face as confusion clouds her features, but as quickly as it came, it’s already gone and replaced with a shy little smile that makes the same weird shit happen in my chest and gut that only Lil is associated with.

  “Hey, sleepy girl. I’m glad you woke up.”

  She moans, stretching through a yawn. “Hey, baby. What time is it?”

  “Three thirty, maybe four.” This girl has no idea what she is doing to me. “You get warm, Lil?”

  “I did.”

  “Mmm.” I slowly slide the sheet away from her body. I’m fucking scared of moving too fast. “Good, then I can get this mummy suit off of you.”

  After I’ve removed the sheet from her body, I use my knee to nudge her legs apart and settle myself between them. I keep my upper body weight braced on my elbows, which are now resting on either side of her head.

  Looking down into her beautiful face, I can’t stop myself from kissing every curve and line of it. Her breath is ragged and her chest is heaving, I feel her begin to slowly rock her hips against me.

  “God, you’re beautiful, Lil. So fucking beautiful, baby.”

  I kiss her sweet, tender lips, slow and soft, trying to tell her with my mouth, my body, how much she means to me. I know I will never be able to find the right words. I’m not good with words. I’m not good with having these feelings. I’ve never had them before and they scare the fuck out of me. But for the life of me, I can’t let this girl go.

  I already know I’m in love with Lil. I already know I’ve fallen too far and that there is no going back for me.

  My firecracker lights up. She gets bolder and starts rubbing herself against my throbbing erection even harder than before. Her little moans and mewls have my eyes rolling back and my teeth grinding.

  Her aggressive kiss ignites the fucking beast within me. My mouth fills with the metallic taste of blood from our clashing teeth and tongues. She cut my lip.

  God-fucking-DAYUM, that’s hot.

  “Leo, please.”

  Oh fuck yes. Beg for it.

  “What, baby? Tell me what you want.”

  “I need…” It’s the neediest, most seductive whine that has ever met my ears. “Please, Leo. I need it.”

  The groan that escapes my chest isn’t one I can keep inside. Lil is shattering my defenses, my excuses, and any rational reasoning behind my trying to stay away from her. I strip my boxers down her legs and feel my breath get kicked out of my lungs as my eyes land on the sweetest, sexiest little pussy I’ve ever seen. I just stare. I can’t help it. Those fucking tan lines are going to be the death of me.

  Fucking look at them.

  She moves to hide herself, jerking me into action. I stop her.

  “Fucking hell. Goddamn, baby, I fuckin’ love your tan lines.” All the words are just a jumbled growl.

  I gotta taste them. I can’t not taste those sexy little lines. Running the tip of my tongue and my lips from hipbone to hipbone initiates a giggle from her that seeps into my tan-line-fogged brain.

  “Leo, stoooop...” She giggles. “That tickles!”

  “Shit, I need to get you back to beggin’ me, baby. Didn’t mean to get distracted and have you start laughin’ and gigglin’.” I grasp her leg by the crook of her knee, bringing it up around
my waist before digging my erection against her wet bareness.

  My mouth drops to hers of its own volition, begging for more of her hot, wet, puffy-lipped kisses and catching her moan when I slide my hand up her shirt to cup her warm, full breast.

  Her breathing becomes ragged as hell when my fingers pinch and tug on the puckered nipple of her swollen, heavy tit in my hand.

  “Mmmm, you like that, baby,” I grit out. “Huh?”

  Fuck! I love how alive she gets by just the touch of my hand.

  “Shit, Leo.” Her begs are almost more than I can fucking handle. My threads of patience are snapping so loud I can hear them echo throughout me.

  ”Answer me, baby. You like that?” I pull harder on Lil’s nipple, squeezing her heavy breast in my hand before I thrust my erection against her harder.

  ”Fuu... Yes, fuck yes. You know I do.” Her eyes are so hooded I can barely make out the blue right before her eyes roll back into her head again.

  “Mm hmm, I do. Still wanna hear you say it.” I tighten my hand around her other breast and roll her nipple between my thumb and middle finger, quickly moving my hand between her legs. As soon as my thumb hits her clit, her breath gets caught in her throat, her neck arches, and her back bows clear off the bed.

  “Mmm.” Jesus. She’s so damn wet it makes my cock pulse with every thud of my heartbeat. “Guess my baby girl really likes that. You like it when I rub on your clit, baby, hmm?”

  “Fucking shit,” she whimpers. “Hell yes I do. Oh my Gawd.” I feel her legs quivering around my forearm. I continue fucking her mouth with mine, nipping her bottom lip and pulling it between my teeth.

  “Fucking hell, Lil. Damn, baby, you’re soaking wet.” Her hip movements that are bucking her tight, drenched pussy against my hand falter for a second before her eyes flutter open and look up at me in confusion.

  “Wait, wha??? Is that bad?”

  The sane and rational part of my brain that holds whatever common sense I have left starts pumping the brakes while the irrational segment starts fucking her with my fingers harder, stroking faster circles against her g-spot.