Better vs. Worse

by Mary E Thompson

  I couldn’t finish my thoughts. It hurt too much to voice how it felt to know Mr. Kelley had as much faith in me as my own father. My father who always said I was making a mistake wanting to be in the water.

  He was the one who taught me to surf, who said the water could heal just about anything in life, then he tried to snatch that love away from me just because I’d magically become an adult by virtue of a birthday that left me without the shelter of parents who took care of me.

  And Mr. Kelley did the same.

  “Why do you care what he thinks?”

  I shrugged, not wanting to tell her the truth. I had no one who thought I was worth something. Kiki called me to work for her when one of the many guys she hired to work a few hours couldn’t be there. She replaced servers like they were as disposable as paper napkins. I was another one. Ada only wanted me when she was drunk, not when she was sober enough to know better. Even Ginny knew we were better off as friends.

  I didn’t have anyone in my life who believed in me. Mr Kelley wished me well when I left the plantation. He didn’t like me leaving and he thought I was crazy, but he wished me well. That was the closest I’d ever been to approval. It meant he believed in me. It meant he was there for me.

  I’d never told Ginny, but I’d gone to her father more than once for business advice. Knowing what he really thought tore me up.

  “Forget about my dad and let’s eat,” Ginny suggested.

  I didn’t want to eat, but if I bailed on her, Ginny would eat alone then head back to her father. She almost definitely lay into him on my behalf, and no one would end up on the winning end of that one.

  I finally nodded and picked my menu up again. When we decided what to eat, I went to the counter and ordered our food. I carried drinks back and decided I was going to have a good lunch with my friend even if it killed me.

  Based on the gnawing in my gut, it was going to.

  After lunch, Ginny and I went our separate ways. She headed back to the plantation, and I went home to work on my board. It was silly to have it sitting there and not do anything with it.

  I was better than that.

  It was still a solid block of foam with the thin stringer down the center. The gap between the two chunks of foam showed the wooden sliver, a detail I was looking forward to seeing in the finished board.

  I laid my template on top of the board and traced it onto the surface. When I removed the template, the board came into view.

  It was beautiful.

  I worked from the edges, shaving away chunks of the blank evenly until I grew closer and closer to the lines I’d drawn on the board.

  The shape I slowly carved out of the foam was starting to look like an actual surfboard. I had a lot of work to do to contour the block to the right curve so it would glide across the water, but the overall shape was amazing.

  My technique was rough at best, but I liked getting my hands on the board. Some people used hot wire to cut away all the excess, but without experience with it, I worried I’d go through part of the foam I needed. The foam peeled off easily with the sharp blade of my saw. Before I was ready for it, I needed to start cutting on the lines.

  I put the saw down and sat back to look at everything. Once I made those cuts, there was no going back. I couldn’t add foam onto the board once I sliced it away. This was it.

  I took a deep breath and picked my saw back up. I started at the tip and gave myself half an inch of gap between the blade and the line. Carefully, I slid the saw over the foam, a thin section sliding closer and closer to the floor of my lanai as I moved toward the end of the board.

  When I reached the tail end, the slice flopped to the floor with a hollow sound that startled me even though I expected it. One side of my board was done.

  I ran my hand down the edge, feeling carefully for jagged spots or trouble areas. It was a little rough, but not so rough that it couldn’t be fixed with a grinder and some fine grit sandpaper.

  I cut the other side, slicing in one smooth motion again to avoid stops and starts that would scar the foam. When the other piece dropped to the floor, I grinned.

  I had a board. It wasn’t finished and it wasn’t pretty, but it would be. I had a surfboard. One I created. One I was going to ride. One no one could steal from me.

  Not my father, nor Ginny’s. Nor all my exes who said I was an overgrown child. Not anyone.

  I started with plywood, added foam, and created something that would one day carry me over a wave. It was beautiful.

  Kiki called me the next week to talk about schedules and asked me to meet her at Opposites Attract. Knowing I wasn’t likely to run into Ada, I headed over hoping I could talk Kiki into lunch.

  I never thought I’d be lonely when Sawyer moved out.

  Kiki was in her office, head bowed over her desk, when I walked in. She looked so much like our mom that it shocked me at times. It came out of nowhere and punched me hard in the gut. Kiki had a yellow flower tucked behind her ear, and her long hair in a thick braid over her shoulder. Even the way she scrunched up her nose and rolled her eyes at herself reminded me of Mom.

  She looked up and caught me staring at her. She grinned, one more reminder of our mom, and rose from her chair to give me a hug.

  When our parents died, Kiki became my responsibility. I took care of her willingly, but there was a part of me that knew I’d have taken off in a heartbeat if there was any other option.

  I wrapped Kiki in my arms, a habit that started those first few months when she would wake up crying and needed someone to tell her everything would be okay. It wasn’t, not really, but we both needed to hear it. She was the only one who believed the words I spoke in the darkness.

  “Thanks for coming. I have a big party in a few weeks and I wanted to make sure we figured out what would work for you before I committed you to it.”

  “How big?” I asked, slipping into business mode.

  “Eight. Six men and two women.”

  “Experience?”

  “Some of them have surfed the east coast, but none of them said they were experienced.”

  “When?”

  “Three weeks. They want multiple lessons that week. They’re here two weeks. Get in on Saturday, wedding on Thursday. Some of the guests are leaving after a week, but the bride and groom are staying on another week. She’s one of the women who wants to surf.”

  My eyebrows spiked. Kiki hated when brides went surfing with me. The first time it happened, the bride took a surfboard to the cheek and had to be expertly made up so the bruise didn’t show.

  The second one had a nasty scrape with some coral and a strapless dress.

  The third one wiped out too close to shore and got married with a mild concussion.

  She banned me from working with brides ever since.

  “You sure about that?”

  “Not even a little,” Kiki said with a look that said she hadn’t forgotten why I didn’t work with her brides. “But she insisted she wants to learn to surf.”

  “Did you tell her the risks?”

  “Of course! But she said she doesn’t care about bruises or scrapes or even concussions.”

  “She sounds like my kind of woman,” I said with a laugh.

  “Hands off my brides.”

  I rolled my eyes to hide how much it stung that she thought she even needed to say that. “Do you really think I’d jump between two people, whether they were about to get married or not?”

  “Of course not,” she said with a laugh. “I know you’re not like that. I was just kidding.”

  “Are you sure? Because it feels like it’s something.”

  Her brows pulled together, a crease forming between them. “What are you talking about?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing. I’m just being stupid. It’s my default.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re one of the smartest guys I know. Except for the part that you don’t realize how perfect you and Ada are together.”

  “Excuse me?�
��

  She grinned and shrugged. “Sawyer might have said something about you having a thing for her. She’s adored you forever.”

  “She doesn’t want me, Kiki. Not really. She wants a guy who’s going to be able to take care of her.” I knew it. Kiki knew it. Everyone knew it. Ada said so, repeatedly.

  “Ada’s not like that.”

  I snorted and rose to leave. “We’re done with this conversation.”

  “Kapena, stop. I won’t bring it up again. Let’s schedule these surfing dates. Then maybe you can take me to lunch.”

  I fought a grin, but I couldn’t stay mad at her.

  I settled back in the chair and booked her clients for two weeks of surf lessons. I sent a quick text to Ginny to ask if she’d help out with a group that big and tucked my phone away when I got a thumbs up from her.

  “Where are you taking me to lunch?” Kiki asked when we stood.

  I shrugged. “Wherever you want.”

  She grinned and I knew I made a critical error. She was going to cost me a small fortune in sushi.

  “Hey, Kiki. Got a sec?” Ada said from behind me.

  I turned to face her, noting the tight smile she offered me. And the guy standing right behind her.

  “Yeah, what’s up?” Kiki said.

  “This is Micah Hale,” Ada said, dragging the guy out from behind her to introduce him to Kiki. “He’s the best caterer on the island. I wanted you to meet him because I think you should hire him.”

  Kiki blanched before she shook the guy’s hand. I crossed my arms, staring him down. Not that he noticed. He was focused on my sister and Ada, flashing smiles at both women at the same time.

  His short hair was dark and cropped close, like Ada liked. He was shorter than me, but he wouldn’t go down easily in a fight. He had a quick smile, especially when it came to women, which made me wonder how Ada knew him.

  I studied him more carefully. He wore sneakers, not flip flops like most of the islanders. The pockets on his cargo shorts were pressed flat, like his white button down shirt. He had the look of a business owner, with a casual slant that made me not like him one bit. He was definitely the kind of guy Ada liked.

  “I’d have to try some of your food before we talk about giving you a trial run for one of our weddings,” Kiki was saying when I clued back in to the conversation.

  “But I just told you how good he is,” Ada argued, her eyebrows tugging together.

  “And I appreciate it. I definitely need someone, but I have to be sure everything he makes will be up to the standards I have in place for Opposites Attract.”

  “Do you think I would bring you someone who wasn’t good?”

  Kiki gave Ada a look and pulled her out of the room with an, “Excuse us for a minute,” to Micah and me.

  He finally looked at me and nodded. “This looks like a great place to work. Kiki sounds tough.”

  “That’s Kiana to you,” I growled. “And she’s as tough as they come for a reason. She’s not going to let some kolohe in here to mess up everything she’s killed herself to create.”

  He stepped closer, not quite in my face, but not out of it either. “I’m not a kolohe. And you’d do best to remember that.”

  “And I’m not letting you ruin my sister’s business. You’d do best to remember that.”

  We stared each other down for a long minute until the women walked back into the room. Micah stepped back first, flashing that smile at Ada again.

  “Where are you working now, Micah?” Kiki asked him.

  “Nico’s.”

  The pizza place? Kiki would never go for that.

  “Oh, um. Most of my guests prefer higher end food than that, but I’ll check it out. When are you there next?”

  “Tomorrow night.”

  Kiki checked her calendar and made a note. “I’ll be there tomorrow night, and we’ll go from there.”

  Micah nodded and beamed at her like she just offered him her first born. “That’s perfect, Kiana. Thank you for the opportunity. You won’t be disappointed.”

  Kiki nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Micah.”

  Micah turned to leave, giving me a brief nod, when Ada spun and followed him. She barely even registered me being there.

  It was for the best.

  “You ready for lunch?”

  “Yep,” I grumbled and followed Kiki outside.

  Chapter Five

  I didn’t like him,” I grumbled as I settled into a seat across from my sister. “I don’t trust him.”

  Kiki shrugged. “I’m not thrilled with the idea of hiring a guy who works at a pizza place, but I’ll give it a try. God knows I haven’t had any luck hiring anyone else since Cathy left. People aren’t willing to give a place like Opposites Attract a chance.”

  “They’re insane,” I argued. “But you still shouldn’t hire Micah.”

  Kiki huffed out an irritated breath. “Why, Kapena? What do you have against a guy you met an hour ago. One you really didn’t speak to.”

  I growled to myself because I knew I couldn’t tell her the truth. For one thing, if I admitted I was jealous of the easy way Micah had with Ada, that would only bring back our earlier conversation. If I admitted that I kind of got in the guy’s face, she’d be pissed.

  So I kept my mouth shut.

  “If I had another option, I’d look into it, but the reality is, it’s not cheap to hire in a caterer for each event. They have their own stuff to do, like running a restaurant or catering business.”

  “Then why wouldn’t they want to work with you?” I asked. It made no sense to me. If a place was in the business of making food and delivering it to customers, why was it a problem to do that for Opposites Attract?

  “They want repeat customers. They want local customers. They want to know they’re the ones getting credit. I always tell the bride and groom where I got their food, but it doesn’t sink in the same way it would if they hired the caterer. They hire me, and they should be working with me. Not with another company I had to bring in to deliver what I couldn’t.”

  We paused our conversation to order lunch, then jumped back in.

  “Have you thought about hiring one of them full time? Then you kind of get both? You can get them listed on your website and know you don’t have to worry about catering again?”

  Kiki shrugged. She looked tired all of a sudden. Like we’d had the conversation before and she was worn out from having to explain herself to me again.

  I was her big brother. I was the guy she went to for years when she needed advice. It had been a long time since she sought my guidance.

  “You know what? Never mind. You know what you’re doing. You’ve been running Opposites Attract for years. You know the best thing to do. Just ignore me.”

  I focused on my water like it was the most interesting thing I’d ever seen in my life. I felt her watching me, but I ignored her, choosing to let my gaze land anywhere but Kiki while I thought of something else to talk about.

  “How is it living with Sawyer?” I finally asked.

  Kiki’s face transformed from worried, probably about my sanity, to blissful in a heartbeat. She got that dreamy look in her eyes that she reserved for my former roommate. I wasn’t thrilled about them being together at first, but he was good for her.

  “It’s great,” she murmured. “He’s a great guy.”

  “Any wedding talk yet?”

  She wrinkled her nose. “No. It’s too soon for that.”

  “You moved in together a couple months after you met him and think getting married is too soon?”

  She shrugged. “It feels fast. Moving in together seemed logical. We knew you didn’t really want us at your house, and we wanted to respect your space. Plus, we were spending a lot of nights together anyway. It made sense.”

  I chuckled. My sister was the most logical person I knew. Even emotions were relegated to logic when she had her way. Sawyer was different, though. He was the wild and carefree in their relationship. The ch
aos that fit into her order. They worked in ways I never thought they would.

  I was sure he’d crush her heart. And I was ready to crush him for it, but he surprised me by loving my sister in a way no one ever had.

  “I think you’re crazy. But hey, if you want to delay my trip down the aisle, I’m all for that.”

  “Your trip down the aisle? What do you mean?” Kiki asked, wide-eyed.

  “Shit, no. Not like that. I meant walking you down the aisle. Jeez.”

  “Oh, um… When we get married, we’ll probably go to Vegas or something. I don’t know if we’ll have a real wedding.”

  “Like hell you will. You’re a wedding planner. Why wouldn’t you plan your own wedding?”

  “Jack’s threatened to do it for me.”

  “Good, then it’s settled. It’ll be the one and only trip I take down that aisle. You’re not getting out of it.”

  “You’ll get married one day.”

  I snorted and shook my head. “Nope. Never gonna happen.”

  The waitress dropped our food off and asked if we needed anything. When she was gone, Kiki said, “I’m going to cheer so loud at your wedding.”

  I shook my head. “There won’t be a wedding. I’m not meant to get married. I don’t have anything to offer a woman. I’ll be the weird uncle who teaches your kids to surf and buys them things you won’t let them have.”

  Kiki laughed and forgot about her train of thought to get me down the aisle. We dove into an argument of all the things I’d buy for her kids one day.

  It wasn’t until I got home later that I realized she never argued about me not being meant to get married.

  Maybe I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

  I slept in the next morning since I didn’t have any lessons scheduled for the day. I spent the day working on my board but took a break in the afternoon to go out for a ride. My throat was bothering me all day and my head felt foggy. I tried to tell myself it was from working with the shaving of the foam, but it felt like more than that. My back screamed with pain if I moved the wrong way. Bending over a board all day wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be, but the water felt good on my sore muscles. I stretched my back out as I swam a little, dragging my board behind me on the leash.