Better vs. Worse

by Mary E Thompson

  Sawyer ran a hand through his short hair and closed his eyes. The guilt was written all over his face. I knew it, and he knew it. He should have said something. And he knew more than I did.

  “I don’t really know what’s going on with them.”

  “But something is,” I said. I didn’t have to ask, I knew it.

  “I don’t know. It looks like it, but it’s not like I’ve walked in on them screwing in the kitchen.”

  The image of him pressing her to the freezer door, or lifting her on the prep counter and settling between her thighs, popped into my head. The highlight reel played, all the different places and ways he could have her in the kitchen displayed on the backs of my eyelids for my viewing displeasure.

  “Did someone else?” I asked, because I was an idiot and I needed to know.

  Sawyer shook his head. “Not that I’ve heard of. Listen, they’re flirty, but I don’t know that they’re actually together.”

  “But you don’t know that they’re not,” I countered. “Shit, Sawyer, you knew how I felt about her.”

  He nodded, not arguing. If he was really my friend, he would have told me what was going on. No matter how much it would suck to find out she actually was sleeping with other people, it would be nice to know.

  It wasn’t even that she was sleeping with other people. She told me she was. It was that she was sleeping with Micah. He wasn’t a fling with a guy who was going back to the mainland in a few days. He was a guy she already had a relationship with. Someone who was sticking around and would be here. Someone she could get into something more than sex with.

  That’s what she’d always wanted. A relationship. Something long term, permanent. She only decided carefree sex was the right path because I ruined her last relationship.

  I knew it would happen eventually. That she’d find a guy she wanted, but I didn’t think it would happen so quickly.

  “Maybe Kiana knows more,” Sawyer offered trying to guide me back inside.

  I couldn’t walk back in there. Not when I knew what I’d hear and see. I told my sister not to hire him. I knew what would happen if she did.

  “I gotta go. I’ll catch you guys later,” I said.

  Sawyer let me go. Sure, he called out to me, but he didn’t chase me down.

  I was back at my house within a few minutes. My hands itched to do something so I went out and worked on Ginny’s board. It kept me from feeling completely useless all afternoon.

  I didn’t even notice when the sun sank into the ocean. My body screamed to stop working, but I knew if I did, I’d picture Ada and Micah together again.

  A knock on my door startled me out of my trance. It took a few tries before I put my saw down and went to see who was bugging me.

  Ada’s back was to me when I opened the door. She was walking away.

  That was a sight I needed to get used to.

  I leaned against the doorframe and asked, “Why are you here?”

  She turned back to me, a question clear on her face. “I’ve been here every night for weeks. Why wouldn’t I be here?”

  I shrugged. “I figured you’d just stay with Micah tonight. Get that something delicious to put in your mouth.”

  She snorted. “I was talking about food. Speaking of which, I brought you some. Did you eat dinner?”

  My stomach answered for me with a loud growl. I didn’t want Micah’s food. Yeah, it smelled good, but it was tainted.

  Ada pushed past me, her light floral scent making me want to forget all about the food and have her instead. She went to my kitchen and pulled out two overflowing containers of food.

  “Do you mind if I eat with you? I was talking more than eating tonight and I’m starving.”

  I shook my head and took the food from her. She handed me a plastic fork and a beer. My favorite kind.

  “There’s cake, too, but I need to eat this first.”

  I nodded and sat next to her on the couch. She grabbed my remote and put on the channel she wanted to watch, then sank back against the cushion with a heavy sigh. She tucked in to her dinner, eyes locked on the TV.

  What the hell? Were we buddies now? Not fuck buddies, but friends? She brought me dinner, watched TV at my house, and then what? We were going to talk? No. Hell no.

  If she was going to be at my house, it was either so we could have sex like she wanted or because she was with my sister. I couldn’t sit there and pretend I was okay with a friendship with her.

  “We’re just going to eat dinner and watch TV?” I asked, my food still untouched.

  She shook her head. “I brought cake, too. Didn’t I tell you that? I know you like dessert.”

  “What the hell is going on with us?”

  “What do you mean?” she asked without looking at me.

  What did I mean? We said we were going to sleep together and we were both free to sleep with other people. She never changed the rules. I was the idiot who fell for her and got jealous as fuck that she was sleeping with someone else. I was the one who got too close. That wasn’t her fault. It was mine.

  I shook my head and ate my dinner. She watched the show, commenting and laughing and acting like nothing was wrong. Because for her, nothing was. She was perfect. She had it all.

  I was the one getting my heart ripped to shreds.

  When we finished dinner, I trashed the containers and grabbed the slices of cake she packed up.

  Ada swiped her finger through the frosting and looked up at me. “I forgot forks.”

  “I can get forks,” I offered.

  She slid her finger into her mouth and shook her head.

  I froze, knowing things were about to get interesting.

  She dipped her finger in the frosting again, then slid the sticky sugar across her collarbone.

  I didn’t hesitate to lean into her and lick her skin clean. I raised my head just long enough for her to leave me another trail to follow then dragged my tongue down her arm. Another trail went into her cleavage. And another from her ear down her chin.

  By the time I finished her cake, I was throbbing and ready to be inside her, but Ada had other ideas.

  She painted me with frosting and drove me crazy with her pink tongue. My shirt disappeared followed quickly by my pants and briefs. Then she sank to her knees in front of me and made my cock jerk with a ribbon of frosting coating it.

  Her eyes locked on mine as she took me in her mouth. The urge to thrust into her and take what I needed was strong, but I waited to see what she was going to do.

  The woman could suck a dick like a pro. Not that I’d ever been with a pro, but Ada pressed her tongue to the underside of my cock and had me jerking off the couch. She dragged her teeth over me lightly on her way back to the tip. That perfect tongue circled my head before she dove right back in, taking me in deep enough to hit her throat.

  Her lavender dress hitched up her thighs, the length of fabric tight around her legs. Watching her, still fully dressed, was the sexiest fucking thing I’d ever seen. Her eyes told me how turned on she was. Sucking me off was doing it for her, something I definitely didn’t expect.

  I sat there, letting her work her magic. Sweat beaded on my flesh and slithered down my body. I ached to come, but I was not going to come in her perfect mouth. And I was definitely not going to come first.

  When I was almost to the point of no return, I reluctantly reached for her to drag her off her knees.

  She shook me off.

  “Ada,” I warned. The danger zone was right there. I could feel it rushing at me like a wave that wasn’t going to glide right under me. It was going to pummel me to the sand and leave me with scars.

  Again, Ada shook me off. She renewed her efforts to suck my dick, bringing her hand in on the fun. She cupped my balls, and the traitorous fuckers jumped at the chance to get some action.

  I tried to pull her up while I fought off the orgasm screaming down my spine. She swatted at me and sucked harder, deeper.

  My hands went into her hair. It
would hurt her, but it would get her to move if I tugged her up by the hair. Instead of acquiescing, Ada groaned. And not a frustrated or hurt groan. Oh, no. That sexy woman groaned like my hands in her hair turned her on even more.

  I couldn’t fight it anymore. I was so beyond done, I could barely breathe. She rolled my nuts in her hand and adjusted to the pace I set with my hands, still buried deep in her hair.

  A yell started in my balls and rolled through me. When it finally burst from my lips, my cock exploded into her mouth, deep in her throat.

  I held her in place, my hands tight in her hair, holding her against me as my balls emptied themselves. Fuck, she took me in deep. I’d never come that hard during a blow job in my life. Not even the first one when it was all new.

  I finally released my hold on her hair. She didn’t pull away immediately like I half expected. She swirled her tongue around me then deep-throated me a couple more times before easing back and swallowing deeply.

  “Holy fuck,” I murmured, reaching for her.

  She climbed up onto the couch with me and snuggled against my side. Her hand rested low on my belly, toying with the patch of hair below my belly button.

  I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say if speech was possible. She was amazing. Sexy. Perfect. She was everything.

  “Thank you for letting me do that,” she said against my chest. “I’ve always wanted to.”

  “Really?” I asked. “Most women don’t really enjoy it.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t always, but it’s you.”

  There was definitely something significant in her statement, but I was too far gone to know what it was.

  I was halfway asleep before I could say anything else. She held me until I passed out completely. An orgasm was better than a sleeping pill any day.

  I didn’t know how long I was asleep for. Having Ada in my arms was the best feeling in the world. I convinced myself she’d be there in the morning. That we would wake up together and have breakfast and spend time together. That we could be something more than fuck buddies.

  Somewhere around midnight, a faint noise leaked into my brain. I opened my eyes, trying to place where I was, and remembered the night before. I squeezed the soft woman next to me and groaned.

  She’d replaced herself with a pillow. She was gone. Again.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Things returned to the new normal with Ada after that night. She came over late, without food. We had sex, and she left.

  I felt like I was missing something.

  After the blow job of my life, the connection we shared, I wanted that. I wanted her. I wanted more than sex and a disappearing act.

  I wanted her to not be ashamed of me.

  I was up early and ready to go the following Tuesday when Kiki’s wedding party was due to show up. Ginny texted saying she would be there soon, but she was coming on foot from down the beach.

  I pulled out a bunch of boards since I had no idea what I was going to need for the group. It was lucky I had so many boards and didn’t have to rent a few from somewhere.

  Car doors slammed as I was pushing the sliding doors open out back. The doorbell told me they were definitely in my driveway and ready for a day of surfing.

  “Kapena?” the woman at the front of the line asked. She was cute, tiny. She looked like a chihuahua with her caramel colored hair and skin a shade lighter. Green eyes looked up at me, bright and happy, but also taking stock.

  She wasn’t going to take shit from anyone.

  Which meant she’d be a hell of a surfer.

  “I am. You’re Meghan?”

  She nodded and walked inside, followed by the rest of her party. The groom, Cole, was tall and dark-skinned with eyes as black as night. The brightest part of the guy was his white teeth. He never stopped smiling.

  Behind Cole was his brother, best friend, and two cousins. The last guy was Meghan’s brother, and he brought his wife with him.

  I herded them all onto the lanai and was just starting to explain how to pick a board when Ginny joined us.

  “This is Ginny. She’s a pro surfer and a good friend. She’s going to help us out today since there’s so many of you.”

  “How good of a friend?” asked Cole’s cousin, Jerrod or Jamie, I couldn’t remember which one.

  “Good enough that I know his secrets, not good enough that I’m sharing his bed,” Ginny said succinctly, earning a laugh and a high-five from the two women in the group.

  The men looked impressed enough with her. It didn’t help that Ginny was gorgeous. She wore her purple rash guard that clung to every curve and a tiny bikini bottom that showed more bottom than it covered.

  She knew as well as I did that happy customers tipped well.

  We walked them all through choosing a board and approved their selections before we got them out on the beach. With a big group, we opted not to have them dive right into the water, but to practice before they got out there, just in case.

  Ginny took the four single guys and left me with the two couples.

  “How long have you been married?” I asked Tom, Meghan’s brother.

  “Three years,” he said with a hand on his wife’s shoulder.

  “Do you all live close to each other?”

  They nodded. “Cole and I were close growing up. We drifted a little in college, but when I moved back to Michigan, he and Meghan had just started dating.”

  “Really? Your friend dated your sister? How was that?”

  The men exchanged a grin, and the women just laughed.

  “Let’s just say there were some growing pains,” Cole provided. “And some real pains for me. He broke my nose the first time Meghan and I spent the night together.”

  I laughed, thinking back to my own fight with Sawyer. I got a couple good punches in on him when I found out my sister spent the night in his bed. Under my roof.

  “I got over it,” Tom defended.

  “Mostly,” his wife, Amber, agreed. “You still have your moments.”

  “Yeah, but he’s good to my sister so I let him live.”

  “Oh, please,” Meghan interjected. “We all know if he did something stupid, I’d be the first to kick Cole’s ass.”

  The other three exchanged glances and nodded in agreement.

  “It’s good to have a woman in your corner who’s going to love you and knock you out. She won’t let you get away with shit, but she won’t let you get into it either,” I said.

  Cole nodded. “You sound like you have your own woman on your side. Is that Ginny?”

  I snorted and shook my head. “Nah. Gin’s great. She’s my best friend, without a doubt, but that’s all there is to it for us.”

  “Really? You’ve never thought about anything else with her? Because there’s someone in your mind right now,” Tom pressed.

  I shook my head. “We tried dating a lifetime ago. It didn’t stick. She’s amazing, but she’s not it for me.”

  The guys nodded as though they completely understood my thoughts. It was nice having other men around who weren’t going to question everything I said or did. Who just accepted it.

  And then there were the women.

  “But someone else is,” Meghan said, way too tuned in to how I was feeling.

  “I didn’t say that,” I defended.

  She and Amber snorted. “You didn’t have to. It’s written all over your face. Who is it? If it’s not Ginny, who is it?”

  I shook my head and tried to laugh it off. “You ladies are fishing. Let’s get out in the water. Do some surfing.”

  The four of them followed me out into the ocean. They dove beneath the waves like I showed them, and we all settled a little way away from Ginny and her group.

  “Now what?” Cole asked.

  I positioned myself in the middle of the two couples. As we waited for waves to approach, I told them what to expect.

  “Waves will come up quickly. It will seem like you have time, and then it’ll drop out from under
you. Some of you might not catch a wave today. If you don’t, we’ll get you on one next time. We’re going to take turns. Whoever goes first will get the first wave I say to go for. When you go in, ride the wave. If you feel comfortable enough, stand. There’s no rule that you have to stand, but you’re in Hawaii. You’re gonna want to stand. When you get close to the shore, jump off the board and head back out to us.”

  “Is there anything that will help us?” Meghan asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Listen to what I tell you to do. Are you ready?”

  She nodded.

  I jerked my head toward the shore and said, “Paddle! Hard. It’s coming. Go, go, go!”

  She took off, swimming like she was born in water. The wave picked her up in a flash. She hung on to the front for about three seconds before the wave crashed over her and she disappeared from view.

  “Meghan!” Cole screamed, starting to paddle toward her.

  “Wait,” I told him. If Meghan didn’t come up in a few seconds, I’d get her, but I had little doubt Meghan could handle herself.

  We all waited, staring at the spot where she disappeared. It felt like minutes, but really only seconds later, she popped up. She immediately grabbed her board, hoisted herself onto it, and paddled back toward us.

  “I was too far forward, wasn’t I?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Just a little. When the wave comes up on you, it’s a balancing act to find that perfect spot where you’re not going off the front or the back. For your first attempt, it was impressive.”

  “You guys hear that? I’m impressive. I bet none of you can do better.”

  And just like that, Meghan threw down the gauntlet.

  By the time everyone swam in for lunch, more than half of them caught good waves. Meghan was the first of my group to get one, which didn’t surprise me in the least. She picked it up quickly and took it upon herself to help the others.

  Kiki ordered us lunch to be delivered so everything was ready when we got to the house. The guys Ginny was with took their sandwiches onto the beach to eat and check out the scenery. The couples stayed close to the house. Ginny and I hung out with them.

  “So, you’re single, Ginny?” Meghan asked.