Blue

by H. J. Bellus

  “It’s that time, cheerleaders. Get on with your bad selves.”

  Instantly, music is blaring once again. Laney, another team leader, snags me by the elbow and propels me up onto a table with the other leaders. I stand like a fucking idiot as the others start freestyling to Hot in Herre by Nelly. The rest of the cheerleaders surround the table and start dancing as well. It only takes me minutes to find my rhythm and groove with the girls and finally fully accept the position as a leader. I let my hair down and even swing it around as I carelessly twerk a bit too aggressively. I make sure to pooch my tush when the infamous part of the song comes on and then break out into the running man, letting my pants have some of the limelight.

  The DJ picks up on my moves and switches to the classic Can’t Touch This, and the other leaders just shake their heads. It’s evident there’s no old blood lingering in them. My dad insisted if I was going to dance and cheer that I know some oldies, and granted, MC Hammer wasn’t at the top of his list, but I learned it.

  The crowd’s response is ridiculous, in turn causing me to dance harder and with sharper moves. When the song ends, I give the signal across my throat that I’m done and take a bow. My heart couldn’t handle another song as my lungs struggle to inhale and exhale the stifled air filling the room. Hopping from the table, I look for an exit, or at the very least a window to get some fresh oxygen.

  It doesn’t take long to find one off to the side of the dance floor, and it is already opened. My hip rests against the frame, and I try to calm the adrenaline and my rapid breathing. Pulling out my phone, I text the new developments to my mom. Damn, I do really need to get a life.

  I know she won’t see it until morning, but I still give her play-by-play action.

  “Damn, can’t stand to be away from him that long?”

  At the sound of a familiar, dark voice, I glance up into Tuck’s eyes. I shoot him a questioning look, and he only nods over his shoulder. Noah has his phone out texting as well. Just as I have calmed myself down, my fucking blood boils at his words. Part of me wants punch him in the baby-maker, and the other part is thankful the asshole is talking to me.

  Without much thought I whip the phone in his face. “I’m texting my mommy, asshole.” He just shrugs and isn’t fazed much by my words, but I do sense some tension leave his shoulders. “And why would you care, Tuck? You can’t stand me.”

  “It’s not that, Blue.”

  “Then?”

  He just simply shakes his head once again, not even attempting to offer an explanation. The lights in the whole house go out, leaving us wrapped in a pitch-black cocoon. A strobe light above the dance floor flicks out some lights, but not near enough to be able to see anything. Cellphones start waving back and forth with their flashlight apps on to the slow and steady beat of a song. And when I hear what song it is, I realize it may be one of the saddest love songs ever. Let Her Go floats in the air as the tone of the party slows way down, and I’m guessing this is when several bodies will clear out and boy parts meet girl parts behind closed doors in any slice of privacy they can find.

  I turn to walk away from the window and am halted when Tuck wraps his hand around my wrist. His fingers easily overlap my tiny wrist, way overpowering me. I am about to finally lay into him and just let him know much he has ruined me, my ovaries, and hot man radar.

  Before I have the chance to rip him a new asshole, he lowers his face to mine.

  “I didn’t get a chance to say congratulations, Blue.”

  He sweeps his sweet lips over mine with a little taunt of a kiss, and my knees buckle, and I literally sway. His hand goes to the small of my back, dragging me into him while his lips fully land on mine. I’m so stunned I don’t even attempt to be a partner in the kiss.

  Tuck lets out a low growl that vibrates off my lips, awakening something within me, and my lips come alive. I kiss him back hard, trying to soak up his taste in one long, hard swallow. I’m the first to open my mouth to him, and he doesn’t hesitate as his tongue darts into my mouth. The room is still black and the song plays. I know once the lights go on that I’ll lose this Tuck, so I take full advantage of this opportunity.

  The sweet taste of the man in my mouth drives away all common sense, and boy, does he know how to kiss as he runs his tongue all over the inside of my mouth. He shoves the small of my back into him, and I can tell just how excited he is. I want him like I’ve never wanted anything in my life.

  I finally snap out of the luscious trance his mouth spun me into and kiss back and begin to explore the inside of his mouth with my tongue. I raise my hands to run them through his hair. Two fingers reach below his beanie, and he shakes his head, not breaking the kiss. I rest my shaking palms on the top of his shoulders and let him spin me around and push me up against a wall. He hikes one of my legs up and around his hip, and grinds up into me. My head drops back and I moan.

  His lips trace down my neck, licking and sucking on anything he can find. I know the song is almost over and go in for the kill.

  Firmly I place both of my palms on his cheeks and make him look at me.

  “I want you, Tuck. I want you as a friend, and I want to touch you. Let me in.”

  Just another growl and he’s devouring my lips like a hungry, wild beast. This time my hands trail from his cheeks back behind his ears with the intention of wrapping my arms around his neck. I feel Tuck tense up and don’t give two fucks. My right hand stalls a bit when it hits the bumpy and marred flesh behind his ear. I don’t leave it there long in fear of Tuck pulling away. My fingers interlock around the back of his neck and I kiss the fuck out of him, putting everything I have out on the line. I bite down on his bottom lip, and it’s not a subtle move as my hand reaches down between us and I grope his hard erection.

  Still sealed to his lips, I tell him again, “I want you, Tuck.” My words are lost in our heated passion. The song ends and he pulls away, leaving no body contact at all.

  “Congrats, Blue.” He steps back and slides his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Noah is a good guy. We’ve played together for years. He’ll take care of you.”

  “I want you, Tuck.”

  He slowly but steadily begins to walk away while staring at me, and with each step I slide down the wall until I’m on my butt with my head buried in my knees and tears are streaming down my cheeks. I don’t look up to see if he’s still watching me, and I sure as hell know I won’t feel his touch again. That greedy bastard, taking me like that and then leaving me and trying to deflect my feeling to his teammate. My blood boils with the sheer selfishness, but then again, I was the greedy one soaking it up.

  God did give Tuck lips to kill a girl.

  Chapter 9

  The radiant California sunlight beams through the window and perches right upon my eyelids as if targets are covering them. I growl knowing Sophie left the blind open once again.

  “Sophie.”

  No response, and I don’t need to turn to see that she’s not in her bed. It’s something that’s becoming more and more common. I swear Lane pays off our dorm supervisor to allow so many sleepovers.

  Bitching and moaning the whole way, I force myself out of my warm blankets, scamper across the cold tile, snap the blinds shut, and then jet back into my warm blankets. I close my eyes and wait for sleep to come to me again. The damage is done with the bright sun and the chilly, tingling pads of my feet.

  “I swear, one day I’ll twat tap your ass, Sophie,” I bark out into the empty room.

  My fists ball into the soft comforter, trying not to replay last night over and over in my mind. It’s not like I dreamt about the sound of my name being called, dancing at the house, and then those lips. Yes, each one of those haunted my dreams, and now I’m up to face it in full-force reality.

  I do what every college student does and grab my phone from my nightstand to mindlessly troll shit on Facebook and Instagram. I make the huge mistake of stalking Stephie’s profile and can practically feel her venom pricking me from her na
sty statuses. She’s clearly not thrilled and looks to be my biggest obstacle. I would’ve paid to see the look on her face. I bet it was the equivalent of having her lady nuts chopped off when my name was announced.

  I grin and know Karma is a bitch, so quickly stop relishing Stephie’s pathetic life. This may be the longest and most miserable day of my life. No cheer practice. A whole day of nothingness, and it practically makes my skin crawl at the very thought. I lose myself in my phone, call my mom and listen to her ramble, shower, chow some yogurt, watch inappropriately funny-ass videos of people doing dumb things on the Internet, until Sophie waltzes into our dorm.

  I’m happy for her and her relationship with Lane, but it would be nice to have a close friend to hang with. It just means I need to make friends with some of the other girls on the team, but I’ve been way too focused on practices.

  “Hey, queenie leader,” Sophie sings as she bounds on me.

  “Please do tell me that you showered off all your hot animalistic sex.”

  “I did, but then we did it in the shower. Does that count?’

  I flip her off me as we both erupt in a fit of laughter. She knows nothing of last night’s encounter with Tuck¸ and I’m bound and determined to keep it that way. Seeing her sends thrills of excitement coursing through my body, and I’m not sure if it’s because of human contact or the fact she reminds me of everything cheer team.

  “Hey, Lane and I are heading out to the beach for the rest of the day. Want to go?”

  My ass is up and off my bed bounding around the room, and while I’m ripping through my drawer to find my bikini, she keeps talking.

  “Noah’s going too.” She sounds nervous, so I turn to look at her and smile.

  “Cool. He’s really nice.”

  Her shocked expression is hilarious, but I don’t pay attention to it, as I need to get out of the room five minutes ago. Boredom nearly killed me off. I find my favorite black bikini and hurry to put it on and then begin packing a beach bag. Since I’m from Colorado, I’m probably going to look like quite the tourist with my matching beach tote and towel, but I grab them anyway and throw in a couple bottles of water, jerky, and some serious junk food. The last thing to land in the bag is an apple, and I only toss it in there to alleviate the guilt.

  “I’m ready.”

  I turn to Sophie, who is moving slower than slow, fiddling with her hair and then readjusting her bikini while studying all of it in the mirror. I’ll never understand girls like her who take more time than needed. I mean, hell, she already has Lane wrapped around her little finger.

  “I’ll wait in the lounge,” I say, hoping she’ll hurry up.

  When I walk out to the area with couches and a big screen TV, it’s deserted except for two people. Lane and Noah. I actually spark up at the idea of another individual accompanying us, so it’s not just a suck-face-fest with an awkward third wheel attached.

  “Boys.” I flop down on the oversized yellow chair and prop my tan legs up on the ottoman.

  They both nod at me, but I don’t miss the huge smile on Noah’s face when he sees me, and it makes my gut hurt because I don’t want to send him the wrong signs. I need to keep it in the friend mode with this guy and make sure it’s clear to both of us.

  Lane is the first to break the silence. “Congrats on last night.”

  “Thank you. I’m still in shock.” I rub my knobby kneecaps and try to play it cool.

  “Yeah, I bet.” Noah winks at me.

  “Lane, get in there and drag your girl out. I’m going stir crazy in this place.” I stand and start pacing.

  “You got it.”

  “And no funny business in there,” I holler.

  Lane is in full stride, but takes a moment to look over his shoulder with a devilish grin.

  “Oh my god, those two hump like bunnies. I’m not sure how Sophie can manage to walk sometimes.”

  “Young love. I’ll take you in my car and send Lane a text to meet us.” Noah grabs my bag and heads toward the elevator before I have the chance to say yes or no, so I just follow him.

  Friend mode, friend status, I repeat over and over in my mind, because after last night’s kiss, it’s clear my body is hardwired for only one man. And clearly that man has some attachment issues.

  “We could wait.” I stall at the entrance of the elevator.

  “I won’t hurt you, Blue, I know where your heart is.” Noah reaches out his hand to me once again, and still no combustion happening down in the lady parts. I grab it and hop on the elevator. I guarantee his reference was to cheering, and he was right, and that will be the perfect excuse to keep it in friend mode only.

  Just like last night, he keeps everything relaxed and light-hearted. He opens the door to his sleek black sports car for me, and I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “Damn, this is fancy for a college athlete. Someone paying you?”

  He chuckles at my reference to the biggest no-no in college sports.

  “Nah, it’s from back home.”

  “Southern boys drive things like this?” I point to the dash.

  “Some of us.” He dusts his shoulder with his hand as he settles in the driver’s seat. “The good ones, that is.”

  I laugh at his joke as the engine roars to life. Everything about this man should turn me on. The more I analyze it, the more pissed I become at Tuck. I’ll give it one more day. One more day of hanging with Noah and see what happens.

  Noah turns on the music to some extremely loud and very thumping tunes. It’s upbeat, and before I realize it my thoughts and the music have consumed the whole trip. When I look up, the beach is amazing, and it’s the first time I’ve been since arriving here in California. I squeal as I get out of the car and wrap Noah up in a great big hug from the sheer excitement. It’s just something about the sounds of the waves crashing in and the peaceful lull encompassing the atmosphere.

  I didn’t even realize my legs had taken off around the front of the car. Thank god Noah is a star quarterback and wasn’t thrown off by my leap into his body. Brushing my hair back over my shoulder, I step back and try to play it real cool. The slight ocean breeze has the top of my hair swirling in circles. I try to calm it down when I notice Noah is staring at me.

  “What was that for?” he asks with that sly grin.

  “I needed this, Noah, I needed out of the dorms, and I mean…this is gorgeous.”

  “It’s my favorite place here. Spent a lot of time here my freshman year coping with homesickness and going from top dog to low man on the totem pole.” Noah tosses my beach bag over his shoulder and I giggle.

  “What?” he asks with a raised eyebrow.

  “You look so cute packing that bag.” I point at the neon colored tote, scrunching my nose up. “You know I can carry it.”

  “I’m a gentleman. I’d carry a pink purse for a lady.”

  I just shake my head at him and wonder why in the hell god gave someone all the swoon factor. He bottled it all up in Noah and didn’t leave an ounce of it for Tuck.

  “Why don’t you have a girlfriend?” My hand flies to my mouth when the question comes out. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that, it’s just…”

  Noah picks up on my embarrassment and rambling words. “It’s okay, Blue. It’s pretty simple. Football is number one in my life and always has been, and the right girl hasn’t come into my life. Still waiting on my princess who doesn’t mind if I live in a gym and can share me with football.”

  “Guessing there’s not too many of them out there,” I reply.

  “Right. I could ask you the same question.”

  And with a silent stare he waits for my answer.

  “Same as you.” I grab my towel and lay my claim on a piece of the sandy goodness, kicking off my flip-flops and letting my toes sink into the warm sand.

  “Sometimes I want a girl, but other times I know it will never work out.”

  I shrug, full well understanding the words that just came out of his mouth. I didn’t
date much in high school, and now it seems the only man I want has no desire to be with me.

  “Noah.”

  “Blue.”

  “How well do you know Tuck?”

  He grins as he pulls his tank off over his head, sending his sandy brown locks flowing in that light breeze. God, I should be dry humping my towel for this hunk of a man in front of me, but I’m not. I hear some giggles and look over my shoulder and notice a small crowd of college girls whose ovaries just melted from the blonde Adonis.

  “Why?” he finally asks.

  I just shrug and really don’t know how to answer him, so I don’t.

  “Tuck’s a good guy.”

  And he simply leaves it at that. No more information is given, and I sure as hell don’t want to act overly interested. Lord knows Sophie is already on a rampage about me even looking at Tuck. She’d flip if she knew I was digging for information from one of his teammates.

  “Quarterbacks and running backs have to be close, right?” I strain my neck to look up at him.

  “We do, Blue, and we are. Tuck isn’t the number one running back in the country for no reason.”

  I just nod at the information and realize it may be the most positive thing I’ve ever heard about Tuck, and in an odd sense it pulls me even further into his orbit. It’s clear Noah is a great guy, and he just totally gave the green light on Tuck.

  “Ever been in?” He nods in the direction of the raging blue waters.

  It takes me a minute to process his words, as I was in a knee-deep mental affair with Tuck.

  “No. I’m just here to tan, not get eaten by a shark.”

  “C’mon, you have to put your toes in, Blue.”

  Noah nabs me by the elbow and guides me to the water, and I pull back every single step of the way.

  “You better take that little dress off or you’re going to be soaked,” he warns as we near the ocean.

  “Noah,” I try to yell through my laughter. “Stop, I don’t want to be shark poop in the morning.”

  He doesn’t quit tugging, so I pull my sundress off over my head and toss it back behind me. Noah’s grip slips on my wrist, and I try to bolt back to my safe place on my towel, but before I know it, his large hands are grabbing me around my waist and throwing me over his shoulder.