Blue

by H. J. Bellus

  “Noah,” I squeal.

  He doesn’t answer me, but simply begins jogging toward the aqua blue water. I don’t know how close we are or when I’ll be going in. I just see my towel and happy place moving further and further from my vision.

  “I can’t die.” I whap his ass with my palm.

  He laughs, and when he does, I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. It’s hard to focus on it since I’m bouncing up and down on Noah’s shoulder, but when I steady myself just enough I can make out a black hoodie and long pants running down the beach. Then I make direct eye contact with Tuck and my world stops when he pierces me with dark brown eyes. They seem nearly black as coal right now, and it pains me to the core.

  He doesn’t break our stare and has a stone cold mask covering his face. I reach my hand out to him as if a final silent gesture asking for him to accept me in his life, and that’s when my back hits the ice-cold water and I freefall down into the depths of the ocean with it hugging every single part of my body. With clenched eyes, I relive the moment Tuck kissed me and the way it made me feel. I let it all take over as I float below the surface for a few seconds. And when my breath nears the end and panic mode is about to hit because of lack of oxygen, I finally get it. Tuck makes me feel this with his simple presence. He sends my whole body into a panic mode just wanting and needing more, even during our dark, silent runs. He’s as powerful to me as an ocean is to Mother Nature.

  Popping up from the water, my hair mats to my face, and quickly I wipe it from my eyes while gasping for air and searching for Tuck, but he’s gone.

  “Blue, you okay?”

  I hear Noah, but can’t reply to him. My eyes continue to scan the beach for Tuck.

  “Blue.”

  I’m swooped from my treading water into Noah’s arms.

  “Hey, are you okay?” he asks again.

  I manage to nod and let him swim back to the beach with me.

  “I’m sorry, Blue.”

  “No, no. It’s not you at all. Trust me.” I sit in the sand, letting the waves run up and down my legs.

  “What was that?” He sits next to me, drawing lines into the soaked sand.

  “What?” I turn to face him.

  “You were on another planet, Blue. I thought you were seizing or going to drown. I feel like an ass.”

  “No, it wasn’t you.” I slap his thigh. “The water was just cold, and then I stayed under too long. I had to catch my breath.”

  I’m pretty sure Noah takes the bait and relaxes a bit. I take a handful of wet sand and throw it on his legs.

  “Payback.”

  He just chuckles at me and I keep a close eye on his hands in the sand, knowing he too has a competitive heart.

  “But did you die?” he asks with a crooked eyebrow.

  Another handful of sand hits his chest, and I nearly die from laughter at the shocked look on his face.

  “You little shit,” are the only three words that come from his mouth before he’s on his feet and dragging me back out in the water and trying to dunk me. I squeal and fight against it, but then again I’m under the water. We goof around for several minutes, then I let my body float peacefully among the mild waves before we hear Sophie’s voice and see her waving from my towel.

  “We better go.” Noah grabs me again, dragging me back to the beach to join our friends.

  With one foot out of the water and on the soaked sand, I feel myself wrapped up in Noah’s arms once again.

  “You’re such a sucker. I always win.” He flashes his pearly whites at me before tossing me back into the water, and right before I go under I see him run up to the towels. And the most ironic part of the whole situation is Noah just gave me the sweetest gift he could—another glimpse of that kiss.

  Chapter 10

  The first week of college kicked my trash. Learning the ropes of courses and where everything was on campus about put me under, but then add in cheer practice, and my own workouts, plus my nightly runs, equals my ass thoroughly kicked. On the fourth day of college, I called my mom sobbing about the walk around campus and the lack of parking, and I’m pretty sure I ugly cried for about an hour to her, and I know most of the meltdown stemmed from sheer exhaustion. The next day a baby blue cruiser bike with a wire basket on the handlebars showed up for me, and I never wanted to lick a piece of metal so badly in my life. The bike is my lifesaver on campus, running from class to class.

  During my senior year of high school I completed my freshman year of prerequisites, so academically I’m in second year courses, but still considered a freshman. Now three weeks in, I’m adjusted with my bike and schedule, and the schoolwork is easy enough for me.

  I’ve seen Tuck every night while running, and lately he’s been staying closer to me while we complete our route. However, not a word is ever exchanged between us. Cheer practice has been great, and Stephie has actually stepped back and followed suit, which nearly made me choke from shock. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, the silence before the storm, and all sorts of warnings always flash through my mind when I’m around her. But I’m seriously starting to think she’s just miserable with herself.

  “Sophie, I’m going to the gym.”

  It’s a rare afternoon that she’s actually in the dorm room. Unlike me, when she’s not doing homework or working out, she’s sleeping. I swear she and Lane must fuck all night, every night. I take every moment I can to try and encourage her to get more involved in cheer and less in Lane, or at least her academics, but she never takes the bait.

  “Naw, I’m going to take a nap, then I have class.”

  “You should really get your lazy ass up.”

  “Worry about yourself.”

  It’s the same response I get every time.

  “Okay, bye.”

  I don’t feel so badass driving my bike to the sports gym and then back to the dorm, so I always walk, even though it’s a good mile or two with rolling hills to straight up mountains. The walk is one hell of a workout itself. I’ve found the best time to access this gym is in my spare time in the afternoon. It’s after my last class of the day and before cheer practice. I love and hate the gym. I love running so much I tend to get very lean and always need to tone my muscles.

  When I finally arrive, a sheen of sweat covers my forehead and my water bottle is already empty while my bladder is full. As soon as I open the gym door the noise level is extremely loud when it’s usually a dull roar.

  I bolt for the bathroom to drain and refill. Sprinting around the corner, I run into someone. I was so preoccupied doing the pee-pee dance I wasn’t paying a lick of attention. I bounce back hard from the collision, dropping my gym bag and water bottle to the ground. A hand catches my wrist, helping me steady myself, and when the blur of the clash comes to a halt, Tuck is holding me to his sweaty chest.

  “Fuck, Blue,” he says breathlessly, “I just about steamrolled your ass.”

  “I have to pee.” It comes out as a squeak as my cheek is pressed against his dampened white t-shirt.

  It’s evident he’s in the middle of a grueling workout as his heart throttles against his chest and I can feel the blood pumping through his veins at a rapid rate, but I still don’t move. Moments go by as he holds me to his chest, but then icy reality sets in and he lets go, stepping back with caution and making sure I’m okay. He bends over and picks up my water bottle, and when he does, I see Noah watching the whole exchange.

  “Here.” He hands me the green Gatorade bottle. I make sure my fingers brush against Tuck’s as I grab it. He then hands me my bag and I do the same thing, grasping for as much contact as possible.

  “Watch where you’re going next time, Blue,” he growls and walks around me.

  I’m shameless and watch him go, enjoying the view of his long gym shorts riding on his hips and the sweat soaked long sleeve white t-shirt outlining each one of his hard muscles. I force myself into the bathroom, then find a locker for my stuff, and have to talk myself into actually g
oing to work out.

  Working on my mental toughness, I open the door with my ear buds already in and playlist ready to go. The gal at the check-in desk stops me, so I pull out one ear bud.

  “Some of the starters are here for the team. It may be crowded.”

  “Thanks.” I try to be polite, but really want to respond with, “No shit, Sherlock.”

  Only focusing on my phone and the lifting workout displayed on the screen, I get right to work. I asked Trainer Jay to set up something for me to keep me nice and toned. I had to beg, plead, and kiss his ass for it. He’s always worried about me pushing myself too hard. Thank the lord he doesn’t know I run at night as well. He’d die and then kick my ass for being out after dark.

  It’s an arm day, and I cringe when I see that’s the part of the gym Tuck and his teammates are occupying, so I decide to skip arm day and go for the leg machines. I’m here dressed and ready to go, so there’s no way I’m about to leave now. I catch a glimpse of Tuck spotting Noah out of the corner of my eye, but see his attention is more on me than Noah. I smile at him and shake my head. My knees buckle when he actually grins back at me.

  Noah has become one of my best friends. Sad, but true, I know. The gorgeous quarterback, and he’s just a friend. We study together when we have time and have made a few more trips to the beach. Not one romantic exchange, and I am fine with that, and Noah seems okay with it as well.

  I begin a quick warm-up jog on the treadmill and groan when I see Captain Asshat walk into the gym. I have no idea who the guy is, but he’s a dick and I’ve always distanced myself from him. I think he’s a soccer player, but he’s a puke, and of course he heads my way to start his workout, probably avoiding the mass of football players.

  I’m not sure what it is about him that intimidates me. Maybe it’s the glares he sends other females training in the gym, or that one time he bitched out another person for not placing the weights back where they belong. He gives me tingles, and they’re not the right type of tingles. More like stranger danger tingles.

  I’ve got this. Avoid staring at Tuck and ignore asshat, do your forty-five minute workout, and then head back to the dorm. I turn up my Kid Rock and go about killing it. Finishing my warm-up, I make my way to each leg machine, doing my sets and pushing the limits on the weights I add. When I stand from the leg press bench, sweat rolls off me, I get light-heated for popping up so quickly, and my legs feel like rubber.

  It’s pure satisfaction knowing I’m pushing my body to be better. Before I have the chance to grab the towel and spray bottle to wipe down the machine, I’m shoved from the back, sailing me into a stand of free weights. My face slams down into them and I feel the sting of the unforgiving iron.

  “Watch where the fuck you’re going.” I hear a voice, but my head is still adjusting to what the hell just happened. “You think you can just pop your pretty blonde ass up anywhere?”

  A warm liquid runs down the side of my chin and I immediately taste blood in my mouth. When I’m finally able to stand up and turn around, the last thing I see is a blur of Tuck and flash of Noah chasing behind him. Chaos breaks out in the gym as Tuck has the man pinned to the ground and hammers him in the face while growling every single foul word as he lets his fist fly.

  Noah and a couple other teammates try pulling Tuck off the man, but their attempt is useless. The back of my heels hit the rack behind me while my palms spread across the same iron weights my face smacked into earlier as I stare.

  “Tuck,” I scream. “Tuck, stop.”

  My voice finally catches his attention and he looks up in my direction.

  “Stop,” I plead again, and it knocks Tuck off guard and gives Noah and another man the opportunity they need to pull Tuck off of the man, and to no surprise it’s asshat. Campus security rushes in along with some football coaches, and shortly followed by Jay. They surround the man on the ground and listen to the manager of the gym, and it all still seems hazy to me. My body has remained frozen on the weights trying to process everything that just happened.

  Was I in his way? Did he push me? Did I pass out again?

  “Blue.”

  I look up into midnight black eyes as Tuck rests his forehead on mine and places a hand on the small of back and tugs me into him. I feel the pad of his thumb try to brush away the blood, then he just holds it there to stop the bleeding. His touch and his voice cause me to cry, and it shocks me, but I can’t help it, and then my body begins to tremble.

  “What happened?” I ask.

  “Do you know him?”

  “I’ve been working out here and I’ve seen him, but avoid him.”

  “He came up right behind you and shoved you.”

  “Why?”

  Tuck places his lips on my forehead, leaving a light and sweet kiss on my skin.

  “I don’t know.” He shakes his head and I relish the feel of his lips.

  “Blue.” Jay breaks between us with no apologies. “God damn, child, you’re always pushing the limits and your damn body.” He guides me to a bench to sit down. “We’re going to the hospital.”

  “No.” I sit up and look at my face in the mirror. “It’s a split lip and a bruised cheek. I’m fine.”

  “Hospital,” Tuck barks out behind Jay.

  “Tuck, over here now.” I look in the direction of the voice to see a mean-ass guy who seems to be extremely pissed off.

  “At least your coach is nicer than his. That boy’s gonna get his ass ripped.” Jay examines my face further; I can feel his breath on my cheeks as he talks.

  “Who?” I ask.

  “That guy friend of yours who was all up in your business when I got here.”

  “Tuck?”

  “Yeah, Tuck.”

  “But why?”

  “He has bloody knuckles and that guy on the ground has a bloody face.”

  “But that guy pushed me and he’s a dick.” My voice is shaky but comes out louder than I intended, and it catches the attention of Tuck’s coach.

  I bolt upright and feel the pain in my cheek tingle and the side of my lip swell. Jay tries to hold me back, but can’t.

  “Excuse me, Tuck helped me. He shouldn’t be in trouble.”

  The man tugs down on his visor and stares me down, but he has no idea that mean coach face does nothing to me or my courage.

  “What happened to your face, young lady?” he asks with his intimidating stare.

  “That man pushed me to the ground for no reason, and my face caught the iron rack.” Then I find a little courage and place my hands on my hips. “And my name is not young lady, for your information. It’s Blue Williams, head cheerleader for squad C. Tuck saved me and shouldn’t be in trouble.”

  The last part may be a teeny-tiny white lie, because I think the asshole wasn’t going to do anything besides push me, but oh well. The gym manager breaks into the crowd.

  “She’s right. I’ll handle the situation from here with Dominic.” He points to the ground where the man with a bloody face is now sitting up. Both of his eyes are already swollen shut. “Coaches, do what you need to.”

  “You’re going to the hospital.”

  My head swings back to Tuck’s coach.

  “Excuse me?” I counter.

  “You’re going to the hospital to get checked out.” He doesn’t back down on the tough guy act. “Your face is swollen and you’re still bleeding from your lip.”

  I take a step in. “My father is the top plastic surgeon in Colorado, and as soon as my ass ends up in an ER he’ll be on the prowl. I may be a cheerleader,” I use my hands to air quote cheerleader, “but I’m not fragile nor a victim.”

  I don’t wait for his response, Jay’s, or Tucks before I spin on my heels and head straight back to the locker room on my now rubbery, shaking legs. An odd combination of adrenaline, anger, and admiration swirl around my head, and I surrender to a full meltdown as I let my body sink down the chilled slate gray lockers until I’m curled up on the ground. The tears roll down my knees as I pu
ll my body tighter into a ball and cry, allowing all my frustration to leave my body. I’m not sure how long I’m on the floor sobbing before all my tears dry up and I’m just left with swollen eyes and a severe headache from the freak-out.

  “Blue.”

  I recognize Tuck’s voice from the entrance of the locker room, but I don’t answer him.

  “I’m coming in.”

  If I had the energy to roll my eyes I would, but I don’t. The next thing I hear is footsteps, and when I look up he’s towering above me and the butterflies spark up in my belly. Even in the lowest part of my life, the man seems to be able to turn me on somehow.

  I hear the cracking of his knees as he squats down to come face to face with me.

  “Your trainer is worried about you. Says you’re pushing yourself too hard.”

  He stares at me and I want more than anything to light the motherfucker up and let him know it’s all because of him. If Tuck would just give me an evening or two to satisfy the hunger I have for him, I might not be so hell-bent on working him out of my system. But instead I shrug, not willing to share with the man who will give me nothing in return.

  “He said no practice tonight. I’m taking you home.”

  I watch as he eyes the open locker next to me, then grabs my bag and throws my water bottle in it.

  “I can walk. I just need a few minutes.” Digging my heels into the speckled tile floor, I slide my body back up the lockers and don’t miss the fact Tuck’s eyes seem to drink in my every move.

  “You’re not walking home.”

  I step right up into Tuck’s face and tap his chest with my finger. “You do not have the right to tell me anything when you have done nothing but treat me like dirt.”

  I get even more pissed off when my tears come back. I know it’s a surefire sign that I’m beyond pissed, but it’s also a sign of weakness. Tuck ignores my words as he throws me over his shoulder. I begin to panic and beat on his back, calling him all sorts of colorful words, but when he steps out into the gym I see a crowd. Instantly I shut my mouth, not wanting to cause a scene. A stout running back packing a girl over his shoulder while carrying her gym bag is scene enough. I don’t need my added screaming.