Memento Mori

by Lexi Blake

Heather moved out of the kitchen, joining her in the living room. “You don’t think he rolled you. He wouldn’t.”

  Oh, but she’d learned that even the sweetest faces could hide opportunistic assholes. There it was. She winced. She’d zipped it up the night before but it was open now. “Someone went through my bag. Damn it. I’m such an idiot.”

  “What’s missing?” Heather knelt down beside her.

  She quickly went through the whole bag. She didn’t have much in it. Keys. A brush. Her wallet. All her credit cards were in there, and so was the ten dollars and twenty cents she’d had on her last night. Her cell phone was there. “He didn’t take anything. I wonder if he saw how little cash I had and took pity on me.”

  “Or you forgot you left it open and he didn’t touch it,” Heather offered.

  But she was sure of that. She remembered zipping it up after she’d put her keys in there. She stood. Still, it wouldn’t do to argue with Heather. It only made her look even more like a fool, and she felt that enough. “Maybe so. Anyway, what are you doing here? Do you need something?”

  He was gone and he hadn’t even left her a note. At least Matt had written her a note when he’d left.

  God, she had to stop that. She’d slept with the wrong man. At least this time she hadn’t married the asshole and handed over everything she had to him. She just wouldn’t learn.

  “I came by because Ty said we’ve got a meeting with a big client,” Heather explained, looking at her like she wanted to get back to the Jax subject.

  She couldn’t let that happen. If she did, she might break down. She wasn’t going to cry over a one-night stand. No way. He’d gotten what he wanted. She’d been willing to do anything he wanted to her sexually. She’d been compliant, and that had likely been his point. She’d thought he was awkward, but he’d turned out to be a master manipulator. Was he pissed off that she hadn’t had anything valuable to steal?

  Anger was better than sorrow. Anger felt good.

  “What client?”

  “It’s the film crew I told you about.”

  “Yes, I met one of them. A guy named Ezra,” she replied. She was surprised they wanted to talk to her.

  “They need a guide,” Heather explained. “Ty set up a meeting and called Andy and me. I said I would get you on my way into the office. It’s a lot of money, according to Ty. They want two units, one guide a piece full time for a week or two.”

  That would cost a fortune. That kind of money would let them buy some winter equipment for the upcoming season. “What’s the catch?”

  She shrugged, moving back into the kitchen. “None that I know of. The meeting’s in an hour. We’re supposed to meet with the production crew. If you don’t think we can handle it, I’ll call and have him cancel. They can use High Country Adventures.”

  “I thought that’s who they would go with.” High Country was a much bigger firm located in Del Norte. They would be better equipped to handle a big venture.

  She poured a second mug. “According to Ty, they want us.” Heather passed it to her. “Although they’re going to have to go without me. I have to run into town. My brother needs me to wire him some cash.”

  She hadn’t known Heather had a brother. “Sure. We can handle the meeting. I’ll let you know how it turns out.”

  Jax worked security, not for the film crew. Although that had likely been a lie, too. He and his brother were con artists. They had likely moved on to a more target-rich environment. Had he waited until she’d gone to sleep, looked around for something to steal, and then called his brother to pick him up? She was damn lucky he hadn’t taken the Jeep.

  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  “There might be an explanation.” Heather stared at her with sympathy. “You never know what’s going on in a person’s head. Sometimes circumstances make things appear worse than they are. He might have started off the night planning on staying and something happened to Tucker.”

  “How was Tucker when you left him?” She and Jax had left Trio around eleven, leaving his brother and Heather still talking.

  Heather’s mouth twisted in a grimace and she had her answer even before the words came from her friend’s mouth. “He was fine. Like I said, a little on the crazy side, but sweet enough.”

  “So you didn’t even think about sleeping with him?”

  “Ew. No.” Heather seemed taken aback by the thought. “I mean he’s attractive enough, but he’s not my type. I’ll be honest, after my husband left me I made a couple of bad, self-destructive choices. I’m not looking for a lover. I’m trying to find myself for now. The Tuckers of the world need to find another love goddess.” She nodded. “He actually called me that.”

  The brothers seemed to have selected an awkward-nerd vibe to reel their marks in. “It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t matter. You should go and deal with your brother and I’ll get ready for the meeting.”

  “Wow, he did a number on you.” Heather set her mug down. “River, you can’t blame yourself.”

  “I’m not. I blame him. But like I said, it doesn’t matter. We need to get moving.” She wanted to be alone. It wasn’t fair to take it out on Heather, but she’d been the reason River had gone to Trio in the first place. She could be waking up after an uneventful night to the exciting news that they might land a big gig. As it was, she couldn’t get excited about the job. She could only think about how stupid she’d been to listen to him.

  I want to put my mouth all over your body. But more than I want that, I want you to like me.

  Sure he did. He’d sized her up and figured out exactly how to take her down.

  A sad expression took over her friend’s face. “I wish I believed that. Don’t hate me, River. I wanted to see you smile, and he did make you smile. I’ll let you alone but if you need me, call me. I’ll be there. I want to be your friend, but you have to let me in.”

  “I appreciate it.” But she’d let too many people in and they’d fucked her over. It was time to start being smart. “I’ll call you and let you know how the meeting went.”

  Work. She would focus on work. What happened last night meant nothing. It was sex and that was all. She should thank him for showing her how good it could be.

  It had felt like more than sex. It had felt like connection, like communion, like for once someone truly understood her.

  And that was why she failed. She was getting rid of all the romantic bullshit in her life.

  “Bye.” Heather walked out, her disappointment obvious.

  She was alone and that was a good thing.

  She heard Heather’s SUV pull away.

  Yes, alone was good.

  * * * *

  Jax came awake slowly, consciousness coming back in bits. His first thought was complete terror. His head wasn’t clear. He tried to stay still, but the minute he moved he felt oddly disconnected from his body. Odd? It wasn’t odd to him. How many times had he woken up trying desperately to find his balance because he’d been used to test some drug?

  Had it been a dream? The small freedom he’d had? Was he back in the lab? If he opened his eyes would he see that bright light that meant he’d been recycled again? How many times had he gone through it? How many times had she plunged that needle into his arm and erased all that he was?

  She wasn’t going to take River away from him. No. She wouldn’t take that night away, wouldn’t make it blink out of existence like it hadn’t happened. He punched out, determined to catch anyone who would try to put that needle in his arm. He could remember River. It was foggy, but he knew it had been real. She’d cuddled close to him, letting him hold her, letting him be her lover, her man.

  “I can’t handle this drama, man,” a familiar voice said. “We didn’t bring Ariel with us, why?”

  “Robert didn’t want her in danger,” another voice said. Fain.

  “I’m too old for this shit.” Taggart was definitely the other voice.

  His head was so foggy. What had happened? One minute he’d been happy and w
arm, with her clutched close to him, and the next he’d been here, fighting his way back to consciousness.

  “You’re definitely too old for rotgut whiskey,” Fain was saying.

  “I told you. It was supposed to keep the aliens away. I’ll take it over the beet juice I had to drink any day of the week. Hughes is completely insane, and I like him. He’s my new favorite person,” Taggart replied.

  Jax’s stomach rolled and he stayed still, not wanting to puke.

  “Is he the real Hughes? Fuck, I thought he was a myth, man,” Fain continued. Why couldn’t they have this conversation elsewhere? “He’s so classified I couldn’t get his records even when I had clearance. Do you think he knows about the rumors? About the lieutenant? I have to admit. I see a resemblance.”

  He groaned as he remembered what had happened. It came back to him in flashes. Tucker had tried to talk him into coming back to the cabin and then Dante… Fucking Dante. He punched out as if the fucker was here.

  “Chill out, Jax. You’re safe and shit, though you are in trouble. I wish we had a doghouse I could put you in. I distinctly remember telling you not to do stupid shit.” Taggart stood over him. “Though apparently all the puppies were dumb last night. I did not tell Dante to use that cocktail on you. It was there in case your date for the night turned out to be an Agency plant. We’ve heard a rumor there’s at least one in town, and he or she has been in place for a while. They know we’re going to try to find McDonald’s research.”

  “I told you it could be a trap.” Fain looked down at him. “You okay? That dosage shouldn’t have made you sick. I can call Tucker in, or there’s a doc in town we can get.”

  He sat up. He was in his room but it looked like Tucker had already cleared out. Taggart sat on the second bed.

  “I’m fine.” If they were both here, it was likely time for punishment. It was best to get that over with. “Where do you want me?”

  They would do whatever they were going to do and then he would start planning. He would get away, but he needed to be smart. He needed to talk to River and make sure she would go with him. It would take some time, but he could get them new IDs. He could find a way to get his hands on some cash and they could run. He would tell her everything. He wouldn’t lie to her again. But he had to be patient. The good news was his patience meant he would have time to plan Dante’s brutal murder.

  But first he would take his punishment.

  “Why does he have that look on his face?” Fain leaned against the desk in the room. “Look, man, you can’t kill Dante. I know he’s an asshole, but he’s been through a lot. You should know. I promise I’m going to let him know that if he pulls something like this again, I’ll send him straight back to Damon, who’ll find him a place by himself.”

  “He thinks we’re going to hurt him now,” Taggart said quietly, those icy blue eyes regarding him solemnly. “He doesn’t trust us and he might never.”

  “Why would we hurt him?” Fain asked before shaking his head. “I’m not McDonald, man. I did send Tucker and Dante to get you, but I did it because I got word about the Agency plant. Hate me all you like but I did it for your protection. There’s no punishment except to ask you not to kill Dante.”

  “And the only place I want you is in the shower because, dude, you smell like sex. We have a meeting soon,” Taggart said, not unkindly. “Come downstairs because the mayor thinks he’s found someone for us to hire to handle the walk in the woods. The mayor, sheriff, and a man named Stef Talbot are coming in to brief us about the town and the company we’re working with. You’re going to run point with them. And not killing Dante isn’t your only punishment. Nell Flanders made breakfast. Yep. It’s tofu, and we’re not allowed to not eat it or Henry will kill us. He’s incredibly good at internal decapitation so I’m going to give it a try. I already told Charlie when I get home she’s to greet me with three pounds of bacon.”

  Jax looked back and forth between them, trying to figure out if they were lying to him. Maybe they were into mind games and they would let him get comfortable before pulling the rug out from under him. “No punishment?”

  “Did you hear the part about the tofu?” Taggart asked. “And I’m pretty sure Robert used all the hot water in the house, so you’re in for a few chilly moments.”

  He wasn’t about to get his ass kicked. He could handle the shower. “I want to see her again.”

  He was pushing his luck.

  Fain sighed. “I understand, and if we can make that happen, we will. Take your shower and after the meeting we’ll have a talk about this woman of yours. We have to vet her.”

  He nodded. He got the need to check into the background of anyone coming into the group. It was something he would have done anyway because he wanted to know more about her. And he definitely wanted to know more about her ex-husband. There was more to the story. He could feel it. She said she lost everything in the divorce, but she’d been lying. Or rather hedging. There was something she wasn’t telling him, and he bet he could figure it out.

  “Jax, I would never punish you physically,” Fain said quietly.

  “I might punch you if you annoy me,” Taggart admitted. “But I’ll also expect you to punch back. Not today, though. Seriously, that whiskey had something else in it. I need some coffee. Surely there’s some coffee that harmed no indigenous peoples around here somewhere. See you guys downstairs in half an hour.”

  Taggart put a hand to his head and found his way out.

  “You’re safe. Well, safe from us. None of us is safe from the Agency or the Collective or any number of assholes who are after us,” Fain said with a weary sigh.

  It was easy to forget how much Fain had given up to lead them out into the world. Ezra Fain had been the Agency’s golden boy at one point in time. But he’d been forced to make a choice: bring in the men McDonald had experimented on so the Agency could find out more about her work or keep them safe. He’d been disavowed for his choice.

  “Thank you, Ezra. Thank you for helping us.” He was fairly certain no one had said that to him. Sometimes he thought they were still too mired in their own misery to see the good things that could happen to them.

  Fain’s stare found the window, looking out as he spoke. “I know what can happen when the Agency takes control of things they don’t understand. Levi Green is an asshole looking to move up, but there are people in the CIA who mean well. That’s what I’ve learned over the years. You can mean well and it still falls apart, especially if you don’t listen to the people around you. Even when you’re in the middle of the fight, you can’t see all the possible outcomes. I thought about it, you know.”

  “Thought about turning us in?”

  “Over would be a better word,” he replied. “After what happened in Mexico, I sat down and weighed the pros and cons.”

  He’d read about the operation in Mexico. Levi Green had tried to use Kayla Summers as a path to get into The Garden and to gain access to the Lost Boys. Kayla was former CIA. Up until a few months before, she’d worked at McKay-Taggart and Knight and she’d been a good friend to them all. She’d been sent to spy on a Hollywood star who supposedly had connections to a drug lord. It had all been a setup and Ezra had a hand in saving her. Now she was married to the same star she’d been investigating and Ezra was on the outside. And Levi Green had proven he could weather any storm.

  “There was a huge fight at the Agency about how to handle you,” Ezra continued. “Some wanted to bring you in, protect you, try to figure out who you are, and if we couldn’t, train you and give you new lives as operatives.”

  Because they would likely make excellent operatives. They’d been trained to obey. They didn’t have loyalties to anyone but themselves. It was pretty much what Taggart was doing. “And the other faction?”

  “Would study you. I worried you would end up in a place like The Ranch. They shut down one site to keep an unfriendly president from discovering it, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t others. The Ranch was simply on the
books. There are black ops sites out there that are so dark they’re rumors even to operatives. That’s why I made the decision I did. That’s why I walked away. I fought with some people I respect. Hell, I broke with them over this, but I thought they were being naïve.”

  How much had Ezra given up? “Were you friends with Levi Green?”

  He shrugged. “We came up through the ranks together. He’s not the naïve one, Jax. He knows exactly what he’s doing. Somewhere along the way, he started to hate me. I’m not sure why since I’m the one who did everything wrong. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is we’re safe for now, and we keep our eyes open. They’ll come for us at some point. We have to be ready. See you downstairs.”

  He turned and walked out

  And Jax got up and headed to the shower, a bit of his balance restored. He didn’t have to run. He did have to find a way to get to River and explain what had happened. How did he explain? Tucker had an emergency. That would work.

  He could protect her. He could still see her. It was all he could ask for right now.

  But damn that water was cold.

  * * * *

  He was still thinking about River an hour later as he sat at the big dining room table. He’d been fed a tofu scramble by Nell Flanders and he hadn’t hated it. He’d noticed that River hadn’t eaten meat the night before. She’d carefully picked her way around the bacon on the fries, and when they’d ordered dinner, she’d had the black bean burger. He could give the veggie stuff a try. He’d been rewarded with the glowiest smile from Henry’s wife when he’d praised her cooking. And Henry hadn’t looked like he wanted to punch someone. Nell had even given him a hug before she’d left because she didn’t want to know anything that might violate someone’s human rights. That was when Henry had gone back to frowning.

  “Jax, this is Rafe Kincaid.” Taggart introduced him to a tall, dark-haired man in slacks and a button down. “He’s the mayor of Bliss. Rafe, this is Jax Seaborne and Robert McClellan. They’re going to be running the two teams searching for the site.”