Unbearable

by Alaska Angelini

  He stepped forward and I didn’t think as I threw my weight into him. There was barely a budge, but I managed to slip through the small opening. I wasn’t fast enough. He pulled me into his chest and I turned toward him, using the soap to make us slippery. Unfortunately, just like when he touched me before, tingling flared in every inch of my being. I hated it, but the arousal was undeniable.

  “Let go of me.” I twisted violently in his arms, sliding even more in the process. It was working. Aside from crushing me in his arms, he couldn’t keep a steady grip.

  “I have to admit, this is a first,” he said, grunting as my breasts glided against his abs. I threw down my weight, holding my arms straight in the air. For the briefest moment, I was free, but as soon as I spun to the door, he was back on me, grabbing me from behind. “I’m not sure what you thought to gain by doing this, slave, but I have to admit,” his breath brushed along my neck, “this is really turning me on.”

  And it was. I could feel the evidence grinding into my lower back as I tried to reach behind to claw at his face.

  “I’m not surprised,” I said lowly, pushing against his arms harder. “I intend to get out of this house. Why can’t you just set me free? I’ll pay you, if its money you want.” Given what I was surrounded with, I doubted that was the case. And I truthfully wouldn’t give this bastard a dime. Freedom was my main focus and I was about ready to do anything to get it. Anything but the one thing he probably wanted.

  “You’re staying.” The strain in his voice as I fought was satisfying. If I could get loose again, I knew I could make a run for it and that would be even better.

  My weight against the lack of friction seemed to work the best. I lifted my legs, moving the slightest amount.

  “God dammit,” he breathed out. Pain stung my scalp as he gripped and his other arm wrapped around my waist, lifting my feet off the ground, only to embed his fingers deeper into my hair so that my back was arched. Wildly, I grasped the doorframe as he spun us back inside the restroom. With a jerk, he broke my grip. “Your ass is mine once I get us clean. You’ve made such a mess.”

  I kicked my legs, hoping it would help. It only caused his arm to lock on even tighter.

  “Nothing on me belongs to you.” My arms went out in front of me to guard against going back in the shower, but he spun us and opened it.

  “I think that’s debatable. Looks who has who at their mercy.” He paused outside of the glass door and moved my head to face the mirror. The reflection I saw left me frozen in shock of the erotic couple who were both full of passion for two different reasons. I’d never thought of myself as a small woman, but seeing how big and powerful the man behind me was, left me reacting in a way I knew wasn’t good. It didn’t help that something was happening from the pain he kept causing. I’d hurt on the inside for so long that the new sensations to my exterior left me subconsciously choosing between the two evils, and I knew which one I preferred. Even…enjoyed.

  “You like this,” he said, pulling me more to face him. He leaned forward, nipping at my lip and catching me by surprise. I sent my teeth snapping in his direction, even if it was a delayed reaction.

  “No. I hate it. I hate you. Let me leave. I don’t want to be here.”

  “Too bad. You want to die, I’m your man.”

  I shook my head, confused. “You’re trying to get me not to kill myself. Not help me to succeed at it.”

  “Says who? Just because I’m not going to let you kill yourself right now, you’ll have the option when I feel you’re ready.”

  My brain tried to process his words as he stepped into the shower and walked backwards until I was level with the entrance. Before I could grab the sides, he lowered me and jerked at my hair, placing me in the back. Trapped. The water was suddenly spraying over him and he reached down, tugging his pants open.

  “How long before you decide?” I turned my back to him, not wanting to see any more of his nude body. The fact that I was already affected was enough. Any more lust concerning him was unacceptable. What kind of dark shit did I harbor that would respond to this kind of treatment? What kind of twisted bitch was I?

  “Sorry, I don’t talk to the back of peoples’ heads.”

  My eyes shut, my annoyance making me want to attack him. I turned around, keeping myself closed off.

  “There. How long am I forced to stay here before you let me end this disaster of a life, once and for all?” Bitterness laced my words more than the aching I felt to get back with my family. This should have been a private affair. That option was no longer available and I couldn’t stand it.

  “Slave—”

  “My name is Diane,” I snapped.

  Gravity became nonexistent. I jerked my eyes open just as he slammed my back into the wall. His forearm benched under my ass as his other hand captured both of my wrists, pushing them into my chest.

  “You are the slave. I am the Master. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll reach your destination. Don’t get me wrong, I could do this, right here, for as long as it takes. But if you don’t want to, you’ll comply with my orders. Now say, yes, Master, and I’ll put you down.”

  The slight snarl was out of character from the constant suffocating attraction he threw my way. Fear sparked, showing me that I really didn’t know him at all. “Say it.” Harder, he pushed between my breasts, until I thought for sure my chest would cave in.

  “Yes…” As we stared at each other, I searched for the right thing to do. A groan surfaced, and I knew I couldn’t do it. Couldn’t bend to the will of a man like him. It went against everything I held inside. He was a bully and I didn’t like his threats. Giving into them gave him power.

  “It’s only one word. Say it, slave.” The top part of his body leaned in closer and I turned away, torn by getting what I wanted more than anything, or going with what I felt was right.

  “You’re not my master. I will call you by your name, but I will not give you a title that grants you ownership over me. For one, you don’t deserve it. Secondly, you sure as fuck haven’t earned it,” I said, wheezing my response through struggling lungs.

  Cautiously, I glanced back, almost afraid to see what was coming. The beating of my life? A rape in the making? Meeting his blue eyes, I could have stayed on that train of thought and imagined the worse. Although stoic, the vibe he sent off as his gaze stayed fixated on my face, left me too scared to move.

  “So be it.” The arm supporting my ass disappeared and had it not been for the pressure pushing into my chest, I would have fallen. He reached out, turning the nozzle and adjusting the showerhead until it poured out like a faucet. With speed that left me flinching a little too late, his free hand shot back to my hair and he drug me forward, emerging me under ice cold water, drowning me under the thick stream.

  A yell involuntarily exploded from my mouth at the frigid moisture that poured over my face and head. Water filled my mouth and I choked, pushing against the wall in front of me. He pulled back, moving inches away as he let out a roar that overpowered my coughs.

  “I’m your Master and you’ll say it.”

  Again, iciness took over. This time, I was able to catch my breath and hold it even though it nearly disappeared at the shock of the temperature difference. Seconds went by and burning took over my lungs while I tried reaching back to claw at his hands. Even as I pushed back, I still wasn’t able to move from the assault of the downpour.

  “Say it!”

  I was pulled back and I inhaled deeply.

  “No,” I managed, between breaths.

  “You are so damn stubborn.” The water was slammed off. “You will call me Master before the night is over with. If you don’t,” he pushed the door open, pulling me out, and marching me into his room, “I’ll make you, in the only way you seem to respond.”

  Multiple monitors with views of what looked to be ten different rooms had my jaw dropping. I barely even heard his threat as I stopped on the view of the bed he had had me restrained to.


  The scene disappeared as he pulled me to his bed. My teeth chattered, but I didn’t feel the cold. Just the fear from the thick restraints attached to the headboard. These weren’t handcuffs, but actual leather cuffs like the ones I had on my feet before.

  “No!” I jerked, only to be slammed to the mattress while his body covered mine.

  “Oh, yes,” he gritted through his teeth.

  My hand was lifted, even though I put everything into not allowing it. The other was restrained, just as easily. I was stretched so wide across the king sized mattress, I couldn’t have extended any more.

  “Why are you doing this?” I sobbed, unable to hide the desperation that was bubbling over from where I tried to keep it locked away.

  A quick narrowing of his eyes disappeared behind a soft expression and he pushed back the wet hair that was stuck to my cheek. “Because I can. Tell me. If you had to pick one right now, would you choose to die here in this house, or leave and be forced to live another forty years in the real world?”

  There was no hesitation when it came to the answer. “I’d choose to die. No matter where it was. If,” I hurried out, “I had to choose. Which, I don’t.”

  “You can’t see anything good coming out of forty years? That’s a lifetime of yours, plus almost another decade. How could a single thing worth living for not come by then?”

  I didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t even want to consider it. “My life ended when my husband and child died. What part of that are you not getting? And screw whatever you have planned for me. Kill me now, or let me. Why wait it out? I told you I want to die. I’m not going to change my mind. All of these tests are for nothing. Please,” I said, staring deep into his eyes. “I’m begging you. Have I not suffered enough?”

  Real pain came to his features as he started tracing his fingertips over my cheek. “Suffering comes in many forms. Some may kill us inside, but it strengthens us even more than the damage it causes. I feel your pain, slave, as if it were my own all over again. I’m sorry, but death will not find you tonight. Not in my arms. Not yet.”

  With that, he stood, walking over to the closet. What did he mean, as if it were his own all over again? Had he lost someone? Contemplated suicide and not gone through with it? The man whose back was to me suddenly started seeming different. Intriguing. What did he hope to gain, making me prove I deserved to end my life? My mind raced while I watched him shuffle through something on the top shelf. The muscles in his thighs flexed as he leaned forward a little and reached to the very back. Slowly, I moved my gaze up to his firm ass, until I reached the thick muscles in his back and shoulders. Fire rolled from my skin and I involuntarily let out a sound, repulsed with myself. What was I doing? I softened just the smallest amount and now I was checking him out?

  A box fell to the ground, followed by him cursing. As he leaned over and picked it up, blood began leaking from the bottom of the wet bandage, which caught his attention at the same time it did mine. Another curse filled the space between us and he shoved the box up to the top and walked over by the monitors. The look thrown my way was a mix of annoyance and something that went beyond my comprehension.

  “You are so lucky right now. You don’t even know.” He grabbed some gauze, placing it down as he took off the soiled bandage.”

  “Jesus.” My mouth parted at how deep it looked, even from this distance. “You need to apply pressure and stop the bleeding. And stitches. You definitely need those.”

  “What do you expect me to do? Leave you and go to the hospital to get sewn up? No. I’ll do it later, myself.”

  I gritted my teeth. “If you let me out of these restraints, I’ll do it.”

  He laughed. “Like I’m letting you get anywhere near me with a needle. You’ll probably try to poke my eye out with the damn thing.”

  “Tempting, yes, but I’m not stupid to think it’s going to kill you and set me free. It’s a waste of my time. I just want these damn things off so I can sleep peacefully tonight. That’s all.”

  Wearily, he lowered his lids. “You went to nursing school before you met your husband.”

  It wasn’t a question. It was evident he knew.

  “Yes. I worked three jobs around my classes, but I managed to finish. Then I found that it wasn’t for me. That’s when I took up writing. It was my calling.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Try telling the truth, slave. You couldn’t stand the death that surrounded you.”

  If only I could erase the memories. “I thought working with children with cancer would be rewarding. To help them and see them come back. You’re right. We seemed to lose more than we saved. It tore me apart.” I turned away from him, looking back at the closet, but not seeing it. Those children had haunted me for years after I switched professions. “Don’t get me wrong. The ones that did make it…it was the best feeling in the world to see them get better and leave. I just couldn’t take seeing the others suffer when there was nothing I could do about it.”

  “You can’t stand to be powerless. That’s as clear as day.” The sound of tape had me looking up to see him tighten the bandage on his arm. So much for getting free. “Your personality is a bit challenging for me. You’ve been in control your whole life. That ends now. I’m taking it from you. For once, you’re going to let someone else lead and you’re going to follow. I know you’re not going to like it, but that’s too bad.”

  “You can’t get me to listen to you if I refuse.”

  A small growl left him. “I won’t let you deny me of what I want. As I said before, we have all the time in the world. The more you fight this, the longer you’ll be here. Think about that.”

  I closed my eyes, testing his words against what I felt. Could I just let go? See what came out of this? I’d be back with Ronnie and Caylee sooner.

  “What if I told you there can be freedom in submission?”

  Submission?

  The tape was fastened and laid down. He walked forward, each stride sending dominant waves my way. His nude form, so wide and defined had my breathing increasing. Not only from arousal, but how he affected the inner me. The true me.

  “Master?” I whispered. My mind had projected images of me and Ronnie sitting at the table so fast, I could barely make them out. When it came to sex, I wasn’t too experienced outside of my husband, but I could recall a conversation we had at the beginning of our relationship. He’d mentioned something about submission. About power exchange. Although, he put me more in the role of the person who had control.

  “Say it again,” he practically purred as he lowered his hands to my legs and held them down while he climbed higher on the mattress. My head turned, unable to stomach my reaction to how his body was responding to our conversation. His cock was so long and thick. Why did I have to be turned on by that fact?

  I cleared my throat while trying to draw my legs up so I could brace them against that perfect stomach and send him flying.

  “I wasn’t referring to you. I was thinking.” No matter how much I fought, I couldn’t move.

  “No, you were remembering. What about?” He moved more toward me, draping half of his body down my side and propping himself on his elbow next to me. The weight of his cock rested across the side of my stomach heavily, so warm and long. It was suddenly all I could feel.

  “Jesus, can you move over? I don’t see why you’re doing this. There’s no reason you have to be touching me at all. Or why we have to be naked. Just…” I pushed my feet into the mattress, using my weight to lift my hips. His thigh pushed down, bringing me back to the bed.

  Pain and pleasure flared over my clit as he slapped my pussy. I instantly clamped my legs, looking over at him shocked.

  “Stay still or I’ll do a lot more than that.” He lowered his head, resting it against my neck and breathing in deep. “You know, I haven’t had someone in my bed in months. It’ll be nice to know you’re right here. I won’t have to check on you all through the night. I can just turn over and there you’ll be.” He
yawned. “I think I like that.”

  “I don’t,” I said, under my breath.

  He lifted, long enough to pull the covers down from underneath us and then blanket us in them.

  “Lights out.” And just like that, everything turned off.

  “Lights on,” I said, keeping my face staring straight up. If I turned, we’d be nose to nose.

  He laughed. “It responds to my voice only, slave. Now, sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.” Tingling from his fingers traced down to my lower stomach. “Unless you’re not tired.”

  “Hands off.” I managed to move over an inch before he pulled me even closer than before, draping his thigh over mine. Again, all I could feel was his cock as it rested against the length of my side.

  “Not going to happen,” he whispered against my ear. “I’m going to be all over you tonight. You might even enjoy it if you let yourself.”

  My eyes squeezed shut as I waited for him to go lower. He didn’t. Within a few minutes, he was snoring and I could have slipped my leg out to kick him if I had wanted to be a bitch. Thing was, I didn’t want him to wake up. For the first time since I arrived, I felt myself grow heavy. Relaxed. Tomorrow, I’d get free. Or find something to finish myself off. I couldn’t do much more of this. The smallest change fluttered in the distance in my head and I couldn’t decipher what it was. Revenge? Curiosity to find out who he was? There were so many questions along with the anger associated with my situation. It left me flirting with hesitation. Which, in turn, made me want to kill myself even faster before the flame in the dark world I existed in grew even brighter.

  Chapter 5

  Master

  Aug 31st (Day 2)

  I woke up to screaming and the most heartbreaking pleas. But they weren’t to me. They were to Ronnie, my slave’s dead husband. I knew this was coming. Weeks of studying who she was, conversing with nurses, doctors, and even a woman from her safehouse, told me she had them every night.