“But…” Leena complained as Germaine pulled her across the seat.
Germaine slammed the door and Nataleigh drove away as quickly as possible. Two tears finally slid down her cheeks.
* * * *
Inside the noisy stadium, the players of both football teams were going through warm-up routines. A steady stream of patrons poured into the stands and settled onto the bleachers. Keelan stood on the sideline, chatting with the coach from the opposing team. Keelan glanced often at his players, which allowed him to keep track of who was coming into the bleachers.
When he saw Leena enter with Germaine right behind her, Keelan’s heartbeat quickened as he watched for Nataleigh to bring up the rear. But Nataleigh didn’t appear.
Where is she?
His muscles tensed. Where the hell was Nataleigh? Leena headed straight toward the railing of the bleachers, looking as though she were ready to murder someone.
What is going on here?
“Excuse me, Roy,” Keelan said to the other coach. “I need to speak with a couple of students of mine.”
“Sure thing,” Roy replied. “It was good talking to you, Keelan. Have a good game.”
Keelan nodded, murmuring for Roy to do the same, then walked toward the stands to meet Leena and Germaine. “Where’s Nataleigh?” he questioned as soon as the duo were within earshot.
“I need to speak with you, Coach,” Leena stated. “In private.”
“All right,” Keelan responded. “Come down to the end of the stands by the fence.”
At the designated spot, Keelan turned with a frown to face Leena and Germaine. “Where’s Nataleigh?” he repeated.
Germaine stared at a spot on the group and rocked nervously back and forth on the balls of his feet.
Leena took a deep breath, let it out slowly, then planted her hands on her hips.
“Coach Robinson,” she began,” I’m not speaking to you as a student to a teacher, but as a woman to a man. Have you got that?”
Keelan blinked in surprised, then nodded, realizing he’d be struck speechless.
“Good,” Leena said. “Now then, listen up. Nataleigh is my friend. She’s Germaine’s friend, too. She drove down here to tell us she was sick and couldn’t come to the game. Well, she isn’t sick. No way. She was working so hard at not crying, it just broke my heart. I figure that’s your fault, Coach. Nataleigh is really upset and you have to be the cause. If you two had a fight, then fix it, because a wonderful person like Nataleigh shouldn’t be sitting home alone crying her eyes out over a man. Not even a decent sort of man like yourself. Men just aren’t worth crying buckets over.”
“Hey,” Germaine complained. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Be quiet, Germaine,” she muttered. “Coach, if you lose Nataleigh because of something stupid you did, then you’re dumber than a box of rocks. It will be even more ridiculous than your living down here in the hood all these years when you didn’t even have to. When this football game is over, you’d best get yourself to Nataleigh’s apartment and get things right. There, I’ve had my say. Goodbye, Coach. Come on, Germaine.” Leena stomped away.
Germaine gave Keelan a weak smile, shrugged, then hurried after Leena.
Keelan shook his head slightly, then splayed one hand on his stomach, feeling as though he’d just been punched in the gut. Nataleigh was upset? She’d been struggling not to cry when she told Leena and Germaine she was too sick to attend the game? Crying because of him? What had he done to Nataleigh to cause her tears?
Think, Keelan.
Okay. They hadn’t talked much this week. Both of their schedules had been pretty busy. That quiet drive home last weekend probably hadn’t helped. Each of them had been completely lost in their own thoughts.
His thoughts had been centered on the maze of confusion in his mind. He had just discovered the truth of Nataleigh’s depth of feelings for him, knew she loved him. He’d still been scared spitless over the prospect of being loved, loving in return, getting married, having a family. He just didn’t know at that point that was what he wanted, didn’t have the answers to his multitude of questions. It hadn’t been until earlier today that he’d found his answers, knew he was in love with Nataleigh, knew he wanted, needed it all…a lifetime of love and laughter with Nataleigh Brown.
He was now emotionally squared away, on track and determined to win the battle of chipping away at Nataleigh’s wall of settling for less than she deserved to have, of believing that she alone was responsible for the financial obligation to her brother and sister.
For each brick in the stubborn wall that he destroyed, he’d replace it with dreams that could be his and Nataleigh’s reality. Marriage. Home. Babies in a musical, fuzzy bunny nursery. Forever. Together.
Yes.
Just great, he thought dryly. He was painting pretty pictures in his mind, instead of concentrating on the immediate problem at hand.
Why was Nataleigh crying?
The stern talking to by feisty Miss Leena was disturbing to say the least.
But then again…
Keelan narrowed his eyes in concentration.
Maybe…yes, this was beginning to make sense. Nataleigh’s tears were caused by the fact that she was in love with him. She wanted it all, just as much as he did. Nataleigh was crying because she couldn’t envision her hopes and dreams possibly coming true. The news flash that Nataleigh was crying was terrific!
The buzzer blared, causing Keelan to jerk in surprise and remember that he was at the football stadium and had a game to coach. He hurried his team off the field and toward the locker room. Once everyone was inside and settled, he stood in the center of the group.
“Okay, guys,” he said to the boys, “this one is going to be very tough. A lot depends on how badly you want it. There’s no doubt in my mind that a victory can be yours if you put everything you have into it.”
Listen to you own words, Keelan. The same held true for his entire future happiness with Nataleigh.
Chapter Twelve
The Carter Cowboys won the football game by a field goal, despite the less than inspired coaching on the part of Keelan. In the locker room after the victory, he apologized to his team for the penalty the team received when he signaled for a time-out when they had already used their allotted number.
“That’s okay,” Tyrone said. “We beat them, even though they made a touchdown off the spot advantage from the penalty. We figured, like, you know, you were thinking about your lady, seeing how she wasn’t at the game tonight and all.”
“Yes, well…um…” Keelan mumbled, before he cleared his throat. “Hit the showers.”
As he drove to Nataleigh’s apartment, Keelan shook his head in a combined gesture of amazement and bewilderment. He wondered if all teenagers were as savvy as those at Carter. Or were the streetwise kids more in tune to the adult world than the affluent, protected one’s from the other side of town? Leena, Germaine, the football team…hell, the whole school, for all he knew…were aware that Coach Robinson had relationship trouble with Nataleigh.
“Now that is embarrassing,” he muttered, with a snort of self-disgust.
In the next instant, Keelan took a deep breath and let it out slowly, puffing his cheeks. He had to shift mental gears. He was taking off his coaching hat and putting on his man-in-love hat. He was going to need his full concentration for the conversation he was about to have with Nataleigh.
What he said and Nataleigh’s reaction to his words would determine his—their—entire future. Man, what a daunting thought. What if he blew it? He just executed the lousiest job of coaching of his entire career. What if he royally messed up his confrontation with Nataleigh?
Knock it off, Keelan.
That was enough with the negative. He had to serve himself a dose of Nataleigh’s positive thinking. Nataleigh would listen, really hear, what he was saying to her. She’d agree to allow him to take over the financial obligation to her brother and sister. She’d accept his proposa
l of marriage and they’d live happily ever after.
The end.
“Have you got that, Ms. Brown?”
He stifled a sigh. This just had to work out.
* * * *
Nataleigh sat curled up in the corner of the couch, wearing a pink flannel nightgown her mother had sewn for Nataleigh’s Christmas present the previous year. She was watching The Lake House, allowing herself to cry buckets during the touching scenes of the movie. She was a masochist, she supposed, dabbing at her red nose with a tissue. The couple in the movie were going to have a happy ending their relationship, just as they’d had the last time she’d watched the film. They’d be together for all time, glowing with joy. But there would be no happy ending for her.
Nataleigh reached for a fresh tissue, blew her nose, then tossed the soggy tissue into the wastebasket she’d toted into the living room from the bathroom. When she’d gone into the bathroom to retrieve the basket, fresh tears had flowed at the rapid images that assailed her of making love with Keelan. Everywhere she turned, it seemed there was a memory of Keelan waiting to haunt her.
A knock sounded at the door.
She jerked in surprise. “Oh crap,” she said, glancing down at her granny nightgown attire.
Oh, who cares how I look?
She slid off the couch. She was covered modestly from neck to toes, if she wanted to get technical about it. It was probably just one of her neighbors wishing to borrow something. Then again, it was rather late for a neighbor to come calling. But…
“Forget it,” she said aloud, dashing the tears from her cheeks. “Just open the door deal with whoever it is, and be done with it.”
Dismissing her own rule of looking out the peephole to identify who was there, Nataleigh flung open the door. Then she stopped breathing as her eyes widened in shock.
“Hello, Nataleigh,” Keelan murmured.
Nataleigh opened her mouth, closed it and took a much need breath. “Keelan?” she finally managed to get out.
“May I come in?”
“Well, I…no, you can’t. I’m…sick. I have a cold, the flu and…didn’t Leena and Germaine tell you that I was ill?”
“Leena delivered a very lengthy message to me,” he stated dryly.
“Then why are you here? I have germs.” Knowing how awful she looked after a crying spell it shouldn’t be too hard for him to believe. Her nose had to be red, her cheeks splotchy and her eyes swollen.
“We have to talk,” he said, stepping into the living room.
“But I’m contagious,” she tried again, moving backward.
He closed the door and folded his arms over his chest. “Nataleigh, you’re not sick. You’ve been crying.”
“Oh. Well, I always cry when I’m sick because I hate being sick and I feel very sorry for myself when I’m sick so I cry.”
“You’re also a lousy liar.”
She sighed. “That’s what the police officer told me when I said I was Germaine’s guardian.”
“I rest my case. Shall we sit down?”
Nataleigh threw up her hands in defeat and marched over to the couch, plunking down in the corner where she’d been indulging in her crying jag. She pressed a button on the remote control and shut off the television.
Keelan settled in the recliner. “Would you care to tell me why you’re crying?” he asked, looking directly at Nataleigh.
“No.”
“All right, then I’ll tell you. You’re crying, Nataleigh, because you’ve come to realize that you’re in love with me and you believe that it’s impossible to pursue the hopes and dreams that emotion conjures up in your heart and mind.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she responded, sticking her nose in the air. “I never said that I was in love with you, Keelan Robinson. You certainly are full of yourself. You have an ego the same size of the state we live in.”
“Is that a fact?” he said, propping one ankle on the opposite knee. “What about when you were at the house I intend to buy? What about the baby’s nursery with the fuzzy bunnies and the music box? What about saying what a wonderful father I would be, then announcing how much you loved me?”
It took everything she had not to fall out of the recliner onto the floor in embarrassment. “Oh my God,” she moaned and closed her eyes. She re-opened them when Keelan dropped his foot to the floor and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers.
“Yes, Nataleigh, I heard everything you said in that room. Now I’m going to add my two cents’ worth to that scenario.” He paused. “Nataleigh, I love you. I am deeply in love with you, and I am asking you to marry me, be my partner in life, the mother of my children. Will you, Nataleigh? Will you marry me? Please?”
Fresh tears spilled onto Nataleigh’s cheeks and she wrapped her hands around her elbows. “I can’t,” she whispered, shaking her head. “Oh, why are you doing to this to me? It will be so much more difficult to deal with knowing you actually love me. Keelan, nothing had changed for me. I’m not free. I have—”
“Financial obligations for your brother and sister,” he finished for her. “I know that and you know I’m willing to take care of the situation.”
“No,” she shook her head. “No, I could never allow you to do that.”
“Damn it, Nataleigh,” he responded, lunging to his feet. “Would you quit selling yourself so short? It gets very tiresome after a while.”
“What?” she asked, confused by his outburst. “I’m what?”
“All your life,” he said, frowning as he planted his hands on his hips, “you’ve had to settle for second best and somewhere along the line you’ve come to the conclusion that you are second best, and you don’t deserve to have it all—hopes and dreams, love and marriage—the whole nine yards.”
“I—”
“Hear me out,” he demanded, his volume rising. “I can’t change your childhood, Nataleigh, any more than I can make mine different from what it was. But we sure as hell can do something about our present and future. Why aren’t you willing to do that, instead of just dwelling on how things were?”
Nataleigh scrambled off the couch. “How dare you!” she nearly shouted. “You’re dismissing my pride as thought it were a worthless entity. I will not take your money to meet my obligations, Keelan.”
“You just don’t get it,” he responded, dragging one hand down the side of his face.
“Me? You’re the one stubbornly refusing to face the facts.”
“I’m facing the fact that you’re hiding behind a protective wall, afraid to love, afraid to believe in hopes and dreams because of a lifetime of disappointments. And, I repeat, you’re selling yourself short.”
“That doesn’t make sense. I’m selling myself short? That’s nonsense.”
“Is it?” he asked, his voice suddenly very quiet and very low. “When two people pledge their love, make a commitment to forever—marry—they each bring what is uniquely theirs to that union. Do you agree with that statement?”
“Well,” she said slowly, “yes.”
“Good. Thing is, Nataleigh, all you can envision about yourself is what you don’t have to offer me. You can get to the part about not being free because of your financial situation and you stop. Right there. Selling yourself short.”
“But—”
“Let me finish. Don’t you realize what you add to my life? You are sunshine itself. You fill me up, make me happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. You make me have hopes and dreams I never thought could be mine. You complete me, make me whole. And when we made love? Ah, Nataleigh, it’s so exquisitely beautiful I can’t even find the words to describe it.”
Nataleigh pressed trembling fingertips to her lips to stifle a sob that threatened to escape.
“Nataleigh Brown,” he continued, “you are my life. I want, I need, you to be my wife. But what am I bringing to our union? In my mind’s eye, it’s only a fraction of what you give me, but I hope, pray, it’s enough.” He shook his head. “It
’s so damn incidental and unimportant that I have more money than you do. Yet you’re allowing that fact to rob us of everything we could have together. I’m not belittling your pride. You’re diminishing yourself. You’re worth so much more than the few thousands of dollars it will take to help your brother and sister. God, Nataleigh, can’t you see that?”
She pressed her fingertips to her suddenly throbbing temples as Keelan’s words hammered in her head in a painful staccato. “I…no, I…” she nearly choked on a sob. “You’re confusing me. I can’t think straight.” She drew in a shuddering breath as tears flowed unchecked down her cheeks. “You sounded so hurt and so bitter when you spoke of how your parents thought all problems could be solved with a checkbook. But now you’re attempting to do the same thing.”
“No, I’m not!”
Keelan closed the distance between them and gripped her shoulders.
“I’m not like my parents. This is a onetime thing that will make it possible for us to have a future together. We’ll be living on my teacher’s salary and whatever you make for as long as you care to work. We’ll be ordinary, middle-class citizens.”
“And, oh, by the way, although it’s hardly worth mentioning, you’re helping put your wife’s brother and sister through college?” She shook her head. “No. No, I can’t do it. It’s wrong.”
“Damn it, Nataleigh, don’t do this to us. You’re throwing us and everything we could have together away.”
“I have no choice, Keelan. I know who I am and what I have to do. I love you and I want it all, everything you spoke of, but it isn’t mine to have. I just…it just isn’t.” Through the mist of tears in her eyes, Nataleigh watched the shift of emotions cross his face and settle into his dark eyes. She saw frustration, anger, weariness, then pain, raw pain that seemed to come from the very depths of his soul.
“I guess there’s nothing more I can say,” he said, dropping his hands from her shoulders and taking a step backward. “I’ve fought the battle and I lost. We lost.” He stared up at the ceiling. “God, I don’t believe this.”
Hard to Resist Page 15
