Letters to Lily (Letters to... #1)

by Christine M. Butler

  “Will do, now Nurse Andrews is going to run you upstairs and get you settled in the maternity ward. You can pretend it's a dry run for the big day. Good luck to you Sasha, and if you have any more problems you come on back and see me. I promise not to smile while I deliver the baby.”

  At that he left and we were all laughing again. “Oh my God, I think I got knocked down today just so I could meet that doctor and have a good laugh. I so needed that.”

  “He's the best,” Nurse Andrews cooed as she helped me maneuver into a wheelchair. “Off we go to the third floor.” She turned to my mom and Kristin then. She'll be in room 323 if you need to detour to grab anything like snacks, drinks, or a fresh change of clothes for her.”

  Once I was safely tucked away in my fancy, new digs in the maternity ward I was left to my own devices for a while. Kristin took my mom with her back to the apartment to get me some clothes and to grab dinner for all of us. I was just pulling my laptop out of my messenger bag to check it for any damage it may have sustained in my fall when my phone started ringing.

  “Hello?” I answered, because the call was from Malcolm and he never called me.

  “Heya, sexy lady. I don't know if I did the right thing, but I gave someone a ride to your house.”

  “Is Brad with you? I thought he was at an away game, but I tried to get a hold of him, because there was an emergency…”

  “What the hell?”

  “Well, actually now there were two emergencies. I'm in the hospital.”

  “Are you…”

  I cut him off before we ended up on the phone all night. “I'm okay. I got knocked down a couple stairs at school today. They're just keeping me overnight to watch me as a precaution, but everything looks good and the baby's moving around. No need to worry.

  “Does Brad know yet? I'll keep trying to call him, but I think something must have happened to his phone, because he's been out of commission since they left for the game. I saw some coverage of the team practicing yesterday though, and he was in the shot so he's fine.”

  “I haven't been able to get a hold of him either. Actually, I texted earlier when I was on the way here, but I guess I better also leave an update.”

  “How long will you be there?”

  “They want to keep me for 24 hours. I should be discharged tomorrow afternoon as long as everything stays good. Hey Mal?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You said you drove someone to my house. Was it Brad's brother?”

  “Yeah it is. How did you know?”

  “He was the first emergency I needed to talk to Brad about. Do me a favor and don't tell him where I am. This is not the place I want to see him right now. Just tell him I'll be home late tomorrow.”

  “Okay, I will. Sash, if you need anything, you know you can call me right? I know we're not as close as you and Brad, but I will be there in a minute.”

  “Thank you, Mal.” My mom and Kristin were standing in the doorway now. “I have to go, but I'll let you know when I break out of this place tomorrow.” I turned to the quizzical looks they were both giving me and sighed. “You must have just missed the guest Mal brought to my house.” Both sets of eyes went wide as I explained the phone call I'd just received.

  Chapter Twenty

  ~Kade~

  Oct. 30 - “Dude, I don't know why you're not answering your phone, but I really need you to call me back!” I left yet another message on Brad's cell phone, but I was tired of waiting. I was also beginning to wonder if he was ditching me because Sasha let him know I was the ex who left her. I'd heard the anger he harbored for his Prego's ex on too many occasions for that not to be a legitimate concern. I only hoped he gave me the courtesy of letting me tell him what happened on my end.

  That's when I decided I would just make things happen on my own. Instead of waiting around for a phone call I hopped in my Jeep and took off for Brad's apartment. When I got there and banged on the door his roommate was the one to open up.

  “Hey man, is Brad around?”

  “Brad is out of town at an away game until tomorrow. I'm not sure what's up with his phone, but damn if everyone isn't trying to track him down. I forgot where the spare key was last night,” he says with a laugh. “Luckily, we hadn't changed the locks yet, and the crazy girl who stole my keys a couple months ago was kind enough to give them back now that she's dating someone else.” He rolled his eyes. “Then our old neighbor, Kristin, called all kinds of frantic looking for him earlier. I swear, he's never this in demand when he's home.”

  “Kristin? As in Kristin and Sasha who used to live right there?” I pointed across the landing to the opposite door.

  “Yeah man, you know Kristin and Sasha?” I nodded my head in the affirmative. “They're both great. Shame about Sasha's situation.” He started shaking his head. “That's the chick Brad's always referring to as Prego, man. She's fucking awesome as hell, and some dick wad did her totally wrong.”

  “Do you know where they live now?”

  “Sure man. We helped them move over the summer. Sash bought a really cute little house just down the road.”

  “Take me there!” I probably looked like a crazy man just then, but I couldn't tuck my desperation inside any longer. I needed to find Sasha like I needed my next breath.

  “You know, I was being serious about Brad being gone to a game man. He's not there.” Malcolm was looking at me strangely, obviously wondering what I would want with the girls.

  “I need to see the girls!” My voice was frantic now too, and for whatever reason Malcolm didn't call me on it. He just reached for his keys and wallet, locked his door, and said, “okay.”

  We drove the three miles up the road from the apartment to a little neighborhood set off the main road in complete silence. The house we pulled up to was a brick ranch style home with a one-car garage and shudders that were once a bright blue, but were now dulled down to a blue-gray thanks to sun exposure.

  There weren't any cars in the driveway, but I ran up and knocked anyway, not waiting for Mal to even get out of his truck. No one answered, and there didn't appear to be anyone home either so with head hung low, I walked back over to Mal's truck to explain my crazy in the hopes that he could get in touch with one of the girls for me. He was all ready on his cell though, so I just stood there and tried desperately to eavesdrop on his conversation in the hopes that he was talking to Sasha, and might find out where she was.

  “Heya, sexy lady. I don't know if I did the right thing, but I gave someone a ride to your house.”

  He was listening to someone on the other side of the conversation for a minute, and then his eyes bugged out and he looked a little panicked. “What the hell?” After another pause for him to listen he tried talking again. “Are you…”

  Apparently, whoever he was talking to enjoyed cutting him off, because it happened again and he listened for a few more minutes before he added, “does Brad know yet? I'll keep trying to call him, but I think something must have happened to his phone, because he's been out of commission since they left for the game. I saw some coverage of the team practicing yesterday though, and he was in the shot so he's fine.”

  The person on the other side was talking again, and he was pacing back and forth, obviously agitated by something at this point. “How long will you be there?” He finally asked whoever was on the other line. A quick pause followed by him saying, “yeah?” I was starting to pace next to the truck now too as he followed up another brief pause, and glance in my direction, with yet another question. “Yeah it is. How did you know?”

  My heart leapt straight into my damn chest when I heard the next words out of his mouth. “Okay, I will. Sasha, if you need anything, you know you can call me right? I know we're not as close as you and Brad, but I will be there in a minute.” He hung up before I could stop him.

  “No! You have to call her back. That was Sasha? Please, please, call her back!” I was begging and seriously, I probably had tears in my eyes at this point. Malcolm's jaw was hangi
ng slack and he was just staring at the spectacle I was making of myself.

  “Okay, first, I need you to calm down and take a breath. Then you're going to tell me why you suddenly need to talk to Sasha so bad, because I was never under the impression that the two of you even knew one another. And thirdly, I think you're going to need to explain a few more things if what I'm piecing together turns out to be true.”

  “Maybe we should sit down for this, it's going to take a little while.” I turned to open the truck door and get in. “First, can you tell me if they're coming back soon?”

  We both piled back into the truck and stayed parked at the house, which led me to believe that they would not be back soon. “No, they won't be back until tomorrow, actually.”

  “Damn it!” I huffed out. “Okay, well, I've known Sasha since fourth grade…” I started my story and he let fly an audible string of curse words that would make any sailor proud, but then shut his mouth and listened as I told him pretty much everything that brought us to this moment.”

  “How absolutely fucked is that scenario? Do you know what she's been thinking this whole time? That you just took off, without a word. Some dude you used to room with told her you left her because you wanted to get away from her crazy so bad that you moved across country.”

  “I'm going to kill that fucker the next time I see him, believe me.”

  “Dude, I don't even know what to say about this. I didn't put it together before, because she never says your name. It's like her and Kristin formed a pack to never say it. Kristin refers to you as “baby daddy” and Sasha just says her “ex” or “the baby's dad” when she talks about you.” I'm not ashamed to say I flinched when he referred to me as Sasha's ex. Hell, to make matters worse, Brad always calls her Prego, so you never heard her name either, huh?”

  “Believe me, if he'd ever once said it I would have been all over that.”

  “I do.” He looked me directly in the eye then. “I do believe you. I have no clue how Brad's going to react to all this though. That guy's been falling hard for her ever since he met her. It's probably going to devastate him that you're the ex she's been talking about.” Again, I felt a little sick at his admission. Not that I hadn't thought about that very scenario last night when I was trying to decide if Brad was ignoring my calls and texts because he wanted to keep Sasha for himself.

  “Do you know where she's at tonight?” I have to ask, because I honestly don't know if my heart will take another wait now that I know she's so damn close.

  “I um, I was told specifically not to give her location.” I don't know if he sees the frustration building or what, but the next thing I know he's adding on, “look, Sasha had a really bad day today. I mean bad. She's taking it easy right now, and I know you're going crazy inside wanting to talk to her after all this time, but I'm going to ask you to think about her and wait one more day. I honestly don't think it would be good for her health, or the baby's, if you were to show up where she is.”

  “Can you just tell me if she's all right? I caught some of your side of the conversation and you seemed worried.”

  “She told me everything was ok, but she's resting right now. Like I said, she had a bad day, and obviously the rest of her week has been a bit stressful too, considering. That's all I can give you man. You do at least know where she lives now. So, you know you'll see her soon.”

  “I can't believe she got away so easily from the diner the other day. I was in compete shock. Someone told me recently that she was pregnant, but I had also heard from a few people that she was seeing someone. I thought her new boyfriend got her pregnant, but then I saw how big she was in the diner, and I froze. I was literally doing math in my head, and processing what I was seeing with the timeline of when we were together. Then she slipped through my hands before I could pull my head out of my ass long enough to chase after her. Every minute since has been pure fucking torture, man.”

  Oct. 31 -

  “Hey man, my phone dropped while I was sleeping on the bus, and I couldn't find it until after the game. I saw you called and texted a bunch though. What the hell is going on?”

  “Are you back?” I asked Brad. “I'd rather talk in person.”

  “Nah, should be back in a little less than an hour, but a friend of mine is in the hospital so I'll be heading straight there when I get in.”

  A lump of fear and anxiety formed in my throat at his admission. “Are they okay?”

  “Yeah, some staples to the head, bruised tailbone and hip, but I think the doc was just being cautious because she took a nasty fall on the stairs at school.” I physically relaxed then. There was no way he was talking about Sasha. She wouldn't still be in school while she was that far along in her pregnancy.

  “So did you still want to wait? I'm not sure how long I'll be held up at the hospital. I'm sure Prego's gonna want some food runs done or something until they release her. Pretty sure hospitals don't cater to pregnancy cravings.”

  And I swallowed my damn tongue at that. “Brad?” I needed his full attention for the next part of what I was about to say.

  “Yeah?” I have no doubt the fear was evident in my voice.

  “Is Prego… is she Sasha?”

  “Yeah, how did…” There was dead silence for a minute. “No!” He all but yelled into the phone. “Tell me it's not you!”

  “It's not what you think, at least…” I sighed. “I need to know she's okay.”

  “Funny how that hasn't been your concern before now, brother,” he spat out at me.

  “I didn't know. There was a huge cluster fuck of miscommunication. I have an ex-roommate who was behind most of it, and he's going to pay dearly when I find him again. Trust me. I wanted to tell you in person, because it's all too fucking unreal and a long ass story from both sides apparently.”

  “Jesus, Kade…” he breathed out.

  “Can you give me her number?”

  “I'm pretty sure her phone just died, I was talking to her before I called you. And no, I won't. Sorry. That has to come from her, man. If she wants you to have it.”

  “Yeah, I get it.” I hung up and snagged my keys. It was time to go get my girl from the hospital.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  ~Sasha~

  Oct. 31 - My phone dinged that I had an incoming text, and I leaned forward to snatch it up off the rolling tray table the nurse pushed over with my breakfast this morning.

  BRAD - Hey preggers, finally got phone back in hand. Sorry wasn't there when you needed me, everything good?

  ME - Not really in hospital now.

  My cell rang immediately. “Are you okay? Is it the baby? Brad asked in rapid succession.

  “Baby's fine. I got knocked down the small flight of stairs at the student union. I hit my head on the railing, got a couple staples for that. And I slid down a few steps on my butt, so my tailbone and right hip are bruised pretty bad. X-rays showed all was good. The baby and I have been on monitors all night. No problems.”

  “X-rays on a pregnant woman?” He asked.

  “The doctor didn't want to chance something being wrong with my spine and aggravated by my being pregnant. He said it was safe.”

  “Okay, how long are you going to be there? I'm on my way back now. When did this happen?”

  “Yesterday, and I will probably be here until late this afternoon sometime. At least, I'm pretty sure they're going to release me. I was slightly dilated, but the doctor didn't think that was anything to worry about. They'll check me again before they agree to discharge me.”

  “Okay, good. I'll stop by the hospital as soon as I get in. Wait, you said this happened yesterday? You left a message about an emergency two days ago. What was up with that?”

  I groaned then. “I'm not sure I'm up for that talk right now. If I throw up the nurses might think something's wrong and keep me here longer.”

  “And what would the vomit be from, exactly?”

  “My broken heart,” I muttered. My phone is making a weird beeping
noise so I move it to see if there's an alert. Low battery. Figures.

  “I'm missing something sweetheart.”

  “You never told me your brother's name,” I tried to ease him into this with hints, because I honestly needed to be eased into talking about it again myself.

  “Funny you should ask, I got 911 messages from him too. I wanted to call you first though.”

  “Brad?” My phone beeps again. I really need him to answer my damn question. Maybe, then it will sink in for him.

  “Yeah, sweetheart?” I cringed at his use of the endearment again.

  “Your brother's name?” I hesitated a minute. “Is it Kade?”

  Brad chuckled. “Hmm, yeah, have I never mentioned his name before? Wait, Don't tell me we've had the worst timing ever with me trying to introduce you guys, and you finally meet him while I'm away?”

  “Well…” All the background noise, static, and Brad's voice drop away as my phone dies a final death, and I don't have a charger here at the hospital with me.

  My little heart was suddenly hammering away at my chest, which caused a nurse to poke her head in and check on me. “Everything okay in here?” She walked over and started poking at the machines. I guess I had set an alarm off and hadn't even noticed. Kade tended to do that to me whether he was in the room or just my thoughts. Then again, part of the problem was wondering how Brad would react to the news that his brother was my ex. The funny thing was I worried for Kade and for Brad himself, because I didn't want to be the thing that came between them when they'd only just found one another. “I'm fine. Sorry, I got a little excited about a phone call I just had and then my phone died on me.”

  She smiled knowingly, “men are always at the root of the problem aren't they?”

  “You could say that again,” I huffed out.

  “Okay, well try to relax. The doctor is making his rounds on the hall today, and we got a call from Dr. Marsh letting us know she was going to come check you out herself before your release. She's actually in surgery right now, so it might be a little while, but she wants to be the one to re-check your dilation since she's most familiar with you.” The nurse, who was a pretty young girl with red curly hair and a sweet smile, patted my leg reassuringly. “I imagine they'll have you out of here before dinner time so you won't have to eat our five-star cuisine again.” I giggled along with her then.