Paradise Syndrome

by Louise Hall

  Cate felt as though her heart was just too big for her chest, “we can try other forms of birth control. I don’t like to think of you being cut open.”

  “What if they didn’t work?” Kian frowned. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. It’s worth it to me. I can’t risk losing you again.”

  After the main course, they shared a white chocolate macadamia nut bread pudding. “I can’t remember the last time we did this?” Cate looked at the twinkling lights of downtown Seattle.

  On the drive home, Cate reached over and put her hand on Kian’s thigh. “Thank you.”

  Kian chuckled, “what for?”

  Cate shook her head; she couldn’t articulate just how much she loved him.

  Lola and Mateo were already asleep when they got home, Cate checked on them both before she went to the nursery. Nate was stood by the window rocking a fussy Sierra. “Somebody wants Mummy and Daddy.”

  Kian took his daughter from Nate while Cate went to get changed. When she returned, she was wearing one of Kian’s white shirts and a pair of black yoga pants. She’d removed her jewellery and make-up and her inky-black hair fell loosely down her back.

  “What are you fussing for, little one?” Cate cooed softly, sitting down in the rocking chair. She stroked her daughter’s soft inky-black hair and breathed in her new-baby scent. It was addictive. Sierra opened and closed her tiny fists around Cate’s hair. If Kian went through with this operation, Sierra would be their last child. Cate felt a little wistful about it but she knew in her heart that he was right; she couldn’t go through that smothering darkness again. Like Abby, she wanted to be there for each of her children’s milestones.

  Sierra nuzzled at her breast, her tiny pink lips already puckering. Kian knelt down in front of them and carefully unbuttoned Cate’s shirt. Her breasts were swollen with milk. Goose bumps broke out across her skin as he deftly unsnapped her front-fastening bra. He peeled back one of the cups and Cate guided her daughter to her breast, the tug as she began to feed felt as though it went straight to her heart.

  When she was fed, Kian slung a towel over his shoulder and took Sierra from Cate so that he could burp her. She was already getting drowsy; he could feel her little body slowly becoming heavier in his arms. He laid her down in the crib and stood back, letting Cate gently tuck her in. She reminded him so much of Cate. He didn’t know if babies could dream but Sierra moved her lips as if she was giving them a little insight into what she was seeing behind those pale eyelids framed with long, black eyelashes.

  Cate had buttoned up her shirt but removed her bra after feeding Sierra. Kian could just see the tantalising outline of her peaked nipples through the white cotton.

  They left the room and walked down the corridor to their own bedroom. “Come here,” Kian said softly, tugging her backwards toward the bed. He sat down on the mattress and lifted Cate up so she was straddling him, positioning her so that she could feel his burgeoning erection against her inner thigh. She laughed and Kian’s hands tightened on her hips. There were days when he didn’t think he’d ever hear her laugh again. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” Cate fumbled to unbutton his shirt so she could run her hands over his muscled chest. They tumbled backwards on the bed, Cate’s inky-black hair covering them like a silk curtain. She kissed the stubble on his jaw. He lay back on the mattress, giving her free rein. She kissed the flat disc of his nipples before moving down. Her breasts, which were barely restrained by her shirt, dragged against his skin. As she reached for his trousers, her hands were trembling so much that she could hardly undo the zipper. Kian placed his hands over hers and helped her remove the rest of his clothes. His cock jutted proudly against his stomach.

  Kian flipped Cate over so she was lying on her back and slowly undid her shirt, exposing the luscious breasts which had just fed his child. Sliding his hands under the warmth of her back he lifted her up and feasted on her breasts, lapping and suckling her nipples until she cried out. A trickle of milk spilled from her nipple and Cate blushed furiously, certain that she’d killed the moment but Kian grinned wickedly and dipped his head again, tasting the earthy milk which flowed from her pink bud.

  He kissed down her stomach, thinking how blessed he was that she was his wife and that she’d given him three beautiful children. Kian eased her trousers over her hips and he could almost taste her feminine musk. He removed her trousers and her panties and then reached across and opened the top drawer of the bedside table. “What are you doing?” Cate asked, her hips shifting restlessly.

  Kian opened the box and removed a shiny foil packet. Kneeling back on his heels, he tore open the packet and with Cate watching, he rolled the condom down his cock. “I’m protecting you,” Kian grunted, settling back between his wife’s legs. “I’m going to use these until I’ve had the vasectomy.”

  He slid a hand underneath her bottom and lifted her up, sheathing himself in her silken warmth. “Mm,” Cate brought her thighs up around his waist, cradling him. This was the first time they’d made love since Sierra was born. Kian moved slowly, wanting to draw this out as long as possible. He kissed her swollen lips, swallowing her breathy moans as he drove them higher. Blinded by the intensity, Cate tried to close her eyes but Kian stopped, demanding that she look at him. With their foreheads almost touching, all he could see were her entrancing black eyes. He reached for her hands and entwined their fingers, pressing them down into the mattress. She was close; Kian could feel the little tremors running through her long limbs. He pressed his lips against hers, tasting the sweetness as she dragged him over the edge.

  “It feels strange,” Cate panted softly. She lay, sweaty and exhausted, sprawled across Kian. He’d got up briefly to dispose of the condom before joining her again in bed. Cate had got pregnant the first time they’d had sex, the night of his dad’s funeral and so they’d only used condoms once before, when they were on holiday in Italy after Kian had cheated on her with his sister’s friend. It felt strange not to feel his molten release coating her insides.

  CHAPTER 27

  “Where are the other passengers, Uncle Jax?” Lola asked as they climbed aboard the private jet the following day.

  “There aren’t any, munchkin,” Jax ruffled her hair. “It’s just us.”

  Although X13 had split up after their European tour, the record company had released their Greatest Hits CD and because they wanted Jax to promote it in the UK over Christmas, they’d lent him the company jet.

  With the MLS season not due to start again until early March, Cate and Kian had been thinking about going back to Manchester for Christmas anyway. Apart from Liv, the rest of the family hadn’t met Sierra yet. The only concern they’d had was how Sierra – only two months old – would cope with such a long flight.

  Once they were airborne, Liv got up from her seat. “I think I’m going to have a nap.” There was a bedroom at the back of the plane. “You don’t mind, do you?”

  “Of course not,” Cate gave her a hug. “You need to get some rest.”

  Liv being pregnant reminded Cate of what she’d be giving up if Kian went ahead with the vasectomy.

  “Ew,” Lola wrinkled her nose. “I think Sierra needs her nappy changing.”

  Although, there were some things she definitely wouldn’t miss. After Sierra was potty-trained, Cate wouldn’t have to change a dirty nappy ever again. She slung the bag of baby supplies over her shoulder and picked up her youngest daughter, carrying her into the small bathroom.

  “Who’s a messy girl?” Cate laughed as she undid the popper on Sierra’s navy blue and green sleeper suit. Sierra giggled, kicking her little legs.

  After she’d changed her daughter’s nappy, Cate put her sleeper suit back on. Sierra’s lips were already pursed, waiting for her feed.

  Cate sat down on the closed toilet seat and removed her wool jumper. Her bra was front-fastening so she peeled back one of the cups and settled her daughter in her arms. Sierra found her nipple straight away and fed
hungrily. “So glamourous,” Cate chuckled, stroking her daughter’s inky-black hair. She jumped a little as her bare back made contact with the cold wall.

  Kian knocked on the door, “is everything OK?”

  “You can come in.”

  Kian knelt down in front of Cate and gently stroked his youngest daughter’s cheek. “Lola and Mats are almost asleep.”

  “Thanks,” Cate said gratefully. They worked so well together; as soon as Sierra had finished feeding, Kian slung a towel over his shoulder and gently burped her while Cate got dressed again. After she’d been fed and burped, Sierra fell asleep almost straight away. Cate took her from Kian and settled her in the portable cot they’d brought with them. She was so thankful that Liv and Jax had invited them to fly home on the private jet because she didn’t know how they would have coped with Lola, Mats and Sierra on a commercial flight.

  Lola and Mats were asleep in the reclining leather chairs towards the front of the plane. Kian stretched out on the sofa in the middle section of the plane and gestured for Cate to join him. She curled up around him resting her head on his chest so she could hear the comforting thump-thump of his heartbeat. As he stroked his fingers through her hair, she slowly drifted off to sleep, lovely and warm surrounded by Kian and the down quilt.

  When she woke up again, the cabin was dark. She looked across at Sierra who was sleeping peacefully in her crib. “Hey,” Kian said huskily, stroking her hair away from her face.

  He lifted Cate up so she was lying on top of him, her legs cradled between his thighs. “Is that?” Cate felt the thrust of his manhood against her stomach. “Are you…?”

  Kian chuckled; Cate could feel the vibrations against her breasts and stomach.

  He tangled his fingers up in her inky-black hair and kissed her, gently exploring her mouth. “We can’t…” Cate pulled back, her breathing choppy.

  “We’re just kissing, angel,” Kian grinned, nibbling at her bottom lip. “Liv and Jax are in the bedroom; the children are asleep.”

  “Unless…” Kian cupped her breast over her jumper, rubbing his thumb over her peaked nipple. He kissed her again, swallowing her whimpers. He slid his other hand into the back pocket of her jeans. His fingers were tantalisingly close to her bottom. Cate felt him thick and heavy against the apex of her thighs. “Do you want to join the mile-high club?”

  Cate was so tempted but she couldn’t risk them getting caught. “Not here.”

  Kian jerked his head behind them, “bathroom.”

  “OK,” Cate crept towards the small bathroom, feeling impossibly naughty.

  Kian followed her inside and once the door was locked, he flicked on the light. “Kian,” Cate protested, her eyes struggling to adjust to the bright light after the darkness of the cabin.

  “If we’re going to do this,” Kian grinned, stripping off his t-shirt. “I want to see you, angel.”

  Cate took off her jumper, “I’ve had three children.”

  Kian pushed down his jeans and wrapped his hand around his engorged cock, “and you’re still the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. Get here now.”

  While Kian pushed up her bra, feasting on her full breasts, Cate stripped off her jeans and panties. “Back pocket,” Kian grunted, letting her nipple slip out of his mouth. Cate found the foil packet and handed it to him. He quickly rolled the condom down his cock and then pushed her back against the wall. They might not have had much chance for foreplay but Cate was more than ready for him. She wrapped her thighs around his waist. “Fuck,” Kian grunted as he pushed inside his wife. She gripped him like a silken fist.

  Over his shoulder, Cate watched them through the mirror. With one arm, he kept her hands pinned up above her head, the other gripping her bottom. His muscular legs were parted, his bottom clenching with each deep, penetrating thrust. A droplet of sweat trickled down the rippling muscles of his back and Cate felt the orgasm swell and throb in the pit of her stomach. She buried her face in his neck, breathing in his raw, masculine scent; her tender breasts crushed against his muscles.

  Afterwards, Kian sank down onto the closed toilet seat, still cradling Cate in his arms.

  There was a soft rasp on the bathroom door. “Ugh, you guys I need to pee.”

  “Ah,” Cate panicked, quickly pulling her bra down over her swollen breasts. “Where are my panties?” It was blatantly obvious that they’d just had steamy sex in an aeroplane bathroom. Kian chuckled, enjoying how shy his wife could be sometimes. He leisurely removed the used condom from his cock and put it in the rubbish and then reached for his jeans. While Kian finished getting dressed, Cate dragged her fingers through her mussed-up hair. “You look so adorably fucked, angel.”

  Cate whacked him on the chest, “so not the look I was going for.”

  As soon as they opened the door, Liv darted past them into the bathroom. Jax was leaning against the wall, “so you joined the mile-high club, nice!”

  While he and Kian high-fived, Cate blushed furiously.

  Liv came out of the bathroom, “baby, I want to join the mile-high club.”

  Jax shook his head, “you’re exhausted, sweet girl. Let’s go back to bed.”

  “Were you this horny when you were pregnant, Cate?”

  Cate stammered, “I…” She really didn’t want to discuss her sex life with her sister and brother-in-law.

  Kian laughed, wrapping an arm around her waist, “all the time. Sometimes, she would even…”

  “Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Cate warned him. “I’m going to try and get some sleep.”

  CHAPTER 28

  “Thanks again,” Cate hugged Jax, “we’ll see you both in a couple of days.”

  When the plane landed in Manchester, only Cate, Kian and the children disembarked; Jax and Liv were continuing on to London. They were coming back to Manchester after Jax had fulfilled his commitments to the record label so they could all spend Christmas together

  “Look after baby Twerpie, won’t you?” Cate teased her sister as she gave her a hug.

  “For the last time,” Liv scowled, “I am not calling my baby Antwerp.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Cate laughed.

  It was bitterly cold outside so Cate checked that Lola and Mateo were wrapped up in thick coats, hats, gloves and scarves. They looked like little polar explorers. Sierra was bundled up in a padded snowsuit. It would be the first time that her American baby had ever been to England.

  Lola helped her brother down the steps while Cate carried Sierra; Kian followed behind with their luggage. Cate kept Sierra huddled against her chest as they hurried past the airport staff in their luminous orange coats trying to clear the thick snow from the tarmac and towards the warmth of the small terminal building.

  “When we get home, can we make a snowman?” Lola asked, her nose a deep pink.

  Cate was relieved that they could have their house back for Christmas; Sinead and Fabrizio had recently moved into a gorgeous converted chapel in the next village along from where Cate and Kian lived.

  When they walked into the building, they found Ben, Erin and Oliver waiting for them.

  “Welcome home,” Erin beamed. While Ben and Kian slapped each other on the back, Erin fussed over Lola and Mateo. Still cradling Sierra, Cate knelt down and gave Oliver a hug; she couldn’t believe how much her nephew had grown in just six months.

  “This must be Sierra,” Erin was giddy with excitement, “can I have a hold?”

  Cate handed her over. “Oh my goodness,” Erin exclaimed, tears pricking the corners of her eyes, “she’s gorgeous, Cate.”

  Ben had brought Kian’s Range Rover to the airport while Erin and Oliver had followed behind in their car.

  “This is weird,” Kian said as he slid into the driver’s seat. Cate checked that the children were all settled in the back before fastening her seatbelt. “Are you sure you’re OK to drive?”

  “I’ll be fine,” Kian shrugged, “it just feels like the wrong side of the road, you know?”

  As
they drove along roads that had once been so familiar, Cate felt displaced. She’d wanted to come back to Manchester for so long but now that she was finally here, she felt pangs of homesickness for Seattle.

  When they got to the house, their families had already decorated it for Christmas. With the snow still coming down, it looked like the front of a Christmas card. There were brightly-coloured lights adorning the front of the house and Cate could see a beautiful tree twinkling from the front window. They’d only just opened the car doors when Irene and Jean rushed out of the house. “We just couldn’t wait,” Jean apologised.

  “Granny Reen,” Lola gave Cate’s mum a big hug, “I’m so glad to be home.”

  “Come on inside,” they both urged. “We’ve got hot chocolate.”

  As they walked inside the house, there was a flash of black and white as Jimmy ran at Lola, nearly knocking her to the floor. “Oh,” she yelped, “Jimmy, I’ve missed you so much.” She knelt on the floor and let Jimmy lick all over her face.

  Sierra started fussing. “Do you want me to take her, love?” Jean asked kindly.

  “I think she needs feeding. I’m going to take her upstairs.”

  She went upstairs to the master bedroom, which still looked exactly as she’d left it six months ago. “Welcome home, baby girl,” Cate said softly as she laid Sierra down on the mattress. She shrugged off her coat, scarf and gloves and removed her jumper. As she peeled Sierra out of her thick snowsuit, her youngest daughter began to whimper. “I know,” Cate cooed, unfastening her bra. She sat back against the fluffy pillows and let Sierra feed from her heavy breast. It was nice to have a few minutes of peace and quiet.

  Still feeling jet-lagged, Cate propped Sierra up on her shoulder and winded her. “Ugh,” she cursed, feeling warmth trickle down her bare back. She’d forgotten to put a towel there.

  “Hey,” Kian stood in the doorway, arms folded across his chest. The thick woollen jumper he was wearing did nothing to hide his muscular physique.