Alex Hope

by Aj Estelliam

  When I was just giving up, I stood up. It was at that moment that I heard a whimper…a very feminine whimper.

  My head whirled around and I looked at Jess. She was beside me of course.

  ‘Was that you?’ I asked her.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Did you make a sound?’ I asked her.

  ‘No. What kind of sound?’

  ‘Like a whimper…’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Not even in your mind?’ I asked her desperately.

  ‘No. I didn’t say anything!’

  I looked around us frantically. All the other police officers were men. It had to be her.

  ‘What is it, Alex?’ Jess asked, holding my arm.

  I looked down at her hand holding my arm and then up to meet her eyes. ‘I heard something. I think she’s nearby.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘I think so…I mean, I’m not sure…but I thought I heard a sort of whimper.’

  The captain had come up to the other side of me. ‘Please find her, Alex,’ he said, his voice full of emotion.

  I turned, as if some invisible force was pulling me forwards. I walked around the cabin and looked out to the field and woods beyond. I scanned the field and listened for her, begging her to make the sound again. As she did, I began walking-following my instinct. I knew they were behind me every step of the way but I was ignoring everyone else. I just focused on her and her need for assistance.

  As we neared the middle of the field, something pulled me the left. I turned and looked and all I could see was a field of white and an old, dilapidated tractor sat in the far corner. With a dawning thought, I broke into a sprint across the snow, yelling for them to follow. I knew where she was! I knew without question…I ran without hesitation.

  I reached the tractor in less time than I could possibly have imagined given the snowy conditions. The door lay open and inside she lay there, bleeding onto the floor, her skin grey and her eyes closed. Behind me, police swarmed me and pulled me out of the way. I rush of activity ensued and I was pulled backwards even further-this time by familiar arms.

  ‘It’s okay…it’s okay,’ Jess said hushing me and pulling me against her body.

  I hadn’t realised I was even crying, but I was. Hyperventilating might have been closer to the truth. I found it hard to breath and I felt dizzy and sick. Jess held me tightly in her arms, stroking my hair softly and whispering to me that it was going to be okay. I held her waist; using her to keep me standing. As the poor woman was carried from the tractor to safely, all I could focus on was her missing hand and the bloody stump there instead. I turned away from Jess and was presently sick on the snow. My stomach churned again and I heaved up more sick. Jess held my hair back as I vomited. When I was done, she sat down with me on the snow, and gently stroked my head as I lay against her shoulder.

  Chapter 13

  As soon as I could stand, I was whisked away from the scene. This time, I was taken to the station to be questioned. In many ways, I understood why. It didn’t make sense that I had known where to find Tina. It was strange. The thing was, they knew I could not possibly be involved as I had been with Jess in the safe house the entire time that Tina had been missing. Despite this, they needed to check I wasn’t working alongside someone to commit this crime.

  I sat in a room for three hours, being grilled and questioned by various police officers. I didn’t see the Captain or Jess for hours and all I wanted to do was shower and sleep. I smelt like sick and felt exhausted.

  I was just giving up hope of going home at all when a familiar face came to the door. It was Captain Withers.

  ‘Alex…’

  I looked up. ‘Can I go yet?’ I asked him unhappily.

  ‘Yes…I’m sorry. We have to play by the rule book otherwise it’ll be my head on the block.’

  I shook my head. ‘I’m not involved, Captain Withers…I didn’t do any of this. I couldn’t!’

  ‘No, I know…it’s procedure.’

  ‘Well, your procedure sucks. I want to get out of here now.’

  ‘You will. I’m just trying to find someone to cover JJ.’

  ‘What?’ I asked.

  ‘JJ…I need someone to cover her shift.’

  ‘Why?’ I demanded, aghast.

  ‘Because she hasn’t had a day off in a week! She was meant to be off the past two days but it hasn’t happened. I’ll get another officer to cover her this evening.’

  ‘I…’ I wanted to argue, but the truth was that Jess did deserve her time off work. Who was I to demand that she stay with me?’

  ‘Oh, here she is…I was just talking about you,’ Captain Withers said to Jess.

  ‘Oh yeah? What’s going on? You alright, Alex?’

  I nodded, ‘Yeah…fine.’

  ‘I’m just trying to find someone to stay with Alex tonight,’ he told her.

  Her pleasant face turned into a frown. ‘You don’t need to! I’m here.’

  ‘You need a day off…go home, Jess. I’ll find someone to cover Alex.’

  ‘No way! And when I say no way, I mean no frigging way on my life am I leaving Alex with anyone else. I’ll stay with her, Captain, and I will take a holiday when this is over. I have invested time and energy into keeping her safe and I will not walk away now. It wouldn’t be right.’

  ‘Jess, I don’t mind,’ I said weakly.

  She gave me a look. ‘I’m not walking away.’

  I stopped. I heard the determination in her tone and knew there would be no swaying her.

  ‘Well, if you’re sure,’ Captain Withers began, ‘but I’m holding you to what you just said when this is over-you’re taking a holiday…a long one!’

  ‘With pleasure,’ she agreed. ‘Come on, Alex. I bet you wouldn’t mind getting out of here.’

  ‘Wouldn’t mind? Are you kidding?’ I said, getting to my feet.

  ‘Let’s go…will you send a team to cover the perimeter?’ she asked, turning to Captain Withers.

  ‘Yeah. I’ll phone now and get them to follow you over.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  That sorted, we left.

  It wasn’t until we were sat alone in the police car, waiting for the other team to get in the next car that she spoke to me.

  ‘You doing okay?’ she asked, looking over at me with those intriguing eyes which haunted my dreams.

  I nodded.

  ‘Why do I not believe you?’

  I looked at her and shivered, involuntarily. ‘I guess I could do with getting back to the house.’

  She nodded, and her eyes scanned my face. ‘It won’t be long…look, here are the guys.’

  We waited while the police men got into the next car and then we drove out of the car park. We were quiet on the way over and I kept looking at my hands in my lap, reliving earlier and the stump which was bloody and broken.

  ‘You alright?’ Jess asked, startling me.

  My head whipped around and I forced a brightened look on my face. ‘Yeah…course!’

  ‘Let’s go inside. You must be cold in those wet things. Time for a change.’

  ‘Yeah,’ I said, climbing out of the car as she held the door.

  Inside, I watched as she locked up carefully and then searched the house top to bottom. While she did so, I stood hugging myself closely, feeling strange and uneasy. I couldn’t shake the events of the day and found it hard to deal with the fact that Tina had lost a hand. It disgusted me that someone could do something so awful. I didn’t understand it.

  ‘We’re all clear…what do you want to do?’ she asked me, walking up to stand before me.

  I looked up into her beautiful eyes and felt my control slip. I stepped forwards and collapsed against her, crying. She gathered me close and let me cry. She said nothing and didn’t try to push me away. I shook and wept and kept going until it was out. When there was nothing else left to come out, she simply held me.

  ‘Sorry,’ I said, when I was able to.

  ‘Don’t you dare apologise,�
�� she murmured.

  ‘I just…I keep seeing the…’

  ‘I know,’ she said, cutting me off. ‘It was awful. The stuff of nightmares.’

  I nodded against her shoulder.

  ‘Come on…you need a warm bath and then a cosy bed.’

  ‘I must stink,’ I murmured.

  ‘Yeah, it’s gross,’ she joked.

  ‘I was sick…’

  ‘Exactly. Let me help you get cleaned up.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said gratefully, following her up the stairs.

  At the bathroom, she went ahead and started running the water.

  ‘I’ll get you some towels,’ she told me.

  ‘Thanks.’ When she left, I lifted my face to the mirror in front of me. I looked awful, I thought. My face was ashen and I had dark circles under my eyes. My hair was lank and messy and I looked thin. I pushed back my short, dark hair and then started pulling my jumper off. I would get cleaned up. It would make me feel more human again.

  Jess returned with towels before leaving me in peace to bathe. I cleaned myself up and felt much better once I was out. One look in the mirror showed me that I was one hundred percent improved from before.

  As I got dry in the bedroom, Jess went in to take a shower-leaving the door open like the last time. When she emerged, she wore jogging bottoms and a t-shirt which made her look homely and appealing to me. I smiled at her softly.

  ‘You alright?’ she asked, sitting beside me on the bed.

  I nodded.

  ‘I’m concerned about you.’

  ‘I’ll be fine,’ I told her. ‘Today was just…hard.’

  ‘It was,’ she agreed, ‘but you found her-and she is alive. That’s what matters.’

  I felt tears spring to my eyes. ‘But she has no hand now,’ I said, my voice wavering slightly.

  ‘No…but she does have her life.’

  I nodded, trying to accept that.

  ‘You said she has a little one. Imagine trying to look after a little child with one hand…’

  ‘Try not to think about it,’ she offered.

  ‘How can I not? Maybe if I had heard something sooner, she wouldn’t have been taken! Who is this evil monster doing these things?’ I questioned.

  ‘The sooner we know that, the sooner we can put him away for the rest of his life,’ she promised.

  ‘Yeah…he ought to suffer-like he has made these women suffer.’

  Jess nodded. ‘I know.’

  I hugged myself tightly.

  ‘Are you hungry?’ she asked me.

  I shook my head. I couldn’t remember when I had last eaten but I didn’t feel like eating. My stomach was nauseous.

  ‘Well, I need to grab something but then I’ll be back. Do you want to sleep or stay up a while?’

  ‘Stay up,’ I told her, ‘I don’t want to sleep while these images are in my mind.’

  ‘Don’t then…we could watch a film or something for a while. Decompress…’

  ‘That sounds like a good idea,’ I agreed.

  ‘Okay. Let me get some food supplies and then I’ll be back.’

  I waited in the bed for Jess to return. I felt uneasy all the time she was away. When she did come back, she was laden with a tray full of goodies. As she placed it on the bed, I felt my appetite surface.

  ‘Hungry?’ she asked.

  ‘Maybe a little.’

  ‘Eat,’ she encouraged. ‘I’m positive it will make you feel a hundred times better.’

  ‘You’re right. Thanks, Jess.’

  ‘What are friends for?’ she smiled.

  My eyes flew to hers. ‘Friends?’

  She smiled.

  ‘I thought you didn’t want to get ‘involved’ as friends?’

  ‘Maybe I’ve changed my mind,’ she said, somewhat huskily.

  I smiled back at her. ‘Friends…I like the sound of that.’

  ‘Me too. Sometimes when you’ve been through as much as we have together, a sort of alliance is formed.’

  ‘Exactly. An alliance,’ I repeated.

  ‘Eat, anyway…I distracted you.’

  I smiled, feeling warm inside. ‘That’s okay. I like it when you distract me,’ I murmured, without really thinking of how intimate it would sound when spoken.

  Her eyes met mine and I felt myself swallow, hard. ‘I mean…’

  She shook her head, smiling. ‘Don’t apologise for everything, Alex. You don’t need to.’

  I nodded.

  ‘Did you find a film?’

  ‘Yeah…there’s some film starting in a few minutes…about witches. It looks alright.’

  ‘Ah good. Do you mind if I get comfortable beside you?’ she asked. ‘I’m pretty worn out.’

  ‘Of course! Come and get comfy!’ I said, moving over.

  She sat beside me on the double bed, against her head board. We put the tray between us and picked at food as the film began. For a while we became normal again and were just two women, sharing an evening of relaxation together. I let myself relax and lay back against the bed watching the film. I got in to the storyline and thankfully forgot about everything for a while. I slipped into sleep as the end of the film played out before me.

  I drifted. Into dreams I fell and beautiful eyes stared at me-crystal clear green, with flecks of brown. I smiled at her, knowing her eyes. She looked at me for a long moment, but she didn’t smile back. Tears slipped from her eyes and she reached out her hand to me. I stretched my hand to meet hers but she simply got further and further away until she disappeared into the abyss.

  I woke and found myself in darkness. I shivered and pulled the cover up under my chin. Next to me, Jess hadn’t stirred. She lay relaxed in sleep, unmoved because I hadn’t shifted. I reached for the cover which had come off her and as I did, saw silvery streaks across her stomach where her t-shirt had lifted. Old scars covered her skin and created patterns in the moonlight. I pulled the duvet up and covered her dignity, knowing she wouldn’t like me seeing the residues of her past on her skin.

  I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It took a while to relax, and when I did the images came.

  The lights flashed in the darkness. I felt the fear as if it was me. What had I done? Why was I being pulled over? I got out of the car as the officer approached. I smiled at him tentatively but his face was grim in the near-darkness. He also wore a black scarf which covered half of his face; making him indistinguishable.

  ‘Is there a problem officer?’

  ‘Hands on the car…I need to search you,’ he said in an angry, muffled voice.

  ‘Why? What have I done?’

  ‘Turn and spread them,’ he ordered.

  I did as he said and as soon as his hands held my arms, I knew my mistake. A sharp prick in my upper arm and then I felt my legs growing heavy. I sank towards the floor as consciousness disappeared. My last thought was of pure, unadulterated fear.

  I woke up startled and sat up in bed with a shock.

  ‘Alex?’ Jess asked, instantly awake and moving to a sitting position beside me.

  ‘I had a bad dream,’ I said, breathing erratically.

  ‘What happened?’

  I took a deep breath. ‘I know how he catches them,’ I said brokenly, shivering despite the warm house.

  ‘Okay. Get dressed. I’ll go and call the Captain.’

  I nodded and climbed out of bed.

  Half an hour later, I sat in the lounge waiting for the Captain. I was nursing a cup of tea which Jess had made me. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I didn’t drink the beverage. I sat there letting it warm my hands though; I felt cold inside.

  ‘He’s here,’ I said, looking up at Jess as she twiddled her thumbs.

  She looked at me in confusion and then there was knock at the door. ‘Oh yeah!’

  I had heard him as he arrived. He needed a break in the case…he wasn’t getting very far fast and felt like I could help.

  ‘Morning, Alex,’ he said coming in.

  ‘Morning Captain With
ers.’

  ‘JJ says you have information?’

  ‘I had a bad dream,’ I told him. ‘I believe I know how he takes them.’

  He sat down on the sofa and took out his note pad. ‘Shoot.’

  Chapter 14

  ‘He has a police car,’ I began.

  Captain Withers looked up and frowned at me. ‘He’s police?’

  I shook my head. ‘No, I don’t think so…in fact, I don’t think that’s the case at all. I do think he’s using the police car to catch women though. He pulls them over by flashing the lights and they all think they’ve done something wrong.’

  ‘I see. I haven’t had any reports of missing vehicles.’

  ‘Look again. I’m sure he has one because it looks like your police cars around here.’

  ‘Okay…sorry, go on. What does he do then?’

  ‘He tells them to put their hands on the car to search them. Then he injects them with a drug which is an immobiliser. They collapse and he takes them in the car.’

  ‘I see…’

  ‘That’s it. But I think it may help you,’ I said hopefully.

  ‘I’m sure it will. We need as much help as we can. He seems to be escalating.’

  I nodded. ‘Yeah…’

  ‘I’ll get back to the station and look into this. Thank you for your help. Everything else okay here?’ he asked, turning to Jess.

  ‘Fine, Captain. We’re all good.’

  ‘Okay…well, I’ll be in touch later,’ he promised.

  I watched as Jess showed him out and then returned to the sofa. She sat down heavily and leaned back on the sofa.

  I looked over at her and wondered what our day had in store. As I thought through everything that had happened since I had arrived in Scotland, a worrying thought occurred to me. I hadn’t called my parents! Not once!

  ‘Oh, no…’

  ‘What now? Another wayward thought of mine?’ she asked.

  ‘No! Nothing about you, actually! I just realised-I haven’t called my parents in days! They’ll be worried! I told them I’d keep in touch.’