Alex Hope

by Aj Estelliam

  ‘Everything alright?’ I asked.

  She shook her head, rapidly. ‘No…’

  ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘They found a body. She was hanging in the woods…’

  I gaped at her. ‘In the woods?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘She’s dead?’

  ‘Yes. Hanging from a tree.’

  ‘Oh good, god!’

  ‘Yeah…’ she said, her mind turbulent. She was torn. She wanted to be out in the field, helping to catch the perpetrator. She also wanted to protect me no matter what. She faced an agonising decision over which direction she should go in.

  ‘What are you going to do?’ I asked her quietly. ‘If you want to go in…’ I said, reading her like a book, ‘just go…I don’t mind another police detective watches me.’

  ‘Stop reading me,’ she ordered.

  ‘Well, that’s what you’re thinking. Make the choice…I’m fine with it.’

  She frowned. ‘I don’t want to leave you.’

  ‘I know…but maybe you should. You’re a good detective…you should be helping more.’

  ‘Perhaps…but maybe I can stay with you and still help. We should try and figure this thing out with you-maybe you’re the key. You could solve this case.’

  ‘I don’t think so…it’s been blind luck so far in many ways. I don’t think I know enough to put this guy away.’

  ‘No?’

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘Are you willing to try?’ she asked.

  ‘Of course! I don’t know what we can do though. ‘How are you planning on this working?’

  ‘I’m considering it.’

  ‘Well, when you figure it out-let me know,’ I told her.

  ‘I will.’

  ‘I’m making hot chocolate. Do you want one?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes please,’ she answered, still looking thoughtful.

  I clambered off the sofa and headed for the kitchen.

  I boiled the kettle and then put hot chocolate powder in two mugs. I then poured the water on and stirred the cups. Adding marshmallows to the top, I lifted the cup to my lips. As I did, a sudden flash of lights blinded me and my knees gave way beneath me. Clattering to the floor, hot chocolate spilling all over my arm, I cried out in pain.

  ‘Alex!’

  Jess was immediately by my side. ‘Get up! We need to get this arm under cold water!’

  I stood shakily and let her guide me to the sink. She pushed my arm under the cold water tap and held it there steadily as the water gushed down upon my burnt arm.

  ‘What happened there? You’ve poured boiling water all over yourself!’

  ‘I…I had a flash of something,’ I told her shakily.

  ‘You need to be more careful,’ she said and then looked down at me.

  I looked up as she lowered her gaze and our eyes met. Instant connection hit me hard. Her beautiful green eyes with flecks of brown held mine and this time, neither of us broke the contact.

  I felt a flutter in my stomach and nerves skipped through me merrily. I watched, fascinated as her eyes dropped to my mouth and then back again. The pain in my arm forgotten, I wanted nothing more than for her to kiss me.

  I looked at her mouth. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted her then more than I had ever wanted anyone in my life before. She may have been more complex than anyone I had ever met, but this didn’t deter me. I found her intriguing, and warm and…I wanted her.

  I leant towards her and just before I kissed her, she surprised me but stopping me with a firm hand.

  ‘No,’ she said, quietly.

  I looked up, her face inches from mine. ‘But you want this too…’

  Her eyes were sad. ‘I do…but that doesn’t mean I should.’

  ‘Jess,’ I murmured, and reached my hand to her cheek, to lie softly on her skin. As I did so, an image came to mind so quickly there was no stopping it. A flash and a moment in history passed through my mind. I snatched my hand away as if it had been burned. I then took two very clear steps backwards; away from her.

  ‘What?’

  I stared at her mutely.

  ‘What now? What did you see this time?’

  I shook my head, disgusted by what I had seen. I turned away from her and walked away to the sofa to sit down. Resting my head in my hands, I tried to comprehend what kind of life Jess had been subject to.

  Chapter 16

  Jess was beside me in an instant. She sat down and turned towards me.

  ‘What was all that?’

  ‘More of your past,’ I murmured.

  ‘Oh…’

  ‘It was awful.’

  She chuckled, mirthlessly. ‘That pretty sums up the lot.’

  ‘No, I mean…’ I trailed off, shaking my head. ‘I can’t ever ‘unsee’ that…’

  ‘What? If you’re going to see this crap, you might as well talk to me about it.’

  I looked at her warily. ‘But I thought you didn’t want to talk about it?’

  ‘I don’t! But sometimes there’s little choice, right?’

  I nodded sadly. ‘I feel so sad now.’

  ‘Tell me what you saw.’

  I took a deep breath and let it out shakily. ‘Okay...it was your brother,’ I began.

  I watched as she visibly stiffened.

  ‘He, uh…’

  Jess looked at me closely and waited for me to continue.

  ‘He was being…hurt…’

  Jess pursed her lips and looked down at her hands. She was ringing them, and they were white with tension. ‘By hurt you mean sodomised,’ she confirmed.

  I nodded, mutely.

  She took a deep breath and then released it slowly. ‘I came home from school late that day,’ she began. ‘If only I had been on time, it wouldn’t have happened to him.’

  I shook my head as if to say, no-this wasn’t your fault!

  ‘I got to the bedroom and I could hear his cries…they were muffled as he was being forced down but he was in such agony. I had to stop him…had to stop him…’

  I met her eyes and felt the pain she had suffered. She had stopped him…by giving herself to him. It had been the only way to protect Jamie. I could see it and hear the memory pass by her mind.

  ‘After that, he didn’t touch him. I made it clear I was available to him when he wanted-as long as he didn’t touch my brother.’

  ‘Jamie was younger?’

  ‘How did you know…oh yeah…Jamie was younger.’

  ‘So, you wanted to protect your little brother?’

  ‘I did, of course! It didn’t always work! Sometimes when he was angry, he’s beat on him too…the sexual abuse was always directed at me from that point on, though. I was thankful for that-on Jamie’s behalf.’

  I frowned. ‘Whatever happened to Jamie?’

  She looked down at her clenched fists again. ‘That is one of my greatest regrets…’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I don’t know, Alex. My own brother, and I don’t know…’

  ‘How is it that you don’t know?’

  ‘Well, after heading to college, apparently Jamie went off the rails a bit too. He started experimenting with drugs and made some bad choices. He dropped out of college and then just…disappeared.’

  ‘He disappeared?’

  She nodded. ‘I haven’t heard from him in years…I’ve searched and searched-even using everything the police department has to offer to help me. It’s been no use. He clearly doesn’t want to be found-if he’s even still alive.’

  ‘What makes you say that? Why would he be dead?’

  ‘Because he was making himself ill…he was going down a route that was going to get him hurt or worse. He was on self-destruct. No-one was able to help him at that point.’

  ‘How very sad…’ I commented.

  ‘It is, I know…it’s one of my biggest regrets, that he didn’t come out the other side unscathed-like me.’

  ‘I wouldn’t exactly say you were unscathed.’
<
br />   ‘No, perhaps not. I survived though-and made something of my life.’

  ‘You sure did,’ I agreed. ‘And look at you now! You help people for a living-and devote all of your time and energy to it.’

  ‘You don’t think I should?’ she asked.

  ‘I admire you for it, but I also think you should have something just for you.’

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘A personal life.’

  She nodded. ‘Back to that again…’

  ‘Jess…look…what just almost happened in the kitchen…it’s an option. It’s one you could explore. I’m not saying necessarily with me; but I would like to see you happy.’

  ‘Why not necessarily with you? Wasn’t that what that moment was about in the kitchen?’ she asked.

  I dropped my gaze. ‘I don’t know…’

  ‘You seem…interested somehow in me,’ she began. ‘I won’t deny I don’t find it incredibly flattering but I really don’t understand it.’

  ‘Why not?’ I asked her, confused.

  ‘Because you’re something else, Alex. You’re one of life’s special people. I don’t think I deserve the attention.’

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous. You deserve everything life has to offer, Jess.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because you, above all others, have been through enough shit in your life to deserve some happiness.’

  She sighed. ‘I don’t get you…’

  I smiled at her fondly. ‘Sometimes chemistry is unexplainable.’

  ‘Chemistry?’

  ‘This ‘thing’ you and I have,’ I murmured.

  Her eyes met mine and held. My stomach jumped with butterflies again. ‘I’m trying to remain professional here, Alex.’

  ‘Maybe you shouldn’t…’

  ‘No?’ she asked.

  I shook my head.

  ‘And what are you suggesting instead?’ she questioned quietly, her voice warm and husky.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘No?’

  I looked down for a moment. ‘Well, maybe I do.’

  ‘You either do or you don’t, Alex. Which is it?’ she questioned.

  ‘I…I’ve never done this before.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Taken the lead.’

  ‘No?’

  I shook my head. ‘It’s not me…’

  ‘Then why are you even suggesting it?’

  I tilted my head and regarded her carefully. ‘Because if I don’t, I suspect you never will.’

  ‘That’s not necessarily true.’

  ‘You said it yourself-you’re remaining professional and you’re not looking for a relationship.’

  ‘So, why even start anything?’ she asked.

  ‘I know,’ I frowned. ‘I keep mulling that around in my head too…the trouble is, no matter how much I probably shouldn’t start anything, in some ways I feel like it’s out of my hands.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I feel drawn to you like a magnet…I can’t control it and the attraction feels almost inevitable.’

  ‘So, give in,’ she suggested.

  ‘Is that what you want?’

  ‘Yes of course!’

  ‘Even though you keep backing away?’

  Jess’ eyes dropped to my mouth and I felt my heart start to hammer.

  ‘I’m tired of keeping away from you, Alex.’

  She leant towards me and I closed my eyes…

  Hard, pounding interrupted us seconds before our lips met. I groaned in frustration and opened my eyes, sitting back against the sofa feeling very disappointed.

  ‘Sorry…’ Jess said, hurrying to her feet and over to the door.

  I watched as she opened it again, only to see Captain Withers once more. He wore a grim expression.

  ‘Captain? What’s wrong?’ I asked him concerned.

  He stepped inside, stomping the snow off his heavy boots. He slammed the door behind him and took of his coat. In his hand, he carried a folder.

  ‘He’s struck again…the evil bastard. There’s another woman missing…’

  ‘Who?’ Jess asked, immediately all business and professional.

  ‘She works in one of the bars in town apparently. Her name is Katie Evans.’

  ‘I know Katie!’ Jess exclaimed.

  He sighed. ‘Yeah…so do I…it seems no-one noticed that she didn’t get home last night. She worked the graveyard shift and lives alone so it took a while for people to sit up and take notice.’

  ‘How did they find out she was gone?’ I wondered.

  ‘She was meant to turn up at ten today…she didn’t.’

  ‘Maybe it’s unrelated,’ Jess suggested. ‘I mean, we don’t know for certain it’s him, right?’

  ‘Wrong,’ Captain Withers informed her and glanced at me with wary eyes.

  As his eyes met mine, I saw his thoughts. I felt sick.

  ‘You found it.’

  He looked at me, unsurprised this time. It seemed he was becoming used to me knowing before he spoke.

  ‘What? Come on! Someone tell me as well!’ Jess said, sounding frustrated.

  ‘They found a finger-right?’ I said, turning to the Captain.

  He nodded grimly. ‘He left it in the alley way at the back of the pub. It wasn’t hidden at all…I think he probably wanted to let us know he had taken her.’

  I felt my stomach churn.

  ‘We need to find her…’ he said, looking towards me.

  ‘I’m sorry, Captain, but I haven’t seen anything this time,’ I apologised.

  ‘I know. But if you do, we need to know immediately. I feel like he is escalating fast and I don’t want this to end up in more murders.’

  I nodded, thinking. There was nothing though.

  ‘I have an idea,’ Jess said slowly.

  ‘What?’ I asked, turning towards her.

  ‘Well, we have two survivors in hospital…’

  ‘Yes?’ Captain Withers murmured.

  ‘Well, maybe if Alex met them-she might be able to find out more.’

  ‘How do you mean?’ I frowned.

  ‘Well, every time you’re near someone, you know what’s in their head. Maybe they saw something that was useful. Maybe they know something they don’t realise is important and you can look inside their heads and find it.’

  I swallowed hard. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see all the things inside those poor women’s heads. ‘I guess it’s an idea…’

  ‘The woman with the missing hand-Tina-saw his face. She’s given a sketch artist some help but the image isn’t particularly helpful.’ Captain Withers looked frustrated.

  ‘You’re thinking if I see through her eyes, I could get a better picture?’ I question.

  ‘Perhaps. At this stage, surely anything is worth a try?’ he said, running a weary hand across his beard.

  ‘Okay,’ I said in a quiet voice. ‘Just tell me what to do and I’ll try to help.’

  He nodded my way, ‘Thank you, Alex.’

  Ten minutes later, we left the safe house once again. We all climbed into Captain Withers car and headed out slowly. The roads were very icy and snow still fell heavily. The area was beautiful, I mused, even if it was home to such evil.

  ‘It’s really beautiful here,’ I said, voicing my thoughts.

  ‘It is,’ Alex agreed. ‘Winter can be harsh but it’s absolutely stunning-and in summer the area is gorgeous.’

  ‘Do you like living here?’ I asked her, as the Captain drove.

  ‘I love it. It’s serene and beautiful…and quiet,’ she finished.

  ‘Yeah…’ I sighed. ‘Quiet is good.’

  We rode for the rest of the journey in silence but despite Captain Withers and Jess being quiet in voice, both were loud with their thoughts. I couldn’t dismiss them as I stared out the window at the view; their worries were just too intense. I listened as the Captain fretted about his latest victim and I listened as Jess tried to reconcile with her growing feelings towards me. She also kept telli
ng herself to stop thinking about me, in case I heard. It was no use-she couldn’t control her thoughts enough to stop it.

  ‘Here we are,’ Captain Withers said as he pulled into the small hospital. Everything in this area was on small scale and looked attractive in the picturesque surroundings.

  ‘How are they?’ I asked as I fell into step beside Captain Withers and Jess.

  ‘I don’t know to be honest,’ he replied, his mouth set in a grim line.

  ‘I guess the fact that they’re still in hospital says a lot.’

  ‘Yeah…I don’t think it’s something that either will get over quickly,’ he commented.

  ‘Or ever,’ Jess added in, thinking of her own awful past.

  ‘I hope they’ll get help mentally as well as physically,’ I murmured.

  ‘Oh, they will,’ Captain Withers assured me.

  ‘We’ll make sure they’re well taken care of…’

  ‘Good,’ I said, as we walked down another corridor. ‘Urgh…I feel nervous.’

  Jess was beside me in an instant. ‘You’ll be okay…don’t worry, Alex. We’ll be by your side through the whole thing. Just remember we’re trying to resolve this-not put you through more ordeal.’

  I nodded. ‘I know…it’s just hard.’

  ‘Of course it is, but we need to get it over and done with as soon as possible.’

  ‘Yeah…’

  The Captain stopped outside a door. ‘Here we are.’

  I took a deep, steadying breath.

  Chapter 17

  Inside the hospital room, Janey sat on the bed looking pale. She looked up as we walked in and gave a small smile of recognition.

  ‘Hello,’ she said softly.

  ‘Hello,’ I replied.

  ‘Janey-you remember Alex Hope, right?’

  She nodded. ‘Of course. I’ll remember her for the rest of my life and how she saved me. Are you reading my thoughts now?’ she asked eagerly.

  I listened as she said, ‘thank you, thank you, thank you,’ in her mind and nodded. ‘Yes…loud and clear,’ I smiled.

  ‘What did I say then? This is fascinating, right?’ she said, turning to Jess and the Captain.

  ‘You were just saying thank you,’ I replied softly.