Destined for You
Page 8
Finally she spoke, motioning to the two chairs at the kitchen table. “You’d better sit down.”
Chapter 8
“Dead?” Luke shook his head.
“Yes, I’m sorry.” Gloriana had tried to figure out an easier way to share the news, but in the end had found herself blurting out the truth. “They were crossing to the North Shore to deliver fish, and the storm came up out of nowhere. They were all caught off guard. Sometimes storms do that. My father didn’t usually have that trouble. He always seemed to have an intuition about storms, but this time apparently it failed him.”
It was obvious the poor man was having trouble reconciling the news. Who could blame him? Gloriana was still struggling to reconcile it, and it had been two days since she’d learned the truth.
“Sally is next door. She’s in labor, but the midwife says she’s lost the will to live. A doctor has been sent for, and he may well have to cut the baby from her.”
“I want to see her.”
Gloriana nodded. “I’ll take you to my house, but first, do you have any questions? I don’t want to talk about this in front of Sally. She can’t bear it.”
“I don’t think I have questions. Scott went fishing with your father and his crew, and the storm came up and the ship sank.”
The way he said it seemed so matter-of-fact that it made Gloriana angry. “Yes, and eight men lost their lives. Perhaps you weren’t that fond of your brother, but I was, and I loved the rest of the crew as well.”
Luke’s brow furrowed as confusion filled his expression. He shook his head. “I didn’t mean to sound callous, honestly. I loved my brother deeply.”
Gloriana forced herself to calm down. She could see the hurt in his eyes. “And I didn’t mean to sound so angry. But I am angry. I’m angry at the loss, and I’m angry at trying to figure out the future. My eight-year-old brother is blaming himself for his father’s death, and now he has no one but me to rely on.”
“I am sorry.”
Gloriana barely heard him. “Most of all I’m angry at God. He took my brother and sister and mother three years ago, and now my father and your brother. They were good men. They were good friends—in fact, Scott was like a son to my father. He loved him. We loved Scott and Sally.” She got up and began to pace. “And now they’re gone, and Sally will most likely die as well. It makes no sense. God is cruel.”
“He gives and takes away, but still we must say, ‘Blessed be the name of the Lord.’”
She turned on her heel and fixed Luke with a hard look. “How can you say that?”
“What else shall I say? I’m hurting just as much as you are, but I cannot see that blaming God will help any more than you blaming yourself.”
“Oh, I don’t blame myself. I had nothing to do with this. God who controls the world—the seas and storms—He is the one who could have done something, yet He stood by idle.” A sob broke from her throat. She was losing control in front of this stranger, and it only furthered her frustration. “I’ve lost everything and have no idea how I’m going to face the future, and yet God is silent.” Tears streamed down her cheeks. “It’s a terrible burden to bear, and I would think you feel it as well.”
“I do. I can hardly comprehend my brother being gone. I just had a letter from him, and his happiness was spelled out across the pages. He loved fishing.” Luke shook his head. “I can hardly imagine coming from our background of wealth and enjoying manual labor, but that was Scott. He was always full of surprises.”
“I know he loved it.” Gloriana wiped her cheeks with her sleeve. “He loved Sally and the coming baby as well. Now he’ll never see that child. It’s not right.” She buried her face in her hands and let go of her tears.
To her surprise, she wasn’t alone for long. Luke came to her and put his arms around her. Pulling her close, he offered words of comfort. “I’m so sorry. My heart is broken for you and for Sally. Theirs was a truer love than most I’ve ever seen.”
He held her while she cried, and Gloriana let him. She wanted to pull away and stand strong, but there was nothing left to give. She had watched Sally slipping away for two days and knew the young woman would soon be dead. She had no idea if the baby would live. The midwife wasn’t very hopeful.
The thought of the baby dying made Gloriana cry all the more. She cried for all of them. The sweet family she had come to love, the hope of playing auntie to the babe. She cried for all of it.
Luke patted her intermittently but never once suggested she stop crying. Gloriana had never known such compassion from a stranger. It was as if God had known she needed a friend and had sent him.
But if God were truly that kind, He could have just kept the tragedy from happening in the first place.
That thought brought her back to anger, and she pushed Luke away without warning and headed to the door. “This isn’t doing any good. Come next door, and I’ll take you to Sally.”
If Luke was shocked by her attitude and action, he didn’t say so. Instead he nodded and looked around as if searching for something. Then he reached for his head. “I was looking for my hat, but I see I completely forgot to even remove it. Forgive me.”
Gloriana shook her head. “There’s nothing to forgive.”
She led the way to her house, wondering the whole time what he must think of her falling apart in his arms. She was embarrassed at how she’d sobbed. Such weakness was not a pleasant thing to witness, especially from a stranger.
Opening the door, she found the midwife gathering a stack of towels. “I think the baby has finally decided to come,” Abigail said. “He’s moved down the birthing canal, and I can just see his head.”
“Mrs. Lindquist, this is Lucas Carson, the uncle. His brother was married to Sally.”
The older woman nodded. “I must return to Sally. You should be able to see the baby soon. Gloriana, come and help me.”
Gloriana nodded and took up an additional stack of towels. “I’m right behind you.”
They entered her father’s room, and immediately Sally moaned. “The baby. The baby is coming.”
“Yes, dear. I know. Just go ahead and let him come. I’m here to help.” Abigail deposited all but one towel and placed it under Sally’s legs.
“Is the doctor coming?” Gloriana asked. She placed her stack of towels beside Abigail at the end of the bed.
“No. He was out on another call. His wife promised to send him, but thought he might be some time. I believe we’ll be just fine now, however. The baby is moving well and should be with us momentarily.”
Of course, that didn’t answer the unspoken question of whether or not the child would be alive. Gloriana didn’t know whether to hope that, if Sally died, the child would as well. That seemed cruel, but on the other hand, what would a newborn do without his or her mother?
“There now, here we go.” Abigail’s gentle words did little to soothe Gloriana’s concerns. “Just push him on out. Or her. You might have a wee girl here.”
Sally said nothing. She had fallen back against the pillow, as white as the sheets beneath her.
Gloriana went to her and wiped her face with a wet cloth. “Sally, you’re nearly done. Keep going. The baby will be here soon.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Sally whispered so softly that Gloriana thought she’d misheard. “Nothing matters without Scott.”
“Of course it does. This baby needs you.” Gloriana dampened the cloth again and wiped the younger woman’s face. “You must live for the baby.”
Sally shook her head. “Not without Scott. I can’t. He was my strength.”
“God is your strength, child,” Abigail declared. “Scott might be gone, but God will never leave or forsake you.”
Gloriana fought back a bitter retort. She didn’t want to make matters worse. Sally must find the will to live, and Gloriana wasn’t about to let her anger at the Almighty interfere with that.
The baby slid out, and Abigail rejoiced. “A girl! You have a sweet little daughter.”
“Get a towel and rub her off, then wash her in that basin I prepared. She won’t like it, but it will aid her health.”
The baby was wailing something fierce, but there didn’t appear to be any real tears. Gloriana marveled at the tiny infant. Their gazes met, and for a moment, Gloriana felt a wave of guilt. The baby should be greeting her mother, not a stranger.
She whisked the baby to the basin Abigail had prepared and did her best to wash the newborn. The infant was slippery, and Gloriana feared she’d lose her hold. It had been a long time since she’d washed a baby. She forced herself to focus on the task at hand, making sure the newborn was completely clean. The bath was brief, and as soon as Gloriana finished, Abigail instructed her to wrap the baby in swaddling.
“Bring her to Sally,” Abigail commanded when Gloriana was done. “Sally Carson, wake up and see your baby.”
Sally opened her eyes as Gloriana bent to show her the baby. “She’s beautiful, Sally. You must see her.”
The exhausted mother lifted her hand to touch the baby’s cheek. “She is lovely.”
“She’s also going to be quite hungry. That’s why you must recover so you can feed and nourish her,” Abigail declared.
Gloriana tucked the baby in the crook of Sally’s arm. “She needs you, Sally. You cannot leave us.”
“May I come in?” Lucas Carson asked from the door.
Abigail quickly wrapped the afterbirth in a towel. “Let me pull over the covers.” She hurried to make Sally presentable.
Luke came cautiously into the room.
Sally opened her eyes again and looked at the man who stood at the side of her bed. “Hello, Luke. I’m glad you’ve come.”
“So am I.” He looked at the baby. “She’s beautiful. Congratulations. I know Scott would be very proud.”
She gave a weak nod. “You know about him?”
“Yes. This young woman told me when she found me exploring your little house.”
“This is Gloriana. She’s my dearest friend in the world.”
“Yes. We met briefly, and she told me of all our sorrow.”
Gloriana liked the way he included them all. It truly wasn’t just one person’s sadness, but an entire community’s.
He touched Sally’s cheek. “I’m here to help you now.”
“Do I get to see the baby?” JT asked from the doorway. He yawned and then scratched his head. Apparently all the noise had woken him.
Lucas rose and glanced at Gloriana.
“This is my little brother, JT.” She turned back to the boy. “Yes, take a quick peek, and then back to bed with you,” Gloriana instructed. “Sally needs to feed her baby girl, and then both of them will need a lot of rest.”
JT came to Gloriana’s side and stared up at Lucas. “Who are you?”
He smiled. “I’m Scott’s brother, Luke.”
JT frowned as he looked at his sister. “Does he know?”
Gloriana nodded. “Yes. I told him.”
“Gloriana.” Sally’s weak voice barely registered.
“I’m here.”
If possible, Sally looked worse, and Gloriana feared the truth. She was dying.
“Luke?”
He came to stand beside Gloriana. “I’m here too.”
Sally lifted the baby ever so slightly. “Take her, Gloriana.”
Gloriana accepted the baby, not wanting to argue the point that the child needed to nurse. The baby fussed for a few seconds but calmed, as if understanding the need for quiet.
“I want you and Luke to . . . to look after her. She needs you now.”
“She needs you, Sally. You alone. She’s already lost her father. Don’t deny her a mother as well.”
Sally met Gloriana’s eyes. “I . . . can’t. I don’t want to be here . . . without him.”
“But Scott wouldn’t want you to leave the baby,” Luke replied. “Sally, please try.”
She gave a faint smile. “Promise you’ll both . . . care for her?”
“Of course,” Luke promised.
Sally looked to Gloriana. “Promise?”
“I will. I’ll love her as my own.” Tears came to Gloriana’s eyes. How could Sally leave them now? How could she desert the baby she had so wanted?
The baby began to fuss and then cry in earnest. Gloriana held her tighter and rocked back and forth. Still the infant refused to be comforted. It was as if she knew her mother was passing.
Abigail reached up to touch the center of Sally’s chest. She leaned her head against Sally’s breast and then shook her head. “She’s gone.”
Gloriana drew in a sharp breath that was racked with sorrow. She shifted the baby to her shoulder and pressed her face against the tiny head. She couldn’t believe this was happening. “Poor babe.”
After they’d sat in silence for a few minutes, Gloriana realized they had some decisions to make.
“I’d like to call her Sally Marie after her mother and Scott’s,” Luke said.
“That sounds nice.” Gloriana barely managed to speak. It was all too heartbreaking.
“I know an Ojibwe Métis woman who can nurse the babe. She won’t charge much,” Abigail said, pulling the cover up over Sally’s face.
Luke fished out several bills. “Get her. Pay her whatever she asks. The child must survive.”
Abigail nodded. “I’ll have her here soon. I’ll leave my things, Gloriana, and come back to get them when I bring the wet nurse.”
“That’s fine. I’m sure we’ll all be awake.”
JT had come to Gloriana’s side and he wrapped his arms around her waist. “What are we going to do now? Who will care for the baby?” It was all so much to think about.
“We will,” Lucas Carson replied. “We promised.”
Gloriana nodded. “Yes. We promised.”
“Will baby Sally live here with us? Will Mr. Carson live here too?”
Gloriana looked to Luke. “I . . . well, I hadn’t thought that far ahead.”
“She should probably remain with you. I know nothing about babies.” Scott’s brother gave her a smile. “But if I could stay in the cottage next door, then I can be nearby to offer my assistance.”
“Of course.” Gloriana had already considered renting the place out so they’d have money to pay the bills. Would Lucas Carson be willing to pay rent? It was too much to think on just now.
“I’m glad we get to have her stay here,” JT said. “Then we won’t be so sad.”
Gloriana glanced down at Sally’s covered body. “We’ll have to make arrangements for her.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything,” Luke replied. “You just see to the babe. I’ll manage the funeral.”
“There’s going to be a big memorial service for all of the men who died at sea. Perhaps we can arrange something around the same time with Pastor Sedgwick.”
“You know him?”
“Of course. He’s our pastor.” Gloriana shook her head. “Why? Do you know him?”
“I met his son Theodore on the way to Duluth. He’s to be my personal secretary and assistant.”
“Oh.” Gloriana looked away, lest her lack of enthusiasm give her away. It didn’t work.
“Do you know Theodore Sedgwick?”
“Not well. I know of him from his mother. He has been a great source of grief, but I suppose it’s unkind of me to say so.” She turned back to Luke. “Please forgive me and forget I mentioned it. We have far too many other important things to figure out. First and foremost is Sally and, of course, the baby. I’ll need the cradle brought here from next door.”
“Of course. Anything else?”
Gloriana looked down at the fussy infant. “There’s a trunk of baby things that Sally and I made. It’s near the cradle. Eventually I’ll need that as well.”
“I’ll bring them both.”
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Gloriana allowed her gaze to meet his. She honestly didn’t know what she would have done if Luke hadn’t shown up when he did. “Thank you.”
Chapter 9
Theodore didn’t bother to knock on his parents’ door, but instead opened it and let himself in. He had little nostalgia for the house where he’d spent his childhood. Life in Duluth had been bitter and filled with troubles. He wanted nothing of it but to take back what it had stolen from him.
“Who’s there?” his father called, coming down the hall.
When their gazes met, Theodore could see the contempt in his father’s eyes. He was just as unhappy to see Theodore as Theodore was to see him. Theodore forced a smile nevertheless.
“What do you want?” his father asked.
“It’s good to see you too, Father.” Theodore removed his hat and tossed it onto the receiving table.
“We weren’t expecting you.”
“No, I’m sure you weren’t. Believe me, I didn’t expect to be here. However, in an effort to reclaim my good name and turn my life around, I felt I had to come.” He began to remove his gloves. “And I knew I had to start with you. So I’ve come to beg your forgiveness.”
His father’s eyes narrowed, and the look on his face was guarded. “You’ve come to beg my forgiveness for what?”
“For the trouble I caused. For the problems I created that threatened to destroy your good name and community standing.” Theodore hoped he sounded and looked sincere. He’d practiced long and hard. Hours of staring at himself in the mirror and forcing the lie.
The older man crossed his arms. “What, if I may ask, has brought about this desire for reformation?”
Theodore had been ready for this question. “I have resolved to rectify my soul with the teachings you instilled. My heart has struggled for some time regarding my relationship with God, as well as our relationship. I can see now the error of my ways and desire to right the wrongs of the past.”
Father’s expression softened a bit, but the doubt was still fixed in his eyes. “To what purpose?”
“That I might stand ready on Judgment Day with a clear conscience where God is concerned. And as for us, that we might remake our relationship and renew the love that once bound us as father and son.”