The Friends We Keep (Mischief Bay)

by Susan Mallery

  Jairus pulled her to her feet. “We have cupcakes,” he said, his expression tight but his voice friendly. “Want me to bring you one?”

  Tyler nodded. “Yes, please.”

  Jairus drew her out into the hallway and then down to the kitchen.

  “Don’t,” he whispered urgently. “Nothing’s different. Nothing’s changed. Don’t read more into it than there is. I love you, Nicole. I’m not going anywhere.” He grabbed her upper arms and stared into her eyes. “Don’t do anything. I love you.”

  She nodded. “I know. I love you, too.”

  “Then let that be enough.”

  She didn’t say anything. This wasn’t the time or place for the conversation. But she knew what she knew. Loving someone wasn’t enough. Not by a long shot.

  * * *

  Friday afternoon Gabby worked late. The twins had a playdate until five, which meant she could put in an extra few hours at the office. She’d stayed caught up all of fifteen seconds before the flu attack had seriously derailed her schedule. She figured if she continued to bring work home, she would have everything done in about two weeks.

  She was exhausted from only getting four or five hours of sleep a night. Her boss had given her plenty of praise for what she was accomplishing and had hinted she would like to hire Gabby full-time. The thought of having more responsibility had nearly made her weep.

  If she had to work forty hours to get paid for twenty, what would it mean to be responsible for forty hours of output? An eighty-hour week? At half pay? Not that she would mind so much if she liked what she was doing, but she didn’t. She wanted to be excited about what she was doing. She wanted to look forward to showing up at the office and hey, she wanted to be paid for the time she put in.

  She pulled into the driveway and parked with the car windows down. Despite the detailing, the smell of vomit lingered. She had a bad feeling it was never going away. She got her tote and her handbag, then walked into the house.

  For maybe five seconds, there was blessed silence. Just the empty living room and her own quiet breathing. Then Boomer bayed from somewhere in the back of the house and the twins came running out to greet her. She hugged them automatically.

  “When did you two get home?” she asked. “I thought I was picking you up at five.”

  “Daddy sent Cece to get us,” Kennedy informed her. “She’s staying with us tonight.”

  What? Cecelia? But that would mean that she and Andrew were going out. Was there an event she’d forgotten about? Some work function or fund-raiser she would have to rally for?

  The thought of it made her want to sink to the carpet and sob. She was bone-weary. She hadn’t totally recovered from the flu before jumping back into everything. She felt as if she hadn’t seen her kids in forever. She wanted to sit and read to them, to bake cookies with the twins and Makayla. Speaking of the teen, nothing had been settled, so that still loomed. Going out? It couldn’t be lower on her list of priorities.

  “Where’s your dad?” she asked.

  “In his study.”

  Gabby dropped her bag and tote onto the sofa, then walked down the hallway. Everyone trailed after her, including Jasmine who trotted to the front of the parade and meowed to be picked up.

  Gabby obliged. Stroking the soft fur always made her feel better. Hearing the rumble of the purr eased her tension. She walked into Andrew’s office.

  Her husband looked up at her. “You’re home. How was your day?”

  “Fine. Why is Cecelia coming over?”

  He smiled and rose. “I’m taking you to dinner. I know how hard you’ve been working. I thought you could use a night out.” He winked at the twins. “It was a surprise. Thanks, girls, for not telling Mommy.”

  “Yes, thanks, girls,” she said. “Could you please check on Makayla? We were going to bake tomorrow. Does she still want to help with that?”

  The twins grinned at the prospect of one of their favorite activities. They went careening down the hallway, Boomer following on their heels. Gabby kept hold of Jasmine as she carefully closed the study door and faced her husband.

  “Hi,” she said tightly. “I don’t want any more surprises. I don’t mean that in a bad way, Andrew. I just can’t take on one more thing.” She thought about the full-time job offer and knew this wasn’t the time to discuss it.

  “Don’t you want to go out to dinner?” he asked. “I’m sorry. I thought I was helping.”

  “I know.” The road to hell and all that, she thought. “Look, you’re very sweet and I appreciate the effort, but I have a question. Why do we hire Cecelia?”

  “Because the twins are too young to be left on their own.” He frowned. “I don’t...” His expression cleared. “You’re not asking that, are you? You want to know why Makayla doesn’t babysit sometimes.”

  “Yes. She’s fifteen. She’s their sister. She needs to be a part of the family. She needs to be helping out. Things are better. I’m not complaining. I’m simply pointing out that she could do more.”

  Gabby set down the cat and faced him. “Andrew, I’m not doing well. Between the twins and the baby and my work and your travel, I’m being pulled in forty-seven directions at once. I need a break. I need help. I can’t do it all.”

  “So I should cancel Cecelia.”

  Gabby started to say yes, then shook her head. “No. Keep her. Order in a pizza for everyone.”

  “I don’t understand. Are we going out?”

  “No. I’m going to bed. I’m going to sleep. You and Cecelia can keep the twins busy. I’ll deal with all this in the morning.” She started to leave, then turned back. “Do you know how to feed the pets?”

  “Um...”

  It wasn’t his fault, she told herself. It was hers. For not asking for more. For not making him take responsibility. Just like the situation with Makayla. She’d been so careful to let Andrew take the lead. After all, the teen was his daughter.

  But not only his, she thought. Not anymore. Things had changed and they were going to change more. There was a lot to consider, but again, all that could wait until morning.

  “Makayla knows. Ask her.”

  “Gabby, are you okay?”

  “I will be. Just let me have tonight,” she told him. “Please. In twelve hours, I’ll be healed.”

  She left before he could say anything else. After putting on her pajamas, she closed the shades in the bedroom, turned on the overhead fan and climbed into bed. In the distance she heard conversation. She thought Kennedy was asking why Mommy couldn’t be with them. The need to sleep battled with comforting her daughter. She would get up and talk to her. In a second.

  When Gabby next opened her eyes, it was two in the morning and she desperately had to pee. She returned to the bed and settled back down. What seemed like seconds later, it was seven-thirty and light peeked from behind the shades.

  She rolled onto her back and stretched. She felt better, she admitted. Not healed, but definitely on the way to recovery. Things didn’t hurt so much. Her head was more clear.

  Andrew’s side of the bed was empty. Jasmine lay curled up on his pillow. Gabby knew he’d joined her in the night, so she wasn’t worried he’d slept on the sofa. Still, it was unusual for him to be up first.

  She collected her robe, brushed her teeth, then made her way downstairs. She heard the twins laughing at something and the low hum of the television. She walked into the kitchen and saw that the girls were already up and dressed. Andrew was as well, although he hadn’t showered. There was an open box of doughnuts on the table, along with several to-go containers of coffee and hot chocolate.

  “Good morning,” he said when he saw her. “How do you feel?”

  “Mommy!”

  The twins ran over and wrapped their arms around her. She hugged them back, savoring the feel of their lit
tle bodies so close to hers. Her babies, she thought happily. They were what mattered. Her children and her husband.

  She walked over to Andrew and kissed him on the mouth. “Much better. Thank you for letting me sleep. I needed it.”

  “I could tell. You barely stirred the whole night. I kept checking to make sure you were breathing.”

  “Afraid you’d be left alone with all this?” she asked, her voice teasing.

  Andrew didn’t return her smile. “No. I was worried about you. I love you.”

  The intense statement surprised her. She shifted so she could free an arm and held it open to him. Andrew joined the group hug.

  After breakfast Andrew showered, then took the twins to the park. Makayla made her way downstairs about nine. Gabby was sitting at the kitchen table, planning menus for the week. She looked up when the teen walked in.

  “Hey,” she said. “How are you feeling?”

  Makayla crossed to her and sat down next to her.

  “I’m sorry,” the girl said. “About not helping more. Dad talked to me last night.” She looked away, then back. “I didn’t mean not to help. I love Kenzie and Kennedy, you know. They’re sweet and fun. But even if they weren’t, I want to help.” Her chin raised. “I’m part of this family, too.”

  A thousand thoughts descended. Gabby realized that there was a part of Makayla that wasn’t sure where she belonged. The rejection of her mother had been devastating and with the baby and no friends and no Boyd, she was truly alone.

  Gabby took her hands in her own and squeezed her fingers. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I love you. I hope you know that and I’m sorry I haven’t said it enough.” Or at all, Gabby thought, suddenly feeling awful. “Makayla, you and I have been through a lot together. I learned how to be a mom with you. I know I made a lot of mistakes.” She smiled. “You’re right. We’re a family and sometimes that’s messy and sometimes it’s annoying but it’s forever. Your dad and I will always be here for you.”

  Makayla’s eyes filled with tears. “I know. It’s just everything is so awful. Gabby, please don’t make me have this baby.”

  Gabby drew her close and hugged her. “I’m sorry. You have to. You won’t be alone, but you’re carrying the baby to term.”

  Makayla began to cry harder. “I don’t want to.”

  “I know. We’ll figure it out. Together.”

  Makayla straightened and wiped her tears. “This is really hard.”

  “I know.” She hesitated. “Are you serious about not keeping the baby?”

  Makayla nodded. “I want to give it up for adoption.”

  “You have to be sure. You can’t go through the process, allow another couple to hope, then keep the baby at the last minute.”

  “I’m fifteen. I want to be normal again. I want to go to classes and hang out with my friends and do my homework. I can’t do that with a baby. I can’t do that now.”

  “Have you told your dad?”

  Makayla ducked her head. “I thought maybe you could talk to him.”

  “I will. About all of this. Then we’ll go meet with a lawyer. You can pick the family, if you want. The baby’s parents.”

  “I don’t want to know anything. I just want this never to have happened.”

  “Okay. I’ll talk to your dad when he gets home.”

  Makayla nodded, grabbed a doughnut and went back upstairs. Gabby watched her go. She understood that the teen was hoping that after the birth, it would be like it was before. Only life wasn’t that simple. There would be complications. She would talk to Andrew about that, too. How they were going to have to trade parenting classes for emotional counseling. Maybe for all of them.

  Later, when Makayla was outside playing with the twins, Gabby walked into Andrew’s study.

  He got up and joined her on the sofa.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked.

  “I’m fine. I was tired. I’m better now.”

  He didn’t look convinced. “I’m scared, Gabby. Whatever happens, I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Let that go. Please. I’m staying. We’re going to work this through.”

  He ran his hand through his hair. “I’ve been such an asshole. I was trying to make up for Candace’s rejection by giving in to Makayla. That didn’t help anyone. I taught her the wrong lesson and frustrated you. I was totally unreasonable on the pregnancy thing. You can’t give up your life.”

  “Funny how you’re saying that now.” Talk about irony.

  “Because she wants to give up the baby?”

  Gabby stared at him. “How did you figure that out? She asked me to talk to you, but there hasn’t been time yet.”

  “She wants you to talk to me rather than talk to me herself?” He swore. “Okay. Sure. She’s scared I’ll be disappointed in her. As for the adoption, it hasn’t been hard to guess where this is all going. She’s miserable at school, she has no friends anymore. Do you think we should send her to one of those unwed mother places? At least there no one would judge.”

  “Boarding school is the last thing Makayla needs,” Gabby said firmly. “She would only feel more rejected. I think we can make things work here.”

  “How?”

  “Give me a few days to figure it all out.” She looked at the man she loved and knew he wasn’t the only one who had screwed up. “I was wrong, too. I should have stood up to you more. I should have talked to you more, pushed back harder instead of letting you win by default.”

  “Like with the booster seats. I thought I was being nice, but instead I undermined you. I’m sorry, Gabby. I never meant for it to be like this.”

  She moved closer and he wrapped his arms around her. The feel of his warm, familiar body comforted her. Andrew had his faults, but they were the kind she could live with. He was, at heart, a good man and a father who loved his girls.

  “We’ll talk more,” he promised. “I’m going to work on not assuming I’m right all the time.”

  She laughed. “Now won’t that be nice.”

  He kissed her, his mouth lingering.

  “Tonight?” he asked.

  She smiled. “Always.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  “That is amazing,” Hayley said, her voice laced with awe. “I know you’re not a fan, but wow.”

  Nicole wrinkled her nose. “I hate Brad less these days. Although Jairus confuses the heck out of me.”

  They stood together in Tyler’s room. It was Saturday afternoon and her son was at a friend’s birthday party. Nicole had invited Hayley over for some girl time and they’d ended up here—looking at the nearly finished mural.

  “Tyler has got to love this.” Hayley walked to the wall and lightly traced Brad’s head. “It’s huge and colorful and his favorite character ever. So why are you freaked?” Hayley studied the painting. “Hmm, let me guess. Eric lived here all those years and was able to walk away with little more than a few boxes. You’ve known Jairus only four or five months and look how he’s left his mark on your house.”

  “Ouch,” Nicole murmured. “Can we at least pretend my problem is subtle and deserving of an elegant metaphor?”

  “Sorry. This one seems to be very on the nose. Am I wrong?”

  Nicole led the way back to her living room. “No. I wish you were, but no.”

  “Are you dying to paint over it?”

  “Every day. The cans are in the hall closet.”

  They sat on the sofa. Glasses of iced tea waited on the table, along with a plate of new pineapple Paleo muffins Nicole had made that morning.

  Hayley took a sip of her drink, then pointed at the muffins. “Are they gross?”

  “They’re weird, but not gross.”

  “You don’t need to lose weight.”

  “I know. I’m
just trying to eat more healthy.”

  “Good for you. I’d rather have chocolate.” Hayley put down her glass. “So what’s the problem?”

  Talk about the blunt question. “Jairus makes me uncomfortable.”

  “How and why?”

  Nicole resisted the urge to squirm. “He’s in love with me.”

  “That bastard!”

  “Stop it. You know what I mean. He’s nice. He’s affectionate. He shows up when he says, he’s good to Tyler. He painted a Brad the Dragon mural. He’s good in bed.”

  Hayley raised her eyebrows. “I want more details on that last one, but not now. We’re not getting distracted from the main point.”

  “I don’t want to think about the main point.”

  “Which is kind of the problem.” Hayley sighed. “So I’m just going to say it. Are you braced?”

  Nicole crossed her arms over her chest and drew in a breath. Before she nodded, she reminded herself that she’d wanted to talk to her friend for a reason. To figure out what was wrong. To understand the gnawing sense of panic that filled her whenever she thought about Jairus and her relationship and the future.

  “Go,” she said firmly.

  “You’re scared.” Hayley shrugged. “You picked Eric and he was a dud, so now you’re gun-shy. It’s hard to risk yourself, to give your heart. You’re older now, you have a son and a life. Jairus is too good to be true. He’s nice and sweet and funny and successful. What if he breaks your heart? What if he breaks Tyler’s heart?”

  “I know. I worry.”

  “Which makes you want to run. But here’s the thing, Nicole. The real problem isn’t what might happen. The real problem is you. You don’t think you deserve him. For whatever reason, you don’t believe you’re good enough.”

  Nicole scooted back on the sofa. Her face got hot and she didn’t know where to look. “That’s not true!”

  “It is.” Hayley’s voice was soft. “I don’t know if it’s because of your mom or how you never made it as a dancer or what, but you don’t believe in yourself. You have a successful business and a great kid and you own your own home. You’re amazing. But you don’t see that. It took you nearly six months to get the courage to buy a new car, even though you needed one and had the money. You’re so scared of getting it wrong, you retreat rather than go forward. You don’t try and therefore you lose out. It’s like when you need clothes. You buy used rather than new. Which is fine, except in your case, it’s a symptom.”