The Friends We Keep (Mischief Bay)

by Susan Mallery

  Hayley leaned forward. “You don’t have to start buying designer, but indulge yourself a little. You’ve earned it. Trust your judgment. I get playing it safe. I do, but men like Jairus don’t come around very often. Wouldn’t it be horrible to lose him just because you’re scared?”

  Nicole sank her teeth into her lower lip. Hayley was wrong. About all of it. Hayley didn’t understand. Nicole wasn’t like that. She couldn’t be. She was...

  “I’m a mess,” she admitted. “Oh, God. What if you’re right? I’m a total wreck.”

  “You’re not. Stop it. You can’t only hear the bad stuff. Conversations don’t work that way. You have to hear the good stuff, too. Look at all you’ve done. Have a little faith in yourself, Nicole.”

  Was that possible? Faith? Admitting the good stuff. She wasn’t sure why it terrified her, but it did.

  “If Jairus up and left today,” her friend said. “What would you do?”

  “I don’t know. Miss him. Help Tyler understand what had happened. Be hurt. Be mad.”

  “Would you sell your business?”

  “What? Of course not. That has nothing to do with him.”

  “And the house? You’d keep it?”

  Nicole saw where Hayley was going. “You’re saying that I would survive. That I would keep on with my life. That Jairus is great but he’s not the center of my universe.”

  “Something like that.”

  There was too much to think about. Too much to understand. It was all so confusing.

  “He loves you,” Hayley reminded her. “This I know for sure. Love doesn’t come along every single day. You have to make your own decisions, but if it were me, I’d hang on with both hands.”

  Hanging on was scary, but losing him was worse. Nicole sighed, then looked at the coffee table. “I have M&M’s in the pantry.”

  “A much better choice. See, you can do the right thing.”

  Nicole laughed. “I’m not sure picking M&M’s over a Paleo muffin is exactly the same as committing to Jairus.”

  “Maybe not, but it’s a start.”

  * * *

  “Thank God you’re here!” Morgan shouted and lunged forward. She clung to Hayley with amazing strength. “It was so horrible. He broke his leg and the bone was sticking out.”

  Hayley swallowed hard to keep her stomach from rebelling. Even without details, the image was plenty frightening.

  “What happened?”

  “Christopher was playing at school, hanging off the monkey bars and trying some stupid trick he saw on a video game.” Morgan pushed Hayley to arm’s length and glared at her. “A video game! They’re not people. They’re not even alive. But does he get that? Where’s Brent? He said he’d be right here.”

  “Breathe. There’s traffic. He’ll get here. What did the doctor say?”

  Morgan covered her face with her hands. “He needs surgery. They have to set his leg and he has to stay at least overnight. I can’t think.”

  “Where are the other kids?”

  “With Brent’s mother. I’m sure she’s using the time to turn them against me.”

  Hayley stifled a smile. Even in the middle of a disaster, Morgan maintained her sense of place in the world and knew what was important.

  “You’re a freak, you know that, right?” she asked.

  “Maybe, but you’re stuck with me.”

  Hayley nodded as she admitted, if only to herself, she could live with that. Her sister wasn’t perfect, but they were still family. No matter what.

  They sat down in the hospital waiting room. Morgan clutched her hand, squeezing occasionally. The frantic call had come just over an hour ago. Hayley had left work and come directly to the hospital. She thought about calling Rob, but he was busy with work. Brent would be here soon and he would take charge.

  Sure enough, not ten minutes later, Brent ran into the waiting room. He hurried directly to Morgan. She raced toward him and they hung on to each other.

  “Tell me everything,” Brent instructed.

  While Morgan explained what had happened to their oldest son, Hayley watched the couple. Gone was the tension and Morgan’s restlessness. For all her complaining, she loved her family. Maybe the crisis would draw them closer. Hayley hoped so.

  One emergency surgery, time in recovery and a bunch of drugs later, Christopher was finally in a room on one of the pediatric floors. Morgan and Brent had argued about who was going to stay with him. In the end, they decided they both would. Hayley had hugged them good-night and headed for the elevator.

  There were a lot of children in the hospital. She hadn’t realized the number. Of course it made sense. Kids got sick or injured. She passed rooms that were dimly lit, with parents hovering or asleep on cots. Some of the rooms were filled with balloons and stuffed animals. Others had drawings on the wall—as if the stay was a long one. Just past the elevator bank, she saw light spilling from a room.

  Giving in to curiosity, she eased in that direction and saw a boy sitting up in a bed. He was maybe nine or ten, bald and wearing a hospital gown. His room was empty. Oh, there was plenty of medical equipment, but no balloons, no stuffed animals.

  He was thin, with big brown eyes. As she stood in the doorway, he looked up from the book he was reading and smiled.

  “You’re working late.”

  “What?”

  “You’re from social services, right? I sometimes get late visits, but not this late.” He raised the bed a little more. “I can save you some time. Yes, the treatment is going well. Yes, I understand what they’re doing to me. The food is okay. Sometimes the nurses give me extra ice cream. When I can keep it down. I’m current with my schoolwork. Math is still my favorite subject, which is weird, so don’t tell anyone.”

  Hayley stepped into the room. “I’m not a social worker.”

  The boy chuckled. “So now you know too much about me. Who are you?”

  “Hayley. Who are you?”

  “Noah. Why are you here?”

  “My nephew fell and broke his leg. He had surgery. I was visiting and I saw the light on.”

  “Too bad for him. That’s gonna hurt.” Noah’s mouth twisted. “But he’ll be going home soon, right?”

  She nodded. “Can I sit down for a minute?”

  “Sure.” He pointed to one of the plastic chairs. “I don’t get many visitors.”

  “How come?”

  “I don’t have any family. I’m an orphan and I live in foster care.”

  His tone was casual, as if the information didn’t matter anymore. Hayley felt the words cut her like a knife.

  “I’m sorry.”

  One bony shoulder rose and fell. “Nothing I can do about it.”

  “How long have you been in the hospital?”

  “Awhile. I have a few more weeks. It’s cancer. Lymphoma. I don’t mind talking about it. My foster parents always whisper when they say it. Like it’s contagious. But it’s not. It’s the kind they can cure. Doing chemo sucks, but it beats the alternative.”

  “How old are you?”

  “Eleven.”

  He sounded so much older. Wise, even. He’d been through so much.

  “Do your foster parents come visit you?” she asked.

  “Naw. They’re busy. There are other kids and I can take care of myself.”

  Sadness swept through her, although she did her best not to show it.

  “What do you like to read?” she asked.

  “Everything. Adventure stories are my favorite. But I’m not picky. I’m a fast reader.” He glanced around as if making sure they were alone. “Don’t tell anyone, but I really like the Harry Potter books. Even though they’re for kids.”

  “You’re a kid.”

  Noah flashed her a smile. “Som
etimes. Did you know at the new theme park, they have a replica of the train? And you catch it from Platform 9—”

  “I didn’t,” she admitted. “I read the books, but I haven’t been to the park.”

  “I’m going,” Noah told her. “One day. You know, when I’m grown up.”

  Because there was no one to take him now. If his foster parents didn’t bother to visit, she was sure there was no way they would take him on vacation.

  She wanted to say she could help. That she and Rob would pay for the trip. But who would he go with? He didn’t have anyone.

  “What are you reading now?” she asked.

  He held up the book. “The Hunger Games. I’ve read it before. It’s good. Violent. I find it strange that there are so many books written about this country after a big disaster, but things are never better. Why is that? You’d think if there was a big war or something we’d learn our lesson and act right.”

  “That wouldn’t be a very interesting story.”

  “I guess not.”

  Hayley studied the boy on the bed. “Okay, this is going to sound totally weird and you can for sure say no, but would you like me to read to you for a bit?”

  Noah stared at her for a long time, then held out the book. “That would be nice.”

  * * *

  Despite the talk she’d had with Hayley, despite her promise to be strong, Nicole had come to the conclusion that there was only one solution to the Jairus problem. And that was not to see him anymore.

  She sat across from him at Latte-Da, their untouched lattes between them.

  “I have a bad feeling about whatever you want to talk about,” he told her. “Nicole, don’t.”

  “You have no idea what I’m going to say.”

  “I don’t have to. I can feel it. You’re scared. I get that. I’m scared, too. I haven’t been in love in a long time and I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I love you and I love Tyler. Don’t punish me for that.”

  If he wanted to hurt her, he’d found exactly the right words. “Jairus, there are a lot of things I have to consider.”

  “No. There aren’t. I know Eric hurt you. I know you’re worried about making another mistake. I know you have Tyler to consider. Don’t give up on us. Don’t walk away.”

  He stretched his arms toward her. “Nicole, I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you and grow old with you. I want to give you everything I have, be there for you.”

  His words hammered against her. They were wonderful and painful and while a part of her wanted to say yes, a thousand times yes, the rest of her said to run. To escape while she could, while neither she nor Tyler would be damaged.

  “I can’t,” she whispered.

  He put his hands on his lap. “Do you love me?”

  She hung her head. Was that what it came down to? “I don’t know.”

  “You said you do. Before. I think that’s what frightens you the most. Loving me. Knowing I’m not going anywhere. Because to make this work, you have to be all in and you’re not comfortable with that. You want to hold a piece of yourself back.”

  He rose and walked around to stand next to her. “I won’t accept that. I want everything you have, Nicole. No holding back. No excuses. Just your heart.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m not going anywhere. Take your time. I love you. That’s not going to change.”

  And then he was gone.

  She sat in front of her cooling drink and did her best not to cry. This was better, she told herself. This made sense. Being safe. Making the sensible decision. She and Tyler were fine on their own. If it was just the two of them, she could keep him safe. Yes, their world was smaller, but wasn’t it worth it? To be sure?

  She reached across the table. There was no one there to take her hand. No one to smile at her. To laugh. To say the right thing. She felt herself weakening. Jairus wasn’t Eric.

  But he also didn’t come with any guarantees. Eric had promised to love her forever. She would accept the divorce, but not that he’d walked away from his own son. That he’d sent papers from his lawyer so he never had to see Tyler again. Because it was too much trouble.

  She wanted assurances. She wanted to know and all Jairus could do was promise. In her world, a promise simply didn’t count. Not anymore.

  * * *

  “You can interview the families, if you’d like,” Amanda, an attractive fortysomething African-American woman, said. “We have several dozen in our files. You can pick your top two or three and we’ll go from there.”

  Gabby sat close to Makayla, her hand on the teen’s back. Her stepdaughter was tense and she had trouble meeting the adoption counselor’s gaze.

  “I don’t want someone close,” she said in a whisper. “I want a couple who lives on the other side of the country.”

  “Of course. That’s not a problem. Any other criteria?”

  Makayla shook her head. “Just that they’ll be good to the baby.” She sniffed. “Gabby and I went to the doctor yesterday. It’s a boy. Does that matter?”

  “No.” Amanda’s smile was kind. “Most of our prospective parents aren’t concerned about gender. But it’s nice that you know already.”

  Gabby hadn’t been sure Makayla would want to know but when the technician had asked if she was interested in the sex of the baby, the teen had said yes.

  “It doesn’t change anything for me,” Makayla said now. “I just wondered.”

  Amanda walked them through the process. They talked about how the parents would be chosen.

  “What we find works best is one or two meetings as soon as you have your finalists, then you make the choice. You can stay in touch with them through the rest of your pregnancy, if you’d like.”

  “They’ll be here when the baby is born?” Makayla asked.

  “They can be.”

  “I want them right there. I want them to take him as soon as he’s born.”

  Gabby moved her hand to Makayla’s lap. The teen gripped her fingers tightly.

  “I don’t want to see him.”

  Amanda nodded. “I understand. Now about the biological father. You mentioned something about him signing away his rights?”

  “I have the paperwork,” Gabby told her. “He has no problem with Makayla giving up the baby for adoption.” She’d phoned Boyd’s mother, just to be sure. “If there are more forms, he’ll take care of them.”

  “Then this should all go very smoothly. Let’s talk a little about a few of the couples we have who meet your preliminary criteria.”

  Gabby stayed close while Makayla looked through the folders of prospective parents. While she tried not to offer an opinion, Makayla kept looking at her and asking, “What do you think?” After a couple of hours, they’d narrowed the list down to three couples. One was from North Carolina, one from Florida and the last couple was in Maine.

  “I like them best,” Makayla said as she and Gabby walked to the car. “They both work for the forest service, so he’ll get to be outside a lot. I liked their letters, too.”

  Gabby nodded. “Hers especially.” The wife had gone through surgery while still a teenager and it had left her unable to have children. “Plus, they’re both from big families, so there will be lots of cousins to play with.”

  “It’s an important decision.” Makayla sounded tired. “I don’t want to make a mistake.”

  Gabby put her arm around her daughter. “You won’t. They’ve all been thoroughly vetted by the agency. Any one of the three would be a great choice. If you start with that premise, then it’s just the matter of which couple speaks to you the most.”

  Gabby unlocked the SUV.

  “Let’s talk to your dad tonight and get his opinion. The choice is yours, but maybe the three of us talking it out will help you decide.”
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  “I’d like that.” Makayla sighed. “I guess you should take me to school. I can still get to all my afternoon classes.”

  The girl’s obvious discomfort at the idea made Gabby want to protect her from the world. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to have to walk the halls of high school while pregnant. Talk about a nightmare.

  “Why don’t you take the afternoon off?” she offered. “You can get your assignments online and do them at home.”

  “Really?” Relief brightened her whole face. “That would be wonderful. Thank you.”

  “No problem.”

  Gabby got in the SUV and started the engine. As she drove out of the parking lot, she told herself this was it. She had to commit, one way or the other. Was she really willing to do it? Because once she committed, she couldn’t back out.

  She searched her heart and found only love for the teen next to her. As for her job, well, that had been a mistake. She’d been trying to recapture who she’d been when she’d quit. That woman was long gone. She needed to think about who she was now and what she wanted. Which was going to make for a very interesting conversation with Andrew later that day.

  Chapter Thirty

  Hayley hesitated outside the hospital room. She felt nervous, which was silly. She was bringing lunch to a sick kid, nothing more. Well, that wasn’t true. In addition to the burger, fries and a milk shake he’d requested, she’d brought a stack of books. Still, what if Noah didn’t want to talk to her?

  She drew in a breath, squared her shoulders and walked into his room.

  “Hi, Noah.”

  The boy looked up and grinned when he saw her. “Hayley. I wasn’t sure you’d come back.”

  “I said I would, didn’t I? Plus, what was I going to do with this?” She held up the bag from Gary’s Café. “As requested, a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake.”