Sounds of Yesterday

by Pacheco, Briana

  “What would you say if I told you that I bought a house?” Alex asks over dinner.

  I look up for my plate of pasta and shrimp, locking eyes on the handsome man sitting in front of me. We’re at a nice Italian restaurant that Liam won’t shut up about. Meaning, I’m wearing something that I never wear, a dress. With sexy shoes.

  “I’d call you a smart man but we wouldn’t want to inflate your ego.” I smirk, and set down my fork. “Did you?”

  Alex plays with his rolled up sleeves and nods, looking down at the table before looking back up. “I’m always thinking about the future so…” A blush creeps up his neck and that boyish grin of his turns me into Jell-O. We’ll be here for a few more years of our lives. I understand why he’d want a house. Shit, I’m pretty sure all college students would prefer a house of their own instead of the dorm rooms, living with strangers. “It makes sense since I’ll be here for med-school.”

  Hold up!

  “Alex.” I sit up straighter, shaking my head. “No. Your dream is Harvard Med.” I will not be okay with him ditching another school of his choice because of me. Because I don’t want to ever go back to Boston. He already gave up Princeton. We both did. I still feel like shit that our lives took a detour and I wanted to get away from him. The U is amazing but my dream–our dream–was Princeton. Ever since I saw A Cinderella Story when I was younger, well, the school stuck in my head and I’ve loved researching it ever since.

  “I’ve already looked into it and the Miller School of Medicine is a great school.”

  “You’re not staying in Florida.”

  Alex’s eyebrows shoot up. “I wasn’t aware that you owned this state.”

  “Stop being a dick. You’re going to Harvard when you’re done here.”

  “Em, dreams change. I don’t give a shit about Harvard. I can go anywhere.”

  “So you choose here!”

  The people to our right turn their heads and eye us.

  I sink into my seat and lower my voice.

  Jesus, when did I stop whispering? Every time I speak in a restaurant, people glance back at me.

  “Is this because of me and my father? Is the university forcing Miller on you so our records aren’t touched? They’re pimping you out, aren’t they? You go to Miller and they’ll get so much attention because of who you are?”

  It’s a never-ending cycle of me ruining lives, crushing dreams.

  Alex shakes his head and reaches for my hand.

  “The board was happy with the money. It’s done. I want to go to Miller. I want to stay in Florida. I want you to move in with me once this year is done.”

  “What?” I blink back tears and try to understand what he’s saying because all I’m hearing is he’s giving up Harvard for me.

  “I had this night planned out, Emily. We talk about the future. I’ll show you the house. And I swear you’ll love everything you hear.”

  “Clearly not.”

  “Trust me.”

  I go back to my food and clear my plate. Talking to Alex right now doesn’t seem fun.

  Before we head back to the dorms, Alex and I take a taxi toward Liam’s parents’ street. Alex holds my hand and squeezes it every few seconds, slowly making my annoyance with our conversation fade away. When the taxi comes to a stop, and I see the ‘for sale’ sign with ‘SOLD’ taking the place on top, I turn my head toward Alex with my mouth hanging open.

  “This isn’t a house, this is a freaking mansion.”

  Alex chuckles and nods. “It has ten bedrooms, ten baths, lots of space. Soph and Zach already agreed to move in once this year is over.” My eyes become the size of discs. They did what? Why does everyone know things before me?! Why do they keep all the secrets? Why are my friends so mean?! “Liam and Tyler would love to move in too. And McKenna kind of demanded a room for when she visits.”

  “So me moving in…” It wouldn’t be something huge. It’d be the perfect amount of time to adjust to this life. Oh, this is so nice to hear. I like taking things slow. Moving in with someone is huge. Moving in with your friends…in a mansion…I’ll have my own space. Because you know, everyone needs their own space every once and a while.

  “You can have your own room if you want. Just know that I’d love having you sleep in mine. All of us living here would be so cost efficient for everyone.” Um, because we’re all poor? Who is he fooling? “We’d have our own privacy yet still be with everyone. It’s where we’ll all live before we become real adults and buy places of our own.”

  I take a deep breath and look out the window again, staring at the place where our futures will form.

  “Liam’s mom is designing your music room,” Alex adds. “With your very own grand piano.” He knows what to say to get me thinking about this. But it’s all material things. I don’t need a music room or a piano. I just need a place where I’ll feel safe. I need a place where Alex wants to be instead of needs to be. “What do you say?”

  This house, no this fortress, is calling my name and it’ll be a damn shame to turn it down.

  I turn back towards Alex. “Promise me one thing.”

  “Anything.”

  “This is what you really want?” I question.

  “More than anything.”

  I close my eyes and squeeze his hand. “Promise me that once we graduate, you’ll think of every med-school out there and choose what is best for you. Promise me that I won’t cloud your judgment.”

  Alex slides his hand up my arm and cups the side of my face, running his thumb up and down my cheek.

  “I’m going to be wherever you are because there is no world I’d want to live in where you’re not right there with me. So, I can’t promise that you won’t cloud my judgment because you do, every second of ever hour. But I promise I’ll choose what is best for me.” He leans in and presses his lips against mine softly. “Starting with you.”

  Chapter 26

  Seeing my father standing outside of Eaton does something weird to my insides. I’m still not sure how to describe it other than it feels like a very sad song playing for a few minutes before it hits its crescendo. It’s entrancing. It lifts your spirits but makes you wary of what emotion is going to be possessed next. I always wish for a glimmer of hope.

  My father stands tall once he hears me coming, his blue eyes locked on mine.

  “Hi,” I murmur.

  He called me and asked if I can come down and speak to him for a second. I agreed because even though we’re not the best of friends, we can be civil. I watch the skies for a second, trying to determine if the rain will come anytime soon. It’s almost February and this heat makes me wish for rain. It’ll also hurry this conversation up so we’re not standing here longer than we need to.

  David shifts on his feet and looks off to the side, watching students walk by, lost in their own worlds. He clears his throat and nods, probably trying to reassure himself of what he’s going to say next.

  “I haven’t slept well since that day you told me about…” he stuffs his hands into his cargo shorts pockets, clearing his throat, “what happened,” he finishes.

  The rape? I mentally wonder.

  He must see the question in my eyes because he nods.

  “I spoke to your mother and the only information I got was that you never reported it.”

  I nod and look down at my flip-flops.

  What good would reporting it do? His father basically owns that city. He’s friends with everyone. Pierce is loved and worshiped by everyone else because he’s almost as good as Lyle Thompson who is a professional lacrosse player at the young age of twenty-three. Pierce is getting the same attention. Or at least, he was back in high school.

  “I took care of it,” my father says softly.

  My head shoots up and the horrified expression I have is erased when he continues speaking.

  “He’s not dead, if that’s what you thought I meant.”

  I did. I seriously thought my father, the man that abandoned us more than eleve
n years ago, killed a man because he violated me.

  “We have connections back in North Carolina and well, believe it or not, Duke hates that piece of shit with a passion. He walks around like he’s a king and–”

  “I really don’t want to know about his life,” I whisper.

  “Right. Sorry.” David bites his lip and takes a deep breath. “Only thing going for him was lacrosse. So I took that from him.” His eyes, so much like my own, stare into mine and they soften. “I’ve never done anything for you and Declan. I needed to do this.”

  “What did you do?”

  We stare at each other in silence for what seems like days. Time slows and every possible thought crosses my mind. To take a sport from someone, or to take someone from a sport, is not easy.

  “He took a hard hit while training. Let’s just leave it at that.”

  “David.”

  He waves a goodbye and turns to walk away. “Take care, Emily.”

  “David?”

  When he doesn’t turn back, I run into my building and bang on Alex’s door. Sophie answers and lets me in. Everyone is sitting around on beds or on chairs, doing homework so that by tomorrow, the weekend will be free to do whatever we like.

  “I need someone to see what happened to Pierce!”

  All five heads turn to me but only three pairs of eyes look at me like I was just abducted. They have every right to look at me like that because I would never, ever, ever bring Pierce into a conversation asking about his personal life. He can go die for all I care. He’s nothing to me. He’s a goddamn monster and I pray that whatever happened to him will destroy his life like he did mine.

  “Who’s Pierce?” Tyler asks quizzically.

  Alex waves his hand around, shutting his best friend up. His eyes try to decipher what I’m asking. Why I’m doing this.

  Zach shuts his laptop and stands, looking at Alex for a tip on what to do. He should be looking at me because I’m asking them to do this for me. I physically can’t. I can’t type in his name and read something that involves him. I need someone to tell me.

  “Please.”

  Sophie grabs the nearest laptop. “I got it.” She starts typing away, looking up at me a few times with sad, worried eyes. She stops tying and clicking, her body stiffening.

  “What happened?” I ask.

  Everyone turns to Sophie.

  Sophie brushes back loose red strands of hair and bounces her green eyes back and forth between the screen and me. Her mouth opens but no words come out.

  Zach walks up to her and takes the laptop, reading what she did.

  He finally starts letting words leave his mouth.

  “‘Three days ago, Blue Devils player, Pierce Hopkins, took a major hit while training for their upcoming game next week.’ Sources say no one saw what happened but they do know that one minute Hopkins was running for the ball and the next he was on the floor with a fellow teammate on top of him. Hopkins is reported to have serious injuries to the lower part of his spinal cord.” Zach’s eyes lock on mine then he goes back to reading. “The team says he tried to intercept the other guys catch so it’s clearly his own fault that he can’t walk now.”

  “He can’t walk.” I say the words out loud but they don’t seem to settle down in my head. The guy who raped me can’t walk anymore. My father is the reason why. How did he get this done? Who could take someone’s life into his or her own hands and hope for something other than death while planning an injury? “Who’s the other player?”

  “Uh…Palmer. Anthony Palmer.”

  “Does he know my father?”

  “Hang on.” Zach starts typing now.

  “What’s going on?” Alex asks me.

  “David…he said…” I shake my head and rub my eyes. Tyler and Liam are in here. They don’t know anything about Pierce. But they’re Alex’s best friends. They know some of our secrets. They’re trustworthy. I know they are. I feel it. They’re good people. “He took care of Pierce because of what he did to me.”

  Both Tyler and Liam turn to look at me and there’s a moment where I see the wheels in their heads turning but then they look away, staring at my friends, unmoving.

  “There’s nothing about Anthony and your father but there is something about your father and Anthony’s cousin.” Zach turns the laptop to me and I see a photo of my father and a woman in her mid to late thirties embraced in his arms. The same woman who I saw one day and my father said I was just his student.

  They look so happy, so in love.

  That’s his fiancée.

  My father found a way to help me even though I never asked for it.

  I know I should be scared or feeling something deep down about how this happened to Pierce but I’ll say it again because it’s true, Pierce can die for all I care. Lacrosse was his life. He’ll never play again. I still have my music. Pierce ruined my life and made senior year of high school unbearable. Being bullied all my life was hard already but they needed more fuel to add to the fire. Now watch who is going to burn.

  I still get to do the thing I love.

  Sophie walks toward me and wraps her arms around me tight.

  “It’s not wrong to feel happy about this. He deserved whatever he had coming.”

  I nod into her neck and try to come to terms with everything I’m hearing.

  “Zach left out the fact that his accident happened on his birthday.”

  I pull back and whatever feelings I’m holding in dissolve with this new piece of information. My hand flies to my mouth and I cover the laugh slash scream wanting out.

  This is fate, I guess.

  Karma’s a bitch.

  “He has nothing.” Tears stream down my face but a smile breaks out on my face. “God, I want to feel bad but it’s him.” I wipe my cheeks and fan my face. Sophie blows air at me and matches my smile.

  “I prefer him in jail or dead but this…fuck, this makes me want to do backflips in front of him and end it with a big ol’ ‘fuck you!’ cheer.”

  “I’d say, ‘happy birthday, motherfucker,” I add. “It seems right.”

  Sophie takes me into her arms again and gives me a little shake. “Fuck that motherfucking cocksucker. I hope he eats shit and then shits himself every day for the rest of his life.”

  “You’re so vulgar.”

  “That’s what he does to me.” Sophie slaps my butt and adds, “Now, lets go for a thirty second run and then power walk over to Panda Express. We need food to digest this new information.”

  “Deal.”

  We detach and I fling myself into Alex’s waiting arms.

  I never really liked hugs but right now, I want to hug everyone in this room.

  This is what it must feel like to put a bad person behind bars.

  Because whatever happens next, it is exactly what Pierce will feel like he’s in.

  Epilogue

  Three years later…

  I feel a light brushing against my side. I groan, telling the person to leave me alone. I hear a snicker. I groan again when the brushing is back, this time moving up my bare body.

  I’m sleeping face down, my hair all over the place, and I don’t want to wake up just yet.

  “Wake up,” Alex whispers into my ear. He leans into my body, giving me some of his warmth. “I want to show you something.”

  “I’ve already seen your dick, thank you very much,” I rasp.

  I move my free hand up and swat his hand away. To lessen the blow, I turn and snuggle up against him. Ever since all of us moved into this house, Alex and I have shared this bedroom, sleeping with our limbs thrown over the other. Alex says I kick him. He should be thankful that my body wants to make contact with his while I’m dreaming.

  “Go back to sleep,” I add.

  “It’s noon. Our flight leaves in five hours. We have things to do.” Alex kisses my head and wraps his arm around me. “Open those big, beautiful eyes of yours. Come on.”

  I shake my head, smiling to myself.

  He a
lready got me to speak. I’m awake.

  I’ll pretend otherwise.

  We’re going on a trip to Europe and as much I want to go, this bed is comfier than the thought of walking so…a few more minutes.

  With spring classes ending last week, Alex decided he was going to steal me away and take me on my trip that he promised so long ago. School kept us busy and with only one year left until I graduate, I’ll say I deserve this break. I’ve already been asked to compose a few film scores after my friends started uploading my music online. Having people want me because of my music is a dream of mine. I never wanted to be a professional piano player but a film score, hell yes I’ll do it! That’s all the fame I’ll take. I don’t want more.

  Alex decided on a gap year before he enters medical school so we’re the only ones who have school to think about in the near future. Everyone else graduated a few days ago and are enjoying the free time being young and wild.

  Sophie is having the most fun, I’ll say. Zach proposed to her after she was handed her diploma. Having their families and me there to witness it at the same time was magical. I haven’t been back home in years so I was constantly thinking about when that moment was going to come. It was so hard keeping it from Soph. She would talk about getting married non-stop last year. And baby-fever. She’s having lots of baby-fever. I knew babysitting Sallie’s kids would eventually do that. Those kids are just the cutest. They’ve been helping me compose a song that doesn’t seem to leave my head and is very difficult to get down on paper. It plays on repeat and the only time I seem to know which notes to write down is when Scarlett yells at her brothers to stop making so much noise so she can think. I love the chaos of the Rhodes’ household. Their noise sounds like music to me.

  “What’s got you smiling?” Alex asks, breaking my wandering mind.

  I pull back and open my eyes.

  “Babies.”

  Alex’s brows rise and he stares at me with a quizzical look.

  I smile and fall onto my back.

  “Music. Scar and the boys. Everything.”

  I stretch and sink into my pillow again.