What The Heart Wants

by Gadziala, Jessica

  “Why does it change things? You were seeing me and him at the same time.”

  “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I dunno… I don’t see him the same way anymore.”

  Eric shook his head, smirking. “Because he is human? Not the angelic character everyone makes him out to be? I don’t know where that reputation came from. He’s bedded his fair share of women. After he and Hannah…”

  Anna’s hand slapped down on his leg, cutting him off. “Her name was Hannah.”

  Eric’s eyebrows drew together. “It has to be someone different. Hannah was his middle and high school sweetheart. They broke up when she moved away years ago. What did she look like?”

  “Long black hair, like really long. Big gray eyes and these…” she held her hands out over her chest, indicating much larger breasts.

  Eric snickered. “Yeah that’s Hannah. Look,” he said, leaning forward. “I don’t think its what you think it is.”

  “How do you know? Maybe she changed her mind after all these years. Maybe she’s back. And I mean… they have history. I could never compete with that.”

  “If Hannah was back for good, I would have heard about it by now. Her parents live around here. There’s no way they would keep that from everyone.”

  “Well then why was she in Sam’s house?”

  Eric sighed, leaning back on the couch again, looking at the ceiling. “Best guess? Something is wrong.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They grew up together. If something went really wrong in her life, I think she would come back to Sam. He would be the only one to let her stay without pestering her.”

  Anna leaned backward next to him. It made sense, perhaps. Sam was definitely the kind of person you go to when you’re in trouble. It was who she went to when she was in trouble.

  “How’d she look?” Eric asked, looking at her sideways, his gray eyes reminding her of Hannah’s. “Knocked up?”

  “No,” she spurted. “ No she was gorgeous,” she said bitterly and Eric laughed. “Thin… half-naked.”

  “Thin?” Eric asked, his eyebrows drawing together.

  “Yeah. I dunno. Not small like…”

  “Like you,” Eric supplied.

  “Yeah not like me, but she’s taller. I dunno she was thin. Maybe like a size four I guess.”

  Eric’s eyes watched her for a moment. “She’s never been thin,” he said, looking almost concerned. “It’s why she was so pretty, she had flesh in all the right places.”

  Anna shrugged. “Guess she went on a diet.”

  “Or she needed Sam’s help more than we realize. Trust me, the girl was not in any need of going on a diet. Last I heard she got some job at a huge company in the city. EM something.”

  “EM Corporation,” Anna asked, her brows rising. “That’s a fortune five-hundred company. That’s a huge deal.”

  “Yeah I guess,” Eric shrugged. “Maybe she burned out.”

  They sat in silence for a moment, Anna working scenarios around in her mind. On one hand there was her initial thought, Hannah and Sam were getting back together. And like she said to Eric, she could never compete. No one could get between a lifetime of inside jokes and mutual support. Plus she was obviously ridiculously accomplished if she worked at such a huge company. She would be a real equal companion to Sam with his own successful life.

  Then there was Eric’s idea. Hannah was back because she needed somewhere to stay to get her life back on track. The possibility made her feel guilty for reacting so rashly. If the woman was hiding away from something, of course Sam would be there for her. He was just that kind of guy. Good. He was always just so… good.

  Eric patted her arm, drawing her back from her musings. “So are you gonna give him a chance to explain?”

  Anna sighed. She should have let him explain when he chased her down. Why did she always have to assume the worst in people?

  “Let me rephrase that,” Eric said, shaking his head at her. “you’re going to give him a chance to explain.”

  “You know what I think?” Anna said after being silent a while.

  “What?”

  “I think you’re just as good a guy as he is.”

  Eric scoffed. “God don’t let that get around.”

  “Why not? I think it would be nice if everyone could see in you what I do.”

  Eric closed his eyes at her words, like they hurt. “If you let people think you’re a good person, they build up their expectations. And you will let them down eventually. This is a small town, baby, and the people have known you since you were in diapers. They don’t hesitate to tell you how much you let them down.”

  “So its better for them to think of you as some kind of heartless jerk?”

  “Something like that,” he shrugged, then reached for her hand. “The people that really matter know otherwise.”

  Anna smiled at him, understanding for the first time but not feeling any less like it would do the town as a whole a lot of good if they understood him better. She leaned her head against his shoulder for a moment before sitting up straight. She couldn’t use him. Not for comfort. Not for physical comfort when she wasn’t interested in him.

  Who would have ever thought that little, shy, unimportant, average Anna Goode would be the one person to get into Eric O’reilly’s heart?

  “So there’s some rich guy in town,” Eric said a moment later as the silence drug on.

  “There are quite a few rich families in the town, aren’t there?”

  “Yeah but this was some outsider. He’s staying at the inn. I caught Maude talking to him earlier.”

  “I never thought of you as the gossip type,” she teased.

  Eric shrugged. “He has a nice car.”

  Sylvester jumped up on the couch, shooting her a strange haughty look that only cats possess before moving to plop down on Eric’s chest. He stroked her coat absentmindedly and her paws kneading into him.

  “She has claws,” Anna said, looking worried.

  Eric smiled. “It’s not that bad. Anyway, what’s the plan?”

  “What plan?”

  “For making amends with Sam?” At her stunned looked, he winked at her. “I’m trying to be a good… friend here. Work with me. It’s foreign territory.”

  “I don’t have a plan,” she shrugged.

  “Alright, so let’s make a plan,” he said, starting to stand. Sylvester hissed, trying to hold onto him. He pulled her underneath his arm and started to walk toward her room.

  “What are you doing?” she asked, walking behind him.

  “We are going to pick you out something to wear. Like that little black number you wore for me. A different dress though, that would be… wrong. In fact that dress should be thrown away. Or burned.”

  Anna sat down on her bed and he tossed Sylvester beside her. The cat looked over at her as if she was the one who dropped her.

  “Oh god, woman,” Eric said, already deep in her closet. “do you wear anything but tank tops and yoga pants?”

  “Hey there’s jeans and flannel tops in there too.”

  “You’re making it worse.”

  “There’s a duffel bag at the bottom. There might be a couple things my mother bought me in there. I’ve never worn any of it, but she buys it regardless.”

  Eric dragged the bag out, putting it on the floor by her feet and reaching in. The first thing he pulled out was a red and white lace thong. He held it up to her. “Your mother has good taste,” he grinned.

  Anna snatched the barely-there swatch of fabric away from him. “She believes clothes give you confidence.”

  Eric pursed his lips. “I can see that,” he said, pulling it from her again and laying it on the bed. “Did she happen to buy a matching bra?”

  Anna nodded reluctantly and Eric dug around until he found it and placed it next to the thong. “Well that does it for lingerie,” he said, sitting down in front of the duffel bag. “Everything in here still has a tag on it.”

  “My
mom and my taste differ completely.”

  “Well your mother has the right taste for seducing a man.”

  “I am not seducing anyone,” she objected.

  Eric looked up at her, his gray eyes amused before he pulled out a few dresses from the bag. He eventually stood, holding up a white dress in front of him. “This one,” he decided.

  Anna looked at it with lowered brows. “Seriously?”

  It was a pretty dress made of flowing thin material. It had thick shoulder straps and a low, square neckline. It was pulled snug up under the bust then draped downward, almost to the floor. Grecian, her mother had called it when she opened it.

  “Yeah,” he said setting it down on the bed. “Trust me,” he said and she could see the desire in his eyes, the wish that she would be wearing it for him.

  Eighteen

  It took her all day to talk herself into it. The dress and bra and panties were all laid out on her bed, waiting for her to find her nerve. She carefully showered, dried her hair, and applied a little makeup. She dug around to try to find a pair of shoes that would match. All she found was red flip-flops but she slipped them on figuring they would just have to do.

  Finally as the sun was going down, she slipped into the bra and panties then pulled the dress on. She turned carefully in the mirror, realizing that maybe her mother had been right. She did feel more confident.

  She walked slowly toward his house, the night air unseasonably cool, helping soothe her frazzled nerves. She reached the back door more quickly than she would have liked. She knocked on the door a few times but heard no response.

  With a deep breath, she let herself in. “Sam,” she called into the quiet of the house.

  He came carefully into the kitchen, barefoot on the tile. He had been showering, she realized. His hair was wet and his white and red flannel shirt was unbuttoned completely over his jeans. His eyebrows drew together. “Anna,” he said her name, a strange whisper. is everything alright?”

  Anna felt her stomach fluttering with nervous energy. She could do this. She just needed to relax and do it. “I need your help,” she said, quietly, trying to stand up straight and keep eye contact.

  Sam stepped closer, concern growing across his features. “Of course,” he said automatically. Good, reliable Sam. “with what?”

  Anna took a long, deep breath and closed the gap between them. Her hand reached out, grabbing one of the open sides of his shirt and going up on her tippy-toes. “With this,” she said, a smile playing on her lips for a second before she put a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down to her, kissing him. A slow, lingering kiss.

  She went down onto the flats of her feet, watching as his eyes slowly opened. His eyebrows drew downward, the side of his mouth quirky up in a confused smile.

  “Well,” he said, sounding winded. “I think I can help with that,” he said, his arms going around her waist, pulling her rough against his chest and up on her toes. His mouth came down on hers, hungry and demanding. Anna felt her nerves settle into the background. Her arms went up around his neck.

  Sam’s hands dipped lower, grabbing her ass and hauling her upward. Her legs automatically went around his hips and back, holding on. Then they were moving, Sam effortlessly holding onto her and climbing up the stairs, his mouth trailing kisses down her neck.

  He set her on her feet next to the bed, taking a step back and looking down at her. His hand reached out, touching the fabric of her dress down her side. She squirmed, laughing as his fingers tickled across her ribs.

  Sam smiled at her, reaching both hands out to grab the fabric, rouching it up in his hands and pulling it up and over her head quickly.

  Anna felt the cool of the air conditioning prickle her overheated skin. She felt the urge to bring her hands up, cover the lingerie that, to her, seemed to scream sex.

  Sam had a ghost of a smile on his lips. “God, you’re beautiful,” he said and she felt the words melt into her skin. Then he stepped back a foot and grinned. “Okay, spin.”

  Anna’s head snapped back, surprised. “What?”

  “Spin,” he said again. “This is the kind of lingerie that needs to be seen from all angles. Spin.”

  Anna’s eyes went wide. God, she had a thong on for goodness sakes. But Sam was standing there, patient and expectant. She shook her head slightly and turned in a quick circle.

  She was graced with one of his big, lopsided smiles. He closed the space between them, his hands snaking around her back and grabbing her exposed ass cheeks. “This looks good on you,” he said, his mouth against her ear. “But I think it would look better off.”

  Anna smiled, shaking her head. “Nope,” she said, teasingly.

  Sam straightened, looking down at her. “No?”

  “Nope,” she said again. “First,” she said, reaching up toward his shoulders, she slipped her hands under the fabric, sliding it down. Sam let his arms fall out, his eyes on hers. Then she reached for his jean button, quickly undoing it and the zipper. Her hands went to his hips, tugging downward. Sam smiled, stepping out of the legs.

  Anna took a long moment looking him over. His strong shoulders, broad chest. His muscles on his belly, twitching slightly as he breathed. The barely noticeable light brown strip of hair that started below his belly button and disappeared into his boxer briefs. His erection was pushing against the thin fabric and Anna felt her core tighten with desire.

  “Okay,” she said, sounding almost breathless to herself.

  Sam reached around her, unclasping her bra and pulling it off of her. His hands trailed down her sides to the lacy outline of her panties. He grabbed the thin fabric between his fingers and slowly slipped them downward.

  As she stepped out of the fabric, Sam’s hands found her waist. He picked her up again, turning so he was sitting off the end of the bed. Anna lowered her hips against him, feeling the tip of his hardness.

  His hands gently stroked down her back, flaring out toward the sides of her hips every time his hands went down. Anna felt her eyes closing, enjoying the contact, his hands stilling her nerves.

  Sam leaned forward, kissing her gently on the lips. Anna pushed against him, her breasts brushing against the hair on his chest. “We could stop,” he said, his voice rough.

  Anna leaned back to look down at him, a smile on her lips. “I don’t want to,” she said, her hips dropping down on his waist, her soft center pressing against his hardness.

  Sam growled in the back of his throat, twisting with her so that she was laying on the mattress.

  His mouth went down to her breast, taking the tip into his mouth and sucking. His hand went to her other breast, gently rubbing over the peak. Anna arched up into him. He shifted, taking her other nipple into his mouth for a moment before trailing down her belly. His warm breath sent shivers through her body.

  Then, in one quick motion, his tongue was buried in her wetness, stroking quickly. Anna moaned at the frantic contact, grabbing onto his shoulders. His tongue moved upward, found her clit and ran over it in quick horizontal motions. Her legs moved to slide over his back, but his hands reached out to grab her ankles. His head lifted suddenly, playing kisses up her body. His hand disappeared down his back, pulling the fabric of his underwear down and off his body.

  Anna felt a strong, primal fear settle deep in her stomach. She wasn’t sure she was truly ready. How would he even fit inside of her? It was going to hurt more than her mother had even warned her about, she knew it.

  “Anna,” Sam’s voice broke through her whirlwind of thoughts. “anytime you want to stop, you just say so.”

  Anna nodded, not meeting his eyes.

  Sam’s body weight shifted as he moved off of her, laying on his side next to her. “We are going to take this slowly,” he said, his voice gentle. His hand came out, running feather-light circles over her belly. Anna closed her eyes against the contact, murmuring as she felt her desire for more build within her.

  Sam’s fingers dipped lower, playing the circles
over her hips then the tip of her sex, then her inner thighs.

  One of his fingers moved closer, gently teasing the outside folds of her sex. It inched closer to the sensitive inside, dipping the tip over but moving back. Her fingers dug into the sheets, frustrated. Then one finger slipped between, stroking her wetness. Anna’s body jerked, a gasp escaping her.

  “This okay?” Sam asked, his finger toying with her clit.

  Anna turned her face to his, her eyes opening. “Mmhmm.”

  Sam’s eyes closed for a second before opening to look at her again. His finger moved away from her clit, running downward. It stopped at the entrance, moving in slow circles. She felt slight pressure for a second and then the tip of his finger slip inside. Her eyes went wide.

  Sam’s finger stopped just inside, barely penetrating her. “How about this?”

  Anna felt pressure building inside her knowing he was finally touching on the need she had buried deep. “Yeah,” she said, breathing deeply.

  “Good,” he smiled weakly. Then his fingertip was moving inside her, working in slow circles just inside the entrance. Anna’s hips rose up slightly as she moaned. Sam’s finger slipped deeper inside, her tight flesh stretching around him.

  “Oh my god,” Anna moaned, grabbing Sam’s hip in her hand.

  Sam smiled, his finger slowly slipping all the way inside.

  Anna’s legs drew together, holding him deep inside. His finger wiggled gently back and forth. She felt a strange sharp pressure at the contact and her hips jerked.

  She looked at him, her brows drawn together. Sam kissed her forehead. “Sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m just trying to get your body… ready,” he said and she realized he meant for his hard length which was infinitely wider and longer than his finger.

  She nodded, resting her face against his shoulder as his finger worked in circles, small at first and then wider. After a moment, the sharpness dulled, replaced with a building pleasure. Groaning against his skin, Sam kissed her hair. “Better?” Anna nodded. “Good.”

  Then his finger was moving in and out of her, slowly and her mind went blank. Her leg went over Sam’s, her hips moving back and forth as his finger thrust in and out of her more quickly. She felt it building. A different kind of feeling, stronger than she had felt before.