The Fifth Gospel

by Grubb, Michelle

  Even though sleep was impossible, she did stuff her bag against the door and lean into it, pulling her knees to her chest. Barely a second passed before she thought of Flic. The thoughts both excited and terrified her. Perhaps it was the reason she distracted herself for so long annoying the officers with unreasonable and idiotic questions; alone with her thoughts meant alone with Flic, and alone with Flic meant so many things. At the forefront of her mind was the thought process that began developing since confiding in Seb. Her sexual experience was limited. Her desires, even more limited, but the sudden change was sending her around the bend. Sexual thoughts of Flic filled her mind if she let them. And on every occasion, she was quick to remind herself that they weren’t dirty. The thoughts she was experiencing were tender, loving, sensual, and like nothing she had allowed in the past. The growing knot of warmth that consumed her had to be love. There was no other explanation, so why on earth would God deny her of that? It was possible that the church would deny her, but not God. Surely not God.

  The journey was almost unbearable it was taking so long. The winding road, of which the driver seemed determined to utilize both sides of, was making her feel nauseous, and she wished they could stop for something to eat. She hadn’t seen Flic in weeks, but this morning had felt like living days for hours, hours for minutes, and minutes for seconds. The destination was unknown and so was the end to her torture.

  *

  A petrol station with a small cafe and steamy windows was enough to lift Flic’s spirits. At this stage, she didn’t really care what she ate, but coffee was a non-negotiable.

  “Here, put this on.” Barney tossed a scarf over the seat. “And pull your hood up. The toilet is inside here, so you’ll have to get out, but I’ll order food for you so you won’t have to go to the counter, okay?”

  Flic nodded and tucked the scarf into the neck of her jumper and pulled her hood on. A quick glance in the rearview mirror suggested she looked more tired and cold than a person being driven to their second safe house because the first one was compromised only hours before. She ordered an egg and bacon roll, a bag of crisps, a doughnut, a croissant, and a strong coffee. Barney lifted his eyebrows.

  She shrugged. “If I stopped eating every time I was stressed lately, I’d be dead.”

  “You keep eating that shit and you’ll be dead anyway.”

  “What are you having?”

  Barney smiled. “Same as you.” He pointed. “Bathroom’s over there. Ethan will take you back to the car when you’re done.”

  Ethan lingered outside, far enough away from the petrol station to safely smoke a cigarette and close enough to keep an eye on things.

  It had been so long since Flic had eaten a big breakfast like this that she felt ill as she stuffed the last of her crisps into her mouth. The doughnut was for later, and she scrunched the top of the paper bag to keep the sugar from spilling everywhere. The coffee wasn’t much, but it was wet and it was caffeinated, the only two requirements it needed to fulfill. Ethan delicately wiped dripping egg yolk from his chin and drained his tea before starting the engine.

  When Flic had finished in the bathroom, he was waiting for her scrolling through pictures of pianos on his smartphone. They were expensive, and when she asked if he played, he said he was classically trained and still took a weekly lesson. His features suggested he was a hard man, but that was the beauty of an agent undercover wasn’t it? A classically trained pianist, whose favorite piece to play was Chopin’s “Ballade Number One,” pulled the silver BMW back onto the road for what Barney promised was the final leg.

  *

  What were the chances of seeing an identical BMW pulling out from the isolated petrol station and cafe stop? It was a different color, but still. Just like the car Anna was in, the rear windows were tinted. She briefly wondered if there was anyone in the backseat of that car and if there was, did they have a story to tell as complicated as hers.

  She felt too nervous to eat, but she was also feeling lightheaded from her empty stomach so she settled on plain croissants and a cup of tea. The bathroom was a welcomed sight, and her two chaperones joked lightheartedly while they waited for her to return.

  After serving his customers, the man behind the counter took a cloth and wiped the window nearest the cash register. “Must have been a sale on those ones.” He jerked his head toward their BMW.

  “Excuse me?” Phillip followed his gaze.

  “That’s the third one of those Beamers I’ve seen already this morning.”

  Anna’s ears pricked up.

  “Common car, I guess. Great on gas, too.” Phillip eyed Anna. “Ready to go?”

  The moment they were out of earshot, Anna bombarded him with questions. “Was Flic in that car? Where are we going? Don’t you people radio each other or something? I could have traveled with her.”

  Phillip raised his hand to hush her.

  Open-mouthed, she paused. Her own racing mind left her silent. If Flic had been in that car, then why? Flic was supposed to be in a safe house. Flic was supposed to be safe. “Something’s happened, hasn’t it? You’re not just taking me to her; we’re all going somewhere aren’t we? That’s why I’m allowed to join her because she’s also being moved?”

  “She was in that car, yes, and she’s perfectly fine,” he said. “The car previous to that is taking supplies to the safe house.” This time he raised his finger to avoid interruption. “We ride on our own as instructed, we let the other teams follow their protocols, and very soon, we’ll all be arriving where we need to be, okay?”

  Anna stood her ground, her voice low and serious. “What happened?”

  “Last night her safe house was compromised. We’re moving her to a new one today. It’s the most appropriate time to deliver you there also.”

  “She’s okay, though isn’t she?” Anna couldn’t even begin to think about what the term “compromised” actually meant.

  “As I said, she’s perfectly fine, just in need of a new home for a while.” He smiled crookedly at his lame attempt at wit.

  Besides the fact that Flic’s whereabouts had been discovered when she was supposed to be under MI5 protection, something else was bothering her. “Why now? I know you just said it was the most appropriate time to deliver me to her, but honestly, I know this isn’t Hollywood. I know how safe houses work in the UK. They’re usually homes of ex-police or security people and they put you up for a while and keep you off the grid. So what difference would it make if I joined her now or days ago?”

  Phillip squared up and gave her his full attention. Perhaps he hadn’t imagined she was much more than a desperate lovestruck woman. “You were being checked out, Miss Lawrence.”

  It all made sense. Then it didn’t. “Surely I was checked out after the bombing?”

  “I can’t comment on that. I just know you were being monitored and you came up all clear to join Miss Bastone.”

  “Well, thank God for that.”

  “She was extracted safely. You needn’t worry.”

  Something else occurred to her, and she began to wonder if she was a wasted talent in marketing. Perhaps detective work was more up her alley. “Why do you all drive the same cars? Bit obvious isn’t it?”

  “Did you notice?”

  “As a matter of fact I did.” She paused. “Well, not enough to mention it, I guess, but then I only saw one besides ours. That bloke saw three.” She’d stick to marketing after all.

  “In all honesty, we don’t usually have the same vehicles. It’s just that last night was a bit of a rush job. Try not to worry, though. They’re not the same color, and they actually are a very common car. It’s not like we’re driving in a convoy or anything. There’s sufficient time between us all to not raise suspicion. It’s secure. I promise.”

  As if on cue, the man behind the counter walked by them restacking shelves. “Five Aston Martins the day before last. Now that you wouldn’t believe round these parts, would you?”

  Phillip said some blokey th
ing about cars as he ushered Anna from the shop. “See? He works in a garage and notices cars all the time. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, and it’s all going to plan.”

  Anna nodded and silently thanked God again. She was so close now; it was enough to shoot the nausea right back into her gut.

  Phillip handed her a bottle of water and smiled. “Only about an hour now.”

  Flic was an hour away. She held on to that fact like her life depended on it, and she supposed it did. Flic was her chance to have everything she wanted. Ironically, it was only in the past few days that she realized she needed Flic as much as the air she breathed.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  Barmston was a small seaside town in East Yorkshire. Flic knew they were driving north, if not by the signage, by the drop in temperature. Beyond a wooded area and up a narrow road sat a vast farmhouse with numerous sheds and barns. She knew one of those outbuildings wasn’t what it appeared to be from the outside, and the car parked out front of a small barn, identical to theirs in model, if not in color, reassured her.

  At least here, the scenery was better than the previous safe house in north Kent. She sniffed the air—sea and cows. She couldn’t see the sea. The green rolling fields were just undulated enough to block the view, but she knew it was there, and although she couldn’t actually see any cows either, she could smell the parcels they left behind on the gravel roads.

  From the outside, the barn was old and gray, but on the inside, it was converted and luxurious. It was useless to appear interested in the activity being undertaken in the barn. No one would tell her what was going on regardless. Four officers were there in total, and two of them tinkered with the surveillance system while Barney and Ethan set up laptops and began charging equipment.

  “Will my stuff arrive later?” Flic realized she didn’t even have a clean pair of knickers.

  “Yes, ma’am,” said one of the men who was flicking from camera to camera on the oversized screen in front of him.

  One of the cameras filmed a view from the wooded intersection they had traveled through toward the farm. An identical car passed right by the camera as clear as day, and Flic was pleased. “That might be my stuff now.”

  The officers glanced at each other.

  She felt disappointment. They obviously knew it wasn’t her belongings. Clean knickers or not, she was having a shower. “Are there any towels?”

  “There are, but the water’s probably not hot yet.”

  She sighed. The car in front of them hadn’t arrived soon enough to make the place comfortable, and the car arriving after her didn’t have her things.

  “It won’t be long though.” Barney smiled and offered her a jelly sweet.

  She reminded herself why she was here, and she forgave herself for being so stupid. Solitude and one bag of belongings was so important to her she could barely believe it. When had it come to this?

  Like any television that was on in a room, eyes are always drawn toward it, and Flic’s gaze was absently fixed on the monitor systematically showing the various camera images—outside, inside, the driveway, the adjacent buildings, the hallway, the entrance, and Anna exiting a car.

  “Hold on!” She reached over the officer and used the arrow keys to find the correct camera.

  As plain as day, Anna hauled a bag from the backseat of the car and looked around.

  The first thing that crossed Flic’s mind was how? How in God’s name had Anna arrived at the safe house? The second fleeting thought was why, and when it at last dawned on her that Anna was just outside the door, her body began to work in unison with her brain and engaged her legs.

  Flic ran from the living room, taking the stairs two at a time, and burst through the front door only meters from where Anna stood. She froze.

  She wasn’t the only one. Anna dropped the bag, and the two officers that had escorted her made no attempt to hide their interest.

  Never in her entire life had Flic been so glad to see someone. But not just someone, it was the one person she wanted to see more than anyone else in the world. She ran to Anna with all the intent in the world of taking her in her arms, kissing her as if the act in itself would sustain her and haul her inside to make love while the brave men of MI5 kept them safe.

  A meter from Anna and reality caught up with Flic’s elaborate fantasy. This was Anna. Anna wasn’t someone you just rushed up to and kissed. But she was there, standing in the driveway of her safe house, so what was she there for, if not to kiss?

  “This must be a shock for you.” Anna’s arms dangled gracelessly beside her.

  “You could say that.”

  “Bet I’m the last person you expected to see.”

  “You could say that, too.”

  “And I suppose—”

  Oh sod it! Flic advanced to place her finger on Anna’s lips. “It is a shock, you are the last person I expected to see, and you can suppose all you like, but I’m about to kiss you. I’ve missed you, I think I really like you, and this time, I don’t think you’ll get mad at me if I do.”

  Anna smiled. It only lasted a moment before fear seemed to set in.

  From the corner of her eye, Flic could see the police officers return to their business, thankfully realizing the moment was delicate and required privacy. Flic’s heart took over, and when she moved to hug Anna, it felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. She recognized her smell immediately—the citrus scented perfume mixed gently with the fragrance of washing powder. It was Anna’s smell, and Flic had missed it beyond words.

  “I’m so glad you’re here,” said Flic.

  Their foreheads rested together. Their eyes never strayed from each other’s.

  Flic took Anna’s face between her hands before tracing her thumb over Anna’s lips. It only took a split second to move her lips to Anna’s. It had been so long since she’d had any real human interaction that being in such close and intimate proximity to someone was like melting ice.

  Anna neither pulled away nor participated, but something told Flic she was doing the right thing.

  “I’ve missed you,” said Anna.

  “It’s okay. You’re here now.”

  “Missing you is partly the reason why. I’ve never missed anyone like I’ve missed you. I thought I was going bonkers.”

  Flic laughed. She’d never heard Anna even say the word “bonkers,” let alone admit she thought she was going crazy.

  “I mean it, Flic. I’ll go mad if I can’t sort this stuff out. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, and half the time I can’t even think straight.”

  Flic laughed harder.

  “What? What’s so funny?”

  Flic knew exactly what Anna’s ailment was, but she didn’t say. It was something Anna would need to work out for herself. “Nothing is funny, well, you are a little. You’re cute actually, but it doesn’t matter. You’re here now.” Flic smiled reassuringly. The last thing she wanted was for Anna to think she was making fun of her. “We’re together, and you don’t have to worry anymore.” Flic winked. “You’ll eat like a horse and sleep like a baby now, I promise.”

  Anna smiled unconvincingly. “They told me you were compromised last night.” She shrugged. “I don’t really even know what that means. I’m just so glad you’re okay.”

  Flic told her the sequence of events that led her, and now Anna, to Yorkshire. She concluded with a smile. “But it’s all right now. Seeing you makes it all right. I promise.”

  Anna seemed reassured. “Come on,” she said. “Show me around your palace.”

  “No way.” Flic required answers of her own. “First, I’ll make us both a cup of tea while you tell me how the hell you managed to swing this.”

  Walking toward the barn, Flic second-guessed herself. “You are here because of—I mean you’re not here for work or anything are you? Did Dee swing this?” She was horrified. “Did I just make a complete arse of myself?”

  This time it was Anna who moved to prohibit Flic from talking. “You h
ad it right the first time. I promise.”

  “You’re here for me?”

  “Yes.”

  “To be with me?”

  “Something like that.”

  “You’re staying, right? I mean, they can’t let you go now can they? Now that you know where I am.”

  “Flic! Calm down.” Anna took Flic’s hands in hers. “I’m here because I want to be with you, and although you managed to make it sound so dramatic, it’s not part of the deal for me to leave before this is all over. As long as you’re here, I’m here.”

  Flic inhaled deeply. “I think I’ve spent too much time alone.” She gathered herself and pushed away her insecurities, hopefully allowing the previously experienced elation to take over once more. She took Anna in her arms again. “I’m just so glad you’re here.”

  Flic carried Anna’s bag up the stairs before putting the kettle on. “Now tell me, please. Who’d you have to sleep with to score this holiday?”

  Anna glared at her.

  “I’m kidding, but seriously, who pulled the strings to get you here? Was it Dee?”

  Anna recounted the story, explaining that Dee wasn’t the least bit surprised to learn that Anna was disappearing for an indefinite period of time and that Flic was the reason.

  Flic smiled and shook her head.

  “What?”

  “I don’t know how you do it, but you just make shit happen.”

  The color drained from Anna’s cheeks and her brow creased. Flic wondered if she’d said something wrong. “Are you okay?”

  Anna took her tea to the privacy of the sitting room. Flic followed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Anna winced. “There are some things I can’t just make happen,” she said.

  “I don’t follow.” Anna raised her head exposing moist eyes. Then reality dawned on Flic. “Oh, I get it.” She filled with disappointment—heavy, soul destroying disappointment. “So it’s just friends then?”