by Moore, Mary
He sighed. “Lady Nicole, I would not mislead you. I have no proof at this time that your injury is reversible. I do not claim any power above the other physicians you have seen. I have not, however, done a complete evaluation of the information you have given me today. I believe some of my colleagues have failed you in making a final determination at the point of examination, but it does not follow that their diagnoses were wrong.”
Nicole could do no more than send a silent prayer to God thanking Him for leading her to this understanding and considerate man. She leaned forward and turned her head to be as close to face-to-face with him as possible. “Dr. Morrison, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I could ask no more of anyone.”
After the brief interruption of the doctor visit, Nicole’s severe heartache returned with a vengeance. As she awaited the loading of their trunks onto the departing carriage, she had never felt so torn. She wanted more than anything to be going home, but she had no desire to leave knowing Lord Devlin thought so little of her.
She had sent Toby on a few final errands and was beginning to get concerned at his continued absence. Waiting for him brought her a mixture of pain and hope. She thought she could have made Devlin understand. She had tried so hard to explain it to him last night. She knew the pain that she would never see him again. What a mess she had made of her life.
In another quarter of London, Lord Devlin was in a towering rage. How dare that upstart servant come to his home and upbraid him as if he were a grubby schoolboy!
As he was checking the cinch on Orion’s saddle, he heard footsteps behind him and saw several stable boys look past his shoulder. Devlin turned and saw Toby standing there, proud as a duke, blocking his way.
“What are you doing here? Go back to your mistress and stay away from this house. I have warned you once, Toby. This is the last time.”
The look of disdain, almost hatred, on the earl’s face would have cowed a lesser man. “My lord, I come to ’ave a few words with you. We are leaving London today, but I plan to give you a piece of my mind before I go. There’s nothing or nobody gonna stop me. Now I can say what I ’ave to say right ’ere in front of all your men, but I’d like it better if we could go off alone. That empty paddock would suit me jest fine.”
The earl fumed. “Since I do not give a hang about what would suit you, I am afraid you are wasting your time. You stupid fool, do you know who I am? I could have you sent to Newgate for speaking to me this way.”
“Yes Sir, I ’spose you could. But I plan to ’ave words with you, like it or not. This ain’t got anything to do with your rank or mine, it’s jest man to man.”
Devlin had to admit a grudging respect for the servant, but his anger would not allow a softening toward him. “Very well, Toby. I have no specific complaint with you so the sooner you have your say, the sooner I can see the last of you.” Devlin called for one of the stable hands to hold Orion, and he walked toward the paddock with Toby. When they reached the fence he turned and said, “Say your piece.”
“First off, my lord, I know that we do owe you thanks for not letting the London tabbies get a whiff of this. It ’as saved my ladies much embarrassment. And I knew you wouldn’t be in no condition to ’ave Lady Nick come see you the other night, but I couldn’t stop her. I’m willing to give credit where it’s due.”
“Great guns, man! Do you want me to thank you for recognizing good breeding? To be honest with you, with the deceit you have been associated with, I suppose I should be surprised you do recognize it.”
The punch that knocked Lord Devlin to the ground was the hardest he had ever felt. And he had sparred with Gentleman Jackson himself! He put his hand to his jaw, sure it was broken, and began to rise to his feet. “Why, you…”
“Look, your lordship, I tried being nice. You can beat me to within an inch of my life, after I ’ave my say. Those ladies got no other menfolk to protect their ’onor, and I swear, even if I go to prison, I’ll knock you down again if you say anything else like that.”
Devlin rubbed his bruised jaw. “Do not flatter yourself. You will not catch me unawares again. Just say what you have to say and go.”
Toby took off his hat and began to twist the offending article in his hands. “You were in a pretty bad way the other night when Miss, I mean, Lady Nick came to see you. I don’t know if you remember any of what she said…”
“I was drunk, but I heard every word. If you have come to repeat the story, you might as well go.” Devlin was quickly regretting his decision to hear the servant out. All he wanted was this reminder of the woman he could not get out of his head, to go away.
“What you ’eard wasn’t even ’alf the story. That’s what I’m ’ere to tell you…the whole truth. It ain’t short and it ain’t pretty, so don’t think you can just shake me off. I ain’t never gabbed on any of my ladies before and even this don’t set right with me. I don’t always speak proper when I’m nervous, but I ain’t leaving ’til you know the truth.”
“Then get on with it, man.” Devlin was beginning to feel an impatience to know what was so important that this man would risk his freedom to come here.
“I always listened when Miss Nicky would be telling everybody about ’er Pa and what a special man ’e was. Well, ’e was a good man, to be sure—to ’is family and servants and them that belonged to his estate. But he wasn’t a saint. Most times ’is ’ead was stuck in a book or ’e was riding ’is land. But ’e was much more interested in them than in doing much work. While he listened to everybody’s problems, it was Miss Nicky who done fixed them. She was different. The man just weren’t a doer.”
Devlin feigned a yawn. “This is all very fascinating, Toby, but I have no interest in your story. I agreed to let you have your say, but I am not reliving her childhood again. I have been down that road once, so maybe you had better go.”
“No!” Toby shouted in exasperation. “That’s my point exactly. You ain’t never ’eard ’er real story. You’ve only ’eard it the way she tells it.”
Devlin ran his hands through his hair in frustration.
“When my lord, God rest ’is soul, ’eard all the estate problems, Miss Nicky did all the work. She took baskets to the sick and ’ungry. Miss Nicky decided to meet with the owner of the parish living. She even took to learning doctoring so she could fix some of their ills. She believed Providence meant ’er to be a servant to other folks.
“Lady B let Miss Nicky do it all because it was easier than fighting it. Lady B’s upbringing was as a highborn lady in London. She tried to turn Miss Nick into one of them frippery misses. But seeing as ’ow Lady B ’ad given up town ways, she knew she’d ’ave a ’ard time convincing Miss Nick. It wasn’t all ’er fault. Miss Nicky was stubborn and wouldn’t think or say anything bad ’bout ’er father. She just went ’bout making what ’e said ’appen.”
Toby looked past the earl as he spoke, remembering each detail. “She even started a school for the littlest ones that wasn’t old enough to work the fields yet. She taught it ’erself.”
Devlin remembered Nicole telling him her parents had worked for schools for the children, but she never told him she was the one who had made it happen. He turned back to Toby’s words.
“…but guess who got all the credit? The Earl, that’s who. I don’t ’ave nothing to say against the man. All I want is for someone to know the truth ’bout Miss Nicky after all these years.”
Devlin was surprised at much of this. He thought he knew Nicole well enough to know she would care for others and would work hard at helping them, but he had envisioned a different picture of her father from what she had told him.
This was crazy! He was back to believing in the “saintly” Nicole after one sad story from a servant who worshipped the ground she walked on! No, he must remember the lying woman he now knew she was. He knew if he kept listening he would regret his harshness to her, and he was not ready to give up his injured heart.
“I am sorry, Toby. I have heard enough and
I have to go. I can see your loyalty to your mistress, and commend you for it. But I neither care nor have the time to listen to any more.”
Toby rose to his full six feet four inches and stared at Lord Devlin. “I told you that neither of us would leave ’ere until I said my piece, and I meant it. I realize you probably wanna darken my daylights, and if it makes you feel better to go a round of fisticuffs, I’m willing. But I’m still saying my piece. I also realize you could call your lads to throw me out on my duff, but if I ’ave to remind you that I saved your ’ide on the trip to the opry to get you to listen to me, I will. If you don’t owe this time to Lady Nick, then I’m calling in your IOU.”
Devlin clenched his teeth in anger. “Knowing your mistress, I should not be surprised you would stoop to blackmail.” As Toby started toward him with fists raised, Lord Devlin held up his hand and said, “No, do not hit me again, just get on with it and leave me be.”
“You don’t even deserve to ’ear the truth, but I promised myself she wouldn’t leave London with anyone thinking ’er a liar, so I’m gonna finish.
“After taking all the responsibility for making the tenants useful, Miss Nicky’s Pa died. I can try to explain ’til I’m blue in the face what ’er father meant to ’er, but unless you knew that child, then you wouldn’t understand. Lady B was weeping and fainting, always ending up laid down on ’er bed. Miss Chelsea was jest a little mite and ’er world was falling apart. So Miss Nicky jest ’eld it all together for the family and the servants. This seventeen-year-old girl was as devastated by ’er Pa’s death as anyone could be. But she couldn’t go grieve, she couldn’t lie down on the bed crying, she jest ’andled it all. The new earl didn’t waste no time taking ’is rightful place at the ’all, so Lady Nick had to move part and parcel to the dowager house.”
By now Toby was angry and did nothing to conceal it. “You know the one time I saw ’er crack, your lordship? I found ’er and Solomon after they ’ad been missing a couple of ’ours. She was on the terrace setting in the dark. I could tell she’d been crying and she says to me, ‘Toby, will it ever be the same, will it ever be ’ome? Can it be ’ome without ’im?’ That was it, the only time. The rest of the time she was too busy making it ’ome to worry ’bout it.” Toby took out his handkerchief and wiped it across his nose, then quickly put it away.
Devlin could see the whole picture in his mind, Nicole as a very young lady with all the responsibility of the world on her shoulders. Toby had heard her crying for the past that she would never have back. It did not help that it brought back the same feelings he had often had as a boy when the sadness and loneliness of his world came upon him. But Toby had not finished. “…she made everything right. She worked with Beaufort’s estate manager to begin gettin’ the ’ouse in shape. You know what she found? The man had been robbing the estate and her Pa blind. She booted ’im out and began managing ’er own self. She set workmen to make the ’ouse cheerful for her mother. Then she began to work with the parish vicar more.
“That was when she caught Ben Thatcher poaching on the estate. The man ’ad come back from the war without ’is left arm and ’e couldn’t find work. She sat ’im down and talked to ’im about ’is family and ’is skills, and ended up asking ’im if ’e would ’elp ’r manage the small property that came with the dowager house. And between the two of them, it became a ’ome.”
So that was how she knew all about the soldiers coming home maimed and with no work prospects, Devlin thought. And that was why she fought against criminal punishment for those men. By George! She had lived his speech!
Toby’s voice became jeering as he went on. “One day one of the youngsters took sick with some disease Lady Nick couldn’t fix. When the child died she took it personal-like and began advertising for a doctor. Ain’t no small towns got their own doctor and the new earl didn’t want no part of it, but it didn’t matter none to Lady Nick. She would make sure no more lives would be wasted ’cause of it. That’s when Mr. Perry was hired. Doc was a young, strapping man with lots of book learning. He weren’t married either.
“By now Lady Nick was nineteen and, as you well know, pretty as a picture. She ’ad the gift of making each person she was a talkin’ to feel like they were the most ’portant person on earth. Doc Perry did the only natural thing, ’e asked ’er to marry ’im. They got engaged and she was ’appier than I seen ’er in a long time. I think she saw a way to go on with the life she ’ad with ’er Pa.” So there was a man at home. Well, of course there was, he thought, his jaw clenching. She was all those things Toby described, when she wanted to be. The pang of jealousy that hit him in the chest knocked him for a loop. Was that the broken engagement she had spoken of? He must not think of her with another man.
But what did it matter anyway? He had no interest in her now. He wondered if the doctor had been killed in the accident. Perhaps that was her reason for saying she would never marry. What in the world was taking the man so long to get on with the story?
“Lady Nick was taking a step down to marry Doc Perry. Fact is, even though we all thought ’im too starched up, we knew if she married ’im she’d still be close to home and we was that selfish. She believed marrying Doc Perry was God’s plan for ’er life. I believe ’e was…well, I guess it ain’t my business to tell what I thought.”
Toby sounded as if he was choosing his words carefully. “Then it ’appened. We were in the stables when someone came a-yelling that a tenant cottage was on fire. We all hurried to get there, but Lady Nick was on Solomon and beat us all to it. Missus Brown was a-crying outside the burning building. She screamed that ’er tyke Jenny were still inside. The smoke was so thick she couldn’t get to ’er. Lady Nick put a blanket under a pump, put it over ’er ’ead and runs into that building. I was jest getting there. I can remember thinking that she was the stupidest…and bravest girl I ever laid eyes on.
“We all tried to run in after ’er but the smoke was too thick. Some of us waited at the doorway opening, and some of us went to see if we could get in another way. We saw ’er ’eading back toward us with Jenny in ’er arms. Lady Nick ’ad wrapped the little girl in the wet blanket, leaving nothing to cover ’erself. All at once we ’eard a beam in the ceiling split. I will never forget that cracking sound as long as I live. The fiery pile fell atop Miss Nicky and knocked ’er down. We didn’t care ’bout no smoke after that, we jest ran in and grabbed them both.”
Tears were streaming down Toby’s face in his agitation, and Devlin could not have moved an inch if his own house had been on fire.
“Since Jenny ’ad been wrapped in the blanket, she came through all right, but one of the beams ’it Missy on the ’ead. I carried ’er over to a tree jest as Doc Perry came. She wasn’t moving. The Doc said she was jest unconscious and ’e used them smelly salts to bring ’er around. She kept a-coughing and coughing but wanted to know if little Jenny was safe. When we told her she was, tears ran down her face and she thanked God as she lay there on the ground.
“We was all wondering if she was all right. When Doc said nothing was broken or burned too bad, we praised the angels for keeping our lady safe. But when the Doc asked ’er ’ow she felt, she whispered, as quiet as a mouse, ‘I cannot see.’
“The rest of the story is mostly too ’ard to imagine lessen you were there. According to the Doc, since she wasn’t burned and since she come ’round pretty easy, the ’eat from the fire must ’ave swelled something in ’er eyes. Doc said ’e didn’t know if it could be cured or not. Why in the world ’ad we brought the man as doctor if ’e couldn’t ’elp our girl?”
Toby was staring off into the distance; reliving it in his mind. The sadness he felt was palpable.
“It was the last straw. After losing ’er father and ’aving to leave ’er ’ome, Miss Nick almost gave up. The blindness jest broke ’er spirit. She didn’t ask God why, but she didn’t know if ’e could possibly give ’er enough strength to fight this battle. She stayed to ’er room mostly. She was able to deal w
ith the family, but she was afraid of the outdoors because she knew it wasn’t safe no more.
“She ’ealed quick enough on the outside, but we worried ’bout ’er insides. We were glad she ’ad Doc Perry to get ’er through it, but as time went by, ’e didn’t come round much anymore.” Toby’s jaw clenched. “We knew ’e were busy without Miss Nicky’s ’elp, but hang it all, he shoulda made time for ’er.”
The level of emotion between the two men had run the full gamut. Toby knew he had to get this last part out. “Finally, on top of everything else, Doc broke the engagement. Said ’e was sorry but ’is wife needed to be ’elping ’is doctoring. And if she couldn’t see, then…”
The silence was deafening.
He continued in a deceptively mild voice. “I think I could ’ave killed a man that day. And I think the only thing that stopped me was that she would never ’ave forgiven me. She needed ’im and ’e jest let ’er go. So I ’ad to settle for the ’ate ’e was gonna face from the townsfolk when they ’eard about it.”
Devlin had no words and did not know how long the new silence between them lasted. He sat on the ground and covered his head in his hands, trying to fight the emotion he was feeling. Anger, pain and sadness all merged together as he realized no human could have listened to her story untouched. Nicole was so much more than he had even imagined. He thought he might break down in front of Toby, and it no longer mattered.
In almost a whisper he asked, “What happened then, Toby?”
“She let ’im go. She told everybody she couldn’t be a burden to such a needed man. She made ’im the good one, then slowly closed ’er ’eart. She not only lost that worthless doctor, she watched God’s will go with ’im. We all watched as she withered away.
“Then one day little Chelsea snuck into ’er room and laid up there on the bed beside ’er. She seemed so small, but she understood our worry and she did the only thing a child knows to do. She told Missy that she didn’t care that she couldn’t see. She told ’er she would tell ’er ’bout anything she wanted to know about. And as the little girl’s tears fell, she begged Miss Nick not to leave ’er, too.
