Creature Keepers and the Perilous Pyro-Paws

by Peter Nelson

  Lou offered a sheet of paper and a pen. “Hey. I’m sure he’d like to hear from you, too. Why don’t you jot down a note?”

  Jordan smiled sadly. “Thanks, but I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to hear from me.” He turned and headed back, scanning the ground as he walked, keeping an eye out for bits of Eldon’s uniform. He stopped at the spot where he was sure he’d tripped over Eldon’s boots. But they were gone.

  Hap came running up to him. “Hey, Jordan! I finished my morning chores for Doris. Need me to do anything?”

  “You’ve been working so hard. Take the rest of the day off.”

  “No can do, boss,” Hap said. “I feel awful about the other night. Totally uncool of me. I gotta get the Creature Keepers to believe in me again.”

  “Hap, you’ve been running around the swamp. Have you seen any of Eldon’s clothes? They were scattered near here, but I can’t find anything now.”

  Hap smiled proudly and saluted. “Helpful Hap Cooperdock at your service.”

  “Oh. You have them?”

  “I figured when Eldon comes out of his slump, he’s gonna want to wear something more than just his underwear. So I washed and pressed his uniform. Shined his boots, too. Then I put everything back in his locker, down in the CKCC.” He looked around, then spoke in a lower voice. “I’m not technically authorized to go back down there, but I know how Eldon likes things being returned to their proper places. I thought he’d appreciate it. Y’know, when he returns to his old self again.”

  Jordan smiled at the scraggly ex-Keeper. “He sure will, Hap. Great job.”

  26

  Abbie woke with a start. She’d stayed up late telling Syd of her adventures since they last saw each other: how she’d befriended Morris the Japanese Kappa and had even climbed to the top of the Himalayas and met Wilford, the elusive Yeti. To say nothing of finally defeating and capturing Chupacabra.

  As her eyes adjusted to the morning light, she spotted Syd snoring away. He wore a sleeping mask on his head and a fluffy bunny slipper on his tiny left foot. His great right foot stuck out from under a small blanket.

  Abbie crept into the main cabin. Clarissa the Christmas Island Colossus Crab was helping Harvey by holding a roll of pink material in her claws. Gilligan the Feejee Mermonkey was relaxing in an old washtub that was filled with seawater and mounted to a pull cart. Gavin the Owl Man of Cornwall was using his long talons to clean and unruffle his feathers. Hogie was gathered in a puddle in the corner, his various eyes staring off in different directions. And Lou the New Jersey Devil was repeatedly lifting Gilligan in his rolling washtub over his head.

  “Hey, look who decided to join civilization,” Gilligan said.

  “Morning,” Abbie said. “Where are the others?”

  “Out,” Gavin said. “That awful Buck Wilde chap got them up early.

  “Out? What do you mean, out? Out where?” A panic gripped her. “Please don’t tell me—”

  “Mr. Wilde said today was ‘Brand Launch’ day,” Clarissa lisped. “So I expect they’ll be getting back with some brand-new lunch anytime now. Gosh, I hope it’s shish kebabs.”

  “Not ‘lunch,’” Harvey said. “‘Launch.’ As in, launching their brand and introducing themselves to the human race.”

  “Oh, no.” Abbie glanced around the room. “Where’s Bernard? Has anyone told him?”

  “Told him?” Lou set down the washtub wagon. “He and Buck were working together to convince Francine, Donald, and Sandy to make their big debut! Personally, I think Bernard was just excited to show off his banner.”

  Abbie looked up at the wall. The Face Chompers banner was gone. “Oh, this is bad. Why didn’t you all go with him?”

  Hogie oozed over to her ankles and gazed up at Abbie with his dozen or so glassy eyes. “We wanted to wait for you,” he said.

  “Yeah. We don’t need some grandiose branding campaign,” Gavin said. “You taught us in order to get humans to accept us, all we need to do is be ourselves.”

  She smiled at this and felt less panicked. “Right,” Abbie said. “And you’re also going to be the ones who don’t let that idiot Buck endanger the others. Whaddya say? Who’s ready to meet the world?”

  A silence fell over the room. Finally, Clarissa spoke up. “Uh, we are?”

  “That’s right!” Abbie said. “You are!”

  They let out a loud cheer. Syd appeared in the doorway, yawning. His sleeping mask was crammed up onto his forehead.

  “This is it, Syd!” Hogie said. “We’re gonna finally meet the humans!”

  “Great,” Syd said. “Just remember, humans like to take lots of pictures. Might wanna come up with a signature pose.” The Sasquatch turned sideways and broke into his classic Bigfoot midstride stance. “This one worked for me, but you can borrow it.”

  Hogie strained himself, then fell back into a blob. “I’ll work on it,” he said.

  Abbie led Hogie, Lou, Clarissa, and Gavin out of the building. Harvey followed along, pulling Gilligan’s washtub wagon. They made their way across the platform to a trap door, where they stopped and peered down through the nearly invisible mesh netting and the water far beneath it.

  “Will it hold all of us?” Abbie asked.

  Harvey grinned. “High-polymer, stealth-mesh weave,” he said. “Some of my best work.” The old man jumped through the trap door, followed by Hogie, Lou, Clarissa, and Gavin.

  Gilligan lifted himself out of his rolling bathtub and sloshed over to the edge. “Good luck,” he said to Abbie. “Moe and I will keep an eye on your progress from the water. Once we’re convinced it isn’t a suicide mission, we’ll proudly join you.”

  “Gee, thanks,” Abbie said.

  The Feejee Mermonkey waved a webbed hand, then leaped into the water.

  Abbie, Harvey, and the four remaining cryptids made their way across Harvey’s near-invisible, weaved water bridge, which led beneath el Terminal Remota. They could make out the Heli-Jet parked in the shadows beneath the pier as they climbed up and through a hatch that led them directly to the light of day—and the human world.

  They all collected themselves at the edge of el Terminal Remota, slightly hidden behind a wall of carnival games, food booths, gift stalls, and small stages that lined the pier. It had grown more crowded, and a river of people passed by. The Face Chompers readied themselves for their big introduction.

  “All right, you guys,” Abbie said. “Just remember, get out there, be your very best selves, and you’ll do just fine. And remember, keep an eye out for Buck Wilde and the others. Okay?”

  Hogie, Gavin, and Clarissa traded nervous glances. “Perhaps we’re being too hasty,” Gavin said. “Maybe we should step back and look at the best possible—oof!”

  Lou suddenly shoved the Owl Man out toward the pier. “Enough gabbin’! Who’s next? Who? Who?” He chuckled and glanced at Abbie and Harvey as the others followed Gavin before Lou could push them. “See what I did there, with the ‘who, who’? ’Cause he’s an owl. Get it?”

  “Yes,” Harvey said. “We get it. Now it’s your turn.”

  Lou flashed a pointy grin and gave a thumbs-up. “Go big or go home.” He confidently stepped out into the sunlight with the others. “Yo, humans!”

  Abbie and Harvey stepped out next and stood beside the line of grinning cryptids. Oddly, the parade of people nodded and smiled as they passed, more amused than amazed. It was as if they’d seen a Colossus Crab, Tasmanian Globster, Owl Man, and New Jersey Devil every day.

  “I must say,” Gavin said. “This is going remarkably well.”

  Abbie wondered why the crowd was so unfazed until she noticed even wilder and more colorful creatures walking among them. Some were people in Alebrijes costumes; others carried larger, homemade monsters like the one Sam had brought them to see. These four actual cryptids, standing in their midst, fit right in. “Of course,” she said to herself. “They all think you’re just part of the celebration.”

  Hogie heard this and blinked. “I like cele
brations.”

  27

  Jordan slid down the hydraulic ramp on his backside and rolled onto the floor of the CKCC. Ed was in the break room getting a cup of coffee, so Jordan walked over to the Cooler and peered into the portal window. His heart stopped.

  It was definitely not Jordan’s imagination this time. The thick block of ice that held Chupacabra had moved closer to the heavy vaultlike door.

  “Hiya, Jordan. What’s up?” It was Ed.

  Jordan spun around. “Ed, did anyone open this vault door?”

  “No one’s been down here but me.” He gestured toward the opposite wall with his coffee mug. “Well, me and those annoying gophers back there.”

  “Gophers?” Jordan said, looking around frantically. “What gophers, Ed?”

  “Jeez, calm down, willya?” Ed said. “You can’t see ’em. But sitting down here all night while those varmints are creaking and thumping inside the walls . . . They’ll drive you bonkers!”

  “That’s a short trip for you, Ed.” Alistair chuckled as he and Hap stepped off the elevator.

  “Very funny,” Ed said. “Don’t believe me? Have a listen!” Ed led Alistair and Hap over to the opposite wall lined with the Creature Keeper lockers. Jordan continued to monitor the ice block inside the Cooler.

  “Give ’em a minute,” Ed said. “You’ll hear ’em tunneling around in there.” They all put an ear to one of the lockers. Crreeeaaaak . . .

  “Y’see? I’m not crazy! Danged gophers must be in the walls behind the lockers!”

  “Or inside them.” Alistair stepped back and read the sign above the locker. “‘Pecone, E.’” He ran his hand down the door. Crreeeaaaak . . . Alistair pulled his hand away quickly and took another step back. “Uh, Jordan,” Alistair said. “You might wanna come here. This door . . . is warm.”

  Jordan turned.

  Crreeeaaaak . . .

  “Wasn’t warm when I put Eldon’s stuff away,” Hap said.

  “Wait,” Jordan said. His mind was reeling. “Eldon’s things—you put his fanny pack in there, too?”

  “Of course. See?” Hap lifted the latch.

  Jordan’s eyes went wide. “Hap! No!”

  BANG! The locker door slammed open. A dark object shot out of it, zooming across the room, straight at Jordan’s head. He ducked just in time as the projectile slammed into the metal Cooler door. Jordan stood back up. Eldon’s fanny pack was stuck to the metal door like it was filled with high-powered magnets.

  Smoke was streaming from its seams, and Alistair yelled to Jordan from across the room. “Jordan, get away from that thing! It looks like it’s gonna explode!”

  Jordan remembered what was in Eldon’s fanny pack. He knew this had the potential to be far more dangerous than a bomb. He leaned in closer to the portal window. Just as he feared, the block of ice was now moving—slowly but steadily across the floor—toward him.

  “The blaststones!” As Jordan went to grab the fanny pack, it burst into flames, turning to ash. The blaststones inside it, the ones Jordan had given to Eldon, were glowing bright red, and sinking into the thick steel door.

  “Get over here!” Jordan shouted to the others. “Quickly! We need to get these stones out of the door and away from him!”

  Alistair, Hap, and Ed rushed over to the door. Inside, the ice tomb was just a few feet from them. The Scottish Keeper tried to grab a blaststone. “Oy! They’re like hot coals!” The stones continued melting into the steel door. Inside, the ice was beginning to glisten as it slowly melted. Cracks began to spread around Chupacabra’s frozen tomb, now just a foot away from the glass.

  Hap ran up with a crowbar and tried to pry a stone as it melted deeper into the door. The tip of the tool glowed red hot as it made contact, and the stone disappeared along with the others, burning straight through the door.

  “Oh, no,” Jordan said. “This can’t be happening.” Inside the Cooler, the stones burst through the other side of the door and slammed into the ice, sinking quickly. Jordan could only watch as they made their way straight toward the center of the thick tomb, straight for Chupacabra.

  “Go,” Jordan heard himself say.

  “Jordan,” Hap said. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t—”

  “GO!” Jordan shouted, startling him. “There’s no time to waste!” His mind was racing. “Hap, Ed—the retired Keepers are with Doris, deep in the swamp. Get them back to the house, NOW!”

  Hap and Ed sprinted up the ramp. Jordan and Alistair pushed desks and heavy equipment against the Cooler door. “Okay, Mac,” Jordan said. “Go and get Nessie ready. We may need a quick getaway across the Gulf.”

  “I’m not leaving you here alone with that monster,” Alistair said.

  “I can lead him out of here, toward the swamp, away from the house,” Jordan said. “What I can’t do is fight him off when I get out there. I’m gonna need a getaway cryptid. It’s the only way. Now go and get her ready!”

  Alistair’s voice trembled. “You lead that beast to the boathouse. Haggis-Breath and I will be ready for him.” Jordan nodded to Alistair. They both had fear in their eyes. Alistair pulled from his pocket a hand-whittled slingshot.

  “Thanks, Mac,” Jordan said. “But I’m not sure it’ll do us much good this time.”

  Alistair tucked it back away, then ran up the ramp, into the swamp.

  28

  Abbie, Harvey, and the four cryptids moved slowly along with the current of swirling tourists, locals, and fake creatures. Many admired the Owl Man’s beautiful plumage, and some did a double take at the sight of a giant crab walking alongside a slimy blob.

  “I feel so alive!” Clarissa said through her lisp.

  “I can’t believe I was nervous about this,” Gavin said. “Although I confess to feeling a bit offended they’re not paying us more attention.”

  “What’d I tell you?” Lou replied as he nodded to a passerby. “Nothin’ but a thing.”

  “This is going great,” Hogie said, looking up at Abbie. “Don’t you think?”

  “These people have no idea you guys are real,” Abbie said. “But yes, that may turn out to be a very great thing.” As she and Harvey scanned the crowd for signs of the others, Abbie realized that Buck had picked the biggest cryptids for his brand launch: Bernard, the large, smelly Skunk Ape; Donald, the Bangladesh Ban Manush red ape-man; Francine, the stick-limbed, slimy Bunyip; Paul, the ferocious-looking Dingonek jungle walrus; and of course, Sandy, the giant Golden Liger. The ones Buck would think would get the biggest cheers.

  The flow of the crowd moved down el Terminal Remota toward a judging stage stationed near the Mayan Princess. The revelers spilled onto the widening area at the end of the pier, forming one of the strangest-looking gatherings Abbie had ever seen. And she’d once been in the middle of a real, live Squatchfest.

  “Abbie!” a voice called out over the heads of the crowd. “Abbie, over here!”

  “Oh, great.” Abbie’s mother and father were waving frantically as they cut through the crowd, moving toward her. Mrs. Grimsley was wearing a gorilla costume with a bright, feathered hat that made it look like she had a toucan sitting on her head. Mr. Grimsley was dressed in a shimmering, scaly mermaid outfit with a fin and tail on the back. For some reason he also had rabbit ears on his head.

  “Wow,” Abbie said. “You guys look . . . Just, wow.”

  “Thanks!” Her father eyed the odd-looking crew standing with his daughter. “Are these your friends? Great costumes, gang! Way to get into the Alebrijes spirit!”

  “Guys, these are my parents.”

  Lou grabbed Mr. Grimsley’s hand and crunched it. “Nice to meet ya!”

  “I love your plumage,” Mrs. Grimsley said to Gavin.

  “Why, thank you,” the Owl Man replied awkwardly. “You . . . seem to be an ape.”

  “Uh, Mom, Dad, these guys aren’t exactly from around here.”

  “Oh,” Mr. Grimsley said. “Fellow tourists! Where do you all hail from?”

  “We’re from all over
,” Harvey interjected. “And we really should start heading back.” He was gesturing to Abbie to look across the edge of the pier at a small makeshift stage with a showy curtain made from the old bunkhouse tarps. Onstage, preparing to address the crowd with a bullhorn, was Buck Wilde.

  “Uh, yeah,” Abbie said. “We should really go—”

  SQUEEEEEEE! A horrible noise emitted from the megaphone in Buck’s hand. The entire crowd turned. Buck was grinning ear to ear, overjoyed to have an audience again.

  “¡Hola, amigos! How y’all doin’ today?” Buck began. He was met by murmurs from the crowd. Abbie glanced around. A few people began to recognize “Señor Wilde” from TV. Then a few more. As they did, the crowd grew more excited.

  “Say, I don’t know if y’all know me, but my name is Buck Wilde, and I used to have a show called Buck Wilde: Squatch-Seeker!”

  More people cheered, and a few even hollered Buck’s catchphrase: “GET YER SQUATCH ON!” The crowd gravitated closer to Buck’s sad little stage, pulling Abbie and the others along with them. She felt a knot in her stomach as Buck continued.

  “I hung up my Squatch-hunting hat a while back but not my love for crazy creatures! I see a lot of you dressed up like fantastic critters here today! I guess you love ’em, am I right?” More cheering. “Well, that’s just super-bueno! I’ve got a real treat for you folks!” He made his way to the side of the stage and took hold of a rope that ran up the side of the curtain.

  “Oh, no,” Abbie said aloud. “Please, Buck. Not like this. They’re not ready!”

  “Who?” Lou said. “The creatures or the humans?”

  “Both,” Abbie said.

  Buck continued. “So without any further ado, humans of the planet Earth, get ready, because the Face Chompers are here and they’re ready to meetcha!”

  He yanked the rope. Abbie heard her mother say, “They’re ready to ‘eat’ us?”

  The curtain fell away. Gasps erupted from the crowd. Standing there, beneath the large pink Face Chompers sign, were Paul, Donald, Francine, and Bernard. The crowd stood in shocked silence.