Phoenix (Flames & Ashes Book 1)

by Carolyn Anthony

  I smirked at the familiar line from one of our favorite horror movies. “‘ . . . makes Jack a dull boy.’ Yeah, yeah. I know. Just be happy I haven’t taken to chasing you with an axe, which I’m not ruling out, if you make me regret letting you meet Jaxx.”

  The clink of the knife against the glass cutting board stopped.

  I looked over at her. “What?”

  Annie’s mouth dropped open and she came around to stand next to me. “Oh. My. God. You’re fuckin’ glowing. Now it makes sense—the cooking, the excess stress, low-cut shirt and . . . the glow!”

  “I’m not glowing,” I insisted, nodding for her to go back to the other side of the island so I could finish the mushrooms. It was a much safer activity than feeding into Annie’s giddy proclamation—which yeah, okay, she wasn’t wrong, but I didn’t glow.

  “Glowing,” she mock-sang as she sauntered back to her stool. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy.” She gasped and her hand slammed down in front of me. “You bitch! You slept with him! And you’re just telling me now?”

  “I’m not telling you anything now!” I hissed, but couldn’t contain my smirk. “I didn’t have time. And keep your voice down. He could walk up any minute.”

  “How in the hell did you not tell me you broke the drought? Don’t even bother denying it; you’re redder than the guts of a fucking pomegranate. Spill.” She pushed the cutting board in front of her out of the way, and leaned over the island, face resting in her hands. “I’m waiting . . . ”

  I glanced out my kitchen window and went back to stirring. “It just happened yesterday, but later, okay? I promise.” I met her gaze and shrugged. “I don’t know. He just—he makes me—I don’t know . . . ”

  “Speechless? You?” She jumped up off the stool and lifted her wine glass to me. “This is epic. It’s about goddamned time, V. Cheers!”

  “Annie!”

  Putting the glass back down, she lifted both hands up. “I know. Be good.” She crossed her heart and winked at me.

  A knock on my front door cut off my next comment and I furiously glanced around the kitchen. “He’s early!” I pointed to the serving dish. “Shit!” I yanked the string on the apron behind me, tangling it into a knot. “Ahhh! Help.” I turned my back to her and held out the knot.

  “Stop, stop. You’re making it worse.” She slapped my hands out of the way, chuckled and undid the knot. “And you’re rambling. Dead giveaway. Oh, this just makes my heart happy.”

  When I spun back around to face her, she tugged my top down way too low and nodded to the front door. “Yes, you look great.” She shooed me out of the kitchen. “Go. I got this.”

  “Thank you.” I kissed her cheek and took off to the front door.

  Jesus, my hair. I finger-combed it back into place. Straightening my shirt so my boobs weren’t totally spilling out the top, I took a deep breath and opened the door. “Hey. You’re early.”

  My body heated as Jaxxon took his time looking me over from head to toe, murmuring something I couldn’t make out.

  Jesus, even after a full day at work, he looked amazing. Black gym shorts hung low on his hips, and his white T-shirt hugged his perfect chest in a way that made my mouth water. His long hair was pulled back in a knot sticking out from under that signature blue hat. I didn’t think I’d ever get tired of looking at him.

  Not moving from the porch, he nodded to the doorknob. “Door unlocked?”

  Odd. From inside the entryway, I leaned around the door to double-check. “Yeah, why—

  I barely got the words out before he yanked me outside with him. He pulled the door shut behind me and dropped his hands to my ass cheeks. “Up.”

  I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He enfolded me in his huge arms and into a tight hug. This might have been my favorite thing . . . well, second-favorite thing.

  Locking my arms around his shoulders, I nuzzled his neck, taking in the fresh scent of his skin. He always smelled like . . . home. I shook my head, trying to dislodge that dangerous word from my brain. Through his workout shorts, I could feel him growing hard between my legs. “Hey you,” I whispered against his neck.

  “Miss me, sugar?” With one arm around me, he raised the other to move my hair behind my shoulder.

  “Always. You hungry?” I leaned back a little to see his face, and turned his hat backwards so the bill didn’t scrape my forehead.

  “Loaded question. Why are you smiling?” he asked before giving me a quick kiss.

  I giggled and rested my arms over his shoulders, putting us nose to nose. “When you’re in the gym and you turn your hat backwards, it usually means you’re about to do something superheroish.” Leaning down, I ran my lips over his, taking each one between mine as he chuckled. “It’s kind of hot.”

  “Backwards hat, definite turn-on—noted,” he mumbled before grabbing a chunk of my hair and sliding his tongue between my lips in a way that stole my breath.

  I locked my arms around his neck and held him tight as my tongue met his. He tasted like honey. I tilted my head, deepening the kiss. Remembering I had nosy neighbors who liked to peek out windows, I pulled back just enough so our lips still touched. “You taste like honey. I asked you not to eat.”

  He nudged the tip of my nose with his. “Little snack.”

  “A snack with honey? And I’m the sugar freak?”

  “Peanut butter and honey. Tried it?” he asked.

  “No. I never thought to combine the two.”

  A sexy laugh moved through his chest, making my nipples even harder. “You will . . . ” His eyes dropped to my lips. “I think I’m obsessed with your mouth.”

  I smiled and put my lips to his ear. “It’s yours to do with as you wish.”

  “At some point, I’ll hold you to that.” He kissed my forehead and put me back on my feet. “Your girl here?” He nodded to the kitchen window.

  I glanced at the window and put my hand on the knob behind me. “Yeah, and we better go inside. She’s dying to meet you.”

  As I turned to open the door, he smacked my ass and I scuttled into the house with an over-the-shoulder scowl.

  When we entered the kitchen, there stood Annie, glass of wine in hand with a hip against the counter . . . waiting. She practically choked when Jaxx walked in behind me, barely making it under the top of the doorway. “Well, shit. She wasn’t kidding. You’re sky-high tall.” Putting the glass down, she moved me out of the way and offered her hand to Jaxxon. “Annie Rafferty. Best friend, housewife extraordinaire, and the one you’ll answer to if you hurt her. A pleasure to meet you.”

  Oh, shit.

  Jaxx inclined his head and took Annie’s hand with that wicked smirk I’d grown to love. “Jaxxon Reginhardt. The man she’s dating. Architect. I have two sisters and a daughter, so consider the warning received. Pleasure’s all mine, Annie.”

  Annie turned to me with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “Oh, he’s good.”

  You have no idea!

  I waved them over to the dinner table beyond the kitchen. “He has that effect. Okay, go sit. I’ll serve it up.”

  As Annie and Jaxx walked through the kitchen to the dining room, Chris and Kyle whined, waiting patiently for him to cross the barrier. My boys knew better than to enter the kitchen when I was cooking.

  Jaxx took a knee and tousled both their heads when he got to the dining room. “Hey guys, what’s goin’ on?” Chris and Kyle flanked him and inclined their heads.

  Annie gawked and turned back to me. “They like him? Chris likes him? Chris hates everyone.”

  I nodded, carrying one of the serving plates out to them. “They love him—even Chris.”

  “Satan’s hellhound doesn’t even like me.” Annie stood over Jaxx and the dogs, shaking her head before moving to take a seat. “Chris, I’m hurt.”

  “Chris likes you. You just don’t give him the attention he does.” I finished laying out dinner and took a seat after giving the boys the command to go lay down. As soon as J
axx settled, Annie started, and I sent up a prayer that God wouldn’t let her embarrass me too much.

  Jaxx put a hand out for Annie’s plate and served us both before serving himself. Judging by Annie’s raised eyebrow, that scored him some points.

  “So, Jaxxon . . . ”

  I cringed.

  He poured her more wine. “You can call me Jaxx.”

  “Well then, Jaxx . . . ” Annie turned to face him. “Are you one of hers?” She nodded at me. “Do you only eat weeds and drink creepy green shit you call protein shakes too? From the looks of you, I’m claiming Team Green.”

  His full-of-life laugh made even Annie smile more. She liked him. And my tension eased. Annie hated everyone when it came to me, so this was a plus.

  “I try,” he said, “but I have two kids who make eating clean a difficult task. For the most part, yeah, I eat pretty good, but when the kids are with me, I cave.”

  Annie raised her glass to him and they toasted. “Hear, hear. I also have two kids whose main food sources consists of anything made with processed carbs. How old are your kids?”

  Jaxx took a bite of the chicken and moaned.

  I had to laugh, because even Annie shifted in her seat.

  “Jesus, baby. This is phenomenal. For someone who hates cooking, you’re pretty damn good.”

  Annie rolled her eyes. “She cooks. Don’t let her bullshit you. But she bakes even better. Has she baked yet? Oh, wait, you guys only eat sprouts and broiled chicken,” she huffed. “Do yourself a favor, splurge and have her make the Better Than Sex cake. It’ll blow your mind.”

  Jaxxon raised an eyebrow. “Better Than Sex cake, huh? So you bake too?”

  I shrugged. “I used to bake a lot. I’m usually the holiday go-to baker. Me and Annie.”

  Annie topped off her wine. “Yeah, back when she ate like a normal person.”

  “Anyway, how was work?” I asked Jaxx.

  With a wave of her hand, Annie killed that subject. “Not like I don’t care how your work day was. But I have questions and since you have kids, you know I’m on a clock here.”

  “Oh, God. Annie . . . ” I cringed again.

  “What? He gets it.” She motioned a hand to him and narrowed her eyes at me.

  He winked and nodded. “I do understand and I got answers, best friend. Hit me.”

  “Are you a California native? Because it looks like some crazed scientist grew you at Muscle Beach.”

  After taking a long drink of water, he set the cup down and shook his head. I’d never asked him if he’d always lived here. I just figured he’d grown up in California.

  “No. My best friend, Chase, and I came to California for college. My family’s from Washington. My ex came with me, and my sisters married and moved here. My parents and some of our family still live in Washington.”

  I barely heard anything after Washington. The rest of his answer trailed off as if someone were talking to me in a far off tunnel. Annie’s hand on my knee pulled me back to the conversation, but my mind continued to reel. Jaxx was thirty-four. Twenty-five years ago he’d have been nine. Where? Where in Washington had he lived?

  “Baby, you okay?” Jaxxon asked me.

  I snapped my eyes to his. “Yep. Yeah. Good. I guess I thought you grew up here.”

  “Nope. Huskies to the grave.” He tilted his head, studying me.

  I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. If I told him we were from the same state, he’d want to know where. And then he’d want to know more . . .

  Annie came in for the save. “Valentina and I have been best friends for, what?” She turned to me. “Almost twenty-five years now? Her family moved here from out of state down the street from us, and we’ve been inseparable ever since.”

  I smiled and nodded before cutting my chicken into even smaller pieces.

  “I moved to Cali from Illinois when I was young,” Annie went on. “Been here ever since. Met my husband when I was twenty-one at a softball game, but that’s a story for another night.”

  The rest of the dinner went well, for the most part. I tried to keep steady and chime in when appropriate, but after hearing he was from Washington, I couldn’t focus. And knowing him, although he was the perfect gentleman and talked with Annie, I knew he’d noticed the change in my demeanor. The man missed nothing.

  After dinner, they helped me clear the table, and when Jaxxon started doing dishes, I stopped him. “Um, no. I got this. You start doing dishes, Annie might go home and beat Eric, and I love him. Can’t have that. We got this.”

  “She’s got a point. I love my man to death, but he doesn’t do dishes.” Annie scooted him out of the way with a hip.

  He kissed me lightly on the lips and hugged me. “That was worth the wait. Thank you for letting me crash your dinner, ladies. I’m going to hit up that office.”

  When the soft thud of the office door closed, Annie put her hand on mine. “V, he didn’t say where in Washington, and besides, he was just a kid. You’re okay.” She pulled me in for a hug, and I held onto her as if my world was about to end.

  “He’s not stupid,” I mumbled against her shoulder. “He noticed. I know he did.”

  Annie moved a stray piece of hair out of my eyes and wiped my cheeks with the towel. “Hon, you know I hate everyone. But that man . . . he’s a keeper. I know you haven’t known each other very long, but he probably did notice. He appears to take in everything. My guess though is that he’ll leave it. You turned pure fucking white, so I don’t think he’ll push.”

  I started washing the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher. “I hope you’re right.”

  Annie’s grip on my wrist stopped me. “Hey. Look at me.” When I turned to her, she put both hands on my shoulders. “Do not, and I repeat, do not, fuck this up. One day at a time. My gut says he won’t bring it up.”

  “Why? What makes you think that?” I asked, needing something to make me believe my past would stay buried.

  “It’s the way he’s . . . aware of you. He cares. That’s obvious, even to me. Relax. Now, let’s get this done and go watch Halloween.”

  I genuinely laughed for the first time since the word “Washington” had been mentioned. I admittedly had a sick obsession with horror movies, ever since Annie and I had met and started having “Halloween-a-thons” when we were younger. Maybe it was because I didn’t remember what happened to me, which now that I was remembering seemed a bit ironic, but my past didn’t change something I’d enjoyed most of my life.

  “It’s the end of January, Annie. Let’s watch The Devil’s Rejects. We only do Halloween in October.”

  She shrugged. “I dunno. There’s nothing like Michael Myers to scare shit back into place, and your fascination with Otis in Rejects disturbs even me. It’s just not right.”

  We finished the dishes and collapsed on the couch with Chris in his bed across the room, keeping an eye on everything. Kyle lay on my right, head in my lap. They only picked their heads up when Jaxxon finally emerged from the hallway.

  “Okay, baby. Almost there. Few more nights, and you’re good to go.”

  I yawned and stood up to go hug him, sawdust and all.

  Annie grabbed her purse and carried her glass to the kitchen. “That’s my cue.”

  Before she could come back in, Jaxxon pulled me in front of him. “I like Annie. She’s a straight shooter.”

  “I’m lost without her.” I wrapped my arms around his waist tighter than I probably should have, but it didn’t seem to faze him. “Will I see you tomorrow night?”

  “You want to see me tomorrow night?” he asked against my hair.

  “I always want to see you.”

  “Then I’ll be here after work. I’m going out of town Wednesday after I drop off the kids, though. I’ll be back Friday evening and come straight here, cool?”

  The frown came before I could stop it. I hated not seeing him first thing in the morning, but work was work. “Yes, please.”

  He tipped my chin up so I had to lo
ok at him. “Don’t plan on sleeping Friday night, sugar.” Leaning down to my ear, he bit my lobe. “I fully plan on making up for my absence.”

  And just like that, I was instantly wet.

  From the grin he was sporting when he pulled back, he knew exactly the reaction his words had on me. “You’re so lucky your friend’s here. Get some rest. You’re gonna need it.” He straightened and set his hands on my shoulders, glancing at his watch. “We’re way past our bedtime.” He chuckled. “And you better be at the gym.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  He kissed me on the forehead. “Sleep, baby. See you in the morning.” He turned to Annie, who’d just come out of the kitchen. “Come on, best friend, I’ll walk you to your car.”

  Annie kissed and hugged me. “Thank you, sir. Very kind.” She paused to smirk at me. “You’re okay,” she whispered, winked, and walked out the door ahead of Jaxx.

  Before he shut the door, he leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Dream of me, and make sure it’s dirty as fuck.”

  I laughed and kissed him before shutting the door, watching them walk to their cars through the window. Dream of him. If only I’d be that lucky.

  Turning off the lights, I walked with Chris and Kyle to the bedroom.

  Washington. I wiped my damp hands on my jeans. Did that moment in time have to contaminate every good thing in my life?

  No. I shook my head. Not this time.

  I did something I only did when I’d run too long on fumes—I took a sleeping pill to make sure I slept undisturbed. I hated taking pills, but once in a while, I had no choice. I’d fought sleep every night like an enemy, and after a while, it took a toll on my body. Tonight, I’d make sure I slept with no monsters waiting for me.

  31

  Valentina

  Sloths moved faster than the hands of that damn clock. I tried to avoid looking at the time, hoping that by ignoring it, the hours would move faster. The house had been cleaned. Twice. Dinner had been ready for the past half hour. The aroma of curried chicken filled the air, sending a spicy and delicious aroma throughout the entire house. I had nothing else to do but wait, and patience was not one of my better character traits.