Subtle Reminders

by D. J. Pierson

  “And I promised you something if you stayed. I’m pretty confident about which way you’re leaning.”

  “You can sleep in Jack’s bed,” I announced, getting to my feet. Vince stole my seat and Lex sat in his lap. BC stood, too. “Do you want to use the shower in the master bedroom? It’s better than the other one.”

  “I’ll pass,” she responded. I expected as much, but it bugged me that she didn’t feel right being in the house. My mom was going to have to be nicer next time they ran into each other.

  When we stepped into my room, BC inspected the familiar, yet different space. There was no doubt she noticed the few changes, but she didn’t say anything. The first time I was there after we broke up, I took down the pictures of us, along with all her seashells and other stuff she left lying around. Everything was still in the bottom drawer of the dresser, but showing her at that moment wouldn’t have done any good. I did, however, point out where Vince put her bag. With a nod, BC grabbed it and disappeared into the hallway bathroom. Seeing her upset again ripped a gaping hole through the center of my chest. I followed her, stopping short of knocking on the door. What the hell would I have said? Instead, I went to the master bathroom.

  Taking a shower typically took me less than five minutes, but the thoughts bouncing around my head kept me a little longer. By the time I made it back to my room, BC was fixing her hair in front of the mirror. She wore a white, loose-fitting top over dark blue jean shorts. The light color contrasted perfectly against the tan that was already starting to glisten, just like I knew it would.

  “Am I in your way?” BC asked softly. I hadn’t realized I was staring at her in the mirror.

  “Um… No, not at all.” Unwillingly, I tore my eyes from her and crossed the room to the closet. The effort to focus on finding a shirt was ridiculously difficult. After going through what hung in there a second time, I felt a gentle hand on my arm.

  “Did the clothes do something to piss you off, or was that me?” BC not only sounded worried, but looked it.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Why are you flipping through like a girl who has an entire closet full of designer clothes, the tags still on them, but claims she has nothing good to wear?”

  “I was?” She motioned toward the closet. Some of the shirts were dangling precariously from hangers. “Sorry. I was distracted.”

  BC reached in front of me and tugged a t-shirt off its hanger. “Wear this one.” I took it, and she walked back to the mirror.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled over my shoulder. When I saw her stretch for the makeup bag on the edge of the dresser, I walked up behind her and placed my hand on top of it. Our eyes locked in the mirror. My bare chest rested against her back, causing her breath to catch. “You don’t need this shit.”

  “I was just…” I pulled the bag away, tucking it under my arm. She turned around, the scent of her shampoo making me momentarily forget what the hell was going on. Or maybe it was because her beautiful face was only a few inches from mine. Either way, she paralyzed me.

  “I’m serious.” Somehow, I managed to pull myself together. “Why do you even bother wasting your time?”

  It was impossible to miss how her eyes traveled to my lips before slowly rising back up again. The creamy milk chocolate color got me every fucking time. Simply for the sake of touching her, I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, despite its already perfect placement. The action caused her eyelids to lower. My heart quit beating until she opened them again. It terrified me that maybe she’d be pissed, but that’s not what I saw. Longing, love, and a sadness I couldn’t comprehend were displayed. I desperately wanted to confess how I belonged to her. How I’d give anything if she’d put an end to my misery and take me back. How, no matter what came out of her mouth, I knew she wanted the same damn thing. Unfortunately, I didn’t. BC needed to be ready to hear it and, from what I could see, she wasn’t quite there yet.

  “Are you guys almost ready?” Lex yelled from the bottom of the stairs. BC spun back toward the mirror at the distraction.

  “As soon as Joey gives me my bag,” she called to her sister.

  “Stop being an ass, Sully. I want to get out before you start bitching that it’s too late.”

  “You’re not getting this,” I insisted to BC.

  She sighed, clearly annoyed. Was she irritated about me having her bag? Or because Lex’s interruption gave her a moment to consider what was going on between us? “I just need my lip gloss.”

  “Lip gloss, huh?” I pulled on the zipper and began searching. There was a bunch of crap to sort through.

  “Will you just give it to me?” She attempted to grab it, but I moved and she missed. “Damn it, Joey!” I tucked it protectively into my chest, the way a football player would, and shifted out of the way.

  “I could do this all night. You’re not going to win.”

  “No, you can’t. Lex will come up here and kick your ass.”

  “She doesn’t scare me.” Almost getting the corner of the bag from underneath my arm, BC groaned when she came up empty-handed once again. “Now, if you’ll be patient, I will gladly get the lip gloss for you.” Separating from her by another couple steps, I resumed my quest. In the chaos, the contents got jostled around so the lip gloss was on top of everything now. I held it out, smiling. “For you.” She snatched it from my hand, making me laugh. “Sore loser.”

  “Arrogant bastard.” She practically ripped off the cap, then smeared the sparkling gloss smoothly over both lips. “Put your damn shirt on and hurry up,” she snapped, snagging her sandals from beside the bed and escaping the room.

  “Is that your excuse?” I said. She looked back and I smirked. “You were distracted, weren’t you?”

  “Shut the fuck up!” she huffed, walking away.

  Damn right you were!

  A short time later, the four of us entered a bar three blocks from the house. Having one close enough to walk to was extremely convenient. It was a weeknight, but that didn’t faze the locals, many of whom stopped in on their way home from work. No matter where we went, Vince preferred to sit at the bar, so he started toward it. The girls followed him, but I stopped when I heard a familiar voice.

  “Holy shit! It’s not even officially summer yet and look who the hell strolls in.” The owner’s son came over. “What’s going on, Sullivan?”

  “Hey, Bobby. What’s up?” I shook his hand.

  “Same shit, different day.” He tilted his chin. “I recognize your friend and his girl, but who’s the other one?”

  “The love of my life,” I answered, stealing a quick peek at BC. He wouldn’t have known her. When she and I were together, Bobby wasn’t around. He wanted nothing to do with the bar at that time.

  “Does she know that?” he joked.

  “She used to.” I cleared my throat. “How’s business? Ready for the weather to warm up?”

  “I’m always ready, man. You know that.” We bullshitted about our families for a few minutes. His parents were some of the first people mine met when they bought the shore house. As he made sure I knew to remind my dad to stop by, I caught him eyeballing something over my shoulder. “Not to cut you off, but you may want to check that out.” Turning, I saw some guy had sat next to BC, but Vince had it under control.

  “No need to worry,” I confidently stated. “BC can handle anyone who comes in here.”

  “If she can deal with your sorry ass, I believe it,” he laughed, shaking my hand again. “Let me know if you need anything.”

  “Thanks, Bobby.”

  Strolling over, the bartender saw me coming and held up a bottle. I nodded. Everyone in the place knew me. She put it onto the counter as I stopped next to BC. One hand slid along her lower back, the other reaching for the bottle. Drawing it back, I took a long drink of the cold beer. Not uttering a word, the guy got up and walked away.

  “Sorry.” I shrugged at BC. “Habit.”

  “That’s what you get for taking my makeup,” sh
e countered.

  “Smartass,” I whispered, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

  Lex had enough sense not to expect us to stay out very late. That, or she wanted to make good on the promise she made Vince. Either way, we were heading back to the house a lot earlier than I thought. BC and Lex walked a few steps ahead, while Vince and I tagged along behind. The night was beautiful. Slightly chilly, but clear skies as far as the eye could see. Suddenly, BC stopped in her tracks as Lex continued on, snickering.

  “That’s messed up,” BC grumbled as we walked up to her.

  “What’s messed up?” Vince asked.

  “Alexa is a selfish brat,” she pouted.

  “Sometimes,” Vince agreed, chuckling. “What was it about this time?” He hung his arm over BC’s shoulders so she’d have no choice but to put one foot in front of the other again.

  “She won’t go to the boardwalk with me. I just want to grab a funnel cake. It’ll take five minutes.”

  “I told you. I have something to do. We can get one before we leave tomorrow,” Lex explained, barely looking back.

  “I’m seriously insulted right now,” I added, placing my hand on my chest.

  “Why?” BC questioned, still pouting.

  “You know how much I love funnel cake, but you ask her to go with you? That’s fucked up, B.”

  “I didn’t ask you because you need to get some sleep. You have to work tomorrow. Remember?” She drank just enough at the bar that she had to be feeling it. Damn, she was adorable.

  “If it will only take five minutes, what’s the big deal?”

  “Joey, will you please go to the boardwalk with me?” she pleaded. Her eyes seemed to be begging for something more, although it could’ve been my overactive imagination.

  “No,” I teased, grabbing her from Vince’s side and bringing her to mine.

  “Fine,” she sighed. “I guess I’ll go by myself. That works out better anyway. I won’t have to share.”

  “Like hell you will,” I informed her. She was capable of walking alone. I just didn’t want her to. Taking the keys from my pocket, I tossed them over BC’s head to Vince. “The alarm isn’t set. If you go upstairs, leave the front door unlocked, and don’t you dare go near my room.”

  Vince smirked. “If the door’s locked, it means we aren’t done yet,” he whispered. BC covered her ears, disgusted. He tilted his head and kissed her cheek, clearly amused. A comment about how his lips on my girl would get him knocked out nearly slipped.

  As Vince ran to catch up with Lex on the sidewalk, BC and I continued down the street, the sounds of the boardwalk growing louder with every step. The bells and whistles of games being played. The roar of the rides gliding over the tracks. The constant chatter of the crowd. Since it was really only open for schools, it was a smaller crowd than during the summer months. And, of course, the music. Different songs came at us from all angles. It wasn’t until you were close to the main source that you could focus on one.

  “Who’s this?” I tested her as we passed the store on the corner of the boardwalk and the ramp.

  “Bruno Mars.” I was about to correct her when she smiled. “I’m sorry. Mark Ronson, featuring Bruno Mars. For a split second, I forgot how important it was to be precise but, in my defense, he was singing at the time you asked.”

  We cut through the gathering of teenagers taking up most of the space, the funnel cake stand on the other side of them. After BC ordered, I paid before she could argue. While waiting for it to be cooked, we watched people pass by. It used to be such a simple thing to do. However, I saw people a lot differently since becoming a cop. It wasn’t something I could switch on and off, either. I scrutinized everyone. What they did. How they acted. Things they said. It felt like I was always on patrol. Always ready to defend if the need arose. The feeling only intensified with BC nearby.

  “Thank you,” BC said when the man handed her the plate of fried dough and powdered sugar.

  “You look deliriously happy right now,” I teased, directing her to a table.

  She shrugged and smiled. “It’s the little things in life.” I couldn’t have agreed more.

  We took turns breaking off pieces of the snack. Eating this kind of shit was so much easier ten years earlier. Now, I just hoped the sweetness didn’t keep me awake. Maybe funnel cake would be a good thing to keep on hand at the station for overnight shifts. It might have been more effective than an entire pot of coffee.

  “Lex doesn’t know what she’s missing.” BC took one last bite and brushed her hands on the napkin. I wasn’t as conservative. Using the finger with the most sugar on it, I touched the tip of her nose. “Sullivan!” she hollered, using her forearm to get it off. I laughed. “You’re an ass.”

  “Come on,” I said, grabbing the garbage to drop in the can. Instead of heading in the direction of the house, though, I led her further onto the boardwalk.

  “Where are we going?” she wondered.

  “One game.”

  “Joey, let’s just go. I don’t want you to be tired tomorrow.”

  “Just one.” She sighed, knowing there was no way I’d change my mind. “What do you want?” Games were my thing. The number of stuffed animals I had won for her on that very boardwalk would make any little kid jealous.

  “I just want to put my pajamas on.”

  “Pick something or I will. You know what happens if it comes down to that.” If she didn’t pick, I’d find the biggest, ugliest stuffed animal and make her carry it. She only ever called my bluff once.

  “Fine.” She looked around until she spotted something. “There.” I looked where she indicated.

  “The monkey?” She nodded. The thing was light brown and about a foot high. I smiled. It was a very typical choice for BC. Then I noticed it happened to be the easiest, most boring game on the entire boardwalk. “This isn’t even a challenge,” I groaned, pulling out money. Shooting water into a small circle and being the first to raise the object to the top was child’s play. Not even a shred of guilt crept in when I beat the kids who played against me. It was their own fault.

  BC held me to my word of only one game and, all too soon, we were back at the house. Lex was sitting on the chair in the living room when we walked in. “Vince went to bed, but I’m not tired. Want to watch a movie?” she asked her sister.

  “Sure,” BC responded. I hated that the night had abruptly ended. I already missed her.

  She looked at Joey. “Vince wants to leave around four-thirty so he can go home and check on things at the house first.”

  “Okay. Stay as long as you want tomorrow. Good night, girls.”

  “’Night, Sully,” Lex said.

  “Hey, Joey?” I turned toward BC. “Thanks for going with me, and for him.” She held up the stuffed animal.

  I smiled. “Anytime.”

  Going upstairs, I thought there would be no sleeping for me that night, but the hot sun had a way of wiping me out, regardless of what was on my mind.

  It felt as though only minutes had passed when my alarm went off at four o’clock. BC hadn’t come to bed. I purposely left the door wide open and kept to one side of the mattress, hoping she’d be next to me when my eyes opened. The disappointment bothered me until I made my way downstairs. Both girls were sound asleep on opposite ends of the couch, and the movie was stuck on the menu screen. They probably didn’t make it halfway through. Vince walked by me, grumbling how he’d be in the car. Before leaving, I went over to BC. The monkey was tucked under her arm, and her head rested on the small, decorative pillow. Neither one of the girls looked comfortable, but I didn’t want to disturb them. Carefully, I brushed my thumb over BC’s cheek and left, wishing there were nowhere else in the world I needed to be.

  The ride home was quiet, except for the talk show Vince had on the radio. Not really paying much attention to it, I stared out the window, lost in thought. My mind replayed every moment I spent with BC the previous day. Picturing her smile, I wondered how I could’ve been so stu
pid. I considered the fact that maybe she deserved someone better than me. Someone who wouldn’t have caved into her request of proving his love by letting her go. Someone who would’ve dropped everything and gone to her, despite the fear she instilled in him. Someone who wouldn’t have to live with regrets every day of his life. When Vince turned onto my street, my phone chimed with a text. I almost didn’t check it because nothing good could be happening at that hour of the morning, but curiosity won.

  Lex: Thought you’d want to see this…

  It was a picture of BC sitting on the beach and watching the sunrise in the same exact spot I used to take her. She had no idea Lex was there. She sat on a blanket, her arms around her knees, her hair blowing in the breeze.

  My mind switched gears. I needed a reason to see her after my shift. Hell, it didn’t even need to be a good one.

  The guys couldn’t have been gone very long before something pulled me from a deep slumber. It was still dark enough that my eyes needed to adjust to the room. Alexa’s legs crisscrossed mine in the limited space we occupied on the couch. My neck ached from the hard pillow under my head, which wasn’t meant to be slept on. Once we realized how exhausted we actually were last night, neither of us felt like getting up, so Lex and I decided to let the movie play and stay put. She didn’t want to risk waking up Vince, and I planned on sleeping there anyway. My only regret was not asking Joey for something a little more comfortable to lie on prior to him going upstairs; however, it was best not to start a conversation that would result with me in his bed. A guest room at someone else’s house was one thing, but a place we had previously shared was a completely different story.

  It took quite an effort to unravel myself from my sister. Fortunately, she had never been easy to wake, which aided in my successful escape. Soreness radiated all over as I tried stretching out the kinks. Figuring they left, I peered out the window in search of Lex’s SUV. It no longer sat behind my car. Despite my best attempt at keeping it away, sadness crept in. Falling back asleep wouldn’t be possible, so I grabbed Joey’s sweatshirt from the closet and made sure the spare key was still in the pocket of my shorts. It felt lonely taking the trip without Joey. He always came with me.