Subtle Reminders

by D. J. Pierson

  Soon, the sun would be rising over the horizon. The sky had already begun brightening in anticipation of its arrival. A breeze coming off the ocean held the temperature down, so I pulled the sweatshirt over my head and tucked myself into the warm material. I hoped he wouldn’t mind me borrowing it. For a while, the sounds of the beach were relaxing. However, just as the tip of the sun rose slightly, a startling reminder of what woke me up came crashing down around me. I had the dream again. The recurring nightmare that continually haunted me and probably would until the day I died. The one that never let me forget why it was best to stay away from Joey Sullivan.

  For over a week, I had been packing my things to head back to college for my junior year. It was supposed to be the best one yet. Joey’s new schedule allowed him a bit more free time, so he’d be able to come visit more often. Going for months without seeing each other was hard, but we knew the payoff in the end would be worth it. He promised to make the four-hour trip once every three or four weeks to spend a long weekend. It was a lot longer than the few hours we spent apart during the summer, but it was better than what we had. Needless to say, we were both beyond excited. When he asked me to put the rest of packing on hold to go to his cousin’s party the night before leaving, I dropped everything and went with him.

  Because I had to shower and get ready, we were the last to arrive at Donnie’s house. Even though most of the guests were underage, Joey’s aunt permitted her son to have everyone over. Apparently, she felt better knowing we’d be in a safe environment rather than out where she’d have no control whatsoever. By the time we got there, practically everyone was drunk or, at the very least, well on their way. Some kids were dancing in the living room. There were a bunch milling throughout the kitchen and dining area. A small group sat around the stone fire pit at the edge of the patio in the backyard.

  “Christ. My dad would be so pissed if he knew this shit was going on,” Joey mumbled, looking around. “Let’s just show our faces and disappear. Remember not to drink anything unless I get it for you. I know where my uncle keeps his stuff that hasn’t been spiked.”

  “So protective,” I mocked him. He ran a hand through my hair and kissed me.

  “Get a fucking room, Sullivan!” Vince yelled, patting Joey’s shoulder. He and two other guys from their baseball team came over to join us. “You’re late. Couldn’t you have done that bullshit before you got here?”

  “Don’t get him started, Lyons,” Cody warned, tipping back his beer. “No one needs to see what happens when somebody talks shit about Brielle.”

  “I’m not talking shit about Brie. I actually like her. It’s him who irritates the fuck out of me,” Vince corrected his friend. I laughed and accepted the hug he gave me. “Do you really have to leave already? You just got home.”

  “I’ll be back before you know it,” I promised. “Keep Joey in line for me, okay?”

  “Why the hell do I get the hard job?” Vince whined.

  “Fuck off, man,” Joey chimed in, extending his arm around my waist and pulling me to rest against him, placing a small peck on my jaw. “Maybe the next time you come home, I’ll have some better friends.”

  “Whatever. Your loss.” Vince shrugged.

  We stood there, chatting, not bothering too much with the others at the party. As kids, Joey and Donnie were close since they lived on the same street, but they drifted apart once they went to different high schools. Donnie’s parents sold their house a week before freshman year started. Still, they remained loyal, showing up when invited. Joey wasn’t a fan of most of his cousin’s new friends, which was the reason he became even more protective than normal. They never did anything to me personally, but Joey didn’t take any chances.

  As I drank the beer Joey had given me, the guys discussed strategies for their upcoming game. When I needed a break, I told Joey I had to use the bathroom. Even a girl who loves sports can only take so much testosterone-fueled banter.

  I set the empty can on the counter. Joey whispered, “Go upstairs.” I shot him a look. What the hell could possibly happen in a house full of people? Deep down, even he understood he could sometimes be unreasonable, but I knew he’d follow me if I used the one on the first floor. No one was supposed to go upstairs because his aunt was home. It was one of the few rules of having the party at her house. He sighed. “Please?”

  “Fine,” I agreed, just to ease his mind. He helped me slide off the stool.

  “If you run into Donnie, tell him we have to go.” It wasn’t until then that it occurred to me we hadn’t seen him all night.

  I felt Joey’s eyes on me all the way up the stairs. Reaching the top one, I glanced over my shoulder to see him wink at me. The emotions he stirred in me would only ever belong to him. Two more years of college and we’d be together every day for the rest of our lives.

  Joey had brought me over to his cousin’s house many times, so it was familiar. The bathroom was just to the right of the stairs, across from Donnie’s bedroom. It struck me as odd that the room was closed off because he had somewhat of an open door policy. His mom yelled at him all the time to close it, especially when he played his guitar, but he never did.

  Not in a rush to get back downstairs, I took my time. My hair looked fine, but I played with it in the mirror anyway. My lip gloss was almost gone, so it needed to be reapplied. Joey would panic if I didn’t come back down soon, so I opened the door, shoving my gloss back into my wristlet.

  The hallway was more crowded than when I went in. Donnie stood in his doorway with five other people, who all stopped talking and stared at me. Donnie smirked.

  “How’s it going, Brie?”

  “Hey, Donnie. Joey’s looking for you. He wants to head out in a few if you want to talk with him before we leave.”

  “I can see him whenever.” He shrugged, uninterested. Something was off. Really, really off.

  “Um, okay. I’ll see you around.” I only got as far as the top step.

  “Brielle? You got a second?” He motioned with his head for his friends to walk away, blocking me from continuing forward.

  “Sorry. Joey is checking his watch. I have to get back.”

  “Yo,” Donnie called out to one of his friends. “If my cousin is looking for his girl, let him know she’s with me.” The shady guy only nodded, then disappeared around the corner. Looking back at me, Donnie shook his head. “I just don’t get it.”

  “What’s that?” I cautiously wondered.

  “Why Joe keeps all these secrets.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “For years, he’s been dating the hottest girl I’ve ever seen and he doesn’t share a damn thing with those of us not fortunate enough to take her for a spin. Don’t get me wrong. He’s a decent guy, but something’s off with that. It’s not normal for a dude not to give details.”

  “I don’t know what the hell’s going on with you, but that doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole,” I spit out and tried to turn away. He grabbed my elbow and spun me so my back hit the wall. He held me in place with one hand, his other resting on the wall next to my head.

  “So, tell me,” he breathed out, the smell of alcohol and something I wasn’t familiar with filling the small space between us. “What’s the big secret? Either you’re the best fucking lay in the entire world and he’s afraid someone may try to find out, or he’s not man enough to have fucked you yet. Which is it?” His face came closer to mine and my stomach twisted.

  “Get the fuck off me!” My attempt to push him away was ineffective. He adjusted to get a better grip and drove his whole body into mine, pinning me to the wall.

  His evil grin widened. “Maybe I should just find out for myself.” The music blaring from below would muffle any scream I’d get out.

  “Donnie, stop before you do something you’ll regret.” Surprisingly, my voice didn’t falter.

  “Who says I’ll regret it?”

  “Stop!”

  “What are you going to do?”

  �
��This isn’t you.” He ran his hand over my bare arm. I struggled under his grasp.

  “Oh, but it is. Trust me. I could do more for you than Joe ever could.” His lips were near my ear, and bile rose in my throat, triggering a cough. When Donnie’s hold slipped, I took the opportunity to push against him. He stumbled backward, but regrouped before I could escape. Somehow, we ended up on the opposite side of the hall. “What the hell are you so afraid of, Brie?” he laughed, positioning his forearm across my chest and his leg in between my legs. “Is it because you’re afraid I’m right?”

  “Fuck you!”

  “Sweetheart, you have no idea how badly I’d love take you to my room and…”

  He kept talking, but something caught my eye as I turned my head away from him. There was a table at the top of the stairs just an arm’s length away, a glass lamp sitting on it. I managed to wriggle closer to reach the lamp. Praying the cord wouldn’t get hung up on something, I swung as hard as I could. Not only did the cord extend far enough, it also knocked over the flimsy table. The glass shade connected with the back of Donnie’s head, shattering. Tiny shards of glass rained down all over him and the floor.

  “You fucking bitch!” he yelled, grabbing his head.

  A door from the other end of the hallway flew open. “What the hell’s going on?” Donnie’s mom came running in our direction. When he pulled his hand away, it was covered in blood. She glared at me. I still held the lamp. “What the fuck did you do to him?”

  “You should be more worried about what he almost did to me,” I said, beginning to tremble.

  “Donald?” she questioned. There was no surprise in her tone, but there was alarm.

  “Don’t give me that,” he barked at his mom. “Look at her! The bitch was asking for it!”

  I threw the lamp down on the carpet next to him, stepped over the cord, and started for the stairs.

  “Brielle?” Thinking she was going to ask how I was, I stopped. “I’ll take care of this. My nephew doesn’t need to be troubled with it.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “I’ll tell him I saw the whole thing and that it was all you. I’m his family. He’ll believe me. If he doesn’t, Pete will.”

  “See?” Donnie cackled. “Even my mom thinks you’re a whore!”

  Forcing myself to walk away instead of hitting him again, I bolted down the steps and over to where Joey stood with the guys.

  “What’s the matter?” He wrapped his arms around me.

  “Uh, nothing. I’m not feeling well. Do you mind taking me home?” The lie wasn’t because of what his aunt had said. It was because if I told him the truth, we wouldn’t be walking out until he was in handcuffs. I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

  “Sure.” He offered a quick goodbye to his friends and we were out the front door. As we got to his Jeep, he held me before opening the door. “Did something happen that I should know about?”

  I plastered on a small, fake smile. “No. My stomach is acting up. I should rest before the long drive tomorrow.”

  “BC…?”

  “Joey, I’m fine. I swear.”

  It was the truth. Nothing actually happened, so I would be fine. The whole thing just momentarily stunned me because it wasn’t something I ever thought would’ve happened. Something wasn’t right with Donnie tonight. He had never acted that way before and, once he sobered up, I was sure he’d be full of regrets. I couldn’t worry about him, though. Convincing Joey everything was okay would be hard enough.

  The next day, Joey didn’t want me to leave. He could tell I had stayed awake most of the night crying, but it was only because anger had set in. Who the hell was Donnie to ruin my last few hours with Joey? What did I ever do to deserve his bullshit? What was wrong with him? Clearly, he had done more than drink. How long had he been doing drugs? Should I tell Joey about that? After considering my options, I decided if Donnie wanted to screw up his life, he could go right ahead. His mom could deal with him. Joey didn’t need to get involved. He had his own stuff to worry about.

  Moving back into the dorm went smoothly. Rebecca, my roommate, lived closer than I did, so she stored most of our stuff for the summer. When I got there, she had almost everything moved back in. We went out for dinner and spent the night with friends. On Sunday, what happened with Donnie was a distant memory, practically forgotten.

  The first week of classes tended to be hectic while everybody adjusted to a new schedule. Assuming that was the reason for my exhaustion, I trudged through the first day feeling hungover. By the time my last class ended in the early evening, I could barely keep my eyes open. Mondays were pretty full for me, but it made the rest of my week lighter, which was nice.

  Hoping a stroll in the fresh air would give me a second wind, I took the path that looped through the open area of the student union in the middle of campus. The benches along the walkway were filled with students chatting with friends or grabbing a quick bite to eat while waiting for their next class. Not feeling any better when I reached the end, I headed toward the dorms.

  Immediately recognizing the person standing at the front corner of my building, I stumbled on the curb, taking a second to catch myself. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you. Why else would I be here?” Donnie said sarcastically, leaning comfortably against the brick building.

  “You need to leave.” I kept my distance, but was close enough to see the same crazy look in his eyes.

  “Why so paranoid, Brie? You ran out so quickly the other night, I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”

  “That was me saying goodbye. Just go the hell home.”

  “I will…as soon as we talk.”

  “I have nothing to say.”

  “Brielle!” someone called, interrupting. I turned and greeted a girl who was in a few of my classes last semester. When I looked back, Donnie was walking toward the parking lot. Thankful, I smiled at her and we walked inside, sitting in the lounge area of our building so we could talk about the summer. Whenever the front door opened, I glanced up to see who came in. After thirty minutes, I apologized, saying I needed to get back to my room, promising we’d get together soon.

  Climbing the last of the three flights of stairs, I paused to catch my breath. Suddenly, I felt sick. Figuring it was because I hadn’t eaten in a while, I rounded the corner to go through the door to my floor. Donnie stood there, blocking the way.

  “What the fuck?” I jumped, startled. When he slowly walked toward me, I moved back. “Seriously, Donnie. You need to get the hell out of here before someone calls security.”

  “Why didn’t my cousin come to kick my ass?” I sighed, wanting absolutely nothing to do with him. “I want you to tell Joe. He deserves to know. You should’ve told him right away.”

  “No.”

  “I remember what my mom said to you. Don’t worry about her. I’ll tell him the truth. She thinks she’s helping, but she’s not. I need to face what happened…what could’ve happened.” He rubbed his head. “It should come from you, but if you don’t tell him, I will.” I shook my head. “I was pretty fucked up. I realize I desperately need professional help. The drugs… The alcohol… It’s a vicious cycle I can’t stop on my own. You don’t have to protect me.”

  “The reason Joey doesn’t know is not out of any concern for you. I couldn’t care less about you or whatever problems you may have. Deal with shit however you have to, except for telling him.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “And I’m not going to explain myself to you or anyone else.” If Joey found out, he’d lose all control, probably doing something that would potentially destroy his career. I’d never let it happen. Ever. He worked too hard to get to where he was. He wanted it too damn bad to ruin the opportunity over a loser like Donnie.

  He stretched out to take hold of my arm, but I pulled away at the last second. Not realizing how close I was to the steps, the sudden motion sent me tumbling down them. The next thing I
remembered, my eyes opened to the adorable guy who lived across the hall from us holding my head. Other people had also gathered around.

  “Don’t move,” he told me. “The ambulance is on its way.”

  “I’m fine,” I grumbled, attempting to sit up.

  “Really, Brielle. Don’t move. You hit your head quite a few times.” Not only did the cute boy know my name, he saw the whole damn thing? Fabulous. I was going to have to transfer to some other school. “Did that guy push you?”

  “What guy?” My intention wasn’t to let Donnie off the hook, but if I said I knew him, Joey would somehow find out. That wouldn’t end well.

  “We were on our way up when we heard you tell him not to touch you. I tried to catch you, but it was over before I could react. I’m so sorry.”

  Mortified, I tried to explain. “Technically, no, he didn’t push me. I moved so he couldn’t touch me and I fell. I’m so clumsy.” The longer I stayed there, the more my body hurt. “I have to get up.”

  “No way.”

  “I couldn’t find him,” another voice announced.

  “Where the fuck could he have gone?” cute boy asked.

  “Don’t know, man. Is she all right?”

  “We’ll find out when the stupid ambulance finally gets here.” He looked over at the person watching down the second set of stairs. “Anything?”

  “They’re pulling up now.”

  “Brie?!” Rebecca knelt next to me. “What the hell? Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled to my roommate, extending a hand. “Help me up.”

  “Will you stop being so fucking stubborn?” the boy snapped. I wished I knew his name so I could properly holler at him. Why didn’t he understand a girl could only take so much humiliation for one day?

  The chaos that ensued passed like a flash. The EMTs were firing questions so fast, I couldn’t keep up. They stabilized my neck, put me on a stretcher, checked my vitals, then pushed me from the building. At one point, I told them not to bother taking me to the hospital because I’d be dead from embarrassment before we got there. One chuckled. Way to make the situation better for me, dude!