Lake Hill

by Margareta Osborn

  ‘Has Rick cancelled your dog school?’

  Montana looked taken aback. ‘No. Was he planning to? Oh my God, he’s worse than I thought!’

  Julia wanted to jump into a hole. ‘I just thought –’

  ‘No, it’s worse than that, although that’s pretty darned low.’ She paused for effect. ‘My bloody brother won’t help me find my father!’

  Julia sucked in a breath. What she’d briefly heard of Chloe’s and Montana’s conversation at Lottie’s wake came flooding back.

  ‘I’ve known Cormac wasn’t my dad for a while now,’ Montana went on. ‘And I’m sick of Rick pretending to be my father and ordering me around. I’m going to find my real dad.’

  Julia was silent. She didn’t want to discuss this with Chloe eavesdropping in the kitchen.

  ‘You don’t believe me, do you? He’s charmed you like he charms everyone. They all think he’s amazing and wonderful and … and … I guess he is, but he’s so controlling! He wants me to be a good girl and sell real estate and have babies, rather than what he calls “playing” with working dogs. He wants me to sit down, shut up and be good little sister Montana who he can tell what to do, and just leave him to run the company how he sees fit.’

  Montana ran out of breath, and took a mouthful of her coffee. Julia took a gulp of her own drink. It suddenly hit her that Montana was like Chloe, and she, Julia, was like Rick, holding back on telling her daughter who her father was just because she wanted to save her own skin.

  ‘I’m probably not the best person to talk to about this, Montana.’

  ‘No, she’s not,’ said a voice from the kitchen doorway.

  Chloe. Shit.

  ‘As you know, I agree with you,’ Chloe went on. ‘But Julia doesn’t think knowing who your father is is very important.’

  The silence was loaded.

  Montana frowned, looking between the two of them.

  Julia rushed to fill the breach. ‘My relationship with my own father wasn’t great. So I don’t see the point in stirring up things that mightn’t turn out to be good for you.’

  ‘But isn’t that up to the individual?’ interrupted Chloe. ‘What gives you the right to make a decision on behalf of someone else?’

  Julia glared at her daughter. ‘I believe Ernie said you need to keep an eye on that oven.’

  Chloe’s scowl was as black as charcoal. She looked towards Ernie, eyes beseeching, but he appeared to be in another world entirely. The girl’s bottom lip dropped and she reluctantly retraced her steps into the kitchen.

  Montana was off again. ‘Well, I’m going to find him even if Rick won’t tell me who he reckons he is. I’ve done some research and Mother was doing a film with Robert Porter around the time I would’ve been conceived. I’ve done heaps of reading up on him and he loves animals, like me, and he’s an amazing actor but can’t paint or draw for shit, also like me. And he’s got red hair, and seeing there’s no redheads in our family – bingo! He has to be my father, doesn’t he?’

  Julia recalled her conversation with Rick on this very matter and had to admit Montana was probably right on the money. But that was a conversation the two Hallorans had to have with each other.

  She was curious about one thing, though. ‘How did you come to the conclusion that Cormac wasn’t your dad?’

  Montana rolled her eyes. ‘He told me. After Mother died. He apologised for ignoring me most of my life. Said he felt guilty, but explained he couldn’t bear to look at me because I was proof Mother hadn’t loved him most of all.’

  ‘But she did,’ burst out Ernie.

  They both turned to stare at him.

  ‘I mean, I’m sure she must have. It was just … she needed more reassurance as she got older … And Cormac … well, he wasn’t exactly easy to live with either, you know.’ Ernie mopped at his brow with a hanky hastily pulled from his pocket. ‘Their relationship was extremely intense. Artists, both of them – not very practical, quite selfish. Their passion for each other though was deeply real. Exquisite, really.’ He sniffed.

  Julia was amazed. Was Ernie crying? Again?

  Montana put down her mug and went to pat Ernie’s shoulder. ‘You’re such a dear. I know you were a good friend to both of them.’

  Julia wanted to ask more about Cormac and what else he’d said to Montana. But the look on the girl’s face as she left Ernie’s side and went back to her coffee stopped her. She could see Montana was hurting badly.

  Instead she said, ‘So what are you going to do next?’

  Montana narrowed her eyes as if thinking, but Julia could see by the resolute glint in her dark eyes that she’d already made up her mind.

  ‘I’m going to front this Robert Porter guy and ask him to do a paternity test. And if he doesn’t agree then I’ll … well, something.’

  ‘And you’re doing all this because you’re angry about Rick not wanting you to have a go at training working dogs?’ Julia asked.

  ‘Yes,’ said Montana, nodding her head and looking defiant. ‘Fuck him. He can’t keep telling me what to do forever.’

  ‘And finding your real father is going to stop that?’

  Montana paused, taken aback. ‘Well, it will, won’t it? Rick can’t be ordering me around like he’s my father if I’ve actually got a father, can he?’

  Julia started to laugh. ‘He’s your big brother, Montana. He thinks it’s his job to tell you what to do, regardless if you have a father or not.’

  Montana glared at her across the table. ‘That’s what Owen said,’ she finally admitted, her lips in a pout. ‘But it doesn’t matter. I want to know who my real dad is. And if, if, I ever have babies, it’d be good to know my medical history. That’s what I told Owen and Rick anyway.’

  ‘All sound like good reasons to me,’ said Chloe from the doorway.

  Julia pointedly ignored her, although she could feel the girl’s eyes boring through her skull.

  Chloe moved into the room and handed Montana her phone. ‘I’ve just Googled that Porter bloke. This article says he’s always wished he had kids.’

  The room was deathly silent as Montana read what was on the screen. Julia was struggling with what to say. So many emotions were flying at her, the greatest being guilt.

  ‘Owen thinks the medical thing is a good idea too,’ Montana said as she handed the mobile back to Chloe with a word of thanks. ‘Rick wasn’t convinced though.’

  ‘He doesn’t want you to be disappointed, that’s all,’ said Julia. ‘He’s trying to look after you.’

  ‘I’m old enough to make that decision for myself,’ Montana said. ‘I just need all the facts.’

  ‘Exactly,’ said Chloe. ‘Couldn’t have said it better myself.’

  She’d moved back to the kitchen doorway, as if to get as far away from her mother as possible.

  Montana looked speculatively at her. ‘Have you been through this too? You know, tried to find your father?’

  Now Julia had to swing around and acknowledge her daughter. And it was Chloe’s turn to ignore her.

  ‘Yeah, kind of,’ she said. ‘I’ve got no idea who he is though. Wish I did.’ She flung a challenging glare at Julia.

  ‘So you know who your mother is?’ Montana asked.

  ‘Yeah.’

  Her tone was wary, which annoyed Julia. Was Chloe doubting Julia was her mother now? The girl had the bluebird bracelet to prove it: Julia engraved on one side, and Chloe on the other. She’d left a scribbled note for Sylvia in the envelope containing the bracelet, asking her not to change the baby’s Christian name. It was the one small thing Julia had requested when she’d surrendered her daughter to what she’d hoped would be a better life.

  ‘Is she nice?’ Montana was intently focused on Chloe.

  Julia’s palms started sweating and her breathing accelerated until she was almost gasping. Calm down, she instructed herself. But she found herself poised on the edge of her seat waiting for Chloe’s reply.

  ‘She’s okay,’ came the reluctant
answer.

  ‘Well, mine was a bitch.’

  ‘Montana!’ The reprimand was out of Julia’s mouth before she realised.

  ‘You didn’t know her,’ defended Montana.

  Oh, yes, I did. And she was a complete bitch.

  ‘Still, she was your mother. You don’t say things like that.’

  ‘If mine was a bitch, I’d tell her,’ said Chloe from the doorway.

  You would, thought Julia. Then felt awful for thinking that about her daughter.

  ‘Mother never had any time for me,’ Montana said. ‘The only time I felt she even liked me was when visitors came to stay and I’d be all dressed up and trotted out like some doll. Even Bet-Bet thought it was stupid, and she’d get darling Ernie here to take me into Lake Grace and buy me a lime spider at the corner store to make up for it.’

  Ernie’s only response was a grunt.

  ‘I had a friend like that,’ said Chloe. ‘Lauren. When things got really tough and I left home, she’d always have a little surprise for me. A song, a crazy Facebook meme or even sometimes a book to make the bad things go away.’

  Montana and Julia stared at Chloe. She was gazing out the window with a faraway, almost remorseful expression.

  In the kitchen a timer went off and she snapped back to the present.

  ‘Anyway, if you find this rich and famous Robert dude, your brother won’t be such a big man any more,’ she told Montana. ‘That’ll teach him.’

  ‘Chloe!’ Julia said.

  Her daughter didn’t even flinch. ‘I really hope you find your proper dad. I doubt I’ll find mine.’ She scowled again at her mother and headed back into the kitchen.

  Julia dropped her head, blushing furiously. She heard the oven opening and closing, then the scent of date scones wafted out.

  Montana sniffed the air, oblivious to Julia’s distress. ‘Yum, they smell just like Bet-Bet’s.’

  ‘Probably because it’s her recipe,’ said Julia. ‘Ernie here is doing a great job teaching Chloe how to bake.’

  Whereas I’m a terrible, terrible mother.

  Ernie barely acknowledged the compliment. He stood up, shoved his hanky in his pocket, and wrestled with the door handle.

  ‘Julia, you’re doing a fabulous job giving Chloe a chance,’ said Montana, getting up too. ‘Thanks for taking some time out to listen to me. You too, Ernie.’

  The older man nodded as he finally got the door open.

  They all walked onto the verandah, and Montana pulled on her boots, more leisurely in her movements now, as if having a plan of action had calmed her.

  Ernie, on the other hand, was rushing along the path as if he were late for an appointment.

  ‘See ya, Ernie!’ Montana yelled to his retreating back.

  The elderly doctor gave that big country wave Julia was becoming used to, the one that encompassed everything from ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ to ‘I’m alright, you can drive on.’

  ‘I’ll be off then,’ said Montana. ‘Our dog school’s shaping up well. I’ve got a full house – fifteen people, heaps of lookers, and lots of dogs. It’s so exciting. I can’t wait.’

  Montana sauntered off to her ute, patted a dog or two in the tray, and drove away, leaving a plume of yellow dust that rose into the air over Lake Hill.

  Rather than going back inside, Julia pulled on her own boots. She needed some space away from her daughter, to think.

  Chapter 24

  Julia had a big smile on her face as she walked up the hill towards the cafe after another night of lovemaking. Rick’s goodbye kiss was still warm on her lips, and she could still feel his strong arms clasping her tight. Her mind drifted to all the precious nights they’d spent together, the love and trust blooming between them. And then to the big revelation put off for yet another day …

  Chloe was waiting on the verandah, arms folded and scowling. Recently she’d been going for long walks to find good internet service. ‘It’s shit out here,’ was her most used phrase at the moment as she walked around in circles holding up her phone in the hope of finding a signal. She was at the Grange several mornings a week, and when she was at the cottage she’d taken to staying in her room when she wasn’t working with Ernie in the kitchen.

  Her first words to Julia weren’t encouraging. ‘I know what you’ve been up to again. It won’t last!’

  The pleasure Julia had been feeling evaporated like a puff of dust in the wind. Wasn’t it supposed to be the other way around – a mother chastising her child after they’d stayed out all night?

  ‘What do you mean?’ she asked, wary. She’d stayed at Rick’s plenty of other nights without this kind of greeting.

  ‘Mr High and Mighty’s gunna find out about me eventually, and then what’s he gunna say? He’s so pure and white, he isn’t gunna like that you played around like a naughty girl and then gave your only daughter away. Look what he’s like about his sister!’

  How dare she say that! Giving her baby to Sylvia was the only thing Julia could do at the time to give her daughter the best chance at a good life.

  ‘How kind of you to be so concerned about my love life,’ she said, not wanting the girl to see she’d hit home. ‘But quite frankly it’s absolutely nothing to do with you.’

  The girl swelled with indignation. ‘You’re all the same, aren’t you?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘That’s exactly what Sylvia said when me and Lauren told her it was all going to go to shit!’

  Julia was silent.

  ‘See! It’s all about you. That’s why we have to keep this a secret, isn’t it? He’s so strong on family, you know he’s gunna hate that you gave your baby away. Maybe I should tell him! How’d you like that, huh?’

  Julia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Is that a threat?’

  ‘Sure is. This Rupert bloke obviously isn’t my dad ’cause the dates are all wrong. You tell me who my father is and I’ll keep quiet.’

  Oh. My. God. Julia couldn’t believe this was her daughter standing in front of her, blackmailing her! And it’s all your fault. Guilty, guilty, guilty, as charged!

  ‘I said I’d tell you who your father is once we got to know each other.’

  ‘Yeah right, and when’s that gunna be? I might be missing out on stuff.’

  ‘Like what?’ Julia knew she sounded suspicious but couldn’t help it.

  ‘His love. His time,’ said Chloe. ‘And perhaps he might even help me out with some money to get me on my feet. I mean, you obviously can’t seeing you just bought this joint.’

  Julia stayed silent. The girl had no idea. She was just a kid really, and all kids were after cash at some stage, weren’t they?

  ‘So when are you going to spill?’ Chloe demanded.

  The stubborn look in the girl’s eyes told Julia that she wasn’t going to let up until she had an answer. She thought fast.

  ‘Christmas Day. I’ll tell you then.’

  That’d give her time to gather her courage and tell Rick – for better or worse. Another thought came to her: two could bargain in this way.

  ‘But after that, you need to tell me everything about your childhood,’ she added. ‘Where you lived, what you’ve been doing since Sylvia died, and how you came to be here.’

  The girl’s chin went up. ‘I’ve already told you. I found your name in a newsletter from the Neighbourhood House. It came up on Google when I searched for you. And then I applied for the job here.’

  ‘Yes, but I want to know everything else, Chloe. All you can remember.’ Julia gave her daughter a serious look. ‘And I mean everything.’

  If she was going to lose Rick, she wanted it to be worthwhile. She knew from her work in the law firm that knowledge was power. If she knew more about her daughter, then maybe, maybe, she could work out a way to get closer to her and forge some kind of relationship. She had to cling to that hope, because it was rapidly becoming the only thing left to her.

  The girl thought for a bit.

  Jul
ia waited, staring out at the lake that had brought them all together.

  Finally, Chloe nodded.

  ‘So we have a deal?’ Julia asked.

  ‘Deal,’ said her daughter.

  Julia tried to smile, but her heart was crying, Goodbye, Rick.

  Christmas was looming and Julia decided to head into Narree to buy some decorations. She wanted the cafe to look festive as this was a very busy time for holiday-makers arriving at Lake Grace. The young and fit came for the water-skiing and boating, whilst the older folk wanted good food and coffee. And Lake Hill Cafe was finally firing on all cylinders to provide them. She was determined to enjoy the day in town, and planned to pick up some Christmas presents too, to post to her friends in Melbourne.

  Before she left, she went to find her diamond solitaire pendant. She was wearing a plain red top with a multicoloured fitted skirt and she needed the pendant to finish off the outfit. She usually kept it in its Tiffany box, but remembered dropping it onto her dressing table the last time she wore it, to Lottie’s funeral, before heading over to Rick’s.

  Twenty minutes later and she was still looking. With a muffled swear word she settled for a piece of costume jewellery instead. The day was slipping away and she really needed to get on the road. She’d look harder for the pendant when she got home.

  She drove into Narree, the huge lake to her right, with rowers making short work of its span. To her left was a park with an elaborate playground, where mothers were pushing kids on swings. Julia wondered if she and Chloe would have played together like that. Probably. It made her heart ache to contemplate it.

  She found a park for the Peugeot and strode around the streets, trying to push away all thoughts of her daughter by buying every Christmas decoration on her list. She passed an art gallery doing a roaring trade in screen-printed scarves and bought one for Tess.

  As she walked by a hotel with smart outdoor cafe tables, to her surprise she spotted Ernie. He was sitting alone and reading the paper whilst sipping on a beer. A very large and regal wrought-iron clock on the red brickwork above the bar told her it was lunchtime, so she made her way to Ernie’s table.

  ‘Hi there,’ she said. ‘What a coincidence seeing you here.’