Lake Hill

by Margareta Osborn

  He looked up and smiled. ‘An unexpected appointment.’

  ‘Care for some company?’

  ‘The pleasure would be all mine,’ said Ernie, folding up his paper.

  Julia sat down, relieved to get off her aching feet. ‘This Christmas shopping business will be the death of my legs.’

  ‘Wait until you have gout like me, young lady, then you’ll have something to complain about.’

  Julia laughed. ‘Thirty-seven is hardly a young lady, Ernie.’

  ‘It is when you’re looking at it from the lofty heights of your seventies.’

  ‘Ernie! You don’t look it.’

  ‘Betty used to say that too. It’s my skin. Too many hours spent indoors tending the sick to get that leathery Australian look.’

  ‘That’s not a bad thing,’ said Julia, thinking of Charlie. Now, there was an authentic, leathery Aussie bushman. Charlie’s face was patterned with crevices caused by the harsh sunlight, despite him always wearing his Akubra outside. Picturing Charlie’s hat made her wonder something. ‘Ernie, can I ask you a question?’

  ‘Yes, I think so.’ But his expression was wary.

  ‘What’s with the cap? You wear it all the time.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘Well, it doesn’t …’ She tried to think of a tactful way to say it and failed. ‘It doesn’t really go with your suits and bow ties.’

  Ernie picked up his cap and looked at it like it was the first time he’d seen it. He twirled it gently.

  A waiter came up and they both ordered their meals. Around them, chairs scraped on the wooden floors, cutlery clanged, and the other customers chatted, their voices a background drone. Still Ernie didn’t answer her question. He twisted and wound the cap in his hands, staring into the distance as if he was somewhere else completely.

  Julia was cursing herself for bringing it up. She scrabbled for another topic to fill the uncomfortable silence. She would try asking him about his son again. He hadn’t seemed very keen to talk about him when she’d tried before, but perhaps she’d been imagining that. ‘And so, how’s –’

  ‘He was a trooper in the SAS.’

  Julia sat rigid in her chair.

  ‘We didn’t know what he was doing or where he was, other than he’d been deployed on a covert operation somewhere overseas. Betty worried of course, and I’d try to come up with some reassurances. Tell her he was doing the right thing for Queen and country.’ His face screwed up like he was trying not to cry. ‘All that kind of … fucking bullshit.’

  Julia had never heard Ernie swear. Even when things were going badly in the kitchen, he’d never uttered anything more than a ‘damn’.

  His hands were shaking and his voice quivered as he went on. ‘His mate, Kevin, told us afterwards that they’d be sitting around drinking coffee and sunbaking one minute, then a call would come through and the next minute they’d be in a chopper on their way to whatever skirmish they’d been deployed to.’

  Julia leaned forward, half on and half off her seat. ‘Look, Ernie, I’m sorry I asked. You don’t have to tell me, let’s just leave it.’

  ‘No! I want you to know.’ He snatched up his beer, took a gulp. She could see him trying to pull himself together. Finally he said, ‘Roger, our son, survived the First Gulf War. He came home on leave. Was driving up to see us, but was killed by a drunk driver on the Hume Highway.’

  Julia’s heart jumped. She instinctively stroked his arm, trying to offer some comfort, but he shrugged her off.

  ‘Kevin said Roger wore this cap everywhere when he wasn’t wearing his op’s helmet. It’s a little piece of my son that helps me to remember him every day. He was only twenty-seven, Julia. And I miss him like it was yesterday. There’s this huge hole in my heart …’ He couldn’t go on.

  ‘I know exactly what you mean,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Do you? Do you really?’ He leaned forward, his voice rough and angry. ‘So many people said that to me, to Betty, but they’re such empty words. It wasn’t their child who was killed, was it? Was it?’ Ernie slumped back in his chair. ‘That’s why we left our old town and came to Lake Grace. To get away from the memories, from the people who had witnessed our loss.’

  He stopped and took a breath, obviously wanting to say more, to get it all out.

  ‘Which led us to the next heartbreak, particularly for my wife … People said to us after Roger died that God needed another angel. It’s an easy thing to say when the angel he takes isn’t theirs. And people soon forget. They only really remember you’ve lost someone on the anniversary of their death. They don’t think about the fact that you’re living with the loss and grief every hour of every day. That’s what killed my Betty – living with it. The cancer came on because of the stress of losing our son, I’m sure of that. And perhaps because of what I did, too – the fact I had another child, that I was unfaithful to Betty.’

  He looked at her. ‘I know I’m sounding old and philosophical today, but the trouble is, Julia, we all think we have time to fix whatever’s broken. The sad thing is, we don’t. I should have told that child I’m her father, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.’

  ‘Why couldn’t you tell them?’ Julia asked, her mouth suddenly dry.

  ‘Because it would ruin everything.’

  ‘But surely the child has a right to know?’

  Her words kicked her right in the guts. She leaned over a little and tried to keep her breathing even.

  ‘You haven’t worked it out, have you?’ said Ernie. ‘And why should you? No one else around here has.’

  Julia frantically tried to connect the dots. ‘Ernie, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.’

  He took a deep breath and focused on her face. ‘Do I tell Montana I’m her father or not?’

  Julia sat very still. Did she hear that right?

  ‘Did you just say you’re Montana’s father?’

  ‘I did,’ the doctor said quietly.

  ‘So you and Elsbeth …?’

  Ernie blushed. ‘Yes. I’m not proud of it, but yes.’

  ‘Gosh.’ She couldn’t think of anything else to say. Ernie and Elsbeth? It just didn’t make sense. Ernie was older, and he wasn’t … well, glamorous or famous enough for the actress. And he was too nice!

  He seemed to read her mind. ‘I know. I can scarcely understand it myself. It happened soon after we moved to Lake Grace. Why I cheated on my beautiful Betty even just that once … it kills me to think of it now.’

  Taking in his haunted expression and sorrow-filled eyes, Julia could believe that. She had seen a photo of Betty Pickering once that Ernie kept in his wallet: she was a big, solid woman with a no-nonsense demeanour. Her steel-grey hair looked as though it had been set with concrete, and her squarish face was stern, but her eyes had been kind, soft even.

  ‘So …’ Julia could barely think of the right words to say, ‘Betty knew about Montana?’

  Ernie nodded. A tear snuck its way down his ruddy cheek. ‘That’s the sort of woman she was. She took that little darling under her wing and protected and mothered her as best as she could.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I’m not proud of my actions, Julia. I did a very stupid, wrong thing, and can only claim lack of self-control and being immersed in grief as excuses. How my wife forgave me, I will never know. She was nothing like Elsbeth.’ He shook his head. ‘Nothing like that woman at all. My Betty was such a good person. I didn’t deserve her.’

  Julia could see he truly believed that.

  ‘So, what about Cormac?’ she asked. ‘Oh my God, did he know? He was your friend, wasn’t he?’

  ‘What do you take me for?’ Ernie scoffed. ‘A complete fool?’ He pulled himself up. ‘I’m sorry. You don’t deserve my anger. You’re not even involved and here I am taking it out on you.’

  Julia wanted to say, But I am involved! Your dilemma is exactly like mine and, in a weird way, related too. But she couldn’t.

  ‘So, what are you going to do?’ she asked instead.
/>   Ernie heaved a big sigh. ‘I had an agreement with Elsbeth not to tell anyone. I guess she didn’t want people to know her paramour was the local doctor rather than some dashing famous fellow.’ Julia heard a sliver of antagonism. Regardless of his obvious remorse, Ernie’s ego had clearly been dented. ‘In return, Elsbeth agreed to allow Betty to look after Montana. I suppose you could say I sold my soul to the devil, but it was the least I could do for my wife after my actions. And Betty wanted that little girl in her life more than anything, particularly after losing Roger. She said it was as if God had given us a second chance at parenthood.’

  ‘But, Ernie, why was Betty even working for Elsbeth? I mean, you’re a doctor. Surely Betty wouldn’t have had to make a living too? And it must have been so hard for her, working for the woman who’d slept with her husband.’

  Ernie swallowed and gave Julia a tight smile. ‘Betty loved cleaning. Can you imagine that these days? She took great pride in her own home, it was always ship-shape; and after Roger’s death she needed something to take her mind off her grief for a few hours at a time. She saw working at the Grange a privilege. It’s a beautiful house, and Elsbeth was rarely there. Cormac barely made a dent in the place, but with Rick a teenager, and then Montana a baby, Betty had plenty to do. She looked after those kids and the property like they were her own.’

  When Julia and Ernie had finished their lunch and were out on the street again, walking towards the lake and their cars, Ernie asked, ‘I can trust you not to breathe a word of our conversation?’

  Julia nodded. ‘But, Ernie, Montana’s determined to find her father. You heard her. She thinks he’s Robert Porter.’

  Ernie stopped walking and removed his arm from hers. ‘I promised Betty I would never tell her. She felt young Montana already had enough to deal with.’

  ‘But –’

  ‘I gave my word, Julia, and that vow extends to after my wife’s death. Honouring it means a great deal to me.’

  ‘At least tell me you’ll think about it, Ernie?’

  ‘I can assure you, my dear girl, since that day in your cafe I have thought of little else.’

  As she drove home later that afternoon Julia replayed her conversation with Ernie, over and over in her mind. It had been such a shocking revelation. She couldn’t imagine Ernie and Elsbeth having anything in common, let alone a child. And regardless of his promise to Betty, surely Ernie had to tell Montana the truth. Now Montana knew Cormac wasn’t her father; the girl would never let it rest. Her thoughts turned to Rick. How was he going to react to Ernie being Montana’s father? Instinct told her he would be relieved. She wished she could say the same about what she needed to tell him about her and Chloe. She was sure relief would be the last thing on his mind.

  Chapter 25

  Despite the onset of summer, the first day of Montana’s working dog school dawned windy and cold, the sky dirty with dark, scudding clouds.

  ‘What am I going to do with all these people at chow time if it rains?’ she asked Julia when she arrived with a sizable coffee order for morning tea. ‘The portable marquees nearly ended up in the lake with this wind, and I don’t have a Plan B. I kinda hoped my big bro would offer the Grange so I could’ve used the sheds, but he didn’t.’

  The girl chewed her lip. Her cheeks were flushed red from the blustery south-westerly, and her eyes were full of hope.

  Julia glanced around her perfectly clean, neat, very wide verandah. ‘Okay,’ she said.

  ‘Okay, what?’ Montana asked, trying to sound innocent and failing miserably.

  Julia rolled her eyes. ‘You can bring them up here for tea breaks and lunch.’

  Arms were flung around her neck, a kiss planted on her cheek. ‘Julia, you are a flamin’ legend! But what about your other customers?’

  ‘Hopefully the weather will improve by this afternoon and you won’t need the shelter. And if it doesn’t, we’ll just work it out.’

  They’d have to. Damn Rick – why couldn’t he have had his sister and her school over at the Grange? It wasn’t as if there was anything to get in the way of over there. The place was deserted!

  It was as if Montana had heard her thoughts. ‘I wasn’t going to come right out and ask if we could move the whole show to the Grange when I saw the weather. Didn’t want to give bloody Rick the satisfaction of saying no. Chloe heard him going on about it when she was over there cleaning. He’s really shirty apparently.’

  Julia frowned. ‘But the Grange is half yours, isn’t it? Don’t you have any say?’

  Montana grimaced. ‘It’s tricky. Technically the building itself belongs to Rick. I own the cottage where me and Owen live, plus land, but it’s all tied up in the pastoral company. I don’t really understand the ins and outs. Rick runs it all as one, and it hasn’t mattered in the past.’

  Until now … The words hung in the air.

  The red-haired girl looked so miserable on this special day that Julia gave her a hug. ‘I’m sure you’ll work it out. Rick’s just trying to look after you.’

  ‘Well, he needs to stop because I can look after myself. I’m twenty-three and perfectly capable of making my own decisions and managing my own life, thank you very much.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s what I reckon too,’ said a voice behind them. ‘He’s a total knob-jockey.’

  Chloe. Sneaking up again. Putting in her two cents’ worth.

  ‘He’s a what?’ said Montana, swinging around with a laugh. ‘I’ve never heard that one before.’

  ‘A moron, a dickhead,’ said the younger girl. ‘Whatever. He just wants all the attention for himself. You two mightn’t be able to see it because,’ she pointed to Montana, ‘you’re related,’ and then to Julia, ‘and you’re rooting him, but I can see right through him!’

  Julia’s gasp was audible. The girl was talking about her father.

  ‘Chloe –’

  But she was cut off by the crashing of what sounded like ball-bearings onto the corrugated-iron roof. The three women ran to the edge of the verandah and looked up. A huge black cloud hung in the sky, raining down big icy balls of hail.

  Julia snapped her gaze towards the portable yards set out across the hill. People and dogs were flying in all directions. She heard doors slamming, and then vehicles began moving rapidly towards the cafe.

  ‘Lucky you offered the joint because they’re coming anyway,’ said Montana drily.

  Julia walked back inside to crank up her coffee machine. It was going to be a long day.

  After lunch had been served to the dog school attendees, who turned out to be a bunch of lovely salt-of-the-earth country people ranging in ages from sixteen to seventy, Julia left the cafe in the capable hands of Ernie, and the more dubious clutches of Chloe, and she walked out along her track towards the makeshift yards on the hill. Walking for Julia was therapy and it was just what she needed after such a hectic morning.

  The fleeting storm had disappeared in typical mountain-country-weather style, and now the sun was peeking through fluffy white clouds. Julia felt its warmth on her head and neck as she strode along the gravel track. She breathed in deeply, loving the scents of spring and summer.

  Gazing out across her paddocks at the grass heads waving languidly in the stiff, still-cool breeze, she couldn’t believe where life had brought her. From the ocean shores of Lakes Entrance, to the wide open plains of Horsham, to suburban Melbourne, and now the mountains of Lake Hill. She’d pretty much covered it all and she was only thirty-seven.

  As she came in hailing distance of the working dog school, she saw for herself that there were dogs everywhere! There must have been four dogs to every person in the vicinity – tied to fences and rails, in cages on backs of utes, many of them wriggling and barking hellos at her. They were mostly kelpies – black, brown, red, even a pale yellow – with the odd Border collie thrown in. God, it was incredible. She hadn’t seen anything like it before.

  ‘Hey, Julia!’ called a man’s voice. It was Charlie, holding two kelpies on leads
. He hadn’t been at the cafe for morning tea or lunch so he must have just arrived.

  ‘Are you doing the school too?’ She was surprised. She’d thought Charlie, like Rick, was against the use of dogs on the stock.

  ‘Nah, mate. Just holdin’ these buggers for Montana. She’s in there.’

  He pointed towards the yards, where a bevy of hatted and oilskin-clad people were avidly watching and listening to what was going on.

  ‘Gosh, it’s intense, isn’t it?’ she commented when she saw how focused they all were on the instructor.

  He was telling Montana what to do, and Julia was fascinated to see her walking ahead of a small mob of sheep, with her back to them, moving a rake from left to right in front of her. Her dog was moving from side to side behind the sheep, and they appeared to be making their way around a bunch of orange safety cones.

  ‘What on earth are they doing?’ Julia asked.

  ‘She’s using the blocking action of the rake and her body to train the dog to shepherd the sheep towards her to balance the mob. See how she’s drawing out the lead sheep to follow her?’

  Julia could, sort of.

  ‘Well, the dog’s the hunter and puts the pressure on the stock. Montana’s the relief. They’re gunna follow her because the lead sheep recognises she represents safety for the mob.’

  Julia was intrigued. There was a lot to this, much more than she’d thought.

  The instructor addressed the watchers in a big booming voice. ‘With dogs, trust is the balance of dominance and friendship.’

  Julia moved towards the edge of the crowd and put a foot up on a yard rail to steady herself.

  ‘Ya just need a hat and an oilskin and you’ll fit right in,’ said Charlie, coming up beside her. He tied the two dogs to a bottom rail, and pulled out a packet of chewing-gum. ‘Want one? I’m tryin’ to stay off the rollies. This helps.’

  Julia smiled and popped a piece in her mouth. Charlie did the same, and they stood in companionable silence watching Montana finish her run.

  ‘Pressure and release, Montana,’ called the instructor. ‘Pressure and release.’