Always For You (Always Love Book 1)

by Tawdra Kandle

  A crunch of footsteps sounded around the corner, and I started up in panic. But it was only Meghan, her face creased with worry.

  “Is everything okay? Maureen, are you feeling sick?”

  I dropped to my haunches. “No, I’m okay. I just needed a minute.” I flickered my eyes to Ali. “I feel like I’m back in high school. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson a long time ago, with Ranse.”

  Ali groaned. “Tell me you’re not still sulking over old rancid Ranse MacDonald.” She sighed and looked at Meghan. “Ranse was this skinny farmer kid in Reenie’s class in high school. She had a serious yen for him, and when she got up the nerve to ask him to a dance—which, I might add, required her to drink her very first beer—he was not very nice about it.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, not very nice. We were down at the lake, a whole bunch of us, and when I asked him, he made a big deal about it. Laughed and called all his friends over. Told me I wasn’t the kind of girl guys like him dated.” His rejection didn’t hurt anymore—Ali was right, he was a skinny jerk—but the humiliation stung, even all these years later. “Whenever I thought about getting brave and telling Smith the truth, all I could hear was Ranse’s voice saying he’d never see me as anything more than one of the guys.”

  Meghan’s face was suffused with sympathy. “I’m so sorry, Reen. He was a stupid boy, and I hope he’s alone and miserable now. And regretting being such a dickhead.” She leaned on the side of the house, arms folded on her chest, looking at both of us. “Maureen, don’t let this get to you. I don’t think Smith meant—well, he was just trying to keep Flynn from going all over-protective brother on him. And what’s more, most of the time, men don’t know their own hearts until someone explains it to them.” She glanced at Ali. “Didn’t you have to talk Sam into realizing he loved me? I’d like to think that eventually, he’d have made his way down to Florida to tell me anyway, but God only knows how long it might have taken him if you hadn’t pushed a little.”

  Ali smiled a little as her eyes met mine. “It wasn’t entirely selfless. He was a bear to live with after Meghan left to go home. I’m afraid I finally laid it down on him out of a strong sense of self-preservation.”

  Meghan sighed. “My point is that Sam had spent the summer convincing himself that he wasn’t in love with me. That he couldn’t be. He had every excuse in the book—I was too young. He was too old. I wouldn’t be happy on the farm. He didn’t have the time or energy for a relationship when he was trying to keep the farm afloat. Men have an uncanny knack for believing what they think’s best for everyone around them.”

  “But Sam had shown you how he felt in other ways. I remember that day he came into the classroom, Meghan. When he brought you the sandwich? I could feel the heat between you two. It was insane.” I turned to point at Ali. “Same with you and Flynn. I remember when you were just starting to date, and you’d be sitting in the living room. A bomb could’ve exploded in the next room, and neither of you would’ve known it.” I rubbed my forehead, where a wicked headache was brewing. “I don’t have that. All I have is time after time of Smith showing me in every conceivable way that he only wants to be my friend.”

  Neither Ali nor Meghan responded for a minute. I pushed up off the side of the house and stood. “We better get back inside before they send out a search party. I’m sorry for acting like this. You’d think I’d know better after all this time.”

  “Maureen—” Ali began, but I cut her off.

  “No. No more teasing, no more suggestive comments, Ali. I can’t take it. Just leave it alone. Smith and I are friends, and we’re partners. That’s all we’re going to be. I need you to let me accept that, so I don’t end up hurt any worse than I already am. Got it?”

  Ali didn’t answer, but she nodded.

  “Good. Let’s go back inside and make the best of tonight.” I began to move slowly back around the corner of the house, but Meghan stopped me. She wore an odd expression.

  “Reenie, I understand what you’re saying, and I’ll respect it. But don’t be too quick to stop hoping. Sometimes there’s more to a person and how he feels than what you might think. Just promise me . . . you don’t have to do anything but keep an open mind. Okay?”

  I didn’t want to agree. I wanted to stay as far away as possible from Smith Harrington with his warm gray eyes, inviting smile and strong, sexy body. But Meghan wasn’t Ali. She didn’t tease, and she didn’t push me. In her eyes, I saw compassion and understanding.

  “All right. Whatever you say. It’s not going to matter or make any difference, but I promise, I’ll try to stay open-minded.”

  “That’s all I can ask. Now come on. Sam should be done frying the chicken by now, and he gets real cranky when we don’t eat it right away.”

  I STOOD IN THE DIMMING light and cooling air of the early evening just outside the farmhouse kitchen door, listening to the female voices around the corner. I’d only come outside because I was worried about Maureen. She’d been paler than normal and a little stiff as she’d gone outside. Flynn had shaken his head when I went to follow Meghan outside.

  “Don’t sweat it, man. Women . . . I love them to bits, but they’re crazy sometimes. Believe me, I know what I’m talking about. I grew up with two sisters.” Apparently, he’d bought my assurances about my intentions toward his sister, since he was treating me like an old friend.

  Across the room, Sam had grunted. He was using long silver tongs to remove the fried chicken from the pan. “Preaching to the choir, dude.” He grinned at us. “But it’s the kind of crazy I can’t live without.”

  “Hey, hey.” Rilla held up her hand. “I know I can’t move fast enough to get away from this conversation, but I’m still here. Woman, remember?”

  “Honey, don’t you worry.” Sam carried her a plate that held a piece of chicken, a biscuit and a pile of something green. “Women may be crazy, but you’re all much smarter than us guys.” He patted her arm. “Prettier, too. Plus you can do cool tricks, like grow humans.”

  Rilla chuckled, shaking her head. “You’re just lucky I like you so much, Sam Reynolds.” She lifted the chicken leg, bit into it and closed her eyes in pleasure. “Plus you made me food, which makes you pretty much my favorite person ever these days.”

  While the focus in the room shifted to Rilla, I slipped out the back door. When I heard Maureen speak, her words anguished and tired, I came to a screeching halt. Meghan stood at the corner of the house, so I could see her, but Reenie and Ali were only voices floating to me on the evening breeze.

  “. . . time after time of Smith showing me in every conceivable way that he only wants to be my friend.”

  My chest constricted as her words filtered through my brain. When the hell had I made Maureen think I only wanted to be her friend? Yeah, what I’d said to Flynn right before Reen came out here may have leaned in that direction, but that was because he was her brother. I wanted to let him know I wasn’t going to take advantage of her. I didn’t figure she’d want me to tell him what I really hoped would happen between us. Plus, I’d just met the guy. I didn’t know if he was the type to throw down on short acquaintance.

  Everything was quiet for a minute, and then I heard both Ali and Maureen say something I couldn’t discern. Maureen’s voice was low and intense, and only at the end, when it rose a little, could I make out the words.

  “I need you to let me accept that, so I don’t end up hurt any worse than I already am. Got it?”

  My heart ached for her. She was hurt? And I hadn’t even realized it? All this time when I’d been sure Maureen had been fencing me into the friend zone, had she actually been convinced I was doing the same to her?

  My feet began to move before I knew what I was going to do or say. I didn’t get more than two steps before Meghan caught my eye, giving her head the slightest shake no. I froze where I stood.

  On the other side of the house, Maureen said something else, and I heard the sound of movement. I took two steps back toward the door as M
eghan spoke.

  “Reenie, I understand what you’re saying, and I’ll respect it. But don’t be too quick to stop hoping. Sometimes there’s more to a person and how he feels than what you might think. Just promise me . . . you don’t have to do anything but keep an open mind. Okay?”

  I knew that was my cue to get the hell back inside before Maureen rounded the corner and figured out I’d been eavesdropping. I took the two steps in one leap and opened the door. Luckily, the kitchen was empty now; apparently Flynn, Rilla and Sam had moved into the other room. I followed the sound of their voices and sat down at the set table.

  “Hey, where’d you go?” Flynn glanced at me curiously.

  “Uh, I went to see where Maureen was, but you were right. The girls were off talking somewhere, so I just came back in.”

  “See? I told you. Better not to get involved in their stuff. Here they come now. ‘Bout time! Food’s getting cold. You know how Sam gets.”

  “Yup. Ali, Reenie, help me bring everything out, please? You men, don’t bother getting up. Just sit there and look pretty while we serve you hand and foot.” Meghan paused behind her husband’s chair and kissed his cheek. “Except you, honey. You cooked, so you’re off the hook for the rest of the night. The snarky comments don’t apply to you.”

  For the next hour, I ate chicken, biscuits and something I found out was called collards. Although I had my doubts, they were actually delicious. Talk flew fast and furious around the table, as it usually did with a group of people who knew each other well and liked each other anyway. Maureen did a good job of pretending nothing was wrong, as if she hadn’t fled the kitchen half an hour before. She and Flynn shared stories about growing up together, as did Ali and Sam.

  Rilla caught my eye and winked. “We’re the outsiders, you and me and Meghan, since we don’t have a sibling present. I don’t have any siblings at all, actually.” She paused, tilting her head. “At least I don’t think I do.” She smiled a little at me. “I don’t know where my mother is. She left town when I was just a baby, so it’s entirely possible I might have brothers or sisters somewhere out there.”

  “How about you, Smith? You come from a big family?” Sam leaned his folded arms on the table.

  “Just my parents and my brother Fox and me. But now Fox is married, and he and Ana have two kids. Mila and Jason are three and five.”

  “Fox and Smith? Those are unusual names.” Flynn took a long drink of his sweet tea.

  I sighed. “Yeah, my parents were big into family names. Could’ve been worse. I have a cousin named Jennings, after his mother’s maiden name. When we were little, we used to call him Jenny.” I smirked, remembering.

  “Well, I’m going to clear the table and make some coffee.” Meghan rose and picked up her plate along with her husband’s. “Y’all sit tight.”

  “Here, let me help.” I stood up, too, and grabbed my plate and Maureen’s. “I’m a master plate scraper.”

  “Well, then, you’re hired.” Meghan smiled as I followed her back to the kitchen.

  Once at the sink, I turned on the water and touched Meghan’s arm. “Why did you stop me? I was going to tell her—tell Maureen how I feel. She’s got me all wrong.”

  Meghan nodded, her lips pressed into a seam. “I figured that.” She spoke quietly, too. “But Smith, if you told her that right then, when you’d just overheard what she’d said, Maureen would never believe you. She’d think you were only saying it to make her feel better. Trust me. I know what I’m talking about.”

  I scrunched up my face. “She’d think I was declaring my undying love to her out of a desire to keep her from being hurt? So she could save face? That’s messed up. I think I’m a pretty nice guy, but I wouldn’t pretend to be into a girl just so she didn’t get embarrassed. Or because I felt sorry for her.”

  “Your undying love?” Meghan turned toward me, her hands clasped together and her eyes shining, dishes forgotten under the running water. “I knew it! Or, no, I didn’t know it, but I hoped it. I mean, I know I just met you, and I haven’t seen with you Reenie except for the last hour or so, but the way she talked about you, and what Ali said about the way she used to talk about you—I just couldn’t believe you only wanted to be friends with her. Maureen is so great. I’ve wanted her to find a terrific guy as long as I’ve known her.”

  I resumed rinsing plates and silverware. “Does she date a lot?”

  Meghan shook her head. “Not at all in the time I’ve known her. Ali says she never remembers Reenie having a boyfriend, ever. There’s never even been talk about her hooking up casually with anyone around here. So if she’s doing it, she’s damned discreet.”

  A kind of undeserved happiness swelled in my chest. I wanted to pump my fist and yell yes! But since I wasn’t a fourteen-year old boy, I settled for a nod. “She hasn’t said anything to me, so I hoped I wasn’t going up against another guy.” I slid a plate into the dishwasher. “Did you say something about the way Maureen used to talk about me? Do you mean like back in college?”

  Meghan looked a little guilty. “I really shouldn’t have said anything about that. I don’t want to betray a confidence.”

  I straightened up and faced her full-on. “Meghan, I’ve been in love with this girl since she almost knocked me down the steps the first day of college. I didn’t know it at the time, but it’s true. I’m tired of biding my time and being patient.”

  I expected Meghan to melt a little more. Maybe even a quiet little squee. But instead, she balled up her first and socked me in the arm. “Why didn’t you tell her, you idiot? Why didn’t you ask her out? Date her? What in the hell stopped you?”

  I grimaced. “I wanted to. But you’re right, I was an idiot. Every time I would make up my mind to finally ask her out, something would happen to make me think she didn’t want that. Someone would tease us about always hanging out together, and she’s swear up and down that we were only friends. After you hear that a few dozen times, you start to believe the other person’s trying to give you a message.”

  “And she thought the same thing about you. Geez.” Meghan dried her hands. “I need to put on the coffee. Would you finish clearing the table, please?”

  “Sure.” I went back to the dining room, rounding the corner in time to hear Ali talking.

  “. . . plenty of men around here. I swear, Reenie, you just need to get out there. You’re beautiful, you’re funny, you’re smart—you’re a catch.” She poked Flynn in the ribs. “Right?”

  “Oomph. Uh, well, yeah, of course, but I think she needs to be careful. There’re a lot of crazies out there.”

  Maureen rolled her eyes. “I’m not exactly a kid, Flynn. I think I can take care of myself.”

  “Hmm.” Her brother didn’t look convinced.

  Ali raised her voice to call into the kitchen. “Meghan, isn’t there a new teacher at the school?” She turned back to Reenie. “He’s Mrs. Clark’s grandson. He used to spend summers here, Maureen. Do you remember him? What’s his name—Tom?”

  “Tim.” Meghan came into the room, carrying a handful of spoons. “He’s actually the speech teacher. A speech pathologist.” She glanced around the table. “Why do you ask?”

  “He’s single, right? Cute? He’d be about Maureen’s age?”

  Meghan, alarmed, began to backpedal. “Oh, I don’t know that he’d be a good match for Maureen. I mean, he’s a nice guy and all, but he’s kind of . . . quiet.”

  Maureen lifted one eyebrow. “And I’m what? Loud? Overbearing?”

  “No, of course not. I just—I didn’t realize you wanted to be set up. Didn’t you yell at me last week about trying to get you to go out?”

  “Maybe I’ve changed my mind.” Her eyes flickered to me. “Maybe it’s a good time to try something new. I own the practice now—well, co-own it. And I’m finally living on my own. Why not take the next step?” She tore a little corner off her paper napkin. “Could you introduce us, Meghan?”

  For a minute, Meghan stood silent, indecision
written all over her face. My stomach was churning; the last thing I wanted was for Maureen to start dating other guys. I knew I should’ve come clean earlier. I opened my mouth to say something—I wasn’t sure what—but before I could, Meghan grabbed my arm.

  “Can you take those dishes to the sink, please? I’ll bring the last few.”

  I pivoted back toward the kitchen, irked at the direction the night was taking. I’d hoped meeting Maureen’s family and friends would move us closer together, not convince her to start running wild with other guys.

  “I’m sorry about that.” Meghan came up next to me and slid two more plates into the sink. “But trust me. If you come at Reenie now with a big declaration of how you feel, she’ll never believe it. You’re going to have to show her how you feel.”

  “Uh-huh, and you want to tell me how to do that? We’ve known each other for almost ten years, and all that time I’ve been trying to show her. It hasn’t worked. I’m thinking the time has come to be brutally honest.”

  “Sure, that’s one way to go.” She dumped forks into the silverware tray of the dishwasher. “If you want her to doubt everything you say and think you’re only asking her out because she’s about to start seeing other guys. Yup, that’s great. Try that.”

  “Then what do I do?” I dropped the last plate into the dishwasher and shook my wet hands over the sink. “You tell me. How do I make her believe me?”

  “Start small. Touch her, just a little. You know . . . brush back her hair. Put your arm around her. Hug her a little longer.” Meghan shut the door to the dishwasher and turned it on. “And for the love of all holiness, stop talking about what great friends you are. Banish the word ‘friend’ from your vocabulary, when it comes to Maureen.” She leaned against the counter and crossed her arms over her chest. “And then, when you’ve opened her mind to the possibility that you’ve wanted more from her all along, then and only then can you tell her how you feel. Got it?”