by B. A. Wolfe
What if she runs away when she finds out?
I scrubbed a hand down my face and told my thoughts to go away, remembering what Cassie had told me about assuming—don’t do it.
So, tonight I’d grab dinner from the diner and apologize for being a jackass. It wasn’t the right time for, “Hey, sweetheart, I’m sorry and oh by the way, I have kidney failure.” I’d make proper plans for that later. Every resolution had to start somewhere, and this was mine. We would eat dinner in the grass and I’d tell her that I was sorry. It was the plan, and it was going to work.
Right?
I sent a quick text to Moose.
Me: Not going to grandma’s tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
Moose: Everything okay?
Me: It will be.
Moose: You finally got rid of your tampon I see. Good boy.
Me: One day you’ll fall in love and then I’ll be here to remind you to pull out your tampon.
Moose: Doubt it. But I’ll hold you to it. Which brings me to my question yesterday, does she have a sister?
I laughed and thought about Cassie’s friend, Mel. She was snarky, sassy, and would tear him up. But maybe that’d be good for him.
Me: You can go back to taking your time again. ;)
Moose: What do you want me to break this time? lol
Me: Maybe just hide the car. haha
Moose: You’ve got it bad.
He didn’t have to tell me.
When five o’clock rolled around, I jumped from the chair and locked the store behind me. After grabbing my to-go order at the diner, I headed down the street like a little kid full of excitement, my boots couldn’t take me fast enough.
As I crossed the street, the world seemed to freeze in place and my grip around the plastic bag tightened. She was so beautiful lying in the grass, a gentle breeze blowing her blonde hair askew. And as I strolled closer, my heart thundered out of control and I knew, with every fiber of my being, that what I had thought yesterday and today was all void. I refused to let her go without a fight.
The only thing looming over me was my secret. The one that would probably ruin us. But I’d tell her. If it was the last thing I got to do in this life, I would tell her.
I padded through the grass and hovered over her, loving the sight of her peaceful body. God she was breathtaking. So relaxed out here, in my favorite spot. Perhaps now I could call it our favorite spot.
A grin split my lips. “Hey, pretty girl.” I gave it a few beats but she didn’t respond. Ouch. “Is this spot taken?”
“No,” she whispered, her tone cold. She was angry.
I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart.
Lowering onto the grass, I stretched out my legs and set the bag of food beside me. “You’ve been out here a long time.”
“How do you know that?” Her tone was laced with suspicion.
“The shop is just down the street. I saw you.” More like watched you the whole day, because I couldn’t stop wondering what you were thinking.
“Well, it’s a nice spot to think.” She sounded less upset, but had yet to open her eyes. It was killing me.
“It’s my favorite spot to think,” I whispered, turning and leaning on my elbow so I could see her, except I couldn’t. “Will you look at me?” She slowly opened her lids and I smiled. “Hey, there.” I kept my voice quiet and brushed the loose hair from her face. Really, I just wanted a reason to touch her. How I ever thought I could let this girl walk out of my life was beyond me.
“Hey.” Her voice was stale. She still wasn’t having this.
“I brought dinner.” Grabbing the bag next to me, I lifted it up.
No reaction. This was getting harder.
“Thanks, but I thought you had dinner at your grandma’s tonight?”
And not be here with you? Crazy, girl. I shrugged. “We can miss one night.”
She was pleasantly surprised with the chopped salads I brought, but the dark sky and gusts of wind were coming in fast as we ate. A storm was about to rock the town.
And I was right. Except, I wasn’t even prepared for its intensity. Not even close.
Droplets of rain peppered our skin as we finished our salads. Well, me anyway. Cassie continued to pick at the lettuce as if her mind was brewing its own storm. Just like the one building over our heads. Black clouds hovered, ready to release the floodgates.
But I couldn’t move.
There wasn’t an ounce of me ready to leave our spot. And something told me she wasn’t either. That was until the sprinkles rained down harder, turning into fat drops, and the last thing I wanted was for us to get caught in a bad storm. Enough was enough.
“You ready to get out of here, sweetheart?” I asked, wiping the water from my face.
Cassie didn’t say a word, only stood, and put her container in the bag. So I did the same and headed to the truck. A crash of thunder shook the city and I glanced over my shoulder, but she wasn’t behind me. Her body stood statuesque in the downpour, her hair drenched and sticking to her face, her clothes soaked, like mine. This was crazy.
“What are you doing? Let’s go!”
The rain came down in sheets, beating like pellets on our flesh. God, we probably only had seconds before the storm reared its ugly head. But there we were, staring at each other, my heart pounding like a bass with each second that passed.
Her face contorted with pain, her lips quivering as she parted them. And I knew I’d been right, a storm was about to release but it wasn’t the one above us . . . it was the one between us.
“Tell me you feel it, Jase. You feel your heart on fire every time we get close. That you try not to even think because all you want to think about is what it would feel like to have our lips touch again, knowing that it will be just as earth-shattering as the first time. That everything inside tells you it’s too fast to fall this hard for someone you just met. That it can’t be real even though your heart screams to you that it is. Damn it, Jase!” she yelled, water falling into her mouth. My feet rooted to the grass and my heart pounded like crazy with every word that flew from her lips and into my soul. “Tell me you feel it too.”
Every second, of every hour, of every day that turned into a week, I fell harder in love, my heart on fire, my body more alive. “I do. I feel all of it, every Goddamn bit of it, Cassie. From day one, you had me, you owned me, my thoughts, my everything. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I didn’t want to.”
I freaking green light you, sweetheart.
Her brows furrowed as fat rain drops covered her frowning face. Part of me wondered if it was tears and not rain. “So what happened yesterday and this morning, Jason? What the hell was that about?”
I wished, so badly, that I had a better answer for her than the one I was about to give. “I was scared. I was afraid of what would happen the moment you left. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to handle it. So I thought by giving us some distance, it would be easier for the both of us, but it’s not. I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong. If you’re in this, then so am I, but you’re stuck with me forever because my heart won’t be able to handle losing you now, sweetheart.” Life would never be the same without her, and that was a life I didn’t want.
The cool rain continued to pour, soaking every inch of me, my clothes, my hair, even my boots stood in their own mini puddle. But none of it mattered. Lightning could strike a centimeter away and I wouldn’t leave this spot until she told me she was in. I couldn’t leave without her.
I was hers but I had to know she was mine.
Cassie’s wet lips parted and my lungs stilled. “I’m in, Jase. I was already in.”
My grin spread wide as I took three large steps to get to her. The second I did, there was no holding back. I cupped her soaked cheeks and pressed my greedy lips to hers, kissing her so deeply I was sure it was all just a dream. But it wasn’t. She was still here, her face in my hands, her drenched body shivering in front of me, our mouths still linked. I was a Goddamn fool for what I pu
t her through. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I murmured through our kisses, the same ones our lips were starved for.
“Don’t be sorry, just don’t do it again, please.” Her pleading tone broke me.
“Never again, I promise.” And with that vow, I deepened our kiss. I’d plan a night that wasn’t like this. I’d take her out to dinner, then out to the farm, where we could stretch out on a blanket in the bed of my truck, under the stars, and I’d tell her everything. And she’d tell me it didn’t matter, she was in this. My hold tightened on her cheeks as I felt the pull of my thoughts. Everything in me had to bank on it going down that way. Because I wasn’t lying when I said that I wouldn’t be able to handle losing her. It would be more painful than dying.
A heavy crash of thunder and blinding flash of lightning tore apart our affection. Cassie screamed and I had to force myself not to jump. I wasn’t one for rainstorms either. Grabbing our trash and Cassie’s hand, I led us to the only shelter near by.
Knowing the door to the abandoned library behind us would be unlocked, I ushered Cassie in first and followed her in.
“We are soaked.” She stopped a few feet inside and frowned, water dripping from her head all the way down to her toes.
“Just a little.” She was beautiful all of the time, but the way the rain glistened on her cheeks and the bare skin of her arms had me holding back from finishing what we started out front. Needing a minute, I said, “Let’s wait out the storm in here. Wait there a sec.”
Leaving her with a puddle at her feet, I took off and went for the supply closet I’d hid in a time or two playing hide and seek with Dan. There had to be some sort of light in there. If we were going to wait this storm out, it was only going to get darker in an already almost-black building. Rummaging through dusty shelves was harder than I thought. My blind search panned out when I felt a candlestick under my palm and a matchbook next to it. Luck like this just didn’t exist, but who was I to question it? Lighting the sucker up, I left the closet with a smirk.
Knight in shining armor strikes again.
The candle flickered in the small room and illuminated Cassie’s still body. My lungs suddenly begged for air. Realizing I hadn’t been breathing, I inhaled every ounce of oxygen I could.
What this girl did to me was unexplainable. It was something I honestly didn’t want to question, because maybe the answer wasn’t what I wanted. But the reality standing right in front of me was everything I could have ever dreamed of.
A crease settled between her brows as she glanced around. “Where are we?”
I used to come in here with Dan to checkout books for school. We’d also play for hours in the grass out front. This place meant everything to me, and something told me it was about to mean so much more.
I lowered the candlestick onto the table and inched closer to her. “It’s the old library. They moved it to a new location. No one’s bought this place yet though, so for the time being, I’ve used it as my thinking spot. When the weather gets bad, I come inside. Though, I love the spot outside.” My heart raced as I thought how much she did too.
“That makes much more sense now, but why is there still furniture left in here?” Curiosity now danced across her face.
“Well . . .” My lips split into a grin as I sauntered even closer to her. “The person who moved it bought all new stuff, so they just left everything else behind.”
A huge smile stretched her cheeks. “Are there any books left?”
I thought she’d never ask. “Let’s go look.”
Her smile hadn’t left as I coiled our hands together and snatched the candle from the table. As I led us from the small room and down a dark hallway, I couldn’t stop thinking about earlier. About the words we spoke moments ago that might as well have been tattooed on my skin, because they’d be with me forever. And then knowing she was mine, in this building where we were all alone had my veins flooding with an excitement I didn’t even know existed. It was like the perfect storm had just unleashed for us. And I wasn’t about to waste a single second.
Ten
ROWS WORTH OF SHELVING gawked back at me. I had so many memories in this place, but walking around holding a candlestick with a pretty girl was definitely a first for me. Stopping, I glanced over my shoulder and cocked a brow, curious if her heart was pounding like mine with each step we took.
She tilted her head, a small smile curving her lips. “What?”
That little puppy dog stare was about to kill me. Snap out of it, man. “Are you doing okay?”
“Yeah, this is actually really fun.” The bow of her lips deepened, and the way the candlelight shined on them I could make out a little leftover rain. I wanted to kiss it off of her.
My chest thundered. “I think so, too.” Not wasting any time, I pulled her hand and took her down the row of empty shelves. Not a damn book in sight. I had to find one. It was my new mission. Leaving her and the candlestick behind, I made my way down to the end.
“Anything?”
Not a damn thing. I felt like a fox hunting its prey. “No, grab the candle; let’s go look on the other side.”
With Cassie behind me, we wrapped around the corner and scoured the shelves with even more intensity. Nothing but dust. Continuing on, I went down the next aisle, hungry for a book that I was sure didn’t exist. My knees cracked as I crouched and searched the very bottom.
“Jase.”
My name was a faint whisper but I paid no attention as I blew a layer of dust from my finger and stood. Well, there went that grand plan.
“Come on, Jase. This isn’t funny.” Cassie’s voice sounded panicked and I grinned.
“I’m over here.” I walked back toward the end where she was waiting for me.
“What are you doing?”
Gazing into her blinking hazel pools, I whispered, “I was looking for a book for you.”
“You left. It scared me.” I could’ve sworn her cheeks flushed, as if she was a little embarrassed for her confession.
“I’m right here.”
She reached for my fingers at the same time a loud rumble of thunder rippled through the building. Cassie dropped my hand and jumped into my arms, tucking herself into me like I was home. A place she knew would protect her. And I would. Sick or not, I’d never let anything hurt her as long as she was mine. Even if I wasn’t with her, I’d still find a Goddamn way to keep her safe.
I wrapped my hands around her body, loving how the world seemed so right with her in my arms. “You’re okay. I’ve got you,” I whispered into her ear. She clung on tighter and the roar outside was no match for the deafening thunder inside my chest. For a man that was so weak, she gave me my strength back, breathed life into my broken down parts. My fingers slid down her back, finding the curve of her waist. A soft sigh slipped from her lips and my pulse raced.
The candle flickered in the next aisle over, doing little to break the darkness surrounding us. I inhaled in a sharp breath as her gentle hands worked their way up my chest and snaked around my neck. With our gazes locked, I closed the gap between us, pushing her backward until her spine was pressed against the bookshelf. She was making it so damn hard for me to try not to think about her in ways a gentleman shouldn’t, like wanting to take her in this very aisle. But it was something she had to give me, I could never take it from her.
Using every ounce of willpower in me, I released her waist and curled my fingers around the edges of the shelf behind her, where they’d be safe. Touching her was doing things to me, making me want things I couldn’t have. Peering down, I noticed her chest was heaving in the same erratic pattern as mine.
You can’t take this further.
But it was too late, a storm was already brewing between us. And I wasn’t sure if there was any stopping it.
Her tongue slipped from her parted mouth to lick her lips, and I gripped the shelf so tightly I was sure I would bust the brittle thing in half. You can’t do that, sweetheart. I only had so much self control and she had been
testing it all night.
Angry thunder rolled through the aisles once more. Cassie bowed her back, pushing her chest into me, holding me tighter. Her teeth captured that sexy little bottom lip of hers and I was done. A fierce growl ripped through my throat, my mouth gravitating toward hers as if it belonged there.
As my mouth claimed hers, an intense spark of lightning illuminated the building for a fraction of a second, but I didn’t need to see around us. I could feel everything, all of it. All of her pushing into me, her nails digging into the nape of my neck. There was nothing that needed to be seen, this was one of those moments that could only be felt.
Deepening the kiss, her warm fingers abandoned my neck and grazed along my arms, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Continuing her ascent, she reached my hands where she placed hers snug inside mine. I held onto them as if they were something fragile and broke our kiss, needing to taste her in other ways.
I trailed my lips down her neck into the curve of her shoulder. Cassie released a soft moan and I groaned, bringing my mouth back to hers. A stinging bite onto my lower lip sent an electric charge through my veins, causing another growl to rip from my throat. This had gone too far. It’d gone too far the minute my fingers wrapped around her waist and I backed her up into this damn shelf.
My thoughts vaporized as her sweet mouth brushed against the scruff of my jaw and kept going, to the soft spot on my neck and then further and . . . and . . . I couldn’t do this. I stepped back, continuing to hold her hands hostage.
She tried to wiggle from my hold. “This isn’t funny.” Her husky voice had my jaw clenching to the point of cracking teeth.
I leaned in closer, my pounding chest almost touching hers. “Cassandra, I don’t know if I’ll have the ability to stop, so I have to keep your hands locked in mine where they’re safe.”
She shook her head in protest. “I don’t want to beg for this. I have never wanted anything more in my life. I’m giving this to you, and I want you to take it and never give it back. I want you, Jason.”
She was giving this to me?
I closed my eyes and sighed, my heart making the choice my brain begged me not to, as I released her hands. I couldn’t deny that every stabbing beat in my chest wanted this, wanted her, wanted everything she was willing to give, but hell if all of this seemed to be moving too fast. Or maybe it wasn’t. Life wasn’t a waiting game. Life didn’t linger. Because if it did, all of these moments would pass us by and we’d be left with nothing but regrets.
