Dazzled

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  “Never mind,” said Polly, standing and stretching tiredly. “From what I hear, it was nothing to be ashamed of. Keep up the good, um, work, Miles.”

  “Why are we friends again?” he said to me once she’d gone.

  “Aw, you love me really,” I said, wrapping my arms around his waist, and planting a squeaky kiss on his cheek.

  “Nah,” he said. “You’re more like a bad habit.”

  He was joking. I knew he was joking. But I wanted to cry.

  Clueless

  Miles

  Clare’s time in California was running out. In a couple of weeks, she’d be going home.

  It had been a shitty few days, so having her around had been pretty much the only thing that kept me sane.

  We’d been sitting in my trailer during a break in filming, and suddenly Rhonda turned up.

  She charged in, eyes flashing. She reminded me of Taz, the cartoon Tasmanian Devil – in other words damn scary. I was waiting for smoke to come out of her nose or something.

  “Miles!” she snapped, brandishing a newspaper in my face. “Something you forgot to tell me? I have gone over and over the importance of image with you. And then I get blindsided by this shit! What gives?”

  Clare grabbed the newspaper from her and paled slightly as her eyes scanned down the sheet.

  “Miles, it’s… about your dad.”

  What the fuck did that bastard have to do with anything?

  She passed me the paper in silence, and I could feel Rhonda’s eyes burning into me as I read.

  When I’d finished, I pushed the newspaper away from me and looked up.

  “Yeah, so?”

  Rhonda looked like she was going to explode.

  “So?! So?! Miles – this is serious! I’ve got the studio crawling up my ass and I really don’t appreciate the view. Talk to me!”

  The gist of it was that my bastard of a father had contacted some tabloid newspaper back home, giving them all this crap about how I was living it up in Hollywood, while he was half starving and trying to survive off state handouts, and I wouldn’t give him the time of day, and he was in debt and going to get thrown out of his apartment. Blah blah blah.

  Like I could give a shit. Bastard hadn’t done an honest day’s work in his life, and had never once paid mum any child support. When he walked out, he took every fucking thing that was worth anything, even our TV. And now he was selling this trashy, made-up version of his so-called life.

  It made me sick.

  “What do you want me to say, Rhonda? He was a shitty father and a git of a husband to my mum. I haven’t seen the bastard since I was eight.”

  Her face softened slightly.

  “You’ve had no contact with him at all since then?”

  “No.”

  “Okay… well… good. The studio PR people will have to deal. They’ll probably pay him to keep his mouth shut and…”

  My head snapped up. “What?”

  “Miles, this is how it works: the studio don’t want this sort of negative publicity. They’ll pay him off and…”

  “NO!” I yelled, making her stop mid sentence. Okay, so I didn’t yell much generally but this shit was way out of order. “Rhonda, you don’t get it. You can’t pay that bastard off – he’ll just keep on coming back. I know him. He won’t care what contract you get him to sign – he’ll break it. Yeah, you can sue him but it’ll be too late and the money will be gone – women, drink, horse races. That’s what he does. That’s what he’s always done. Let him sell his hard luck story once. After that, no one will be interested.”

  She peered over her glasses at me. “You sure about this, Miles?”

  “Yeah.”

  I saw Clare give a staccato nod of her head, and felt relieved that she agreed with me, and she backed me up all the way. She hated him almost as much as I did.

  Telling mum was worse, and because she didn’t Skype, I had to do it over the phone.

  “Hi, mum. It’s me.”

  “Miles! Hello, luv, this is a nice surprise. How are you? How’s Clare?”

  “Yeah, yeah, she’s good. How are you?”

  “Oh, nothing to complain about. But tell me everything. How’s the film going?”

  “Um, well…”

  She paused, and I could hear the anxiety creeping into her voice.

  “Has something happened?”

  “Sort of, yeah. It’s not… I don’t know…”

  “Spit it out, luv.”

  “It’s dad.”

  I could practically feel the ice creeping down the phone.

  “Your father? What about him?”

  “Mum, have you seen the Daily Mirror today?”

  “No. Why?”

  “They’ve published a story about me… and him.”

  I waited for her to respond, but there was nothing. I couldn’t even hear her breathing.

  “Mum?”

  “I’m still here. What did they say?”

  “A load of crap and his hard luck story.”

  “Hard luck! He’s lucky he’s not in prison. What lies has he been spinning this time?”

  “Like I said, just crap. About how I’m making all this money, and he’s been frozen out, and is living off benefits. About to evicted. You know, the usual.”

  “Well, we both know he’s a liar, so you mustn’t let it worry you, Miles.”

  “I’m not worried, mum. Honestly. But the chances are you’ll have reporters knocking at your door. Rhonda spoke to Melody in London, and they’ll send someone to help you if it gets to be a problem.”

  She gave a humorless laugh.

  “Don’t worry about me. Any reporter that comes knocking on my door, I’ll send ‘em off with a flea in their ear.”

  “Yeah, I can imagine. But it’s probably best if you say ‘no comment’ to anything anyone says. Or just ignore them.”

  “Well, if you say so. But I’d love to give them a piece of my mind.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  There was an even longer pause.

  “I’m so sorry, luv.”

  I didn’t understand what she meant.

  “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.”

  “I’m sorry you didn’t have a better father.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. What could I say? I barely knew the man. We only heard from him when bailiffs came knocking on the door because of some debt he’d run up in mum’s name.

  “Nah, better off just you and me, mum.”

  “You’re a good boy, Miles. Look after yourself. Give Clare a hug for me.”

  “Yeah, thanks, mum. Bye.”

  She never liked talking on the phone much.

  Clare stood next to me, having heard my half of the conversation.

  “How’d it go?”

  “She was upset. Apologized for him being a fucking awful father.” I rubbed my eyes, tiredly. “And she told me to give you a hug.”

  “Pay up then,” she said, wrapping her soft arms around me.

  I pulled her closer and rested my head against her neck while she held me.

  That had been a bad day, leading to a bad week. The story had been all over the internet, too. The worst thing was that reporters started hounding my mum at work and coming by the house. Luckily, she had some good friends who protected her from the worst of it, and even Melody sent someone to help her, which I thought was pretty decent – even if it was in the agency’s best interests, too. I was angry that there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

  Maybe I’d look him up when I got back to London. Pay that fucker a personal visit. Yeah, I really liked the idea of that.

  After a few days, the stories began to disappear as other news took over. Things began to calm down, and the couple of reporters who came to the location went away with a few grainy shots and nothing else.

  I was allowed to get on with the shoot, and get on with my life.

  But I wasn’t going to forget what that bastard had done.

 
Today had been the last day of location shooting and all the principal photography had been finished without going a day over schedule. Jo-Anne had been amazing, and I was in awe of how she’d managed to get everything completed in time, on budget, and without yelling even once.

  She told me to expect a couple of days in the studio once Lilia and I were back in LA, plus three or four days of dubbing some of the dialogue. But otherwise I was done. I’d finished my first – and probably last – Hollywood movie. I kept waiting to feel something, anything, but I just felt hollow.

  I was going to miss Clare like hell.

  Things were going well with Lilia, I thought, and the sex was pretty good. It was irritating to keep seeing photographs of us together on the internet, but I figured that would ease up once we were back in LA.

  I wasn’t really sure what I was going to do next. Rhonda was keen to keep some momentum, as she put it, and send me for more auditions, but she wasn’t pushing anything, which was cool of her. Melody had been in touch, too, saying that a stage job had come up back in London, but when I wasn’t able to commit to the long rehearsals because of the publicity schedule for Dazzled, I had to pass. She said there’d be other opportunities, but it made me nervous to turn down work.

  And Clare had to get back for the final year of her university course – a large part of me wanted to go with her, away from all of the crazy.

  She’d been just so fucking fantastic, coming out here to support me. Yeah, the best friend a guy could have. I wanted to do something to show her how much I appreciated it – I just wasn’t sure what.

  Although I had to admit, it was kind of hard to juggle having a girlfriend and a girl friend who hated each other. I mean, seriously – glaring, ignoring, cold-shouldering, and making all these bitchy, barbed comments. I didn’t understand why they couldn’t get on.

  “What are you thinking?”

  Lilia’s soft voice interrupted my thoughts. I hadn’t wanted to wake her, so I’d been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for the last half hour.

  “Hey, beautiful!”

  I leaned over and kissed her shoulder. She had a thing about morning breath fucking 24/7. Maybe it sounds gross, but it didn’t bother me. I loved everything about her – well, except the way she treated Clare.

  She ran her hand down my chest and tugged playfully at the sheet by my waist.

  “So… what were you thinking about?”

  Looking back, the smart thing would have been to lie.

  “I was just thinking about Clare.”

  As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I could have cheerfully punched myself in the head.

  “Oh!” she snapped, her eyes flashing dangerously. “Well, as you think about her so often, maybe you shouldn’t be here!”

  “Um, we’re in my room, Lilia.”

  Yeah, another wrong answer.

  “Fine!” she snarled. “I can fix that!”

  I knew I had about two seconds to dig myself out of my newly dug crater before Lilia went postal.

  The brain to mouth chain reaction hadn’t done me much good in the last ten seconds, so I didn’t risk speaking. Instead, I held her arm gently and leaned over, pressing her into the bed, showing her with my body reasons not to be mad at me.

  Some time later, I nudged her with my shoulder.

  “Hey, we have to get up.”

  Lilia groaned and pulled the sheet more tightly over her body. “No, I’m staying here.”

  “Nah, we got to. It’s the wrap party.”

  “Oh, that,” she sniffed. “Those things are always a waste of time – everyone stands around drinking and making small talk. Duh – bor-ing!”

  I shrugged. “Sounds alright to me. Besides, everyone’s leaving in the morning – it’s our last chance to see the crew together.”

  “Whatever,” she yawned.

  “Come on, baby,” I said, kissing her hair. “It’s my first time – you just gotta promise to be gentle with me.”

  She brushed me off and rolled over.

  “Okay, not forcing you,” I said, but inside I was irritated.

  I showered quickly and hunted around for a clean pair of jeans in the hotel’s laundry bag. God, I loved room service.

  “Where are you going?” said Lilia, as I pulled on a t-shirt.

  “The wrap party.”

  “What? I said I wasn’t going!”

  “And I said I wasn’t forcing you. But I want to go and see everyone.”

  “You… you’re just going to leave me here?”

  I could tell she was really angry. Well, that was tough.

  “Pretty much, yeah.”

  “If you walk out of that door, don’t expect me to be here when you get back!” she hissed.

  Ah, hell.

  “Lilia, I don’t know why you’re making a big deal about this. I just want to go and have a few drinks and say thanks to all the people who’ve helped me.”

  “Oh, stop being so goddamn nice,” she snarled.

  Like I hadn’t heard that before. Did women want guys to act like pricks? Did they want to be treated badly?

  “Come with me. I’ll wait for you.”

  “Fuck off, Miles!”

  Fair enough.

  And I opened the door and walked out.

  Huh. That didn’t feel so bad.

  Everyone from the cast and crew was in the hotel lounge when I came down the stairs. I felt like a bit of a dick for not being there sooner.

  Polly staggered over, hooked her arm around my waist and put a beer in my hand. From the way she leaned against me, I could tell she was well on her way to a grade ‘A’ hangover in about 10 hours.

  “You’re so pretty,” she sighed. “Why are you so pretty?”

  “How are those beer goggles working for you, Pol?” I said, with a laugh.

  “Noooo!” she wailed. “You’re beautiful. Let’s have babies. Lots of pretty, pretty babies.”

  I couldn’t help going a bit red, but I eased her into a chair and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

  “Don’t forget me when you’re famous,” she slurred.

  Jo-Anne gave a huge laugh. “Trust me, Polly, he won’t forget you in a hurry.”

  Which was true.

  How could I forget any of them? They’d been with me on this amazing ride.

  I scanned the room, feeling uncharacteristically sentimental, and then Clare’s eyes met mine. She raised her glass in an ironic salute, and I took my beer and went to sit next to her. She was at a table with Mildred and Leon.

  “Where you been, like I couldn’t guess,” she said, answering her own question and rolling her eyes at the same time.

  I winked at her and chugged half the bottle of beer.

  “Young love,” sighed Mildred, and Clare pulled a face. She was so cute when she did that – it made me smile.

  “What about slightly less young love?” Clare shot back, raising an eyebrow.

  I caught the embarrassed glance that bounced between Mildred and Leon.

  “Oh, wow! Are you guys together? That’s great! Really something to celebrate,” I said.

  “Yup,” nodded Leon, “she’s it for me. Does things with a brush that I’ve just never seen before.”

  “Oh, God! Too much information!” snorted Clare, making me laugh – even though I had to agree.

  But it was pretty cool seeing them together, holding hands and all that loved-up shit. I mean, they were knocking on a bit, like 40 or something, but they hadn’t given up on love. I hoped I’d be like that. Except I didn’t want to wait until I was 40 to meet The One.

  Hell, maybe I already had, I just didn’t know it yet.

  Even as I was wondering if Lilia would bother to make an appearance, I saw her walk into the room.

  In just a plain t-shirt – huh, one of mine – she was beautiful. I crossed my fingers that she was in a better mood, but then she gave me this huge smile and small shrug, so I relaxed.

  “Hi, guys,” she said, to the room in general. �
��Drinks on me tonight. Go crazy.” Then Polly’s slumped form caught her eye. “Looks like someone already did.”

  “Yeah, well, we’ve been here for a couple of hours,” said Clare, pointedly.

  Oh, great.

  Luckily, Lilia ignored her. Instead, she leaned down and kissed me full on the lips. Guess that meant I was forgiven.

  “Mmm, I like this seat,” she purred, pouring herself onto my lap.

  It was kind of sweet, but it made it hard to talk to anyone else.

  “Can I get you a drink, baby?”

  “Yeah, a bucket of cold water,” Clare whisper-shouted, and a few people laughed.

  Lilia gave a little hiss of annoyance, and I stifled a groan.

  I sent up a quick prayer of thanks when Jo-Anne interrupted whatever was going to be said next.

  “Well, as we’re all together, I’d like to just say a big thank you to everyone. This has been one of the best and easiest shoots I’ve ever been on. You know, except for the floods, hurricane, car wreck, actor getting arrested – all of that.”

  “Thanks for reminding me, Jo-Anne!” I grouched.

  “Aw, honey, it was a cute mugshot!”

  I took a swig of beer and smiled sheepishly, as everyone laughed.

  “But seriously, you guys, you’ve been great, and it’s been a pleasure working with y’all. Let’s hope this movie dazzles them at the box office. Mazel Tov!”

  Lilia swiped my beer, and everyone joined in the toast.

  “Here,” said Clare, passing me another bottle.

  Even that seemed to irritate Lilia.

  I turned the conversation back to Mildred and Leon, before the evening was spoiled.

  “So, when are you guys going to do the deed?”

  Mildred blushed bright red, and I choked on my beer.

  “I mean, um, when are you getting married?”

  Clare laughed out loud, and even Lilia cracked the ghost of a smile. Oh well, at least they weren’t sharpening their claws on each other.

  Yeah, spoke too soon.

  Because then Clare downed her Corona and stood up. “Anyone want another – seeing as Lilia’s buying?”

  “Did you know beer makes you fat, Clare?” sniped Lilia. “Or maybe you just don’t care.”