Dazzled

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  Uh oh.

  Clare smiled sweetly. “I could lose weight, but how would that be fair to all the skinny girls if I was this smart, funny and thin?”

  Mildred coughed and tried to hide her smile.

  But Lilia wasn’t taking that lying down. “Intelligent and funny? That would be okay, but how would you know?”

  “Well, gee, Lilia, probably because you’re about as funny as a case of herpes.”

  Lilia narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to reply, but I’d had enough.

  “Stow it – both of you.” I pushed Lilia off my knee and stood up. “This is a party – try and behave like fucking ladies.”

  And I headed off to find someone to talk to who wasn’t going to give me grievous bodily harm of the ears.

  Clare

  He was right, of course. It was probably the four bottles of beer I’d had to drown my sorrows, but I’d just had enough of Lilia’s bullshit. And the way she’d sat on his knee, letting everyone know that she was staking a claim on her property.

  I hated to admit that I was impressed, too, because she’d batted my snarkiness right back at me. Miserable harpy.

  She sashayed off to sit with the producers, and I wandered away to talk to the rest of the crew.

  Half an hour later, I found Miles shooting pool with Merv. His arse looked bitable bent over the pool table like that. Miles’ arse, not Merv’s. I liked Merv, but his backside could have covered the national debt.

  I wished I was in between Miles and the pool table, bent over it, while he lined up his cue. Phew, it was getting hot in that room.

  He stood up and fixed me with a look.

  “Why d’you have to piss her off? You know how I feel about her.”

  “She started it,” I said, guiltily.

  “Bloody hell, Clare! We’re not in kindergarten now!”

  He had a point.

  “Um, sorry and all that.”

  He blew out a long breath and sighed. “Yeah, well, don’t worry about it.”

  Then he dragged his hands over his hair and threw me a small smile. One thing about Miles, he couldn’t hold a grudge.

  I, on the other hand, I was the queen of grudges. Flippin’ spectacular at holding them.

  “I am sorry. Really. I don’t want to screw things up for you,” but I really hate your girlfriend.

  “I know. Forget it, like I said.” He shook his head and his smile got wider. “Life would be bloody dull without you, Clare.”

  “Yeah, you’ll miss me when I’m gone.”

  “I will,” he said, and I could hear in his voice that he was serious.

  “So, when do you think you’ll come home?”

  He shrugged. “I dunno. Rhonda wants me to audition for some other roles. I guess I’ll stay out here for a while, see what happens.”

  “But you’ll be home for Christmas?”

  “Maybe, I don’t know.”

  He glanced in Lilia’s direction, and my heart gave an unhappy little sigh.

  “Your mum will miss you.”

  “Yeah, I know.” He frowned.

  “She’ll be okay. My mum and dad are keeping an eye on her. I’ll drop in and say hi when I get back.”

  He leaned down to give me a quick kiss.

  “Thanks, Clare. You’re a good friend. Pain in the backside, sometimes, but a good friend.”

  The next two weeks were fantastic. And awful, too, because I was counting down to saying goodbye. And this time I didn’t know for how long.

  Miles rented a car and we took the long way back to LA. We had a couple of days in San Francisco, and Miles laughed while he drove us over the Golden Gate Bridge, and I closed my eyes and refused to look. We stayed one night in a tiny lodge on the coast road, and even saw a school of dolphins playing in the surf while we watched from the beach.

  It was perfect.

  Almost.

  I tried to ignore the times he got calls from her, or the way his phone buzzed constantly with a stream of texts. I couldn’t really blame Lilia. I mean, I knew that Miles was 100% trustworthy, but she didn’t. It must sort of suck to have a boyfriend whose best friend was a girl. You’d always wonder, wouldn’t you? But not Miles, no matter how much I hoped. He didn’t have a cheating bone in his body.

  Too soon, he was driving me out to LAX.

  “I’ll find somewhere to park and…”

  “No, don’t. Just drop me off here.”

  “But I was going to come in and wait with you,” he protested, frowning behind his sunglasses.

  “No, here’s fine. No long goodbyes, Miles. Just chuck me out here and I’ll email you when I get back.”

  “God, I’m going to miss you, Clare. It’ll be weird being here without you.”

  “Ah, you’ll lap it up. You’ll be fine.”

  “Yeah, thanks.” He paused. “Tell mum I’m sending her my best girl to look after her.”

  “Ha! Okay.”

  “And say hi to Paul and Nazzer.” He smiled. “On second thought, tell them they’re a bunch of lazy toe rags.”

  “Will do. Come home soon.” Please.

  “Love you, Clare!”

  He kissed me quickly and gave me an awkward, one armed hug. Then I jumped out and dragged my case from the back seat, ignoring the honking of horns behind us. I waved quickly, but he was already pulling away.

  I watched until his car was out of sight.

  Notes on a Scandal

  Clare

  I’d been busy since I got back to London. Going to classes, working in the pub most evenings and at weekends. You know, trying to keep too busy to think.

  I missed my best friend.

  He emailed occasionally, and we’d managed to Skype once, but the bitch-faced floozie had torpedoed that by suddenly ‘remembering’ that they were supposed to be meeting friends. Yeah, right.

  I guess I’d thought that once filming was finished, she’d lose interest in him. But she was still hanging around like a bad smell.

  At least, for most of the Autumn, Miles had been away from her, filming on location in Ohio. He wasn’t the lead in Lifers, but it was a strong supporting role, playing a guy who’d just got out of prison after getting drunk and killing his brother in a car wreck. The film was about how their parents coped, but Miles was pleased with his part, and he was working with actors he admired.

  He sounded happy.

  The good news was that Dazzled was going to get a premiere in the UK – and I was invited. Seriously – posh frock, red carpet, the works. It wasn’t until mid January, a month after the LA launch, and Miles would only be in London for two nights, but it was something to look forward to. Lilia would be there, of course, but Miles had promised me we’d catch up properly – just the two of us.

  I was mopping up spilled beer, and stank like a brewery when my phone buzzed with an email.

  This email.

  To: CMilton93

  From: Milesb4isleep

  Sent: Friday 10 PM

  Subject: Life and other jokes

  Hey Clare!

  Yup Im actually writing you – are you shocked?

  Hows life in London? Enjoying the rain? : ) How are your exams going? Hard to believe your (sp?) you’re doing you’re finals already. Good luck with them all – sure youll ace em.

  I spoke mum to a coupla weeks ago and she said she was ok. Is she? I no you see her every couple weeks, so thanx for that.

  Ive been bumming around the last few days, well doing publicity for Dazzled an stuff. I got to hang out with Earl and his mates at the music shop, and did some jamming with the guys. That was cool. I even miss Nazzer and Paul. Have you seen those 2 freaks? How are they?

  I decided to get a new place to live. I couldn’t get a longer lease on the other, and I think I’ll be staying out here for a while. I even got a car! Nothing fancy – just an old beater, but it makes a helluva lot easier for getting around.

  Im getting better at not shoving my foot in my mouth during interviews. At least I think I am
. Check youtube and let me know, will ya?

  We had Thanksgiving this weekend and that was pretty good. I didnt realize what a big deal it is. I do now! We went to see Lilias family. I dont think they liked me much. I think they were expecting like a Duke or something. They nearly passed out when I said mum worked in a supermarket (hopefully not for much longer – but she says she likes working).

  I’ve got a new PA!!! And she’s called Honey, which took some getting used to, you know – ‘Can you do this for me, Honey?’ It sounded weird. But shes really organized and whips my ass into shape. I like her, so it works out ok. But shes not you.

  So anyway, the publicity people have been going kinda crazy with the premier and Da Silva has got some more freakin siuts for me. I know you have exams and stuff but if I sent you a plane ticket would you come? It would be amazing if you could. Let me know. Its December 7th. We could celebrate your birthday, as well? And Christmas, maybe?

  Love ya loads,

  Mx

  I sat and stared at my phone for a long time. God, his spelling was awful, and I had no idea how he managed to get through 13 years of school without knowing how to use an apostrophe.

  And I really wasn’t sure how to feel about his email either.

  He was putting down roots in Los Angeles, that much was clear. My throat felt tight and my cheeks got hot. I didn’t want to cry because he sounded so upbeat, so happy. But it made it real. His life was there now. Not here. Not with me. Not anymore.

  I wasn’t sure I wanted to go to some glitzy LA premiere – I knew from experience how out of place I’d feel. But on the other hand, it might be my last chance to say goodbye to him because when he came to the London premiere it would be for just two days. This visit, me back in LA – it would be our swansong, so to speak.

  I thought about it for the rest of the day, the email burning a metaphorical hole in my pocket – or maybe it was burning a hole metaphorically – I was too tired to work it out.

  When I went home for my dinner, and before I went back out to work the late shift, I casually mentioned to mum that Miles had invited me out there for Christmas.

  “Well, that was nice of him. Give him our best when you write back, won’t you, love.”

  “Um, well, I haven’t decided that I’m definitely going.”

  There was a short pause as she looked up from her magazine.

  “Why wouldn’t you? Your dad and I won’t mind, and it’ll be nice for you to get a bit of sun during the winter.”

  “Yeah, but it’s Christmas. I’d feel sort of… weird leaving you.”

  She gave a small snort of annoyance.

  “We won’t be alone. Prue will be coming to us for Christmas dinner as usual. I’m sure she’ll feel much better knowing that you’re out there looking after her boy.” There was a long sigh. “She misses him. We all do. I keep expecting him to knock on the door with a big smile and a bag of dirty laundry like he always used to.”

  I fiddled around with the strap of my bag and looked up to see mum watching me.

  “I know you miss him, love. So take him up on his offer.”

  “I don’t know,” I said, putting off making a decision. “I can’t stand his girlfriend. She’s an obnoxious uptight bi… cow.”

  “All the more reason for you to go, Clare,” sniffed mum. “He’s always had dreadful taste in women – present company excepted.”

  I gave this empty little laugh. It didn’t fool mum. It never had.

  “And what about my birthday? I mean, don’t you mind?”

  “You hate it when we make a fuss. Dad and I will celebrate your twenty-first when you get back. Go and enjoy yourself, love. Opportunities like this don’t come around that often.”

  I resisted for about another 27 seconds, then I went up to my bedroom and opened my laptop.

  I hesitated, wondering what to say. In the end, four words said it all.

  Book me a ticket! Cx

  Miles

  Some days Lilia really pissed me off with her bitchy attitude. Today was one of them. And damn it, it should have been one of the really good days. It was just four days before the LA premiere and for some reason Lilia was mad at me. That was nothing new. Pretty much everything I said or didn’t say, did or didn’t do, seemed to piss her off. I couldn’t help wondering if it was worth it. But she could be really sweet and funny, too. I just wished I knew which Lilia was real.

  When I’d first told her that Clare was coming over for the premiere she reamed me out.

  “Why the hell have you invited her?” she yelled at full volume.

  “Jeez, Lilia! Maybe because she’s my best friend! Is that enough of a reason? Hell, she even worked on the film with us.”

  “Oh, please! She ran a few errands – that’s hardly working on a movie.”

  “What the fuck ever. I’ve sent her a ticket. She’s coming.”

  “You know she’ll hate it. She’s just not cut out for something like a premiere. It’s about selling the look – she can’t possibly do that.”

  What the…?

  “That’s such crap! You make her sound… And you know what? Merv is no oil painting, but he’ll still be there! I don’t hear you complaining about him.”

  “Cinematographers are important,” she snapped. “Clare is just…”

  “Just what?”

  “Insignificant,” she said calmly, folding her arms.

  It was her calm that finished me off. I walked out and didn’t answer her texts or take her calls for two days. Then she’d come to my apartment and we ended up in bed. I thought our argument was over – but I was wrong.

  Clare was flying in the day before the premiere. I’d hoped she could come earlier, but she’d had exams to do. I didn’t want to mess with her degree, so I was planning on freeing up as much time as possible while she was here. Rhonda had me on a tight schedule with the dreaded round of interviews and press calls that seemed to be necessary for every film. I’d got a lot of them done before she flew in, so that was something.

  Most of the interviewers were really nice, but it was still excruciating. Gayl’s training helped – a bit – but when I got nervous, I had no control over my mouth whatsoever.

  I’d just unclipped the mike from the latest debacle and found Rhonda waiting for me in the dressing room.

  She shook her head with an amused expression on her face.

  “I don’t know why it works, but it just does,” she said, nodding toward the live studio. “You sure can charm an audience, Miles, even when you’re talking utter bullshit.”

  “Gee, Rhonda, you say the nicest things. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, yeah, don’t do the cute thing on me, you’re not my type.”

  “You’re breaking my heart, Rhonda!” I said, pasting a wounded expression onto my face.

  She slapped my arm.

  “Shut up for a minute! Now, what’s this I hear about you inviting your little friend to the premiere.”

  I frowned. “You mean Clare? Why the hell shouldn’t I?”

  “Whoa! Don’t get all defensive on me, Miles, but doncha think you should have told me?”

  “Um, no.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Well, have you even sorted an outfit for her?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Jeez, Miles! Don’t forget I’ve met Clare. She seems like a nice girl, but she’s not going to win Model of the Year! She needs an evening dress, hair and makeup for your premiere! Look, get Honey to take care of it for you – that’s her job.”

  So Lilia had been right about one thing – Clare needed a special dress for the premiere. Why didn’t I think of that?

  In desperation, I’d called Natalia Da Silva, seeing as she’d sorted me out with a suit and a load of other shit already.

  I picked up my phone as soon as I got back to my apartment, and scrolled through to her office number. The call was answered immediately.

  “Hi, could I speak to Natalia, um, Mis
s Da Silva, please? I was wondering if she could help a friend of mine get a dress for…”

  I was interrupted immediately. “I’m sorry. Miss Da Silva only works with existing clients.”

  And suddenly the phone was dead in my hand. I wasn’t sure what had just happened. So I tried again.

  “Hi, I think I just got cut off. I’m a client of hers, um, Miles Stephens and…”

  “I don’t think so,” the woman on the other end said, her voice rich with disdain. And the bitch cut me off again.

  I realized that Honey was watching with an amused expression.

  “What are you trying to do, Miles?”

  “Fuck! I’m trying to get a dress for my friend Clare for the premiere. I thought I’d ask Natalia Da Silva but the bit… the, um, receptionist keeps cutting me off!”

  I knew I sounded pathetic, and Honey laughed at me.

  “You know, Miles, that’s my job, to do things like that for you, I mean.”

  “Yeah, but… I just wanted to get her a nice dress,” I said, plaintively.

  “Let me know how that works out for you,” she grinned. “Look, Miles, this is how it is: receptionists are programmed to be unable to grasp the concept that you are trying to make your own booking. Whether it’s for a goji berry smoothie, or for infrared fat wraps, or getting a table at Mr. Chow’s – leave it to me.”

  “What’s an infrared fat wrap?” I wondered, out loud.

  She sighed theatrically, then winked. “Watch and learn, grasshopper.”

  I sat back, sort of hoping the same thing would happen to her so I wouldn’t look totally inept.

  “Yes, Honey Scholes calling on behalf of my client Miles Stephens. No, you will not put me on hold – I want to speak to Wendy immediately about the Dazzled premiere, so you will not make me look an asshole, got that?”

  She was put through instantly.

  Damn.

  After a quick word of explanation to Wendy, she passed me the phone.

  “Yeah, hi Wendy. I need an evening dress for the premiere, well, not for me, for a friend. You met her that first time… I… um…”

  Don’t remind her of that, you dick!

  “Ah, the young lady who was with you? The British girl?”

  “Yeah, yeah, my friend Clare.”