99 to Nowhere

by DOMINO

  It had been a year since I saw Rio, but I knew deep down I would never stop trying to find him. I managed to get in touch with Evan and was elated to hear he was with his mother in Kentucky and Cory was with him as well. Cory had a full time job at a hotel and was going to night school. He met a young girl that he was in love with and planned to marry her after he got his GED. Evan was elated as he told me how he made a trip to see his brother in jail and that he got back in school and would be graduating the same time I was. He promised me that he and Cory would still keep an ear out for any word on Rio and he would email me if he ever heard anything. Jo also talked to Mr. Horne and he told her that he hadn’t heard from Rio since the day he picked up all of his information. It was as if he dropped off the face of the earth. I refused to believe he was dead or forgot about me, my heart wouldn’t let me.

  Jo kept me positive and came to visit me three times a week. I always looked forward to it, telling her how well I was doing in my studies and she would praise me like nobody ever did in my life. She meant the world to me.

  “Hey little lady” She smiled brightly when she walked in my room. I now shared a room with a petite brunette named Clora and we got along well. I managed to stay out of trouble while I was in the facility and she and I watched each other’s back. We both turned 18 the next day and we planned to privately celebrate in our room at midnight.

  “Jo!” I leaped from my study desk to give her a hug. “I’m great, how about you? How is Mark treating you?” She had been dating Mark since I met her, and he even came to visit me a few times with her, and I liked him.

  “Oh, you know how men are—” She frowned and sat down on my bed.

  I was shocked she came to visit me on a Thursday; she usually came on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. “He’s getting on your nerves, huh?” I chuckled and sat down next to her and draped my arm over her shoulder. “Yeah, I wish I knew what you meant” I chuckled along with her.

  “Believe me honey, you do not want to wish that” she laughed loudly and picked up her pocket book. “I came because I’ll be out of town tomorrow so I wanted to give you this today” She handed me a small wrapped box and card. “Happy Birthday Maxx”

  I hugged her tightly and smiled. “Thanks so much Jo” She was always giving me small gifts she knew I could keep in my room. I began to open the gift carefully.

  I wanted to keep the wrapping and bow. I tried not to cry when I opened the box and it revealed a silver bracelet like hers. On the front she engraved the word, believe, and on the back it read precious. I bit my lip so I wouldn’t cry and hugged her tightly, it was just like hers.

  “Thank you Jo, thank you for everything”

  “Sisters forever, huh? You’re stuck with me until these old bones get tired” She chuckled after I released her.

  “Don’t’ talk like that, if God ever took you from me, I would march into heaven and snatch you back” I replied confidently, but it only made her laugh louder.

  “You know what, Maxx, I believe you would” She kissed my forehead and stood up to leave. “I had to bribe a few stuffed suits out there to let you keep that, so don’t let any of the other girls get a look at it”

  “I won’t, I promise” I agreed. “I’ll keep it safe forever”

  “Well, I gotta get out of here. I have a lot of things to do and I want to make sure I have a free day for your graduation on Tuesday” She threw her purse over her shoulder and headed for the door.

  I admired the bracelet on my wrist and smiled at her. “Thanks again Jo”

  “Anytime Maxx, see you Tuesday” She waved and walked out my room and down the hall.

  I sat on my bed and folded up the wrapping paper. I placed the bow on my pillow and closed my eyes. I remembered the last piece of jewelry I was given was from Rio and it was still held away from me until I was released. I couldn’t wait for Tuesday so I would never have to see my room again, but was still wary about my life plan and where I would go. I had nowhere to live when I was released and pictured myself back on the street or in a shelter. I even considered going to Georgia to search for Rio and then decided he was probably moving on with all the plans he had and I didn’t want to interfere in it. I lay down on my pillow and closed my eyes, wondering what next Tuesday would bring, and hoping I would be able to deal with it all.

  FORTY FIVE

  I stood silently in a blue robe on the makeshift stage to accept my diploma and smiled brightly at Jo that whistled wildly when they called my name. There were only forty girls graduating, but it still felt like it took forever before I finally got my hands on my diploma. I held it up high over my head as Jo screamed her praises.

  I sat back down next to Clora and we held each other’s hand with excitement and sadness. She would be going to live with her grandmother in Denver after the graduation reception, but we promised to keep in touch through email.

  “You did it!” Jo yelled after they released us to friends and family and we turned in the facilities borrowed graduation robes. She practically picked me up off the floor in a tight bear hug and I laughed loudly.

  “Thank you so much for everything, Jo, thanks for coming and believing in me”

  I hugged her tightly as we made our way through families and friends of other graduates.

  “Well don’t thank me just yet” She grinned. “I have something else to give you. It may not be so hot for you, but it is for me”

  I looked at her curiously after she pulled me into a quiet corner of the large banquet room.

  She held out a stack of papers to me. “What’s this?”

  “A lot of hard work on my part, read it” She timidly encouraged.

  I looked over the papers and began to understand. “Is this real?” I looked at her with more hope than I ever had in my life. “Is all of this real?” I looked back over the paperwork and then back at her.

  “If you’ll have me” She smiled timidly.

  Tears fell before I could hug her. “There isn’t any other person in the world that I would want to live with Jo, please, believe me” I cried into her ear.

  “Good, then let’s get the hell out of here” She smiled.

  She took my hand, and we marched out of the facility, but not before she stopped me in front of the building and took a picture.

  “This is the last time you will ever see this place, Maxx”

  I smiled proudly and agreed. “Yup, the last time”

  FORTY SIX

  I moved in with Jo and we got along as if we had known each other for years. She lived an hour out of Millington, but surprised me when she told me that she had moved three months before I graduated and when she was coming to visit me she was catching a plane. She didn’t want me to know because she knew I would tell her not to visit. She had a two-bedroom apartment in Tallahassee Florida and I loved it there. She helped me enroll in the local community college and I even managed to make a few friends. I also attained a job at a local college burger restaurant. The change of scenery, and warm weather, welcomed me with open arms. I was happier than I ever been.

  Jo and Mark were no longer a couple, but she managed to gain the affection of a co-worker named Don, that I loved. He never made me feel like an outsider when they were together, and since they were both working in a field that I aspired to be in, they helped me along with everything. Any question or help I needed with homework was always a priority for both of them.

  “Jo!” I yelled after I rushed into the apartment to change clothes for work.

  “In here! How was class?” she answered and walked out of the kitchen with Don behind her. They were both covered in flour and looked disheveled. “We were trying to make homemade biscuits, but Don obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing” She twisted her lips up at him and I smiled when he kissed her quickly.

  “What can I say; I’m not a good cook. I admit it” He shrugged. “How was class? Did you ace that test?”

  I giggled and nodded at both of them. “Aced it” I held my thumbs up. �
�I did better on that test than you did with the biscuits” I continued to giggle. “I can use them as paperweights” I teased and ran into my room to change.

  I could hear them laughing as I pulled off my shirt and stopped when I realized I snapped the clasp on the necklace Rio gave me. I dropped to my knees and held it in my hand upset. Even though it had been four years since I saw him or heard from him, I still loved him. I put the necklace on my study desk and finished getting dressed before I rushed out for work.

  The months flew by, and before I knew it, I had two years of college out the way and I was standing in front of a judge again, but this time it was good news. I was Jo’s maid of honor as she said her vows to Don. I was elated for both of them. I managed to save money and got them a large sterling silver picture frame so they could put their wedding picture in it.

  “Call me if you need anything, and I mean anything, Maxx” Jo persisted as she ran around the apartment, packing last minute things for her honeymoon. “I have the number for the hotel I’ll be at and you already have Don’s. All the info is on the fridge”

  I stood up and put my hands on her shoulder so she would stop worrying. “I got it Jo. I’m not a kid anymore, remember? I’m twenty years old now; I’m a big girl, so get out of here, because Don will be up here in a minute to get you if you don’t”

  She let out an exhausted sigh before she hugged me and kissed me quickly on the cheek. “Love you Maxx, see you in a week”

  My heart always beamed when she told me she loved me. “Love you too, now go and get busy making me an auntie”

  She laughed loudly before she closed the door. I could hear her rushing down the stairs of our apartment and I was happy for her. She and Don sat me down the night before the wedding to tell me that Jo would be moving in with him and so would I. He had a large four bedroom home and he told me that we were family and it wouldn’t be a home if I weren’t there too. I was grateful, and agreed, but told Jo I planned to get my own place when I turned twenty-one and she reluctantly agreed.

  I had the weekend off from work and planned to do nothing other than watching TV and studying. My goal was to take as many hours in school and graduate early. I was on my way to being a social worker. I promised Jo that I would pay it forward when I graduated and got my first job. I didn’t plan to disappoint her.

  I was eating a sandwich when my cellphone rang and I looked at the screen to see a co-worker calling me. I contemplated not answering because I didn’t know if he would ask me to cover for him because he knew I was off, but answered it anyway.

  “Hello Dean” I sighed.

  “Hey, what are you doing?” he asked jovially.

  “Watching TV” I answered and wondered if he would beg me to cover his shift.

  “I checked the schedule and noticed you were off this weekend and wondered if you would, uhhh, well maybe want to go with me to check out a movie?” His confidant and jovial demeanor quickly grew hesitant.

  I was quiet and stared at the TV. “The movies?”

  “Yeah and maybe grab a bite to eat after and I don’t mean a burger at our place of employ” He chuckled.

  I thought about him. He was a few inches taller than me, nice physique, and cute. There were other waitresses that wanted to date him at work, but I held firm on not dating someone I worked with.

  “I’m not sure Dean; I mean, I don’t really date men I work with—”

  “Then I’ll quit” He countered.

  I smiled at his quick wit, it reminded me of Rio, and I bit my lip when his face flashed before my eyes, but knew it was time I moved on.

  “Okay, but don’t blame me when you’re broke”

  We had a brief conversation before we hung up and I went into my bedroom to find something to wear. He was the first guy I ever considered going out with since Rio and I found my hands picking up the heart locket I placed on my desk. I held it to my heart and kissed it before I placed it into my jewelry box and closed it shut. I knew I was closing my heart on the past, so I could move on, and it hurt. I tapped the jewelry box with my finger and stared at it as the past began rushing back.

  “Good bye Rio” I whispered.

  I turned the light out in my room before I walked out to meet Dean.

  FORTY SEVEN

  Dean and I had been spending more and more time together and he would do anything in the world for me. Even if we were close, I still refused to share my past with him and he didn’t pressure me to reveal any of it. I was moving on in my life and Rio still managed to keep me from moving forward one hundred percent. I broke up with Dean after dating five months and focused my attention on school. I decided that would be my boyfriend until I graduated and got a job in my career field. Jo and Don didn’t argue and admired me for being so focused.

  I lived with Jo and Don for the next year, and just as I planned, I moved out as soon as I turned twenty one. I still considered them my mom and dad and our family portraits were something I had to explain to people repeatedly since some couldn’t understand how a black family could have a white daughter. We would laugh it off and know color didn’t matter. We were a close family and I now had a niece that I loved more than life itself. Her name was Donyella and she was quite a character, she was now three and loved me immensely.

  I was twenty-four and a satisfied graduate of Florida State University. Jo and Don gave me a huge celebration party with family and friends. I was extra excited to see Evan, he drove down for my graduation with his fiancé, and it made my day absolutely perfect. I couldn’t have asked for more in life, except to find Rio, and see if his plans for his life turned out as well as mine. I had put everything into searching for him the past year and never found a thing; I realized it was consuming me. He and I promised if we were ever separated that we would die trying to find each other and I didn’t plan to break my promise.

  “So, you think he’s still in Georgia?” Evan asked as we sat in a local coffee shop and watched cars go by.

  “I don’t know” I sighed. “I don’t even know if he would remember me” I paused and shook my head. “I mean, I know he would remember me, but he may be married with kids and everything”

  Evan scoffed. “True love never dies Maxx.” He replied softly.

  He smiled when his fiancé, Tracy, kissed his cheek. She was four months pregnant and they were both excited. It was his last day and they were driving back to Kentucky after we separated from the coffee shop.

  “Don’t forget what I told you” Evan whispered when he hugged me goodbye.

  I nodded, but didn’t believe it. I hugged Tracy and waved good-bye until their truck turned the corner out of sight. Then I got in my car and drove to my one bedroom apartment to start my job search, in Georgia.

  Don wasn’t happy that I decided to seek employment in Georgia. He had become a protecting father and he didn’t want me to go there and get disappointed or hurt.

  “I’ll be fine” I whined as we sat at the dinner table. I always went over for Sunday dinner and it had been like that ever since I moved out on my own. “I’m twenty-four years old now and Georgia isn’t even far. I could drive home on weekends”

  “I know Maxx, but what if he’s not even there? What if he didn’t go to Georgia?” Don persisted. “I know that’s the reason you are looking for jobs there”

  “He went there, I know he did. Rio had a plan, and the only thing that stopped him from it, was me. I know when he couldn’t find me he decided to finish his plan; you have to believe me. Rio was very determined”

  “That’s just it, Maxx, you said was” Don shook his head. “He may not be the same person he was when you were with him. You two were kids, teenagers—”

  “Don” Jo put a hand on his shoulder. “Maxx has a right to seek him out, and don’t forget, she’s a lot like me. There was a time when I would have searched the world for Trevor if I knew he was still alive, so I know she will not rest until she finds out what happened to him. It will always be in the back of her mind” She winked
at me and I nodded in agreement. “You have my blessing Maxx; I’m scared, I’ll admit it. The day I met you in the facility hospital room, I promised myself that I would never let anything hurt you again—”

  “I know” I whispered, knowing Rio promised me the same thing the night I bared my soul to him. “But Jo, I’ll be fine, honestly, regardless of the outcome, I know I’ll be fine. I just want to know he’s doing well and—I’ll be fine”

  They both nodded solemnly and we finished dinner, one happy family. I explained the interviews I had lined up in Atlanta and they agreed they were great opportunities. I was excited. The life I once hated more than the air I breathed, now woke me up in the morning with a smile, and for some reason I knew it wouldn’t let me down.