The Life She Wished For (Birds of Paradise Book 2)

by ChaShiree M.

  Before Phoenix, I was dark, demanding, and unforgiving. I had certain tastes that extended from somewhat kinky, to downright sadistic. It was an outlet for the life I had chosen to live, as a penance for the way I was dishonoring my parents by way of trying to honor them.

  The minute I saw Phoenix, I saw light. I know it sounds like a bitch thing to say, but it’s the Goddamn truth. She was a beacon of light in a dark tunnel, and I wanted to follow her out to the land of the living.

  Now; as we are walking in the front door, I was going to wait for my next question. But, as with all things Phoenix, I am too anxious to wait another second for what I want.

  “Myshka, do you have any plans at the end of the month?”

  “Not that I know of now. I usually hang with my sisters and my brothers, if they don’t have to work, or I go to my older sister’s house and play with my new nephew. Now that my sister is pregnant, I should spend more time with her helping and stuff, so she is not so stressed. Not that she has any reason to be stressed out; her husband is awesome at taking care of…”

  “Phoenix, calm down. You have no reason to be nervous, precious. Nothing is going to happen tonight. We are going to eat and then sleep. I need to see you in our bed and finally hold you in my arms. Ok?”

  “I’m not nervous. Why would you think that?”

  “You’re right, my mistake.” I tell her trying to hide my smirk. She is wonderfully cute trying to be so grown up and strong.

  “Anyway, why did you ask if I had plans?”

  “I want to take you away for the weekend. I have a meeting in Los Angeles. I thought since I can’t miss the meeting; but I also cannot be away from you any longer, you could come with me. Have you ever been to Los Angeles?”

  “Wow. No, I haven’t. I’ve always wanted to go. But I can’t go with you right now. As much as I want to, my family is going through something right now and I must be here. Sorry.”

  I looked over at her as she turned me down. She was worrying with her lip, biting and sucking it into her mouth. It was the single most erotic thing I have ever seen. I couldn’t help but imagine my dick sliding into that mouth, making it wet with her spit. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done, stopping myself from slamming it into her neck. Seeing the outline of my monster in her throat…FUCK!!! That would be the night she got bred. She needs to stop doing that before I blow in my pants like a fucking teenager.

  “Mouse, please stop doing that. I am holding on by a thread as it is, precious. If you keep biting that sexy ass lip, you will be under me in less than 5 secs. I am not sure you are ready for me in full ‘make you mine’ mode yet.” As I am saying this, I take my thumb and forefinger and separate the offending parts.

  SHIT. That was a mistake. Now her lips are swollen from her sucking at them. They are red, bruised, and fuck if I can resist. I find myself leaning forward. Right before I make contact, I stop and see thru the reflection of her eyes that she has been waiting for me to do something.

  Well damn!

  I peck her mouth at first, making sure she is with me. When I hear a slight moan from her mouth, I know I have a green light.

  Slamming her against the door, I slide my tongue along her lips demanding she let me in. She does not disappoint me. Trying like a little lost guppy to mimic my actions, only fuels my flame. Her innocence shows in everything she does, including kissing. It makes me want to rip her clothes off and feast. I want to fucking sink my teeth into every inch of her. I want to mark her in places people would never see, and places they couldn’t help but notice. I want her to hurt in the most poetic of ways. I need her out of her mind, writhing with want, and insane with devotion to me.

  I start to nibble at her little mouth, relishing the sweetness that is innately her. My prayers are sent, to wherever they go, that I found her first. Instead of some fuck face that would taint her and treat her like less than the queen she is.

  Don’t get me wrong, I am going to taint her. I am going to defile her in ways she doesn’t know exist in the bedroom. Maybe in my office, backseat of the limo, a restaurant or two, but only ever for my eyes. Outside of that, I want her innocence and youth to remain. She should never be touched by darkness, although I suspect it is already too late for that.

  As I enjoy devouring her mouth, time seems to fast forward to where I have her on her back beneath me. I am not sure how things got completely out of control. The memory of walking her backwards evades me, but she feels so good. She’s all soft and sweet, squirming, and mewling in my mouth. I grab one of her legs and hike it to my waist, so I can fit the leaking outline of my dick up against her hot cunt. Although we have clothes on, I can feel the heat emitting from her. If I stick my hands in her pants, I know there would be a blaze of heat while at the same time being so fucking soaked for me.

  Wrenching my mouth reluctantly from hers, I look at her face as I take in her beauty. Her eyes are closed, and her face is flushed. She has her lips pursed in search of mine, and in that moment, I feel this pang settle in my chest. In my arms is my whole world. She is the very reason I breathe and has been since the moment we met. She will continue to be for the rest of my life. The weight of this realization is almost too much. I haven’t cried in 20 years since my parents died, but this revelation has moisture developing in my eyes. Before she can see it and think I am a wuss, I take a deep breath and continue my exploration of all this innocence I have at my disposal.

  “FUCK” I roar, making her eyes open and look at me. The lust reflected there is pure and enough to make me say, fuck it. If I didn’t have a different agenda other than just tonight, I would take her right here. Her half-lidded eyes and deep rapid breathing are all signs she is ready for me, but not like this.

  “Look at you little Phoenix. So warm and soft. So open and accepting. You make me feel 10 ft tall when you look at me like this. I want to give you everything, Myshka. Will you let me give you everything?”

  She sheepishly nods her head at me and quickly shifts her eyes down. The blush continues to spread over her body and makes me hard as hell! God! To be able to harness all that newness and turn it into this combination of hard and soft, clean and dirty, sweet and sassy… that is some heady shit. But not tonight. Tonight, I hold her and continue to plot how I will get her to LA with me.

  I am irritated with whatever is going on in her life right now that is preventing me from taking her with me and cementing our bond the way it needs to be done. But don’t worry, I will be taking care of that too, because she will be coming with me.

  There shouldn’t be anything that is not within my full purview. I will rectify that as soon as she is asleep. Nothing should be going on in her life at this moment that I don’t know. The twins are slipping. Something I will have to contend to as well. Remembering what I am trying to accomplish, I slowly pull myself into a sitting position nibbling her lips one more time. As I sit up and place her in my lap straddling me, I shudder as her hot covered cunt rubs against my erection. I want to keep her primed until we get to LA. After rubbing my nose against hers and pecking her on her lips, I proceed to try to get answers.

  “Phoenix, you can trust me precious. Tell me what is going on and I will do whatever I can to help. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to help you and make you feel safe and happy. You know that, don’t you?”

  “I think I know that, but you still haven’t told me why you disappeared and then suddenly showed up out of the blue. My life has been a series of secrets and lies, and I cannot be involved in that with my relationship. I want someone I can open to; but I have to be able to trust them as well. Do you get what I’m saying?”

  “Yes, Kotenok. I understand exactly what you are saying, and I am going to tell you where I have been. However, there is something I need for you to understand as well. Although I will never intentionally lie to you, deceive you, or hurt you, I will not unnecessarily cause you alarm either. This means I will only tell you things that are imperative for you to know; things that I cannot shie
ld you from and that would be too detrimental for you to find out by circumstance. It is my job to protect you from unpleasantness and possible distress. Your sole focus should be on making our house a home, school (should you wish to continue), finding your own personal passion, and our future growing family. Do you understand me, Malen’kaya mush?”

  As she nods her head, I realize how tense I was waiting for that answer. Her acquiescence means she is ready to go forward with her new reality.

  I haven’t decided how much of my inner self I am going to let loose on her due to her innocence. But, the one thing that was never an option was my need to protect her and keep her safe always. Should she at any time push back against what I feel is right, I cannot guarantee that the kraken will not be unleashed. If she toes the line, we should be just fine.

  Holy moly. No one could have prepared me for the desperation that came over him as soon as we made it thru the door. When he slammed me against it, I thought my panties were going to melt off. He attacked my mouth as if it had committed a crime against him. I didn’t know what to do with the feelings and emotions that were taking me over, but I do know I do not want it to stop.

  I find myself pushing back against him, trying to get more of whatever this is. I have never wanted anything more than to feel the wonderful burst of power emitting from him. I am lost in a ‘Hail’ storm. I had no clue we moved, until I was laying on a couch looking up at him. Staring into his eyes, I see so much love and protectiveness from him. Don’t get me wrong, I see fire, and lust and domination; but it is his reverence and need for me that has me moaning and begging for more. Not sure what makes him pull away from me; but I will chase him and bring him back to the place where I need him. As I get ready to beg him to continue-because let’s face it, I will beg; he looks at me and says, “Look at you little Phoenix. So warm and soft. So open and accepting. You make me feel 10 ft tall when you look at me like this. I want to give you everything, Myshka. Will you let me-give you everything?”

  Whoa! I don’t know what to say. Who says that to someone? It’s like straight out of a fairytale. Except, I know those don’t exist. But, I am looking Prince Charming in the face. I’m feeling way too emotional right now to answer, so I do the only thing I can…I nod.

  We are in this state for a bit before I can sense the change in him. Although he has a ferocious look about him, there is an abundance of pent up arousal still focused on me. Now there is a new direction to his thinking. It is amazing that I can tell these things with knowing him only a short number of hours. But, it feels like somehow, I am linked to his moods and feelings. It would be cool if it wasn’t so bizarre. He flips us and maneuvers it to where I am sitting astride him and rubs our noses together. The action is so sweet that I can feel a full outcry coming on. I have never had someone show me so much affection and devotion and in such a simple way.

  “Phoenix, you can trust me precious. Tell me what is going on and I will do whatever I can to help. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to help you and make you feel safe and happy. You know that, don’t you?”

  His question pulls me from my Hail induced state. Trust. That is a heavy word considering there is a lot I don’t know about the time he spent away from me, or even about him. Asking me to trust him is a tall order. I needed and trusted him, even after he disappeared, to do as he said; but he didn’t come. Thinking of all the perceived betrayals, this one hurt the most.

  If you really care for someone and they are in danger, don’t you show up? He didn’t after he told me he would, I am not sure what to make of that. I will ask him because the desperate part of me that wants him to be the one needs to know. Aside from that, if I am honest with myself, I can say that I do trust him. Am I weary? Yes. Of course. But somewhere in my mind and soul I know he would never hurt me on purpose.

  “I think I know that. But, you still haven’t told me why you disappeared and just now show up out of the blue. My life has been a series of secrets and lies, and I cannot be involved in that with my relationship. I want someone I can open too. But I must be able to trust them as well. Do you get what I’m saying?”

  “Yes, Kotenok. I understand exactly what you are saying, and I am going to tell you where I have been, however; there is something I need for you to understand as well. Although I will never intentionally lie to you, deceive you, or hurt you, I will not unnecessarily cause you alarm either. This means I will only tell you things that are imperative for you to know, things that I cannot shield you from and that would be too detrimental for you to find out by circumstance. Anything else, it is my job to protect you from unpleasantness and possible distress. Your sole focus, should be on making our house a home, school (should you wish to continue), finding your own personal passion, and our future growing family. Do you understand me, Malen’kaya mush?”

  I nod my head and extract myself from him. Now that the cloud has been lifted, I want to look around this place that my mystery man calls home. At first glance it is not what I expected. If the ride to Mikhail’s house made me nervous, and the subsequent entrée into his house made me wet and dazed, then looking around his house has me totally confused. It is so sparse, bare, and minimal. Nothing at all like him. This is a complete juxtaposition to what I have discovered about him in a short time. I don’t understand. Before I could stop from asking this very question, it slips out of my mouth. Surprisingly, his answer shocks the hell of out of me.

  “Well little Phoenix, it is as bare as you say because I just purchased it for us and I didn’t want to decorate it without you. This will be the home we raise our children in, fight in, love in, entertain in, and grow old together in. It is only fair you get to make into what you want. No?”

  “Wh-I mean how…you bought me a house? Why? When did you do this? Don’t you have a house? I don’t know what to say.”

  Chuckling at my astonishment he says “Well first, yes. I bought us a house. I bought it because I wanted to start fresh with you and give you something you can call your own. This is part of what I was working on while I was away from you; trying to make sure everything was ready for when I came for you. I sold my old house and moved in here about a week ago. The interior decorator is simply waiting on your call. She will be here to meet with you to go over your vision. All I ask is that you leave my office to me.”

  Listening to him rattle off the information like it is simple and all decided, I must admit I am more than a little tempted. The place is absolutely beautiful, and I can totally see the aesthetic I would have in here; but it is also so surreal.

  “Mikhail, I don’t know. I mean. I don’t know you. I have school and…”

  “Myshka” he says to me as he holds me to his chest. I feel my pebbled nipples straining toward his voice. This will be one of those moments where he distracts me with feeling good if I don’t remove myself right now. I am trying to wiggle out of his grasp by pushing at his chest. I suddenly feel something sticking me in my stomach. Slowly, I look into his eyes and the fire and lust there is almost too much to resist.

  “Precious, if you don’t stop wiggling your sexy self, you will feel more than your stomach being poked. Now, calm your succulent ass down and listen. I will tell you what you need to know; but you must also understand you will not be leaving here tonight, or any night for that matter, for the rest of our lives. Nod that pretty little head if you understand.”

  I don’t mean to nod, I swear I don’t. But, with him rubbing his nose against mine and looking at me like I am everything to him, I can’t do anything but agree to whatever he says. This man will be my undoing, I just know it. If he had asked me to strip and present myself to him, I would have been powerless to resist. He does something to me on an elemental level, and I don’t know how to stop it. Do I even want to?

  “Come and sit. I will talk, then I will feed you, and finally we will go to our bedroom.”

  The bedroom. Shit. I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet, but I also know if he pursues, I will lose. I want him…no need hi
m more than my last breath, but this is a big step, and he left me once. Why should I trust him now?

  “As I said little mouse, I am not going to take you tonight. But you will sleep in our bed wrapped in my arms. That is non-negotiable. Now come here. When I tell you about these past three months, I want to be holding you so that you can feel my sincerity. Our souls are so connected that our truths are felt through touch. You will understand later.”

  When he pulls me into his lap I feel so loved and warm, I find myself sinking further into his arms and laying my head on his chest. The heartbeat is a soft melody only I can recite. With it beating faster and out of rhythm, I can still feel its relevance to my own song.

  “Remember when I told you about my parents dying in Russia after they adopted me. Well that was true. What most people don’t know, though, is that my parents were big deal politicians over here who decided to take a hiatus and do some relief work. Part of their mission was to help the children and women being sex trafficked. They built a foundation and an organization dedicated to helping the victims with reentry, education, medical care, etc.”

  “When they died, the guardian that was appointed to my estate mismanaged their charity and by the time I got old enough to get wind of it; it had all but been depleted. When I went to the lawyer who was supposed to be looking out for my best interest, I found out he was nothing but a snake like all the rest of them. The only difference was he had something I needed. In exchange, I would give him something he could never acquire. Although none of our deal is or was illegal, it did put me near with some unsavory types. It is nothing I want you around. I spent the time away severing my ties with the things I felt could potentially be a problem. I also began delegating certain aspects of my company so that I could have more regular hours for our growing family. Some things are still left undone, but those are being dealt with forthwith. Does that satisfy you little Phoenix?”