Shad

by Catherine Lievens

Shad was surprised to hear voices coming from the kitchen when he got there. He entered and smiled a bit at the sight of Isaiah and Keenan sitting at the table, eating breakfast. Isaiah looked up when he heard Shad and he smiled.

  “You want some eggs? Nysys didn’t show up.”

  Shad smiled back and grabbed a plate, then filled it. He put it on the table and opened the fridge to take out the orange juice, then sat in front of Isaiah and started eating. Keenan was talking just like always and Shad didn’t even try to get into the conversation. Keenan was mostly talking with himself anyway, since Isaiah looked more interested in his breakfast. Not that that stopped Keenan, of course.

  Shad pushed his eggs around his plate instead of eating them. Now that he was in the kitchen, he realized he wasn’t really hungry. He usually wasn’t, but he knew he had to eat. It didn’t mean he had to like it.

  “Hey. Everything okay?” Isaiah asked suddenly.

  Shad looked up in surprise. “Huh?”

  “I said, everything okay?”

  “Oh, yeah. I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “What can you have on your mind?” Keenan asked. “It’s almost Christmas! Unless you’re still wondering what you’re buying me.”

  Shad shook his head. He’d already bought all his Christmas presents. He hadn’t even set foot out of the house to do it. Internet was wonderful. He opened his mouth to answer, but his sugar glider squeaked in his mind and Shad realized the three of them weren’t alone anymore. Gabriel was just outside the kitchen. Shad couldn’t see him, but he knew it. He could feel his mate, even if they hadn’t talked ever since the kiss.

  Shad sat frozen in his seat, watching the open kitchen door with wide eyes. His mind was going a mile a minute, wondering if Gabriel was going to come in. Maybe Isaiah’s presence would stop him. Shad hoped so, because he wasn’t sure he was ready to face his mate. Scratch that—he was sure he wasn’t.

  “Shad? What’s wrong?” Isaiah asked with worry.

  “Keenan?” Gabriel called from the hallway.

  Isaiah frowned, but Shad was relieved. Gabriel was asking for Keenan. He wanted Keenan, and he hadn’t acknowledged Shad’s presence in any way.

  Keenan quickly got up, making his chair skid, and his eyes went wide. “Oh my God, what time is it?”

  Isaiah checked the phone that was sitting on the table. “Uh, six AM, why?”

  Keenan hurried to the kitchen door without answering. Shad never looked away from the door, but he was hyper-aware of everything else going on. Would Gabriel try to talk to him? Would he tell Keenan about what Shad was doing? He’d said he would if Shad didn’t do it himself, but Shad didn’t think he had, not yet anyway.

  “Shad? Do you know what’s up with Keenan?”

  Shad swallowed. “That was Gabriel.”

  Isaiah’s eyebrows shot up. “Gabriel? As in Gabriel Landreth?”

  “Yes.”

  “God, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him, and he’s been living in the house since what? April? May? I didn’t even know he was still here!”

  “Yeah, well, he is. He just comes out only at night, or very early in the morning.”

  “How do you know that?”

  Shad’s eyes widened and he shook his head. Isaiah didn’t know about Shad and Gabriel being mates. Shad didn’t think anyone knew, except probably for Keenan, but that wasn’t surprising.

  “Shad? Did something happen with Gabriel? Did he hurt you?”

  A growl came from the hallway, then Keenan’s voice as he tried to hush Gabriel. Shad’s mate obviously didn’t like what Isaiah was implying, and Shad didn’t blame him. They might not be in a clearly defined relationship at the moment, but Shad didn’t want anyone to think Gabriel was hurting him.

  “No, no. He didn’t hurt me.”

  “Then what’s wrong? Don’t think I didn’t notice you’ve been moping for months.” Isaiah frowned. “Actually, now that I think about it, it’s been ever since Gabriel arrived here.”

  Shad jumped from his chair and ran to the doors that led outside the house. He heard Isaiah call him, yell for him, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t give Isaiah explanations for anything, and he couldn’t face Gabriel, not yet. The safest thing to do was to run.

  Shad chucked his clothes as fast as he could and shifted. The sugar glider’s fur helped a bit with the cold, but it wasn’t enough, and Shad knew he’d have to get back in soon if he didn’t want to freeze.

  He climbed up the porch roof just like he’d done the week before, but instead of continuing higher until he reached Gabriel’s attic, he stayed on the first floor and scuttled to his brother’s room. Darin was sure to be up, if not already gone to work.

  Shad’s twin was opening his own bakery. It was almost ready, but he was still working for the bakery that had hired him when he’d first looked for work in Whitedell.

  Shad pressed his furry face against the cold glass and peeked inside. He couldn’t see Darin anywhere, but he still scratched his nails against the window, since the light was on in the room.

  It took Darin a few minutes to hear him, and Shad squeaked when his brother’s head appeared at the bathroom door. Darin frowned at the window and hurried to it, uncaring of the fact that he was shirtless, and opened to let Shad in.

  “What are you doing out there in the cold?”

  Shad didn’t shift back. He climbed on Darin’s bed instead and buried himself in the still warm blanket, basking in his brother’s familiar scent.

  Darin chuckled. “So it’s like this, huh? Not even a hello?”

  Shad squeaked in answer but didn’t come out. He felt Darin pat the small mound of blankets above him. “You can stay here and sleep, Shad. I’m going to work, though.”

  Shad settled in his cocoon and fell asleep to the sounds of his twin getting ready for work.

  * * * *

  Gabriel realized it was almost six AM only when he finally managed to take the picture just right. He’d been working on it for hours, but the snow was a tricky thing to work with, and the darkness obviously didn’t help.

  But when he checked his last photographs, he was satisfied. The mansion seemed to appear from out of nowhere, white with snow and illuminated by only a few lights. It was perfect. It was perfect, but Keenan was waiting for him to have breakfast, and Gabriel was late.

  He put his camera away and hurried back to the house. He paused on the porch and peeked in, but Keenan wasn’t alone in the kitchen. Gabriel supposed he could go in as he was, but he really wanted to get warm first, so he walked around the house and used another entrance.

  He stomped his boots to get rid of the snow and took them off, then went to the attic. He put his boots in the tub and quickly stripped to shower. He was lucky enough to have both a stall and a tub—the attic was big enough to allow both. And Dominic had given Gabriel carte blanche to do whatever he wanted with the space. It hadn’t been easy, but with some help from Joshua, they’d made it, and now Gabriel loved his attic.

  He walked out of the shower and dried himself, then wrapped his tail around his waist and dressed. He stabbed himself with a claw as he pulled his pants up and swore. Gabriel was used to doing stuff with the claws poking from his fingers, but sometimes he still had accidents, especially when he forgot to file them. It was easy to forget about the tail, the claws, and the ears when he wasn’t looking in a mirror. The easiest way he could do it was to lose himself in his photography, like he’d done earlier.

  Gabriel finished dressing, stuck a beanie over his head even if his ears made it uncomfortable, and went to look for Keenan.

  He knew Shad was in the kitchen even without looking in. Gabriel wanted to go to his mate and talk to him, but he knew Shad wouldn’t appreciate it, not after the way their last conversation had ended.

  So Gabriel stayed outside, in the hallway. “Keenan?”

  There was some rustling and Gabriel heard Keenan ask, “Oh my God, what time is it?”

  I
saiah answered. “Uh, six AM, why?”

  Keenan appeared at the kitchen door. “Hey. You’re late.”

  Gabriel smiled lazily. “I know, sorry. I was outside taking pictures.”

  “I could’ve guessed that. Are you going to come in and have breakfast with us?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  Keenan crossed his arms on his chest. “Why not? Is it still because of your appearance?”

  “Not really.”

  “Because neither me nor Isaiah will say anything about it, you know that.”

  “You forget to mention Shad.”

  “No, I didn’t mention him on purpose. I was kind of hoping you’d come in and finally talk, maybe make out a bit.”

  Gabriel arched a brow. “Do you think about me and Shad making out often?”

  “Ah, no, but you should try anyway.”

  “I know. We... we actually did make out a week ago.”

  Keenan squealed and Gabriel pressed a hand on the other man’s mouth. “Quiet.”

  “But you just told me you kissed Shad,” Keenan whispered loudly.

  “I’m also telling you that he was the one to push me away and to say he couldn’t do it. I don’t want to push him. He knows where to find me when he decides he’s ready.”

  Gabriel didn’t mention anything about Glass or the meds Shad needed. The only person who needed to know that was Dominic.

  Gabriel heard Isaiah’s voice rise a bit inside the kitchen. “Shad? Did something happen with Gabriel? Did he hurt you?”

  Gabriel growled. He’d never hurt his mate, not even if Shad decided he didn’t want anything to do with Gabriel. How could anyone think that of him?

  “He doesn’t know you,” Keenan said soothingly.

  Gabriel sighed. “I know.”

  “But he could.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’m working up to it.”

  “Shad!” Isaiah yelled from inside the kitchen. Gabriel heard running footsteps and knew his mate had fled. He wasn’t all that surprised, but he wouldn’t let Shad run for much longer. It wasn’t doing any good.

  “Are you coming inside?” Keenan asked.

  “Maybe.”

  “Okay. Well, I’ll be in if you decide to come.”

  Keenan disappeared and Gabriel heard him talk with Isaiah. He heard Keenan confirm Gabriel and Shad were mates and he snorted when Keenan called them both stubborn assholes.

  “Uh, Gabriel? I’m Isaiah.”

  Gabriel was kind of surprised that anyone would reach out to him after he’d isolated himself, but he wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass. “Hi.”

  “Why don’t you come in here? There’s still some breakfast.”

  “No, thanks. I’m going back upstairs.”

  Gabriel smiled as he walked away. He was still hungry, but he was restless. He needed to do something, but he didn’t know what. He was hurrying toward the attic when he turned a corner and bumped against someone.

  Gabriel reached out instinctively and grabbed the man before he could fall. He tensed when he looked down to see Shad gaping at him.

  “Oh. My. God.”

  “Darin.”

  Gabriel let go of his mate’s twin and made to go away, but a hand on the arm stopped him. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just surprised. Don’t... please stay. I need to talk to you.”

  Gabriel stopped but didn’t turn around. “What can I do for you?”

  “Look, I know about you and Shad. He told me when he realized, you know, that you two are mates.”

  “And?”

  “And I’m sure you noticed there’s something wrong with him.”

  Gabriel slowly turned around, his focus on Darin’s face. He might have decided it was time to start getting out of the attic and talk with people, but he wanted to know just how Darin would react to him.

  Darin’s eyes were a little big, but that was all. No disgust or pity showed on his face, and Gabriel was glad. It would’ve been weird seeing it on that face, even if he knew it wasn’t Shad.

  “I noticed, yes.”

  “Do you know something? I know he’s sick, even if he denies it, and he doesn’t want to see the doc. He won’t tell me what’s wrong with him, and he usually tells me everything.”

  Gabriel knew it wasn’t true, but it wasn’t his place to tell Darin. “I do know something, yes, but I promised him I wouldn’t tell anyone, at least for a while.”

  Darin’s expression shifted to pleading. “Please, tell me. Or Jared, or Adrian if you’re more comfortable. I feel like I’m about to lose him if I don’t do something.”

  “I... I don’t want to betray his trust, but I’ll ask him, okay? I’ll ask him, see what he says, and if he doesn’t want to tell you himself, I’ll do it.”

  Relief flooded Darin’s face. “Thank you. Oh, I’m going to be late. If you’re looking for Shad, he’s on my bed, in his shifted form. You can go in my room, just... no funny stuff on my bed, okay?”

  Gabriel chuckled. “Funny stuff?”

  “Yeah, you know. No hanky-panky.”

  Gabriel laughed. “Hanky-panky? We’re definitely not there yet.”

  Darin shrugged. “You never know. But you can go in and stay with him if you want. I won’t be back until at least five PM, so you have all the time you need to talk to him.”

  “I think I’ll take you up on that.”

  Darin hesitated but patted Gabriel’s arm. “I know we’ve never talked or whatever, but you’re my brother’s mate. I’d like to get to know you better, and I don’t care about...” He gestured at Gabriel’s face.

  “I’m working on coming out of my self-imposed isolation, so thanks. I’ll take you up on that, when this is over.”

  “You do that.”

  Darin walked away and Gabriel watched him go. He moved only when Darin was gone. He didn’t go back to his room but to Darin’s instead. He knocked on the door just in case, but Darin had said Shad was in his sugar glider form, so he didn’t expect an answer. He opened the door and walked in.

  He smiled at the bundle of blankets on the bed. The only part of Shad he could see was his nose, and he was clearly asleep. Gabriel didn’t want to wake him, so he slid under the blanket as well as he could and curled around his mate. Hopefully Shad wouldn’t be angry when he woke.

  Chapter Three

  Shad woke slowly, still surrounded by his brother’s scent. His body hurt less in his sugar glider form, and it had helped him to sleep better.

  He poked his nose from under the blanket and hit a hard wall of flesh. Two hands slipped under Shad’s bundle of blankets and grabbed him gently. He had a strong sense of déjà vu that got even stronger when he realized that the man handling him was Gabriel.

  Shad huffed and squeaked and Gabriel chuckled. He rolled on his back and placed Shad on his stomach, his hands never leaving Shad’s small body. Shad tried to get free, but it was impossible.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  Shad answered with a squeak

  Gabriel laughed. “Look, I’ll let you go, but you have to promise you’ll listen to me instead of running away like I’m sure you’re trying to do.”

  Shad tried to give Gabriel his best frown, but he wasn’t sure it was effective in his shifted form. Sugar gliders were just too cute to be intimidating. He gave Gabriel one nod and his mate moved his hands away.

  Shad jumped down from Gabriel’s stomach and buried under the blankets again. He’d already shifted once in front of Gabriel and he didn’t particularly want to do it again. Oh, he wanted to get naked with Gabriel, but now wasn’t exactly the best moment to do it.

  Shad shifted and did his best to hide all the hide-able under the covers. He pushed the blanket away from his face and sat facing Gabriel, who was now sitting with his legs crossed.

  “We have to stop meeting like this,” Gabriel said.

  “This time wasn’t my fault.”

  “I’ll admit that, a
nd although I have nothing against your lack of clothes I’m guessing you might be more comfortable wearing some. Do you want to go and dress?”

  Shad was thankful Gabriel had thought about it. He’d bet the conversation they were about to have was too serious to have it in his birthday suit. “I’ll borrow something from Darin.”

  Shad dragged the sheet out of the tangle on the bed and wrapped it around his body. He made a mental note to change the sheets before Darin came back from work and opened the dresser, quickly choosing a pair of jeans, a sweater, socks, and a pair of underwear.

  Shad didn’t look toward the bed before slipping into the bathroom. Once the sheet hit the floor he hesitated.

  “Ah, who cares? He can wait another handful of minutes.”

  He turned the water on in the shower and quickly washed. He was dressed and closing the bathroom door behind himself only ten minutes later, his hair still damp and feeling better. The pain was manageable today, but it was only eight AM. It could change, and Shad didn’t doubt it would.

  “So, what did you want to talk about?”

  “Why don’t you come and sit?” Gabriel replied.

  “Nope. You’d try to distract me.”

  “I’d try to distract you? How?”

  Shad still remembered the kiss they’d shared as if it had happened only minutes before. He knew Gabriel could distract him easily if he decided he wanted to, and Shad didn’t want to risk that.

  He sat in the chair standing in a corner of the room instead. He moved it enough so that it faced Gabriel then twined his fingers together and waited.

  “Are you ready to tell Dominic about whatever’s going on with you?”

  “Wow, talk about going straight for the kill.”

  Gabriel gestured. “I see no point in skirting the issue, especially since we both knew what I was going to ask.”

  “I didn’t, not for sure anyway.”

  “Stop trying to distract me and answer, Shad.” Gabriel’s voice was serious, and Shad realized he didn’t really have a choice. Gabriel would tell Dominic if he didn’t, just like he’d said he would. He’d given Shad time to think about it, but Shad hadn’t come to a conclusion. It was too hard, and he couldn’t see past what could happen if he did.