The complete scars series: Books one-four

by Tonks, Rachael

  “Because he wants her for himself, Brax.”

  “The fuck…?”

  “You heard me, man. She has to stay away, for her own good.”

  “Nate, that’s fucked up.”

  “Yeah, and Dad held a knife to my motherfucking balls when he found out about us. He’s had his eye on her for so long, that as soon as Carter was out of the picture, he was going to make her one of his whores. No fucking way,” I say, taking a huge drag of my cigarette, slowly blowing out a controlled breath. My free hand grips the side of the couch and I feel my nails digging into the leather as I struggle to contain my rage over the whole fucked-up situation.

  “Jesus,” he sighs, running his hand through his messy brown hair. “Jeffries does realize that Tara is under my protection? That girl is as good as family.”

  Sighing heavily, I step up from the couch, walking over to the open shutter and flicking my cigarette to the ground. “He knows,” I say, slowly nodding my head. “Which is why I kept this to myself. Involving you, after everything you and Izzy had been through, just didn’t seem right. Pushing her away to keep her safe just made sense, I guess.”

  “I should speak to him.” He walks, flicking his cigarette outside, making his way back over to me. His eyes are dark, the look of anger in them unmistakable, and I can’t deny that there is something I admire about this guy. He looks scary as fuck and has proven time and time again that what you love is worth fighting for. Yet, I can’t seem to find the same strength. I can’t fight against years of being in the MC, or against my father. And above all else, sacrificing the love I have for her seems worth it to keep her safe.

  “Look, I know you’re angry, fuck, I’m furious, but you can’t say anything.” Standing with my arms folded, I look him in the eye. “I mean it.”

  “But you two… listen; I think you forget I was there when the two of you met. That I saw that connection. I’ve watched you two sneaking around for months…”

  I interrupt him mid-sentence. “It’s over.”

  Snickering, he shakes his head, his eyes still hard on me. “You don’t really believe that.”

  “It’s the way it has to be,” I say with finality.

  He narrows his eyes on me, his brows drawn together. “You’re giving up on her that easily, huh? She clearly didn’t mean that much to you to start with.”

  “Fuck you,” I spit back, anger lacing my tone. “You know nothing about what I think or how I feel.”

  “I know that if you had any sort of feelings for her, you’d fight. You’d fight with every ounce of strength you have to make sure the two of you are together.”

  “Whoa,” I say dramatically, chuckling nervously as I hold up my hand. “That’s some deep shit you’re spouting.”

  Slapping my back with a thud, Brax moves closer. “Admitting you have feelings for her isn’t deep, it’s honest. I know that conventional ‘boy meets girl’ hasn’t exactly been the norm around here, but it’s okay to feel that way.”

  “Yeah,” I chuckle. “There ain’t a lot of love flying around these parts.”

  Even though I laugh about it, there’s a lot about this place I hate. The way my dad gets inside my head. How he makes me feel worthless even though I’m now his only son. For as loyal as we are, I’ve always felt like an outsider. I thought that would change when Harlan left, but nothing changed. Not really. My mother was just another whore. My dad reminds me of this all the time. I don’t remember her, not at all. My only memories have always been of Dad and this place. I’d like to say he raised me, but I’m pretty sure I raised myself. There have always been kids running around our clubhouse. Some stay, but most leave. I’ve taught myself not to get too attached, because I could never bear the pain of yet another friend leaving.

  “Listen.” His deep voice interrupts the memories racing through my mind. “I’m gonna head to the office. But you call me should you need anything, got it?”

  “Sure, but you know I have to step back from business for now. My father's orders since he knows how involved you are with Tara,” I reply, offering my hand to him. He takes it, but pulls me in, patting me lightly on the back.

  “Fucked up, man.” He blows out an exaggerated breath.

  “Not my call,” I say holding up my hands in surrender.

  “I mean what I said, man. You call if you need anything.” His tone is low, and his head is dipped as he pulls back, trying to meet my eye.

  “I know,” I quickly respond, never once looking him in the eye. I can’t bear it. Dealing with the way I feel inside is one thing, but talking about it and shit is alien to me. I hear his footsteps as he makes his way out. Inhaling deeply, I try to push out all thoughts of Tara. I skulk back over to my desk and drop into the seat. Leaning back, I swing from side to side in the chair, my head resting back as I try to lift the stiffness in my neck. There’s no denying I feel like shit over all of this, but I can’t dwell. There’s nothing I can do to get her back, because that would mean endangering her and that’s never fucking happening. Sacrificing my happiness to keep her safe is a no-brainer, even if it’s tearing me up inside.

  Tara

  Making my way to the office located downtown, I can’t help but feel nervous about seeing Brax. I know he’s seen Nate, and I know he knows more than he’s letting on.

  Pressing my hand against the door, I push it open. The security guy is sitting in his usual chair, sipping on his coffee.

  “Hey, Griff.” I plaster a smile on my face and make sure I sound upbeat.

  “Good morning, Miss Mellano,” he greets me with a polite smile and the faintest nod of his head.

  Pausing for a second, I turn and point. “Is he in?” I ask lifting my brows a little.

  “Of course, ma’am. He arrived ten minutes ago.”

  “Great,” I reply, clapping my hands together and heading for the stairwell. Braxton’s empire is run from this office. It’s attached to one of his many bars, the offices located on the first floor. Taking two steps at a time, I race upstairs. Opening the door into the office, I make a mental note to smile, because a smile hides a thousand feelings, right?

  “Hey,” I sing as I walk in and make my way over to the desk. Glancing around the room I see Izzy sitting on Brax’s knee, her arms strewn around his neck.

  “Oh, hey, Tara,” she replies. I watch as she jumps down from Brax’s lap, making her way over to me. Izzy wraps her arms around me, hugging me gently. “Shall I get us some coffee?” she offers with a tilt of her head and the cutest of smiles.

  “Coffee would be good,” Brax chirps, looking at us with his feet resting on the table. She looks over her shoulder at him, glaring a little.

  “Don’t you have a meeting to attend?” Her eyes widen, and a lazy smile spreads across his face.

  “Sure.” He lifts and drops his shoulders. “But coffee first, yeah?”

  With a growl of frustration, she rolls her eyes before making her way out of the office.

  “So, how are you?” Brax asks, dropping his legs from the desk and standing up from his seat. I can’t help but let out a huge sigh, my hands resting on my hips.

  “Honestly? I’m trying to be okay with it, but I’m hurting.”

  “If it helps, he’s not doing so good either.”

  “Really?”

  “Talk to him, Tara. You’re both fucking miserable without each other, and honestly, I can’t deal with this shit.”

  Narrowing my eyes on him, I ask, “He made it very clear to me that it was over. Talking to him would be pointless.”

  “What he wants and what he says are two completely different things. Believe me.”

  Dropping down into my seat with a thud, I lean forward, holding my head in my hand. “He knows where I am if he wants me.” My words are nothing more than a mumble and I instantly straighten my posture, brushing down the front of my blouse. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got work to do.” I give him the side-eye as I use my hand to push him from my desk.

  “Oh God
, not you too? You deserve each other, pair of stubborn asses.”

  “It’s my stubborn ass that keeps your staff in check.”

  “I guess,” he says as he walks back over to his desk. I glare at him, giving him an unspoken warning. Turning, I grab a handful of files from the cabinet. Each business that Brax has control over has its own file. It’s my job to liaise with the management and make sure everyone is doing their job. I put it down to my great people skills and my persuasiveness. But, whatever it is, it works well.

  “So, how’s the new manager doing at Suite 102?” Brax calls over as he slides back into his seat.

  “I have an appointment with him today at noon.” The last guy that worked there was taking money from the business and was fired, or at least that’s what I was told.

  “Any problems or concerns and I will pay him a visit.”

  “He’s a good guy, it will be fine,” I dismiss him, hoping he will back off and let me handle this. “Just let me do my job, okay?”

  “Okay, okay,” he repeats, his eyes wide and his head ducking behind his computer screen. “Jeez,” he whispers. The door flies open and Izzy walks in, holding three mugs of coffee in her hands. I jump up to help her, taking mine and slamming Brax’s down on his desk. He jerks in surprise, glaring at me. “I’m taking my drink into the back room.” He grabs the mug, sipping on it loudly. “Send Silver up when he gets here.”

  “What?” I gasp, a little surprised that Brax has a meeting with the Savages that I knew nothing about. “No Nate?” And there it goes. His name falls from my mouth as I can’t fight the curiosity.

  “I saw him earlier. Let’s just say he’s otherwise engaged.”

  He’s otherwise engaged? “What do you mean?” I ask, annoyance lacing my tone. “If you have something to tell me, Brax, just go ahead and spit it out.” My heart hammers in my chest as a thousand thoughts blur through my mind.

  “It’s not my place to say. All I know is that Nate has stepped back from Savage business for the time being.”

  “Really?” I say in a huff, crossing my arms and sighing heavily. “That’s how it’s going to be?” My voice is wavering and has become louder than I’d intended. But I can’t help it. The anger bubbles so intensely deep in my gut.

  “Why are you so angry at me?” He stands in front of me. “I’m just caught in the middle.”

  “Because you’re keeping secrets from me. I know you know more than you’re letting on, and honestly, that stings like a bitch, Brax. I’ve been nothing but loyal to you. Hell, I put my life on the line for you two.” I point between them, tears stinging my eyes. I’ll be damned if I let them break the seal and fall over my face.

  “Babe.” Izzy steps between me and Brax, placing her hand gently on my arm. “It’s so hard to see you hurting, and despite you trying to hide it, I know it's cut deep. But we’re stuck in the crossfire.”

  “Exactly,” Brax chimes in. “If I repeat what he’s told me, he’s gonna be pissed. If I don’t tell you, you’re pissed at me. It’s a no-win situation.”

  “Fine,” I dismiss quickly, taking a step back. If they won’t tell me what’s going on, I’ll go to the source. It’s about time I got some honest answers.

  * * *

  I sit at the desk in Suite 102. This particular bar is one of my favorites, and as I look through the books, I’m pleasantly surprised. I take a glance at the handsome man staring at me from across the table. I feel my face flush as he grins a little, exposing his bright white teeth. There’s no denying this guy is hot, but he's not my type, with his strong jaw and bright green eyes. He doesn’t have a single hair out of place. He’s way too perfect.

  “I think you’ll agree that we’ve had a great first week,” Justin says cheerfully. Closing the book, I place it down on the table in front. Leaning forward, I rest my elbows against the dark wooden desk. “I’m happy with everything I’ve seen so far.”

  “Glad to hear it.” He smiles and I continue studying his face.

  “And there are no other issues to report? Because I’m here to help and support you in running this place successfully. If there is a problem, I need to know.”

  “Nothing. The staff have been really friendly and made my first week a good one. It’s a good setup here.”

  “I agree, and the atmosphere is great here. This is one of my favorite joints.” I carefully push back the chair, step up and offer him my hand. He takes it, shaking and looking at me like he wants to devour me. I pull my hand back from his hold, reaching inside my jacket pocket and drop my business card on the table. Pressing my long, manicured nail on the small card, I guide it toward him. “You have my number. Call me if you need anything at all.” I see a sudden flicker of something in his eyes. He reaches for the card, holding it in his hand and tapping it against his palm.

  “Sure will.” He smiles, pushing it inside his pocket on the front of his suit jacket. Leading me to the door, I shake his hand and say a final goodbye. Making my way the short distance to my car, my thoughts are dominated with all things Nate. I can’t get what Brax said out of my head, and part of me feels like I need answers. Knowing the truth will help me draw a line under it and move on. I press the key fob, unlocking the door and drop inside the driver’s seat with a thud. Dropping my briefcase and purse on the passenger seat, I rest my head back, releasing a huge, pent-up breath. Tapping my hand against the top of my thigh, I try to work out what to do. Lifting my head, I grab my keys and start the engine.

  I deserve answers—the truth—after everything we have been through. Without a second's thought, I set off on my way to the Savage clubhouse.

  After about thirty minutes, I arrive at the one place Nate made me swear I would never venture. But this is different. I have to see him.

  Driving slowly, I pull up outside the front of the huge house. My eyes scan the less than appealing exterior, my hands shaking as I know I have to go knock on the door. Dealing with these guys at work almost daily never fazed me. But being here, on their territory, scares the life out of me. Shit, this was a bad idea. Craning my neck, I look out of the windshield, over to the garage which appears to be open. Reaching for the handle, I open the door, grab my purse, and make my way over to the opened door. Music blares and I approach slowly. Coming to a complete standstill, I look inside to see Nate hunched over his desk, sketching and working on something. I can’t help but watch him for a few seconds. His forearm muscle is tense and his head cocked to the side as he grips the pencil, sketching away. I almost feel bad for interrupting him. Making a fist, I peer around the wall, and knock lightly against it. He snaps his head in my direction; his eyes bug out the second they land on me. The look of anger in his gaze is all I see, and I can’t stop my feet from shuffling backward. Dropping my eyes, I turn and start to pick up the pace. Running back to my car, I fiddle with the keys, trying to locate the fob.

  “Tara,” he growls, his voice hoarse and low. Grabbing my elbow, he spins me on the spot, forcing my back against the car. His eyes are on my lips, his free hand snaking behind my neck as he squeezes gently. “You shouldn’t be here,” he mumbles, his gaze flickering between my mouth and my eyes. My heart hammers in my chest and I can’t help but lean back into his touch. The one I’ve craved and missed so much.

  “I came for answers.” I force out the words through my nervousness. He narrows his blue eyes on me, his eyebrows arched in question.

  “I told you never to come here. I warned you.” His jaw is clenched so tightly it causes the veins in his neck to protrude.

  “You don’t answer my calls.” I reach up, placing my trembling hand against his cheek. “I miss you,” I blurt out, suddenly feeling vulnerable that I laid my cards on the table so early on.

  “Fuck,” his blue gaze now drops to the floor as he steps back from me, pain etched on his face. “I have no choice. My father forbids this.” His finger flicks between us and he shuffles his feet against the dirt beneath it.

  “This… this doesn’t have to end between
us because of your father,” I rush out, stepping closer to him once more. “We can keep this a secret. We can be together like we have for the past God knows how many months.”

  “No,” he exclaims, scraping his hands down his face, a look of despair in his steely blue eyes. “He will find out. He has cocksuckers reporting to him from all over. We can’t. We just can’t.”

  “Please,” I beg, stepping into his arms. “I know you want me.” Lifting onto my tiptoes, I place my lips against his, the thick stubble harsh against my skin. His familiar smell invades my senses, and within a millisecond, he’s kissing me back. He fingers work into my hair, grasping a handful as he tugs me closer. My body presses against his, and I start to melt into him, his kiss feels like no other. Sensual, full of meaning…

  “No,” he groans, thrusting me away and staggering back. The back of his hand swipes across his mouth. “We can’t do this.”

  “But you want to?” I take a tiny step back toward him, and his head lifts, his eyes connecting with mine. “Why are you fighting this?”

  A guttural moan comes from deep in his throat. He turns on his heel and charges back to the garage. Letting out a growl of frustration, I storm after him. Stopping at the entrance to the garage, I glare at him. His palm is flat against the white wall as he leans against it, his chest heaving as he breathes heavily.

  “You can’t run away from me, Nate. You need to face up to what is happening between us. Listen, I have no idea why you called it off, but saying you don’t want me is a lie, isn’t it?” I move inside the garage, small steps until I’m resting against the black couch just behind where he’s standing.

  “Do you know how much it's fucking killing me having you so close, yet knowing I can’t fucking touch you?” Hitting his clenched fist against the wall, he spins to face me.

  “It doesn’t have to be this way,” I whisper, my head swimming with confusion. “What happened? What changed between us?”

  “It’s not…”