The complete scars series: Books one-four

by Tonks, Rachael

I raise my voice, cutting him off. “Don’t you dare.” I hold a wavering finger, pointing at him. “Don’t give me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ bullshit. Just don’t. Be honest with me, Nate, ’cause this,” I flick my hand between us, “this is killing me inside.” I press my palm flat against my hammering heart, tapping gently.

  “Please don’t,” he pleads, his eyes clenched shut, his head shaking from side to side. I tense at the sight of this beautiful man in pain.

  “Nate, I need you to tell me what is going on here. I’m not giving up on us, even if you have.” But he says nothing. Standing in front of me, his fingers pressed against his forehead, his eyes remain shut.

  The longer he stands there in silence, the more the pain seizes my chest.

  “Please…” I choke out, unable to finish my sentence. Reaching my hand forward, I brush the top of his arm. “Please, Nate. Hold me. Make me feel better.”

  “I can’t,” he murmurs. “I can’t do this.”

  My body starts to tremble, the fear of losing him spirals out of control. My breathing is erratic and I feel like I have to do something. Anything to make him realize that this isn’t what he really wants. Dipping my head, I place my hand under his chin, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want me, Nate. Because I call bullshit.”

  “The way you feel now won’t last forever. You’ll find someone else.”

  “You… you don’t mean that?”

  Snapping his head from my hand, he puts space between us, turning and walking over to his desk. “You should leave now,” his monotone voice instructs me.

  I stare at him, feeling completely lost and confused about what is happening. How could things have changed so drastically?

  “This has something to do with your father, doesn’t it?”

  “Yes,” he roars, spinning in his seat, leaning forward on his knees. “This has everything to do with my father. You and me, well let’s just say, we were a bad idea. It was never going to work.”

  “It works.” I slam my hand down against the couch. “It’s worked perfectly between the two of us for months.” I suck in a shuddering breath, holding back the tears that are trying to break the seal.

  “Sneaking around, fucking each other isn’t working, Tara. It’s called having fun. Safe to say, fun time is over.”

  “Fuck you, Nate. It was way more than that and you know it.” I swallow down the lump of emotion that has formed in my throat. My head’s a wreck. How could he say these things?

  Wrinkling his nose, he looks me dead in the eye. “Not for me, sweetheart. You must’ve mistaken me with some other asshole you fucked.” I freeze at the feeling that recoils inside my stomach.

  “How. Dare You,” I grate out, storming toward him. Drawing my hand back, I can’t help the anger that spirals out of control as the palm of my hand connects with the side of his face. He doesn’t react, his eyes expressionless. Shaking my hand, I try to ease the stinging feeling as I slowly step backward. My heart sinks and I just have to get out of here. A few more steps and I’m out of the garage. Without another glance, I turn and race toward my car, fumbling with my keys to get inside. By now the tears are hurtling down my face and my flight reflex is on overload.

  “Dammit,” I growl, kicking the tire on the damn car I can’t seem to get unlocked. Finally, I manage to press the right button on the key fob, yanking the door open and falling into the driver’s seat. I have to get out of here. This was a mistake. Turning the key, I don’t stop to buckle up. I turn, racing out of the driveway.

  Driving as if on autopilot, I make my way back to the office, pulling up in my regular parking space. I sit there, my shaking hands grasping the steering wheel. Despite the nasty bite to his words, I can’t help but believe that he doesn’t mean it. Even now, I still want him in my life, because without him, I feel lost. There is something missing, and he’s the only one that can fill the damn void.

  A loud, unexpected knock on the window causes me to jerk in surprise. I clutch my hand to my racing heart, willing it to steady.

  “Dammit, Izzy,” I grumble, lowering down the window.

  “What are you doing out here? You’ve been gone a long time. I was getting worried.” Her eyes hone in on my tear-stained cheeks and her forehead crinkles as she offers me a sad smile. “Honey, what’s wrong?”

  Pulling my lips between my teeth, I will the tears to stay at bay. Before I can answer her, she’s racing around to the passenger side of the car, opening the door and sitting beside me. “Hey,” she soothes, grazing her hand on my arm. Frowning, her eyes are narrowed on me. “What’s going on?”

  The tears are in full flow, my breathing all over the place. I try to speak through my tears, but I can barely string two words together.

  “It’s okay.” She circles her arms around me, pulling me closer to her. “I’m here, shhh…”

  “I went to see him,” I sniffle. “Big fucking mistake.”

  “What did he say? Did he offer you some kind of explanation?”

  “No.” I take in an unsteady breath. “Just made out like there was nothing between us, but I don’t believe him, Iz. Something about this just doesn’t seem right.”

  “Give him time. Time to realize what he’s really lost.”

  “This has something to do with his father, I just know it has.”

  “Sure. You know he’s forbidden this thing between you two, right?” She looks at me with narrowed eyes.

  “Yes,” I snap a little more than intended. “That’s the excuse I’m getting, but I can’t believe that would be enough for us to lose what we had together. I finally thought I’d met the ‘one.’ How could his father having a problem with us, suddenly mean that he no longer wants me?”

  “I don’t understand it, Tara. But I can imagine how you’re hurting. Like I said, give him some time. Maybe he’s getting a lot of pressure from home. This can’t be easy for him, being caught between what he wants and what his family will allow.”

  “Shit,” I groan, slamming my head against the seat behind me as I realize just how fucked up things are between us. “Why can’t he just be honest with me? Tell me what is going on?”

  “It’s that little thing called stupid male pride.”

  Closing my eyes, I can’t help but feel utterly broken. “I want to be worth fighting for. Is that too much to ask?”

  Izzy clasps her hands over mine.

  “You are. Don’t ever think that what’s happening here is a reflection on you. You are so worth fighting for, believe me. And if Nate doesn’t see that, then he’s a fool.”

  “I feel like I’ve lost everything, Izzy.” I lift my head to look at her, tears blurring my vision. “My best friend, my lover, the one person my whole life has revolved around for months now. I finally thought I’d met a good one. A keeper. Someone that makes my heart full and beat faster than it ever has. How can something that special just end?” I sniffle, the tears pour across my face. Izzy leans into me, pulling me into her arms.

  After a few seconds, I give myself a mental slap across the face, pulling away from Izzy’s hold. “I’m okay, I’m okay,” I repeat, adjusting my posture and swiping my hands across my face, clearing any sign of fallen tears. “We should get back inside. I’ve got work to do.”

  “You don’t have to do this,” Izzy says, offering me a sad smile.

  “Do what?”

  “Act like there’s nothing wrong. No one expects you to be okay.”

  “But I have to be. What other options do I have?” I don’t wait for her to answer. I grab my briefcase and my purse, throwing the door open and stepping out. Glancing back to her, she remains seated, her mouth slack-jawed and her eyes wide.

  “Are you coming?” I ask her, throwing my arms in the air for a second.

  “Sure.” She flashes me an unsure smile as she leaps out of the car, slamming the door shut and rushing toward me. Locking the car, I walk towards the building in which we work, my heels clicking loudly again
st the sidewalk.

  “Wait,” Izzy calls. “What’s the hurry?”

  “No hurry,” I shout back over my shoulder.

  “Tara,” she yells. “Stop.”

  But I ignore her and continue to steam toward the building now in sight. A few more steps and my hand connects with the door, causing it to fly open. Making my way through the entrance, I ignore the voice that calls to me. Head down and feet moving fast, I’m not exactly focused on where I’m going. The next thing I know, I’m halted to a stop, my body connecting with someone else's. Lifting my head, I see the weathered face of the craziest Savage.

  Silver. The vice president.

  “Hey, pretty thing. What’s the rush?”

  “Get out of the way,” I order, ignoring his question. I narrow my eyes in warning, but he doesn’t move. Crossing his arms over his chest, a smirk dresses his lips. I place my hand on his folded arms, trying to get the stupid mountain of a man to move.

  “Did you hear me, asshole? I said move!”

  “Oh, I heard you alright. Only, this asshole doesn’t take his orders from whores who are nothing more than Savage fuck bunnies.”

  “Lucky Brax didn’t hear that.” I cock a brow, smiling widely at the jerk standing in front of me.

  “You plan on hiding behind him forever, huh? Only, I didn’t like Carter much and I’m not sure about you either.” His nostrils flare and his eyes scrape over me as he scowls at me with a look of disgust.

  “I don’t hide behind anyone.” I glare at him before sidestepping, trying to get past him. Only he holds out his arm, blocking me from stepping any further.

  “What’s going on here?” Izzy’s voice calls from behind me and Silver is quick to snap his hand away.

  “This asshole won’t let me pass,” I quickly shout over my shoulder and Izzy’s footsteps approach me from behind.

  “Silver,” she asks in a questioning tone. “What’s the problem here?”

  Holding his hands up in mock surrender, he lifts his shoulders. “I was just trying to be friendly,” he says, darting out his tongue and swiping it across his lips. His bright blue eyes twinkle and I rush past him, watching as she taps him playfully on the arm.

  “Get out of here,” she laughs before following me up the stairs.

  “What is that guy’s problem?” I grate out, pushing the door, causing it to fly open.

  “Hey!” Brax shouts at me, staggering back, coffee cup in hand. “You nearly burned me.”

  Glancing at him, I can’t help but stifle a laugh as he glares at me. “Why are you behind the damn door?”

  “Me?” he gasps. “Why are you charging in here like that?”

  “Don’t,” I yell at him. “That asshole Silver just called me a goddamn whore.”

  “What the fuck… why?” he asks with a gasp, dropping his mug on his desk and walking toward me. “Are you okay? What happened?” His eyes are hard on me and I can tell he’s angry. Slamming my briefcase and purse onto the desk, I turn to face him.

  “It was nothing, honest. And I’m sorry I spilled your drink.”

  “I don’t give a fuck about the drink, I want to know why that cocksucker has upset you.”

  “It’s fine—”

  “Stop saying it's fine,” he cuts me off, making his way to the drawer located in his desk. Pulling out a gun, he pushes it into the band on his pants.

  “Stop, Brax,” I yell as he walks toward the door, only to stagger back as Izzy opens it, smiling as she peers through the gap.

  “Did you see him?” he asks Izzy, her face contorted with a look of confusion.

  “Who? Silver?”

  “Yes,” Brax replies pushing one hand through his hair, while the other grips the handle of the gun. “Cocksucker called Tara a whore. I should put a fucking bullet in that twisted little head of his.”

  “Guys, stop,” I cry, dropping into my seat. “I don’t want this. Not any of this. I’m quite capable of fighting my own battles.”

  “No, Tara. You work for me. You’re under my protection. Silver should be questioned for his actions. I ain’t letting him speak to you like that.”

  “Look, I’m not talking about this anymore. I called him an asshole, he called me a whore. I guess you could say we are even.”

  “Okay,” he says, letting out a huge breath. “I’ll let it lie, but the next time I see him, I’m calling him out on it. Cocksucker needs to know that kinda shit is not acceptable here. Never had this issue when Nate was the one coming here to do business.”

  “Brax.” Izzy taps him lightly on the chest with the back of her hand. She glares at him with wide eyes.

  “Shit, sorry,” he mumbles. “I didn’t mean to be an insensitive asshole.”

  “You can mention his name,” I reply, giving him the best smile I can muster. I drift off into a world of thought while the two of them chat away, none of their words registering. All I can think about is Nate. Even though I don’t want to. Even though I know now that it’s over I should forget all about him and move on with my life.

  The sound of my cell phone buzzing breaks my train of thought. I reach into my purse, checking the screen. A message shows from a number I don’t recognize. I quickly open it, reading the message. It’s from Justin, the manager at Suite 102.

  Staring at the screen, I contemplate messaging back. He wants to meet up. To have a drink with me sometime, and I know I should be flattered. The guy was hot. Not my type, but it could be the perfect distraction. I quickly type my response, setting the phone down in front of me. An instant pang of guilt sears through me even though technically I’m not doing anything wrong. Picking up the phone again, I’m tempted to message him, saying that accepting his offer was a mistake, only the phone vibrates again and his response is staring me in the face.

  Shit.

  Too late.

  Nate

  His hands land heavily around my throat, pushing my back against the cold wall of the garage, the tip of his knife so close to my eyeball, I daren’t breathe for fear of it touching.

  “Did I not fucking warn you?” he snarls and there’s no mistaking his tone. He’s fucking pissed, that much I know.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “The Mellano girl, cocksucker.” His hand squeezes a little tighter and there’s nothing I can do to get him to loosen his grip.

  “She came of her own accord,” I reply. “I didn’t invite her here.”

  “I thought I was clear when I told you to call it off.”

  “I did.” I try to force out the words, but his hand is so tight it’s barely audible. He works the knife down against the skin under my eye, the sting as he cuts me drawing out a growl.

  “Why was she here?” he asks again, this time loosening the hold around my throat. He dips out his tongue, licking the tip of the blade, removing the small amount of blood coating it. Breathing heavily, I use my hand to replace where his hand was.

  “She wanted answers. Wants to know why I really called it off. She doesn’t understand how we work here.”

  “One day she will,” he replies with a smirk. “I will make her mine, make no mistake about it.”

  “If you want my sloppy seconds, go for it.”

  Raising his clenched fist, he jabs his hand towards my face, connecting with my nose, causing my head to thrash to the side.

  “You should never have laid your filthy fucking hands on her,” he snarls, shaking his fist then rubbing his finger over his knuckles. I wipe my nose, blood streaming from my nostrils. Reaching for a cloth, I press it to my nose to stem the flow.

  “Carter promised her to me, and one day, Son, I’ll be cashing in on that promise.”

  “Carter isn’t around anymore.”

  “A promise is a promise,” he sings. “So, heed my warning.” He points his finger at me, his brows drawn together. The skin around his eyes crinkles as he narrows them on me. “Stay away from her. She isn’t yours to have, and whatever happened between you two stops here.
So help me God; if I find out you have been anywhere near her, I’ll tear you from limb to fucking limb, you got that?”

  Nodding weakly, I drop my eyes to the ground. I know there’s no joke in what he says. He means every fucking word of his threat.

  “And remember one thing.” He points the knife toward me. “Once a Savage, always a Savage. Ain’t no getting away from it.”

  “I’m not Harlan,” I spit back, instantly regretting the words that blurt from my useless fucking mouth.

  “Don’t mention his fucking name. He’s a disgrace to this family, wherever the fuck he is.”

  “But I’ve never given you a reason to doubt me. I’ve worked hard for this family.” Standing proud, I look him deep in the eye, knowing my dealings with Brax and the relationship I have formed with him has made us a great deal of money.

  “You’re nothing but a goddamn pussy. For years all you’ve been interested in is fucking sketches and goddamn tattoos. Time to become a real fucking Savage, Nate. We fuck who we want, we make our victims beg for mercy, and God help anyone that stands in our way. You were raised here, in that exact environment. Why can’t you be like the rest of us?”

  “That’s bullshit, and you know it. I’ve killed people and I’ve fucked women, just like the rest of the gang. Just because I have a talent for tattoos and drawing doesn’t make me any less of a fucking man.”

  Tilting his head up, he twirls the knife in his hand. “Have you ever forced your cock into a woman’s mouth, Nate? Huh? Made them do something they don’t want to?”

  “I’ve never needed to,” I say with a cocky tone.

  “Exactly,” he sings. “You’re just too nice, Nate. Not sure where you get that from because you were the product of the most satisfying rape to date. Your whore of a mother begged to stay here with us. She had nowhere else to go, yet here she was, begging for my cock. And do you know what? When it came to it, she was nothing but a fucked-up junkie whore, looking for a bed to sleep in. And despite her begging me to stop, I fucked her until my cum was dripping out of her tight little pussy.”

  Cringing, my heart thuds against my chest. Never has my father told me about my mother. Never. I know as a child I asked over and over. But no one ever gave me any answers. I was just another sad, lonely child living here. I will myself not to react to his nasty taunts. I know he’s trying to get a reaction out of me.