Stricken (The War Scrolls Book 1)

by A. K. Morgen

  Our chicks are coming home to roost, Abriel mused.

  “Exactly,” Killian said.

  “But would the Nephilim take it this far?” Abriel arched a brow in question. “You’re talking about carrying out mass genocide.”

  “Wouldn’t you take it that far?” Dom asked, glancing between Killian and Abriel. “The Fallen mated with humans and then cast their offspring aside. Like Killian says, they’re punished for simply existing while the Fallen responsible continue on as if they’ve done nothing wrong. Wouldn’t you want revenge if it was you?”

  “Had it not been for Caitria, I’d have torn the world apart to make the Fallen suffer,” Killian said. Not just for the way they treated Nephilim like him but for the way they cast aside their human lovers, discarding them as if they were trash. How many human women like his mother had died giving birth to the Nephilim before modern medicine? Hundreds? More?

  The Fallen could have put a stop to that, but they’d turned their backs. People like Killian’s mother had died while the Fallen cowered behind their walls and pretended innocence, too ashamed to face their mistakes. And then they refused to accept their orphaned children. And people like Aubrey continued to pay the price for that. Over and over and over they paid. The Fallen were deeply flawed and self-serving. Was it any wonder God had ripped their wings from their bodies and cast them from Heaven?

  I wish she wasn’t human.

  “Yeah, well, she is,” Killian muttered, knowing Dom hadn’t meant to share the thought, but he was unable to stop himself from responding to it anyway.

  “I know,” Dom said, holding up his hands. “I only meant…it sucks. The Dominion will never accept her, but you’ve bonded with her. That’s not right.”

  “It is what it is.”

  She couldn’t be part of his world, especially not now that the truth was out, but even knowing he couldn’t keep her…he didn’t regret having met her. She completed him in a way he’d never been complete before. With her, he wasn’t a Halfling, but a man. If that was as close to Heaven as he was allowed to come, it’d be enough. It was more than he’d ever had and was more than he’d ever expected to find.

  “So we’re looking for the Nephilim,” Abriel said, louder than necessary. I’m sorry, Killian. I truly am, he thought, and Killian knew his blade-brother had heard more than he’d intended to share. “We’ll need help rounding them up.”

  “I guess that means we’re going home.” The bed creaked beneath Dom’s weight as he rose.

  “Looks like,” Killian agreed. “You’ll need Caitria’s records. And Coriel, Amiel, and whatever’s left of the guard.”

  “Don’t you mean we?” Abriel asked.

  “I’m not taking Aubrey before the Dominion.”

  “You know I have to tell them about her father,” Abriel said. “It’ll be easier on her if you take her in to face them now.”

  “No,” Killian said emphatically. “They don’t get her. They don’t get to punish her for something that is entirely their own faults. We’ve been doing their dirty work for the last four months while they hide behind their walls. They owe us this much.”

  “Damn straight,” Dom said, flexing his muscles like a prizefighter.

  “I don’t like it, either,” Abriel said, “but they have to know the truth. Knowing where it came from may help our Healers find a way to stop it.”

  “I know, but that doesn’t change anything. They don’t get to blame someone else this time. This is their mess, not hers. She isn’t going to pay for their sins.” So far as Killian was concerned, that was final. He would not allow her to be harmed, not even if refusing to hand her over meant breaking from the Fallen once and for all.

  “Fine.” Abriel bowed his head, giving in. “I’ll take the computers from the lab. Maybe that will hold them off. Give you time to get her to safety.”

  “Is there a safe place for her? Or for any of us?” Dom asked. “If you’re right and the Nephilim are behind this, I doubt they’re alone. Vampires and the Elioud are trying to chase Aubrey down, and I doubt it’s to have a polite chat. You said her friend blamed the Fallen for what’s happening now. How many more agree with them?”

  “They’re organizing against the Fallen,” Killian said.

  “Why now? Why like this? There were far safer ways to destroy the Fallen than to risk their own lives by unleashing La Morte Nera.”

  “Why not?” Abriel shrugged when Dom looked at him. “The Fallen have made enemies of most of our kin. Those who don’t hate us fear us. Perhaps they didn’t know exactly what they were unleashing or how much damage it would do.”

  “Or they knew exactly what they were unleashing and did so anyway,” Killian murmured. “The Dominion doesn’t suspect the Nephilim, vampires, or the Elioud in this attack. Why would they when the Fallen-kin are dying in droves too?”

  “Then why are they wasting time chasing after Aubrey?” Dom asked. “She’s no threat to any of them.”

  “Isn’t she?” Killian said. “If they are organizing to go to war with the Fallen, the last thing they’d want is for the Dominion to get their hands on her. Her father created the virus. They can’t be sure how much she knows about the virus or who took it.”

  “She’s a loose end,” Abriel agreed “One they can’t be sure won’t unravel all of their plans.”

  “One they won’t get to tie up,” Killian vowed, meaning it with every fiber of his being. He didn’t care why the Nephilim were organizing the Fallen-kin for war. He didn’t care if the Fallen had made their bed. All he cared about was ensuring Aubrey didn’t get caught in the middle.

  “We’ll find a way to keep her safe,” Dom said, his eyes gleaming with promise.

  “We have to,” Killian whispered.

  ***

  Killian stood outside Aubrey’s room, his hand on the doorknob as he listened to her shuffling around inside. Her emotions were all over the place, and he had no clue what to expect from her when he went inside, but at least she was up moving around. That had to count for something.

  He just wasn’t sure what.

  He opened the door slowly.

  There were no lights on in the room, but his eyes picked her out immediately. She stood at the foot of the bed with Zee in her arms. The kitten turned his furry head in Killian’s direction and mewled.

  Killian shut the door. “Aubrey?”

  She turned to face him, the stark hopelessness on her face searing into him. “When I ran to you the night the shifters were chasing me, I thought you were going to kill me.”

  He flipped the light on and started toward her, the tremble in her voice physically hurting him.

  “Aaron always said the Fallen couldn’t be trusted if it came right down to it,” she continued. Her expression was stricken, haunted. “Part of me believed that. When I woke up in your room and you promised to help me, I knew you might kill me if you ever believed I was a threat to your people.” Her eyes met his, wide and full of remorse. “I never thought I’d give you a reason to do it,” she whispered.

  “Aubrey…”

  “I’m sorry, Killian. This is my fault. All of it. Your friends are dying because of my family. You might die because of us.” Her voice broke at the end. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Stop it,” he whispered, reaching out to pluck Zee from her arms. He let the kitten go and put his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “This isn’t your fault, Aubrey. None of it is, and no one is going to kill you.”

  “It is,” she whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks. “He wanted a weapon against the Fallen, against your people because of me and Aaron. And now…now everyone is dying. I don’t want you to die, Killian.”

  Killian’s heart shattered at the broken way she said his name. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly to his chest. “Aubrey, love,” he whispered into her hair, inhaling her scent. It washed through him, breaking loose something in his chest.

  A sob escaped her lips
as she buried her face in his shirt, clinging to him. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Shh,” he soothed, rocking her in his arms as she sobbed into his chest, her body shaking with the force of her grief. “It’s not your fault. He wanted to protect you. No one blames you for that.” Killian didn’t know what to say to ease her, not after the day she’d had. Not after everything she’d been through, not just lately but in the last three years. Her entire world kept unraveling, and there was nothing he could do to put it back together or make it hurt less for her.

  If he could, he would have. He’d have gone back and kept the Halfling from ever finding her. Kept her from ever finding out about the virus or the role her father had played in bringing it to life. Even if it meant he would never have met her, would never have known what it felt like to find that missing half of himself…he would have done it. Anything to keep her from hurting like this.

  He rained kisses across her crown, murmuring praises to her as she wept. He didn’t even know if she heard him, but he said them anyway. How beautiful she was. How alive she made him feel. How good she was and how much happiness she deserved. All of it was true even if she couldn’t believe it right then.

  Eventually, her cries slowed, and her body stopped shaking. He didn’t let her go, though. He held her as tightly as he dared, taking comfort from her as much as giving it. He knew he might never get to hold her again.

  That was a painful thought when all he wanted to do was keep her in his arms.

  Far too soon, she pulled away. Her eyes were red and swollen. Her face was puffy and streaked with tears. She was still the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

  “What…what happens now?” she whispered.

  Killian leaned his forehead against hers. “Whatever you want, Aubrey.” he whispered back.

  “Kiss me,” she mouthed. “Just…kiss me. Please.”

  He couldn’t have denied her even had he wanted to. And he didn’t. He wanted nothing more than to feel her lips against his one more time.

  He pressed his mouth to hers slowly, savoring the wash of her breath across his face and the way her lips parted for him. The ache in his chest intensified as her mouth moved with his, but he fought it back. With his lips upon hers, he told her what he’d never have the right to say aloud.

  Their kiss was slow, gentle. And not even the taste of her tears overshadowed the perfection of the moment as she pressed herself closer to him, whispering his name. He pulled back reluctantly, raining kisses across her cheeks and eyelids.

  “You need to sleep, Aubrey,” he whispered.

  “So do you.”

  “Not like you do. I’m not human.” He could go without sleep a few more days. Maybe.

  “Stay,” she said, clinging to him. “Please, stay with me.”

  “For as long as you need me,” he said, pulling her up in his arms and carrying her to the bed. He followed her down, allowing her to wrap herself around him. She sighed, twisting her fingers into his shirt as if to keep him from leaving while she slept. He stroked his fingers through her hair. “Sleep,” he whispered, pulling the blankets up over her with his free hand.

  “Don’t leave me,” she mumbled.

  For the first time since he’d met her, he lied to her.

  “Never,” he promised.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The first rays of the early morning sun peeked over the horizon when Aubrey awoke. She’d slept undisturbed, as if Killian had shielded and protected her even in sleep, but she didn’t feel particularly rested or refreshed. She felt…sad. She stared into the murky light filtering into the room, not willing to move. Killian was still in the bed with her, cradling her to his body. He seemed more solid and real than anything else in her life.

  What Jason told her had ripped old wounds wide open, just as she’d suspected might happen when she’d agreed to this trip. Only, there was no running from them this time. There was no belief that the human world could shelter her or take away the pain. There was only this—Killian’s hard chest beneath her cheek and the fear that what her father had done might kill the fierce warrior too.

  She’d spent so long surrounded by death she’d thought she was used to it. She’d been wrong. All the time she’d spent believing she was cursed or being punished hadn’t prepared her for this. For contemplating that the Halfling who’d promised to keep her safe might die. That it’d be her father’s fault if he did.

  She wanted to scream, to rail and cry that it wasn’t fair. That she didn’t want this. That she’d never wanted this. Not once had she ever wished for the innocent to die. Had she known what her father was doing or that this might happen, she would have stopped him. Begged, pleaded, whatever it took. It hurt to realize that in his quest to protect her and Aaron, he’d damned someone like Killian. How was that right or fair?

  It wasn’t, of course.

  “What are you thinking about?” Killian asked, running his fingers through her hair. They slipped through easily, as if he’d been doing the same thing all night and had kept the tangles away.

  “You,” she whispered, her voice thick with sleep and emotion. “I don’t understand how my father could do this to all of you.” She sighed. Had he known she wouldn’t want this? Is that why he’d never told her?

  That thought hurt too. All her life, she’d trusted her father. She’d believed he was a good man doing good work. That belief had kept her going when nothing else had. It had been her constant companion the last three years, providing solace when all else failed.

  Only, he’d been a hypocrite, hadn’t he? He hadn’t been the hero she’d always thought him to be. He’d simply been a man. A scared man, subject to the same faults and foibles as everyone else. She wasn’t sure how to make that fit with her idea of him or how to be okay with where it had led him.

  Killian’s breath fanned pieces of her hair before he shifted her onto her back to gaze down at her. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” His expression was grave in the early morning light.

  “I’m not doi—”

  “You’re torturing yourself.” He leaned down to press his lips to her forehead. “He’s not the one who released the virus, and neither are you.”

  “He created it, though,” she argued, her eyes fluttering closed at the press of his lips to her skin. How did he make her feel so safe, so protected, when everything seemed to be spiraling out of control? She cherished that ability of his more than he knew.

  “He did,” Killian agreed, pulling back again. He hovered over her, staring down with those bright eyes that saw to her soul. “But you have to consider how he felt, Aubrey. There were monsters out there he couldn’t fight, demons and angels who used humans for their own purposes. He had to hope that if it ever came down to it, your brother and his friends could keep you safe when he couldn’t. Imagine how he felt about that, about knowing they might have to risk their lives for yours. Would your father have wanted to trade their lives for yours if he could have prevented it?”

  Aubrey shook her head reluctantly. He wouldn’t have wanted that. He’d loved their rag-tag group of Elioud friends as if they were his sons. “But that doesn’t—”

  “It does.” Killian pressed a fingertip to her lips to silence her. “He wanted to protect all of you, and he tried to do that the only way he knew how. When you were attacked, he realized he’d made a mistake. He tried to stop it.”

  “Why are you so calm about this?” she demanded, pushing at his chest so she could sit up. He eased back onto his knees to allow her room to move. “Your friends and family are dying because of what he did. You might die because of it! Why aren’t you angry about that?”

  “My people brought this on themselves,” he said, reaching out to brush her hair away from her face. “They were selfish and foolish, and this is the price.”

  “They don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve it.”

  “I’ve made peace with it, Aubrey.”

  “Why?” she asked. She didn’t understand him. Out o
f the two of them, he had the most reason to be angry. Her father had created the virus specifically to kill his people, and unless they found a cure, he was going to die. His brothers and adopted mother…everyone who had been part of his life for the last two hundred years would be wiped out, leaving no trace. Why wasn’t he raging over that? Why didn’t he hate her for her father’s part in that?

  “Because forever is a long time to live,” he said.

  “What does that mean?” She scowled at him, hating that he could be so calm when this threatened to tear her in two. She couldn’t pretend any more that if she ignored what he made her feel for long enough, it would go away.

  It wouldn’t. She knew that now. He was important to her. More important than she’d realized he was until Jason had torn her world apart all over again. She needed him to be okay for reasons she couldn’t even explain to herself, let alone to him. Her life was brighter with him in it. She hadn’t meant for that to happen, but it had.

  And the thought of watching him die destroyed something inside her.

  He smiled a little at her frustration, his teeth flashing in the murky light. “It means we never asked for this life, Aubrey. None of us ever asked to be angels or Nephilim or to live forever. I suppose when you’ve watched everyone around you die, doing it yourself doesn’t seem like such a hardship.”

  “You don’t mean that,” she said. “If you did, you wouldn’t be fighting so hard to stop the virus. You would have lain down and given up.”

  “Being prepared to die doesn’t mean you want to watch everyone go down with you,” he admonished. “If I die so your friends, my friends, you can live…I’m willing to accept that sacrifice.”

  “But—”