Living To Love You (Santos Family Series Book 4)

by KD Bryan

  “Okay, we understand, Dr. Alston,” said Rob. “I’m assuming Jillian will be sedated for the biopsy procedure, correct?”

  “Yes, she will,” agreed Dr. Alston before addressing her patient again. “Jillian, this is a relatively simple procedure, and the recovery should be uneventful. You’ll have a few sutures of course, and you’ll receive a prescription for pain medication for any discomfort afterwards.”

  Jillian finally roused from her silence to ask, “When do I need to have this done?”

  Dr. Alston expelled a quiet sigh that Rob picked up through the telephone line. “Soon, Jillian. Actually, the surgeon that I’ve consulted has a cancellation on his schedule for the day after tomorrow. I strongly recommend that you make plans to have this done then. The sooner we get the biopsy results, the sooner we’ll know what we’re dealing with.”

  After a short pause, Dr. Alston went on to explain that the surgeon had agreed to forego the normal consultation visit in his office in order to expedite the biopsy procedure. Since there was a cancellation on his schedule for this week, he was willing to accept the referral directly from her office. Dr. Alston was also going to send her office notes, as well as all the laboratory results to Dr. Stone’s office, too.

  Rob squeezed Jillian’s cold fingers in his and asked, “Dr. Alston, how soon will the biopsy results be available?”

  “We usually have the results within seven days. In some instances it’s sooner, but I don’t like to make any predictions regarding the pathology department’s turnaround time. As soon as I receive the pathology report I’ll call you, Jillian, and have you come in to discuss the results,” explained Dr. Alston.

  There was one thing that had been bothering Rob since Jillian had dropped this bomb on him, and while he had the opportunity Rob decided to ask the doctor directly what he wanted to know.

  “Dr. Alston, I have a question. Jillian said she went in because of some swelling in her groin area that had progressively gotten worse. As I understand it, you found more swelling on your exam. I also know you ran some lab work that evidently came back abnormal. You’ve told Jillian there’s the possibility of…” Rob hesitated and glanced at Jillian. She was staring at the far wall and gripping her phone in her hand. He hated to use the word again, but Rob knew it was imperative that they have a clear understanding of everything.

  “You said, doctor, that there was the possibility of malignancy. What did you base that possibility on? I must admit that I was a little surprised you used that word so early in the game,” explained Rob.

  He heard Dr. Alston clear her throat before she began to explain. “That’s a very valid question, Mr. Santos. To be quite frank, I’ve seen situations before that presented like Jillian’s today. I’m not sure if you’re aware of the degree of swelling we’re talking about, but it is significant. And from what Jillian told me today, the swelling has gotten significantly worse in a very short period of time. I also ordered a rather extensive battery of laboratory tests based on my clinical experience and what I saw today.”

  Dr. Alston paused, and Rob could hear what sounded like papers being shuffled on her end. A moment later she spoke again saying, “I could launch into a lengthy explanation of all of the results, but I’m not sure how helpful that would be. I understand that Jillian has had a lot of information thrown at her today. However, with that said, I can tell you that several of the more specific tests that I ordered did come back with abnormal results.”

  “How abnormal, Dr. Alston? Are we talking the high end of normal, low end of abnormal?” asked Rob. Yes, he’d been raised by a mother who was a doctor, and he’d picked up on a few things ‘medical’ through the years.

  “Unfortunately, the results fell in the mid to high range of abnormal. I’m still awaiting the results of a few more tests that take longer to process, but today’s results didn’t shed a positive light on things. I know that’s not what either you or Jillian wanted to hear, and I’m sorry for that,” answered Dr. Alston quietly.

  Rob could hear the genuine empathy in the woman’s voice coming through the speaker. Running a hand back through his hair, he tried focusing on what they needed to ask next. Another glance at Jillian’s face showed Rob that she’d mentally retreated somewhere else besides here on the couch with him, and he knew it was up to him at this point to ask the questions they needed answers to. Jillian was quite simply on overload, and Rob was beginning to worry about her emotional and mental state.

  “Dr. Alston, what do we need to do before Jillian’s biopsy procedure to get her prepared?” Rob asked practically. He had a general idea, but he certainly didn’t want to take anything for granted at this point.

  Dr. Alston went on to explain about nothing by mouth after midnight the night before, and they needed to report to the outpatient surgery department by seven o’clock that morning. Jillian needed to wear loose, comfortable clothing to assure her comfort after the procedure. The doctor assured Rob that all other instructions regarding care after the procedure would be explained by the nurses that day. She also advised Rob that Jillian would need to report to the hospital tomorrow afternoon for her pre-op work-up as well.

  Rob finally ended the phone call and he heard the line go dead when Dr. Alston hung up. He gently pried the phone from Jillian’s hand and lay it on the table in front of them before turning back to look at her. The terrified look in her eyes nearly broke Rob, and he reached for Jillian pulling her close to his side. Smoothing her hair with his hand, Rob finally tipped her face up to his.

  “Jillian, I know this is a lot to take in, sweetheart. I know that, but we’ve got to stay positive, okay? And babe, I really think you need to call Carli at this point,” he said gently.

  Jillian closed her eyes and drew in a ragged breath. Would this nightmare never end? She wanted to rewind and wake up in Greece with nothing more pressing than a temperamental photographer to try and pacify. There was no waking up, though. Not in Greece, or anywhere else that would make this whole thing go away. Dismally, she also knew that Rob was right about calling his sister, but Jillian just wasn’t sure she could be the one to do it.

  I have seen the best of you and the worst of you.

  And I choose both.

  -Unknown

  Chapter Five

  The silence in the room stretched as Rob waited for Jillian to make a decision about calling his sister. He knew it had to be Jillian’s to make, and Rob understood her hesitancy. Telling someone else just made the situation more real, and he knew that’s what scared Jillian the most. Hell, he didn’t want it to be real either, and Rob was desperately trying to ignore the sick churning in his own gut so he could concentrate on Jillian.

  Rob drew back and looked closely at Jillian’s pale face ravaged from endless crying already. Regardless of the worry and fear etched onto her features, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever known. Rob was drawn to her in a way that even he’d never understood. It was like Jillian was a part of him…the best part, and truthfully the worst as well at times. Their timing had never been on through the years it seemed, and Rob had thought many times that in itself might be a sign. A sign that possibly they weren’t meant to be together in the long run, but he quickly reminded himself that he and Jillian had been back together, in a fashion, for quite some time again.

  “Jilli, what do you want to do? I think it might help if Carli were here, don’t you?” asked Rob.

  Basically Rob felt he needed to try and get Jillian to engage more than anything. She’d been sitting so quietly, and seemed so lost, that Rob was beginning to fear he was out of his depth here trying to deal with things alone.

  “I know, Rob. Can you call her for me? Just call her and ask her to come here,” requested Jillian dully. Rob heard no real emotion in her voice other than resignation, but at least she was now willing to let him call.

  “Sure, I can do that. You sit tight and I’ll call her from the kitchen, okay? I think I left my phone on the counter earlier.”

/>   Rob stood and looked down at Jillian for another moment before leaving the room. He’d never seen her like this, and it was scaring the hell out of him. Gone was the vibrant, and in your face, woman that made up Jillian Barnes. She’d been replaced by someone who seemed to be coasting on autopilot, and who was barely managing to hold herself together.

  Grabbing his phone from the counter, Rob dialed Carli’s number and wasn’t surprised when she answered on the first ring.

  “Roberto! What’s going on, and where’s Jillian? Where are you for that matter?” asked Carli in rapid fire succession. She was beyond upset at this point and wanting answers.

  Rob pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers and walked the length of the kitchen island. He really didn’t know where to begin, and delivering this news to his sister had his gut clenching again.

  “Carli, I’m with Jillian and we’re at Monica’s house…” he began only to be cut off by Carli.

  “Monica’s house? Why? Jillian wouldn’t go there, Rob. I don’t understand,” said Carli with confusion lacing her words.

  “I know, Carli. But please, just let me explain, okay? Jillian had a doctor’s appointment today. Sis, I don’t know how to say this…things aren’t good.”

  Rob heard his sister’s quiet gasp and then, “Talk to me, Roberto. What does that mean that things aren’t good? You’re scaring me!”

  “I know, and I’m sorry. Jillian had some swelling…in her groin area that just kept getting worse. She came home to see her family doctor because of it. Carli, they’re doing biopsies…to rule out…to rule out malignancy,” said Rob, the emotion was suddenly choking him, and he couldn’t seem to breathe through the ache in his chest.

  “What? Oh no…Rob, no! I’m coming there. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Tell her I’m coming, and we’ll talk…we’ll figure this all out,” said Carli in a broken rush. Rob could hear the emotion in her voice, and he knew without a doubt that she was crying.

  “Carli, she’s not in good shape. I’ve never seen her like this. I’m trying to do whatever I need to do, but she’s shut down…the doctor just called about scheduling the biopsy procedure and I basically had to do all the talking. Jillian’s just retreated somewhere…hell, I don’t even know where,” he offered lamely.

  The enormity of the situation was starting to sink in now that Rob was talking to Carli, and what he’d feared was true. It was out there now, someone else knew. It was becoming more real by the moment, and Rob just wanted it to go away.

  “Rob, I’m hanging up, okay? I have to get the girls situated, and tell Reid what’s happening. I have to…” Carli stopped talking suddenly, and Rob heard her choke back a sob on her end. Now his sister was hurting too, and he felt even more helpless if that were possible.

  “Carli, are you sure you can drive? I know you’re upset. Why don’t you let Reid drop you off here? I’d feel better if he came with you,” said Rob.

  Carli blew out a breath and tried to hold back the tears. Crying wasn’t going to help the situation, but her best friend in the entire world was hurting. Jillian was scared and hurting which meant Carli needed to be there.

  “Okay, I’ll let Reid drive me. We’ll be there soon, Rob. Hang in there, honey.”

  Rob ended the phone call and stood staring at his phone for a long moment. One call had the power to change everything depending on the circumstances. The normal suddenly became the abnormal, and a person’s world was turned upside down like Jillian’s had been today after one visit to the doctor’s office. Sighing, Rob turned and headed back to the family room. His sister would be arriving soon, and he needed to prepare himself for the emotional rollercoaster that was about to hit.

  A short half-hour later Carli arrived and Rob met her at the door to let her in. He took one look at her face and knew that she’d been crying since they’d talked. At the moment Carli seemed to have it together again, but Rob knew that was about to change when she saw Jillian. After hanging up with his sister, Rob had returned to find Jillian huddled on the couch again with tears streaming down her face. He’d started the whole comforting process over again, and had just gotten her calmed down a few minutes ago.

  Carli took one look at her younger brother and knew things were bad. Aside from what they were possibly facing medically, she knew Rob had been dealing with a side of Jillian he’d never dealt with before.

  “Rob, honey, how is she? I mean overall of course. I know she’s not good, that goes without saying,” stated Carli.

  Rob blew out a breath and shook his head. “I don’t know, Sis. I’ve never seen her like this…she’s always so strong…Jilli’s the one who never lets anything bother her, or at least that you’d know about. It’s like she’s shutting down, Carli, and we don’t even have a confirmed diagnosis yet. How in the hell is she going to handle this if the biopsy reports come back…if they come back that it’s…cancer,” said Rob.

  Carli put out a hand and rubbed Rob’s arm in a comforting gesture. Yes, he was scared too, and Carli heard the underlying panic in his voice. She knew her brother was also asking how he was going to handle it if the biopsy report came back positive. Carli’s heart went out to him, and for more than one reason. Yes, she knew that Rob loved Jillian, as she did him. It wasn’t something they’d either one owned out loud, but Carli knew which direction their feelings ran for one another

  “Rob, I don’t know, honey. We’ll simply have to cross that particular bridge if we need to. In the meantime, Jillian is dealing with a myriad of emotions right now. Fear, anger, denial…the list is endless. We just have to remain strong for her right now, Rob, because she’s not able to manage that on her own. Come on, I need to get to her,” said Carli.

  Rob shook his head and said, “She’s in the family room. I left her there wrapped up with a throw around her. She’s been freezing, and alternating between staring at nothing and crying.”

  Carli entered the family room and her gaze immediately went to the lone figure huddled on the sofa. Jillian had her head leaned back, and her eyes closed, making Carli think for a moment she’d drifted off to sleep. Jillian’s eyes opened suddenly as if she’d sensed her best friend was in the room with her. A look passed between the two women, and Rob heard the sob as it broke loose from Jillian. Carli flew to the couch and soon had Jillian wrapped up in her arms as the tears came in wracking sobs.

  Rob passed a hand over his face and fought the sting of tears in his own eyes. It was killing him to see two of the most important people in his life succumb to this much hurt and fear. He wanted to put his fist through a wall that either one of them might have to face the possible reality that Jillian could be sick. Hell, he was having to face it too, and the thought of seeing her ill and dealing with everything that entailed was like a punch to his gut he’d been unprepared for.

  Rob finally moved from his spot and silently took a seat in a nearby chair. Carli had pulled away, but was holding a still crying Jillian at arm’s length while she spoke in earnest to her friend. After another long hug, Carli settled Jillian back on the sofa and pulled the throw around her again. Rob watched as his sister wiped her own tears from her cheeks and took a shuddering breath.

  Carli’s heart was breaking at seeing her best friend this broken and scared. Not to mention that Rob was right about the fact that they didn’t even have a definitive diagnosis yet. Jillian still had the biopsy procedure to get through, and then the endless days of waiting for the results. Carli knew from a clinical standpoint just how emotionally draining that process could be for the patient. There was nothing more taxing than waiting on news that could potentially alter the rest of your life.

  Glancing at her brother, Carli saw that Rob had taken a seat in a nearby chair and she also didn’t miss the worried looks Rob was casting in Jillian’s direction. Carli’s heart went out to him because she knew how upsetting this had to be for him, too. She also had a feeling that the time of reckoning she’d been predicting for the two of them was closer than they realize
d, and Carli just hoped they were willing to recognize it when the time came.

  Rob and Jillian had been dancing around their feelings for one another for over two years again, and it had all started when Jillian had arrived at Rico’s club one night to surprise Carli. She’d flown in from Chicago to cheer up her best friend when Carli was dealing with some major issues over her feelings for the man who was now her husband. Jillian and Rob hadn’t seen one another for two years at that time, and with impeccably bad timing Rob had shown up at the club with a date in tow that night.

  However, date aside, Carli had found her little brother’s car in her driveway, and him doing the walk of shame into her kitchen the next morning. Rob and Jillian had been seeing one another since that time, and to Carli’s knowledge there’d been no one else for either one of them.

  Carli sighed quietly and sat back on the couch beside Jillian. It was time to talk this through and see if she could make sense of what was going on. Rob’s sketchy details on the phone had unfortunately left Carli with more questions than answers. She knew Rob was doing his best in a very difficult situation, and she was grateful that he’d obviously stepped up when Jillian had needed him.

  It really came as no surprise to Carli that Rob had been the first one Jillian had called first. The two of them inevitably seemed to find their way back to one another regardless of how much time had passed, or the circumstances surrounding the situation. Today was another testament to that, and Carli hoped it was an indication of the true depth of their feelings for one another. She had a sinking feeling that their strong bond might soon be tested, and not in a good way at all.

  Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked

  for a night off and a dress.

  -Kiera Cass