Living To Love You (Santos Family Series Book 4)

by KD Bryan

  Laughing at his wife’s statement, he said, “It sounds like we need to get you and this little man to my office so he can eat then.”

  Rob glanced at Jillian after his brother and sister-in-law walked away and noticed how tired she was looking. Their night out had her fading fast, and Rob knew he needed to get them home soon. He pressed a kiss to Pilar’s cheek and said, “I think we need to find your daddy, little girl, so I can take Tia Jilli home.”

  Pilar clapped her hands in Rob’s face as she said, “Dad-dy!”

  “Yep, that’s right. We’ll find Daddy and I’ll pass you off to him,” laughed Rob. Looking at Jillian he said, “Babe, I’ll find someone to take her and then I’ll be back.”

  Nodding okay, Jillian said, “No hurry, Rob. I can last a few more minutes.”

  True to his word, Rob was back a few minutes later and they made their rounds saying good-bye. They waved one last time as they exited out into the hallway again and Jillian removed her mask. Wearing it hadn’t been so bad really, and she was happy it’d allowed her to attend tonight and see everyone.

  Jillian slid into bed shortly after they arrived back home, and lay listening to the sounds of Rob getting ready for bed as well. He’d teased her again on the way home about wearing her mask later, and she’d laughed at his comments around a big yawn. She was so tired, though, and Jillian fought to keep her eyes open until Rob joined her.

  Rob flipped off the bathroom light and made his way across the bedroom to slide in beside Jillian. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, Rob peaked over at Jillian’s still form. She was already asleep, and Rob smiled thinking about how much she’d enjoyed getting out tonight.

  Rob lay down beside her and turned to gently pull Jillian’s sleeping form against his body. With his arm around her, Rob whispered, “Good night, Madame Bandit. I love you,” as he pressed a kiss to the soft bristles of new hair that were finally starting to appear.

  I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.

  I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.

  I believe in being strong when everything seems

  to be going wrong…I believe that tomorrow is

  another day, and I believe in miracles.

  -Audrey Hepburn

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Jillian’s last radiation treatment was a little anticlimactic, and she left the hospital feeling like an era in her life had finally ended. Her cancer treatments were over…and now the waiting began. It seemed as if she’d been continuously waiting for something for months, and in essence she had been. Waiting to see the doctor, waiting for biopsy results, waiting to start treatment, waiting to start the second phase of treatment when the first was finished.

  This new waiting period would last two weeks, and then she’d report for a PET scan and more lab tests to determine if the treatments had worked. It was the time period following those tests that Jillian dreaded, and she was certain she’d be a basket case until they received the results. Both Dr. Nixon and Dr. Sudan had told Jillian that she’d done well with her treatments, but doing well with treatment was no guarantee that it had worked. She’d questioned Dr. Nixon at her last appointment about their next course of action if she didn’t go into remission, and Jillian recalled the hesitancy in his voice as he answered.

  He’d finally explained that after weighing their options, he’d most likely recommend more aggressive chemotherapy if that’s what she chose to do. The alternative was to do nothing but simply wait and see how her disease progressed. With choosing to do nothing, he really couldn’t give her a time frame with regard to her life expectancy because it differed for everyone. He’d mentioned the term hospice, and Jillian had cringed as the word left his mouth. Of course that would come closer to the end, but the end wasn’t something she wanted to contemplate.

  Jillian had thanked Dr. Nixon for his honesty before leaving his office that day, and Rob had remained tight lipped and silent all the way home. Jillian knew her discussion with the doctor had upset him, but she’d felt it was time to face the monster that could possibly be lurking in her future. Rob had been reluctant to leave her that day to even return to work, and Jillian hadn’t protested when he’d called his personal assistant to say he’d be in the next morning. They’d spent the rest of that day quietly at home just watching movies and snuggling together on the couch.

  In the meantime, Jillian knew she had some decisions to make and Rob needed to be involved in the process. He’d called earlier to say he was bringing dinner home and Jillian planned to broach the subject of her immediate future after they’d eaten. She’d actually been on the phone with her boss earlier, and their conversation had ended with both of them sniffling as they hung up. Jillian knew she could work as a clothing designer in St. Louis simply because she’d done it before, and had left her last job here in good standing. However, her boss at her current job had become a close personal friend and she hated the thought of no longer working for Vincente. He’d been in constant contact the last few months, and had worried incessantly over her health issues.

  Rob finally arrived home, and Jillian absently picked at her food as they ate dinner. With a sigh, Rob looked at her and asked, “Jilli, what’s wrong? You’ve barely touched your food, and you’ve hardly said anything since I walked through the door.”

  Clearing her throat, Jillian looked up to meet his concerned gaze. “I wanted to talk to you about a few things…things that involve the future.”

  “Okay, go on,” encouraged Rob as he pushed his own plate aside.

  “I spoke with Vincente today, and I told him that I’m not coming back to Chicago to work. Regardless of what the future holds with my illness,” began Jillian.

  Grabbing her water, she took a sip trying to relieve the dryness in her mouth before setting the glass aside to speak again.

  “Rob, I’ve been unsettled in Chicago for a while now, but I just haven’t said anything. The longer we were back together, the more unsettled I became. I’m ready to be here, Rob. I want to be here with you, and I can’t imagine being anywhere without you now,” admitted Jillian quietly.

  Folding his arms to rest on the table top, Rob gazed at Jillian silently for a moment. “Well, that certainly made things a lot easier.”

  “What do you mean by easier? Easier how?” asked Jillian with a puzzled frown.

  Reaching for her hand, Rob laced their fingers together and said, “Stay here, okay? I’ll be right back.”

  Jillian was completely baffled as she watched Rob disappear into the bedroom only to return a few moments later. She felt her heart hammering in her chest as he stopped in front of her chair and then dropped to one knee holding a black ring box in his hand.

  “Jillian, there’ve been times in our lives when I wasn’t sure this moment would ever be a reality. We’ve had the better, and we’ve certainly had our share of the worst. And I think we’ve proven that we can do the ‘in sickness or in health part’ as well. I love you, Jilli. So, will you marry me, and we’ll do whatever the future holds together with you as my wife?”

  Crying openly, Jillian’s hands were trembling as she said, “Yes.”

  She extended her left hand and watched as Rob slid the square cut diamond solitaire set in platinum onto her ring finger. The two carat stone shown brilliantly under the room’s lighting as Jillian leaned forward to meet Rob for a kiss. With her arms wound around his neck, she said, “I love you, Roberto…so much. I don’t know what’s going to happen…but I want you there.”

  Holding her close, Rob nodded against her shoulder and said, “I know, baby, and I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

  Rob pulled back so he could see Jillian’s face then smiled tenderly before kissing her again. “So, do we call everyone now or wait until tomorrow?”

  Returning his smile with one of her own, Jillian said, “Can you imagine Carli, or Sylvia either for that matter, ever forgiving us if we don’t call tonight?”

  “Good point, babe. See, my future
wife not only has the beauty, but you have the brains as well,” declared Rob while rising to his feet.

  He held out his hand for Jillian to take and then led her to the couch to sit. Their dinner all but forgotten, Rob took a moment to set up another conference call with his family, and then after everyone was connected he said, “Hey guys. We have some news, and we wanted to tell everyone at once. Jilli, do you want to do the honors?”

  Squeezing his hand in hers, Jillian said, “We’re engaged! He asked, and I said yes.”

  Pandemonium broke out across the telephone lines as everyone shouted out their congratulations. Miguel was back home at this point, and Rob heard his little brother’s voice above everyone else say, “Well it’s about damn time!”

  “I hear you, little brother, and you’re right,” laughed Rob.

  After fielding questions about the ring, and how Rob had proposed, Carli asked the next obvious question. “So, when do you plan to get married? Any ideas yet?”

  Jillian glanced at Rob and caught the questioning hesitancy in his expression which she was sure matched her own. Realistically they had no idea what the immediate future held, and she knew they’d need to discuss things in more detail privately. To satisfy the masses, she decided to go with something plausible, but not too specific.

  “We actually haven’t made it that far. I still need to orchestrate a move from Chicago, and tie up some loose ends with my job, too,” she explained practically before continuing in a teasing tone. “But rest assured, you all will be the first ones to know when the big event is going to happen.”

  “Well, I should hope so!” cried Isabella indignantly. “We’re a big part of the big event, and you know it.”

  Laughter filtered through the line and Rob finally got everyone’s attention again saying, “Okay, we’re out of here. Gotta celebrate with my new fiancé, so we’ll see you all soon.”

  A chorus of good-byes echoed throughout the room as Rob disconnected the line. Turning to Jillian, he shook his head as he reached to pull her into his arms. “We’re engaged. You said yes. We’re getting married.”

  “Yes, yes, and yes,” laughed Jillian against his shoulder. Sitting back in the circle of his arms, Jillian sobered and looked at Rob. “We have a few things to discuss, Rob. My tests are coming up in a couple of weeks…and then we’ll be waiting for the results.”

  Stroking his hands down her back, Rob nodded in understanding. “I know, babe, and we’ll take it one day at a time just like we’ve been doing. There’s no hurry, Jillian. We can go to Chicago as soon as you’re up to it and take care of your apartment. We’ll hire a moving company to take care of the things you want brought here, and you’ve already spoken to Vincente.”

  Relief settled over her features as Jillian thought through Rob’s practical list. “Okay, that’s all doable. And you’re right, there’s no rush. We can take care of things at our own pace.”

  Nuzzling her neck with his lips, Rob murmured, “Of course I’m right, babe. That’s one of my finer qualities.”

  Jillian closed her eyes and arched her neck giving Rob better access to the sensitive area behind her ear. He was making it difficult for her to think about anything except the shiver that raced down her spine as his lips trailed across to her mouth. Rob’s lips captured hers in a kiss that had Jillian clutching his forearms and squeezing until her nails dug through the material of his shirt.

  Their lips finally parted, and Jillian realized they were both breathing hard from the intensity of their kiss. Rob pressed another kiss to her mouth as his hand slipped under her shirt to trail up to her bare breast causing Jillian to arch into his touch.

  “Let’s go to bed,” murmured Rob as he ran his thumb across the taunt peak.

  Jillian could only nod as tingling pleasure shot through her when Rob’s other hand slipped under her shirt to connect and massage the other breast. She was vaguely aware when they rose from the couch and Rob led her into the bedroom with his hands still on her bare skin. They were both undressed moments later, and Rob lower Jillian gently to the mattress.

  He placed soft kisses across her chest and then down the flat plane of her belly, not stopping until he reached the sensitive skin below her naval. Rob worked his way back up and then settled his hips between Jillian’s thighs as he took her mouth in another kiss that had her lifting her own hips.

  They made love slowly at first, and then Rob gathered Jillian into his arms and rolled them until she was laying on top of him. Their fingers laced together, Rob didn’t let go as Jillian set the pace driving them both toward their release. Rob looked at the courageous woman above him and his heart swelled with love, as well as passion and desire.

  Regardless of all the changes either positive or negative, Rob’s attraction to her had never wavered. He’d never lost sight of the fact that his Jillian was still there…somewhere beneath the frailness, the hair loss, the endless nausea and vomiting at times…the woman he’d loved for more years than not was fighting courageously to emerge again.

  Minutes later they lay entangled in one another’s arms with Jillian’s body still draped across Rob’s. Raising her hand up to eye level, Jillian sighed happily as the brilliant diamond on her finger glittered in the dim light of the bedroom. Engaged. She and Rob were engaged. Was the timing perfect? It was probably as far from perfect as it could be, but Jillian refused to dwell on that tonight. Regardless of what the future held, she had this moment in time. This moment of unbridled happiness was something she hadn’t felt in a very long time, and Jillian wanted to lock it away in her heart to cherish in the days to come.

  Jillian left the hospital two weeks later after having gone through her scheduled PET scan and blood draw for labs. Carli had accompanied her today since Rob had an important client meeting, and Jillian had insisted that he keep the appointment. Carli had insisted as well, stating she was ready for a day out and happily left all three girls with her parents and her abuela. The two friends had even stopped for lunch at one of their favorite haunts in the city, and spent the time catching up.

  Carli’s pregnancy was now going smoothly, not that Jillian had expected anything else. Apparently Angelina was adjusting well to her new life with the Brandt’s, and the twins seemed happy sharing the attention of their parents with their newly adopted sister. After lunch the two women returned to Rob’s house, and Carli left promising to call in the next few days. Jillian knew everyone was anxiously awaiting the results of her tests just as she was, and it warmed her heart knowing that her friends, and future family, were there to support her while her future still hung in the balance.

  Jillian woke several mornings later just in time to kiss Rob good-bye as he walked out the door leaving for work. They’d spent the week making tentative plans for a trip to Chicago to take care of her apartment, and Jillian had officially resigned from her position at work. Thankfully, her health insurance coverage was with a private policy, so leaving the small company hadn’t caused any major upheaval from that standpoint. She did plan to meet personally with her former boss when she returned to Chicago, but any projects she’d been involved in had already been assigned to others at the beginning of her illness.

  The sound of her phone ringing broke into Jillian’s thoughts, and she grabbed it from the table without even checking the screen. Everything around her came to a standstill when Jillian heard Dr. Nixon’s voice on the line, and she immediately clutched the table’s edge with her free hand. She felt her heart pounding in her chest, and Jillian forced herself to breathe through the anxiety riddling her system as she said hello.

  “Jillian, it’s Dr. Nixon and I have some news that I needed to share with you. The results of your tests are back, and they were waiting on my desk this morning,” explained the doctor. “I wasn’t sure if you preferred to come into my office, or if we could speak on the phone.”

  Swallowing against the lump in her throat, Jillian heard her voice crack before she replied, “The phone…I, uh, yes, we can speak on the
phone…”

  Jillian ended the call several minutes later and stared numbly at the phone in her shaking hand. Without warning, loud sobs wracked her body as she struggled to comprehend what Dr. Nixon had just told her. When her crying finally slowed, Jillian realized she was still clutching her phone and she somehow managed to bring up Rob’s contact information.

  Rob smiled when he looked down and saw Jillian’s name flash across his phone where it lay on his desk. They’d spent the week with him trying to keep Jillian busy, and her mind on something other than the phone call they were waiting on. The waiting was excruciatingly difficult, and Rob knew Jillian had been existing on raw nerves and very little sleep.

  Grabbing his phone, Rob activated the call and said, “Hey, baby, what’s going on?”

  Crying quietly now, Jillian heard Rob’s voice and an overwhelming sense of peace settled over her as she answered, “Remission.”

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later

  St. Mary’s Cathedral

  The slight rustling sounds of the small crowd quieted as Rob and his older brother took their places at the front of the sanctuary with their priest. As the music started, Rob’s attention was focused solely down the long aisle as he waited for the doors in back to open. Suddenly, his sister appeared and began making her way toward the front of the church looking beautiful in a gown of fuchsia that set off the dark tone of her skin.

  Carli took her place and then smiled tenderly at her younger brother. She’d been fighting tears all morning, but they were tears of happiness because the two people she loved so much were finally going to be married this afternoon. Rob and Jillian had fought to get here through years of uncertainty in their relationship followed by months of battling an illness that had threatened everything. Jillian was in remission now, and Carli sent up a silent prayer of thanks just as her son delivered a painful kick to her ribs.