Desire and Protect

by Lori Ryan

  There was a pause, but it wasn’t a long one. “What’s this brother’s name?”

  “James Lawless. The sister is Laura Bishop now. She was Laura Kensington before that.”

  “Hang tight.”

  “Really?” Shane growled to Phoebe as they waited. “You didn’t want to warn me?”

  She outright giggled and he shot her a look. “I sign your paychecks, you know?”

  “Oh, I know.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

  “Phoebe?” The General sounded off when he came back on the line. His voice held a heaviness that Shane knew couldn’t be good. “Your friend isn’t on the call, is she?”

  Shane’s eyes met Phoebe’s as she told her father no.

  “Unofficially, all I can tell you is that James Lawless is Missing in Action. He’s been missing for four years, Phoebe.”

  None of them spoke for a moment before the General came back in quietly. “If you give me some time, I’ll go through channels. See what I can find out. In the meantime, Shane, I need you to submit an official inquiry to the Army on the sister’s behalf. I’ll get back to you guys as soon as I know more.”

  20

  Sometimes life kicks you in the teeth. Kick back.

  Fiona O’Malley’s Journal

  Neither one of them spoke in the moments after the phone call. Shane blew out a breath, and Phoebe waited for him to break the silence.

  “Wow.”

  “That’s an understatement,” she said.

  Shane huffed. “Yeah. No kidding.”

  “Will you tell Laura right away?”

  Shane shook his head, but it was the slow kind of shake that said there was more hesitation than decision in it. “I don’t know. Depending on the circumstances, it’s entirely possible missing in action might mean he’s dead, but they were unable to recover a body.”

  “True.” Phoebe’s single word hung in the air.

  “I can’t get her hopes up only to find out…”

  Phoebe nodded. “My dad won’t make us wait any longer than necessary. If you want to prepare a letter on Laura’s behalf, I can give you his direct fax to get it to Carson right away.”

  “Thank you.”

  Shane sat motionless in his chair as Phoebe stood and went to the door. His voice stopped her. “Phoebe.”

  “Yeah?” She turned and saw him watching her.

  “Really, Phoebe. Thank you for that. For calling your dad. You just cut through what I’m sure would have been a lot of red tape. Even if this doesn’t end with good news, knowing what happened to James will help Laura.”

  Phoebe swallowed and nodded before walking out. It felt good being able to help. She’d watched Shane help everyone in the town. They relied on him for so much. Being able to be a part of that, even if it was because of her father’s influence, not her own, felt good. Especially where Laura was concerned. In only the few weeks Phoebe had known her, Laura had treated her as though they’d been friends for life.

  21

  Slow is every foot on an unknown path.

  Irish proverb recorded in Fiona O’Malley’s Journal

  “Do you think there’s any truth to it?” Garret asked the question Shane had been asking himself since Beverly’s visit.

  “I don’t know. I wish I had the answer, but I really don’t know.”

  Garret nodded. “The medical examiner is still running blood tests. I have to tell you, nothing at the scene seemed out of place.” He rubbed at his forehead. “I did collect evidence at the scene, of course. I’m having that processed as well, but unfortunately, the labs are backed up as always.”

  Garret looked out the window of his office, jaw clenched, before turning back to Shane. “I’ll find the answer, but it might take time.”

  Shane nodded. He should have left, but found himself stuck to his chair.

  Garret turned and looked at him, a slow grin crossing his face.

  “What?” Shane asked, sounding a little like the sullen teenager he’d once been.

  “You want to ask me about Phoebe.”

  “Not true,” said Shane, resisting the urge to cross his arms. “I want to ask you about Ashley.”

  Now Garret laughed. “But you’re asking me about Ashley because you really want to know what you should do about Phoebe.”

  “I think you’re violating all kinds of man codes right now. You’re not supposed to laugh at a guy when he’s down.”

  “Screw that. I’ll laugh at you all I want. I’ll still tell you what to do, but I’ll laugh my ass off while I’m doing it.”

  “You done?” Shane asked.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m done. But you want to know if I had any qualms dating Ashley when she was involved in a case I was working?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I had a lot of qualms about it, and technically, my partner and I cleared her before we dated. But, you have to ask yourself if this feels different. If she’s just another girl or if you know this one might just go somewhere.”

  Shane didn’t have to ask himself. He knew the answer to that without thinking. Phoebe was different from everyone he’d dated. He liked the way he felt when he was with her. When he wasn’t with her, he was thinking about her. When she smiled or laughed, he felt like he’d won the lottery and he wanted to do it again.

  It was a total cliché, but she lived up to her name. She brought him pure joy.

  And when he’d kissed her? That had told him a lot. That one kiss had somehow been better than a hell of a lot of the sex he’d had in the past. He still hadn’t figured out how the hell that was possible. Shit, they’d been fully clothed and in public.

  Garret laughed again and Shane bit down on the urge to launch himself over the desk and strangle his friend.

  “Yeah,” Garret said. “There’s your answer.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  That just made Garret laugh harder.

  “You’re a dick,” Shane said as he walked out of the office, but he was grinning.

  22

  Enough and no waste is as good as a feast.

  Irish proverb recorded in Fiona O’Malley’s Journal

  “So, nobody in the town knows you guys do this?” Phoebe’s eyes lit with the excitement of someone who’d been let in on a secret.

  Shane watched her and thought about what he and Garret had talked about. He wanted her. He’d decided that. But he’d also figured out along the way that she wasn’t sure she wanted him. That left him with the challenge of trying to figure out how to get her on board with his plan.

  Would it be awful to make up excuses for them to work late into the night together?

  Shane shook the thought away. That had to qualify for sexual harassment. Sometimes it sucked being a lawyer. And a nice guy.

  “Have dinner with me.” The words came out of nowhere, but once they were out there, he realized it was the best move.

  Or not. Her head shot up from where she’d been looking over the papers again. “What?”

  He tugged the papers from her hand and set them down. “I was wrong. About the kiss. It wasn’t a mistake. We’re adults, and I like you. Clearly,” he grinned, “you like me.”

  She smirked and he couldn’t help but laugh. It had the effect he’d hoped for. It broke the tension between them that had been simmering all week.

  He quieted. “I like you a lot, Phoebe. I think it’s worth seeing where this goes. We can go to dinner a few times.” He took hold of her hand, lightly so she could pull it away if she wanted to, before gripping more firmly. “We’ll go to dinner, I’ll kiss you a few more times, you’ll like it. I promise.” He was teasing her, and it was working.

  Her teeth bit into her lip and she leaned toward him a fraction of an inch. It was enough.

  Shane slipped one hand into her curls and tilted her face to his, but didn’t kiss her. “We don’t have to let it enter the office. If things don’t work out, we’ll go back to what we were. Two people who work really well together and respect the hell ou
t of each other.”

  She looked at him a beat and he found himself holding his breath before she gave a small nod.

  Shane felt a smile break slowly and build across his face. “Yeah?”

  He inched closer and her breath hitched as she leaned in, closing the distance even more.

  “Yeah,” she breathed, and it was all he could do not to haul her closer and kiss her.

  Shane slid his hands down her torso and, slowly, to her hips. Then, he did the opposite of what every muscle in his body ached to do. He put a foot of distance between them.

  The stunned look on her face said she hadn’t expected the move. That only made him smile more. He had a feeling keeping Phoebe Joy on her toes was a very good thing. Hard, but good.

  “So, I’ll pick you up in your office at six?”

  She laughed. “No. Pick me up at my house at seven.”

  He made a mock grimace of pain and held his chest. “You’re going to make me wait an extra hour?”

  “I am,” she tossed over her shoulder as she walked out the door.

  23

  I’ve found a dear place filled with dear friends. I could ask for nothing more.

  Fiona O’Malley’s Journal

  Shane thought about calling Ashley, but looked at the clock. If he remembered correctly, she usually took her afternoon break from the library about the same time each day.

  “Margaret,” he said as he walked through the lobby, “I’m going to run out for about an hour.”

  She nodded and waved, moving the stacks of cards on her online solitaire game. She took her break about this time each day, too.

  Shane walked the three and a half blocks to the library, pulling open the front door to find Ashley coming out.

  “Hey, I was just coming to see if I could catch you on your break.”

  “I’m not sure I’m talking to you.” Ashley brushed past him and walked back out on the sidewalk.

  Shane followed. “What did I do now?”

  “It’s what you’re not doing.” She hitched her bag further up on her shoulder and scowled at him, walking toward the community center.

  “And what is that?”

  “You haven’t asked Phoebe out.” Ashley stopped and turned to him, hands on hips. “Look, I get you’re kind of chicken about it since you guys work together. I mean, yeah, dating your paralegal isn’t the best idea, but let’s face it, you’re not getting any younger.”

  Shane laughed at that as she eyed him up and down like he was some kind of geriatric case instead of a guy in his thirties. “I’m not, huh?”

  “No. You’re really not.” This was said with a shake of her head, as though her scan had come up wanting.

  “And I assume you’re going to tell me what to do?” It was in Ashley’s makeup to tell everyone in town what to do. In fact, she knew everything about everyone. He was hoping that would help him.

  “Yes. Ask Phoebe out. Anyone can see you guys are perfect for each other.”

  “Done.”

  She eyed him. “Really?”

  Shane gave a nod. “I just asked her out. We’re having dinner tonight.”

  “Huh.” Ashley looked almost disappointed, like she’d been looking forward to badgering him into following her advice.

  He grinned. “Sorry. I talked to Garret earlier and he convinced me.”

  “Oh. Well, I guess that’s okay then.”

  “So, you’re talking to me, then?”

  “Yup. What can I do for you?”

  Shane glanced around. They were standing on the sidewalk between the community center and the library.

  “Were you going to the community center?” He asked.

  “Yes.” She glanced over her shoulder. “I was going to run by and see if Haddie needed me to pick anything up for her when I go to the store later.”

  “Why don’t I go with you and we can talk after?”

  She shrugged a response before walking toward the center again. Shane knew his request had come out of nowhere, but he wanted to see what the center was like. Fiona spent time there. Maybe getting a sense of where she spent her days would help him understand more about what Beverly had been talking about.

  Even though he’d talked to Garret and he knew Garret would follow through, the conversation with Beverly had been weighing on him. She’d been right. As much as Shane believed it was possible Fiona had committed suicide because of the dementia she’d experienced, Fiona hadn’t been depressed. She’d been a woman who, as far as he could see, had been continuing with her life despite what she’d experienced. The conflict was troubling him.

  They walked into the front of the community center, which was primarily one large room. There were bathrooms and a few offices off to the right side, and a small kitchenette in a room at the end of the entrance hall. The rest was one large open area. One side held a variety of seating areas, couches and loveseats, as well as a few bistro style tables. Shane knew the kitchenette held a small automatic espresso machine because his office had been the one to donate it when the community center was looking for items during a remodel, two years before.

  Up near the front windows of the community center was a bank of computers where visitors could log on or attend classes offered throughout the month. The back corner of the room was a large open area where they held exercise classes, art classes, and other programs every day. From what he’d heard, they’d been doing a lot to pull in young people to work with the seniors. They started a tutoring program where the seniors tutored kids from the local schools, and they’d enlisted teenagers to come in and teach some of the classes to the seniors.

  There was a chorus of hellos for Ashley when she entered the room. It didn’t surprise Shane at all. Ashley was a little bit like the town’s daughter. She had come here as a teenager when the Walkers adopted her after leaving several hellish foster placements. Although Ashley’s love for the Walkers had always been clear, she was a bit of a wild child. She made high school interesting, to say the least.

  But she’d grown into someone the town could be—and was—proud of. She was the local librarian, but also friends to just about everyone and anyone who needed her. When she’d married Garret last year, and he’d taken over as chief of police, it had only solidified her position in town.

  They made their way over to the computer area, where Haddie sat in front of one of the computers practically giggling with the woman next to her.

  “Haddie,” Ashley said in the way one might talk to the kind of teenager Ashley had been. “I have a feeling that whatever you’re up to, it isn’t anything good.”

  The white-haired woman spun in her seat to face Ashley and Shane, a broad smile firmly in place. “You know it. We’re working on hacking the system so we can get porn on the center computers. They have some silly filter on here like we’re not all adults.”

  “Eeeeew.” Ashley’s comment echoed what was happening in Shane’s head, but he was beyond words. The word “porn” coming out of Haddie’s mouth had stopped him in his tracks.

  “We might be old, but were not dead yet.” Haddie laughed, but stopped when she saw Miriam, the director of the center standing frozen in place a few feet away. Miriam looked positively stricken.

  “I’m sorry, Miriam.” Haddie did sound sorry and Miriam nodded, her gaze flicking over all of them before walking away.

  Haddie and the woman sitting next to her shared a guilty look. “Miriam has taken Fiona’s death pretty hard. Most of us here tend to…” Haddie looked up as though thinking, “well, we tend to be a little more pragmatic about death. None of us are so far away from it anymore, and I guess we know that, so it’s become all the more important for us to focus on the here and now.”

  “Was Miriam close to Fiona?” Shane asked the question, knowing Fiona had mentioned Miriam to him a few times in their conversations. Fiona loved coming to the senior center, and seemed to like Miriam, from what he could tell. He wanted to know Haddie’s take on things, though.

  Anot
her woman called Haddie’s friend away from the computer bank and she wandered off to join their conversation before Haddie answered.

  “They were no closer than Miriam is close to all of us. She makes a point to get to know everyone, and takes good care of all of us here. She makes batches of teas for some of us. Medicinal stuff she says will help with aches and pains and whatnot. Knows which of us can have sugar in our cocoa and who needs that damned fake sweetener.”

  Shane saw Ashley raised a brow to Haddie and Haddie scowled her way. “Don’t worry, she gives me the damned fake shit. Anyway, she bakes for us and dotes on everyone, but I think Miriam is taking Fiona’s death hard because Fiona killed herself. It seems like Miriam is having a hard time handling that.”

  Haddie’s eyes crossed to where Miriam now floated among people working on paintings and sketches in an art class. “I have a feeling she’s taking it as a blow that Fiona wouldn’t have come to her or that she somehow didn’t see it coming.” Haddie looked up at them and shook her head. “Or I could be wrong. What do I know?”

  Ashley sat in the computer chair vacated by the other woman, and took Haddie’s hand in hers. “I don’t know, you always seem to read people pretty damned well if you ask me.”

  “Well, this was one that none of us read. I don’t think any of us saw Fiona doing this.”

  Shane sat in the chair on the other side of Haddie, unable to pass up the chance to ask her about Fiona. He was beginning to feel like he’d really screwed up, telling Garrett Fiona might have killed herself. Why had he been so quick to believe that if others weren’t? “She didn’t seem depressed about anything to you?”