Lost Truth

by Dawn Cook

  “Yes. Yes,” the captain grumbled. “Let me look at the ropes.”

  Alissa held out her hand as Strell did. Her mother’s ribbon draped from it. Grimacing, the captain took both strips. “Ya sure, lad?” he questioned.

  Strell gazed at her, his brown eyes almost black in the starlight. Looking eager and somewhat afraid, he nodded. “More sure than anything I’ve ever been sure about before.”

  “Aye,” the captain sighed. “I was, too.” Brow pinched, he placed Alissa’s and Strell’s hands together. With no fanfare, he took the ends and tied them to leave a short length of free ribbon between them. “All right. You’re married. Strell, if you leave her, she gets everything. Alissa, if you leave, he gets everything.” He frowned at both of them. “Agreed?”

  “I agree,” Strell said softly.

  “Me, too,” Alissa followed quickly.

  The captain dropped their bound hands, and Strell raised them to his lips, kissing her fingertips. “All right,” the older man grumbled. “You can kiss her proper, now.”

  Alissa turned to Strell in surprise. “That’s it? We’re married?”

  “On the coast,” Strell said, his eyes gleaming in the low light. “Where’s my sand?”

  The captain muttered something and pulled the bucket close. Never dropping her gaze, Strell kicked it over. “Hey!” the captain shouted, red-faced. “I told you no sand on my deck!”

  “I’ll sweep it up,” Strell said as he pulled Alissa forward. The grit ground into the decking as she stepped on it, and Captain Sholan made an ugly noise.

  “What do I do?” she whispered.

  Strell smiled. “Do what I do.” He bent to crouch, and awkward because of their bound hands, she did the same. The sand was cold as she scraped a handful into her bound palm. They rose together, smiling at the angry captain. With his free hand, Strell took off his hat and held it under their bound hands. Alissa wasn’t surprised when he sifted his sand into it. She did the same. The tightness of threatened tears took her.

  Connen-Neute stepped forward and took the hat from Strell. “May you be as productive as there are grains of sands on the dunes,” the young Master said, and she saw Strell mouthing the words with him, as if to insure he said them properly.

  “No!” the captain cried in a panic as Connen-Neute flung the sand across the upper deck. “The Navigator’s Wolves will eat you!” he shouted, choleric. “You will get every last grain! And then you’ll paint her!”

  Alissa didn’t care. “Now?” she questioned, pulling Strell closer. “Can I kiss you now?”

  “Not yet,” he answered as he took a teasing step back.

  As the captain fumed, Connen-Neute adjusted his Master’s vest, becoming even more official looking. “It is customary,” he said, his voice taking on the cadence of tradition, “that two rakus joining their lives should demonstrate their will by merging two wards of light.”

  Alissa glanced between Connen-Neute and Strell in alarm. “But Strell can’t make a ward of light—” she began, her words cutting off at Strell’s mischievous grin.

  “Watch me,” he said, leaning to reach his pack. Being tied to him, Alissa almost fell as the boat shifted and she caught her balance. He drew out his glass ball and handed it to her. She held it as he awkwardly took the ceramic jar Connen-Neute extended. Careful because of his one-handed state, he dribbled a swallow of fragrant oil into the small opening in the top of the glass ball. Her eyes widened, understanding why he had taken the time to light a flame by himself earlier. She set her tracings to make a light, not yet setting the ward into motion.

  Strell smiled, managing to look both sheepish and devious. Alissa held the glass globe as Strell used a dry stick of what smelled like mirth wood to transfer the flame from the lamp he started earlier to the globe. “Let me have it,” he whispered, taking the glowing ball from her. “And hurry. There isn’t enough air in there to keep it going for long.”

  Alissa’s breath came in a quick sound. “Make a field?” she questioned Connen-Neute.

  “Yes!” he exclaimed. “Put your light over his. Quick! Before it goes out!”

  Heart pounding, Alissa made a field of light no bigger than Strell’s mundane globe of fire. It took shape in her free hand. She held her breath as she placed it over Strell’s concoction of glass and flame. The captain and Hayden watched with wide eyes, but Connen-Neute sighed in satisfaction as the sphere glowed all the stronger. She flicked her gaze from the ball of light to Strell as it dimmed. She let her ward drop, and the night darkened.

  “Enough?” she breathed, feeling her body ache to be closer to Strell.

  Connen-Neute chuckled. “There’s more, but the entire ceremony takes three days. The only part mentioned by law is the wards of light. It’s the oldest.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” Alissa said, just wanting to feel Strell’s arms about her.

  Strell shook his head. “One more thing,” he said. Her knees felt weak as Strell handed the smoke-blackened globe to Connen-Neute. Fishing in his pocket, he shyly brought out a small ring of shining copper. Alissa’s eyes widened, and the warmth of tears trickled down one cheek. A ring. He had gotten her a ring.

  “How did you know?” she whispered, not trusting her voice to hold steady.

  He grinned behind his beard. “Legal and binding no matter where we go, Alissa. You aren’t going to slip my snare in any shape or fashion.”

  “But I don’t have one for you—” she said as she wiped her cheek. Then she stopped. Redal-Stan’s watch. Awkward because of having only the one free hand, she ducked out of the cord she kept his ring on about her neck. The captain stooped forward, and flicking his eyes to hers for permission, cut the cord in two. Heart pounding, she faced Strell.

  He seemed unable to meet her eyes as he slid the copper ring about her finger on her free hand. Hands shaking, she put Redal-Stan’s watch on his finger. It didn’t fit him either. Strell looked down at the oversized band of metal, then smiled at her with bright eyes.

  “Are we done and legal-like?” the captain grumbled. “We’re coming to the first island.”

  “Yes,” Strell said, pulling her close. She looked up at him, and he kissed her with a relaxed tenderness, as if there was nothing—now or ever—that would stand between them again. His emotions of fulfillment flowed through her, easing every thought away. She leaned into him, reaching up to pull him closer. Her eyes opened as the boat shifted to throw her off balance.

  “No!” she exclaimed, pulling away as she realized the boat held steady. It was her knee coming up to Strell’s groin that had thrown her off balance. “Beast!” she shouted into her thoughts, shocked at the fierce determination she found herself running into.

  “Gotcha,” Strell whispered, catching her knee with his free hand. He had been expecting it. Alissa was wide-eyed and grateful. As she stood unbalanced on one foot, he leaned forward and gave her another, teasing kiss. Alissa gasped a warning as Beast shifted her hand to slap him. But it was the one tied to him, and she couldn’t move fast enough.

  Grinning, Strell pulled her closer. Her face flamed as the captain made a loud guffaw. “They all turn into contrary beasts once they know they’ve got you, my lad. I tried to warn you.”

  Strell searched her eyes carefully as he released her and took a step back. “I expected that, Captain. Can I borrow your rowboat?”

  28

  “Ow!” Strell cried. Holding his nose, he leaned from Alissa with a hurt, resigned look.

  Humiliated, Alissa loosened the fist her hand had clenched into. “Strell, I’m sorry,” she pleaded. Deep in her thoughts, she could hear Beast seething. Alissa said nothing to her feral consciousness. There was nothing left that she hadn’t already said. “Just—just stay away from me!” Alissa exclaimed, turning her back on him with a sudden frustration. He had only been holding her as they watched the sunrise. He hadn’t even tried to kiss her.

  Strell sighed and moved a shade down from her on the fallen tree they were leanin
g against. They had been here most of the night watching the stars move behind the main island where the rest of the conclave lay sleeping. But now the stars were gone, washed away in the light of the sun like her hopes in the cold slap of reality.

  Their evening had been mostly talk as they had set up a rude shelter against the daily rain. Talk was all Beast would allow now. It was frustrating, especially when the more conscious Strell was about not triggering Beast’s anger, the more aware of him Beast became. “He is trying to ground you,” was all she would say, her thoughts tinged with an unreasonable fury.

  Alissa sniffed at Strell’s heavy sigh. He glanced wryly at her as he ran a hand over his beard. “It’s all right, Alissa,” he said. He dabbed at his nose, tucking the cloth away before she could decide if she had bloodied his nose or not.

  “It’s not all right,” she moaned. “It’s my wedding night, and . . . and . . . nothing happened!” She felt the tears prick, and her head drooped. “Lodesh said Beast would do this,” she said miserably. She had been awake most of the night, and she was sleepy and weepy from her fatigue and unfulfilled anticipation.

  Strell chuckled, making her more depressed. “Lodesh knows only half of it,” he said, and she looked up through her wavering vision. Smiling, Strell wiped his wide thumb under her eye. His shoulders eased when she didn’t hit him. “He forgets I’m a minstrel,” he murmured.

  “What do you mean?” she asked, sniffing loudly.

  “I mean we’re going to figure this out. Or Beast is going to go to sleep. Or perhaps when things calm down, I’ll be able to charm her, maybe?”

  “I will not sleep,” Beast vowed.

  Alissa ignored her. “Do you think so?” she said, hope making her voice quaver.

  “I’m sure of it. Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll be there as soon as the fire is set.”

  A flush of emotion went through her at his words. “I’ll be there,” he had said. Together. Under the same roof. Married. Ashes, what if their feet touched? “All right,” she said, rising to her feet and brushing her skirt free of sand.

  A fluttering of wings drew her eyes up to the trees. She went cold as a kestrel landed, bobbing on a long leaf. “Talon,” she whispered. “We forgot about Talon.” The bird dropped to her fist, calling loudly and worrying her fingers. There was a slice of red fruit in her claws, and she seemed insufferably pleased with herself as she shoved the sticky thing into Alissa’s grip.

  Alissa’s brow pinched. “Go away!” she shouted, waving her hand. Talon took flight with an indignant squawk. She perched in a nearby tree to chitter accusingly as the fruit fell to the sand, spoilt. Alissa turned to Strell, desperation making her stomach clench.

  “I’ll just tie her up,” Strell said, grinning. “I’m more worried about Beast.”

  “No,” Alissa cried, backing up into the shade of the trees. “They’ll follow her!”

  Strell’s face went slack. “Wolves,” he swore, standing up and kicking sand into the fire.

  But it was too late.

  Howling like one of the Navigator’s Wolves, Keribdis landed on the beach. Sand gouted into the air to land in knee-high drifts. Terrified, Alissa froze. The raku shifted, and Keribdis stood before her, dressed in crimson and stiff with fury. “It is sunrise,” the woman all but hissed.

  Alissa’s mouth moved, but nothing came out. A hundred, flippant answers died in fear.

  “Get in the air,” Keribdis said coldly, her voice leaving no room for debate.

  “No,” Alissa stammered, backing up until she found Strell gripping her shoulders.

  Keribdis took a step closer. “Get—in—the—air.”

  Frightened, Alissa shook her head. Keribdis was the Hold’s best flyer. Alissa wouldn’t go into her element. Keribdis wanted to prove her dominance, and in the air, she could do it.

  Keribdis shifted in a swirl of gray. “Get in the air!” she shouted into Alissa’s mind.

  “Go,” Beast whispered privately, and Alissa started at the feel of her anticipation and eagerness. Panicked, Alissa shifted. She heard Strell’s cry of warning, but she couldn’t think. She could only react. She had to flee.

  “Now we will begin our lesson,” Keribdis said as Alissa coalesced. The Master’s thoughts were tinged with bloodlust.

  Alissa leapt into the air. Beast took control, and Alissa welcomed it, almost weeping. “She’s a fool to think she can outfly us,” Beast thought. Alissa said nothing, frightened at the strength of Beast’s desire to best Keribdis.

  Wings straining, they flew. Beast rode the wind, acutely aware of Keribdis behind them. As Alissa panicked in a distraught frenzy, Beast confidently raced forward. Heart pounding, they rose. It was a game to Beast. She lived to fly, and at last had found a worthy playmate.

  High above the ocean, Beast casually craned Alissa’s long neck to find Keribdis effortlessly keeping up. Keribdis’s lips pulled back from her teeth. The older raku lunged. Her teeth snapped on air as Beast darted to the left, anticipating her.

  A whining growl of annoyance came from Keribdis. The raku angled to rise above them. Beast let her. Howling in satisfaction, Keribdis dropped, her talons spread.

  Beast folded their wings and they fell like a stone. A wave of fright assaulted Alissa at the strength of the wind. “Fly!” she cried into Beast’s thoughts as the water grew close.

  “I am,” Beast said, her thoughts humming with a savage passion.

  Keribdis followed. Her intent thoughts spilled into Alissa’s. Keribdis had to catch her. It was all the older raku existed for. The water grew close. Alissa felt a stab of doubt creep into Keribdis’s thoughts. Alissa, too, tensed. “Now!” she shrieked. “Beast, now!”

  Almost as one, the two rakus spread their wings—Keribdis a telling heartbeat sooner. Pain arched through Alissa’s shoulders as the wind slammed against the canvas of her wings. Beast roared in satisfaction as she sped horizontally against the waves. She spun in a glorious barrel roll, dipping the tip of her tail in the water so as to maintain her awareness of how close she was to the trap it could be.

  Howling as if insane, Keribdis lunged. Beast darted. There was a grunt of pain as Keribdis’s foot hit the water. The raku behind them put on a burst of speed; Beast matched it. Keribdis swung her tail to hit her; Beast tilted her head and nipped it. There was a cry of rage.

  And then Beast turned her attention to the sky and climbed. Alissa knew Beast’s intent even before Beast did. She was going to fly higher than Keribdis, proving to everyone watching that she was stronger than Keribdis.

  They rose higher, and Keribdis took an audible, gasping breath. It sounded ragged. She was struggling to maintain the steep ascent. The raku’s sudden panic was clear and unmistakable. A wave of gratification poured from Beast into Alissa, pooling to swallow her fear. Alissa looked behind them, hope and relief making her brave.

  Beast was the better flier. She couldn’t be dominated by physical strength as Keribdis had done to everyone else. Age and Beast’s instinctive reactions had brought the old matriarch to a shocking realization. She was old.

  “No!” Keribdis shrieked into their thoughts. Anger, jealousy, and frustration slammed into Alissa and Beast. Shocked at the mental assault, Beast faltered. She knew how to fly; she had no understanding of this. Beast’s hesitation was only for a heartbeat, but Keribdis saw it.

  “You’re mine!” the old raku growled into their thoughts. A phantom pain exploded in Alissa’s mind, shocking through her and Beast to send their wings into spasms. An echo of pain, real this time, came from her tail. Alissa gasped as Beast staggered in flight. Her feral consciousness was unable to cope with the mental assault.

  Alissa felt the terrifying cessation of speed. They were going to stall. “This is my pain,” Alissa said. Steeling herself, she opened her thoughts. She took the entirety of the agony to free Beast from her confusion. Alissa heard herself cry out as Keribdis’s illusion of pain burned through her mind, unfettered. She felt her eyes bulge and her lungs ache as
she screamed to find a release, but Beast was free of it.

  “Let go of my tail . . .” Alissa heard Beast whisper savagely, pushing her feral thoughts deep into Keribdis’s. “You are old. You are done.” A snarl rolled. “And you cheat.”

  Alissa’s agony vanished with a shocking suddenness. The sensation was so quick and somehow violent that Alissa gasped, almost passing out. Beast flipped them end over end, doubling back. Her talons were spread wide. Keribdis hovered in midair, clearly stunned at having recognized the feral beast in Alissa’s thoughts.

  Beast slammed into Keribdis, raking her lower claws into her. Beast fought, aiming for Keribdis’s eyes. Pain jolted Keribdis into action. Screaming as Beast found her face, Keribdis bit down. Fire exploded from Alissa’s wing. She took the pain, leaving Beast free of it.

  Golden wings beat against each other as they dropped. “I don’t like you,” Beast seethed. And then they hit the sand.

  They broke apart from the fall. Gasping for air, Beast rolled them upright. Alissa panicked as she couldn’t breathe. Hunched into a crouch, Alissa struggled to make her lungs work. Her wings lay in a disarray, mixing with the sand.

  Keribdis stood on her haunches, her wings spread awkwardly. Blood ran from her leg and from under her eye to stain the sand. “I don’t care if you like me or not,” she said. Snarling, she swung her tail, whipping it in a power-filled strike to hit the back of Alissa’s head.

  Alissa fell without a sound.

  29

  “Another one,” Strell said tersely. He impatiently held out a hand for Connen-Neute’s mentally crafted scarf. His eyes were on the sky. Alissa was toying with Keribdis. Or Beast was, he thought, feeling helpless on the ground.

  A shimmering length of red silk appeared in his palm, and he broke his gaze from Alissa for the heartbeat it took to tie it to the end of the makeshift rope.

  “It’s long enough,” Connen-Neute said. “Get in the boat.”