Wish

by Deborah Bladon

  “Nothing has changed, Kate,” I say even though, for me, everything has changed.

  I’ve fallen in love.

  I realized it for the first time last night on the roof when we saw the shooting star.

  I wished for a lifetime with him.

  It brought a tear to my eye and when he kissed me tenderly afterwards, I felt a sense of calmness I’ve never experienced before.

  She turns to look at me. “You’re in love with him.”

  I scrub my hand over my face as if that will wipe away whatever she’s seeing. “Why would you say that?”

  She runs her fingers through her long hair. “Because it’s the truth. It’s obvious to me. It must be obvious to him.”

  I look toward the zoo. It’s become one of my favorite spots in Central Park. “It’s not obvious to him.”

  “So you are in love with him?” Her voice is hopeful.

  I nod without turning in her direction. “I don’t know when it happened, but it did.”

  “Love is like that.” She sighs. “It creeps up on you and before you know it, you’re lost to it.”

  “What am I supposed to do now?” I chuckle. “I fell in love with a man who has made it very clear that he’s not looking for love.”

  “You talk to him.” She turns to face me. “You tell him what you’re feeling.”

  “It will change everything between us.” My voice trembles. “He’ll probably move out.”

  “Or he might surprise you.”

  I arch a brow in silent query.

  “He might feel the same way about you.” She tilts her head. “You have nothing to lose by telling him, Tilly.”

  “I’ll lose what we have now,” I point out.

  She watches as a woman with a stroller walks past us. “Or you’ll lose the chance for more. You won’t know how he’ll react unless you tell him exactly what you feel.”

  I look back toward the zoo. “I’ll think about it. Are you ready to visit some animals?”

  She stands and twirls in place, her long blonde hair flying in the light wind. “How do I look? Do you think they’ll like me as much as they like you?”

  I laugh as I link arms with her. “They’ll love you as much as I do.”

  ***

  “Fuck.” Sebastian slams his fist into a cushion that’s next to him on the sofa. “Goddammit.”

  I heard him come in when I was on a video call with Frannie. That was ten minutes ago. My sister insisted on telling me all about the wedding dresses she’s picked out online for Maya.

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Maya has scheduled another consultation appointment with Kate. When she walked past Katie Rose Bridal the other day she saw the new selection of dresses in the window display.

  She believes she’ll find the perfect one with the help of my best friend.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask tentatively from where I’m standing next to my bedroom door. “Did something happen, Sebastian?”

  I can tell by his reaction that’s he startled. “You’re home? I thought you were hanging out with Kate all day.”

  The bite in his tone sets me back a step. “We hung out earlier. I came home to see if you wanted to get take-out and maybe watch a movie.”

  “I can’t stay.” He drops his head back onto the sofa. His knees vibrate under his black dress pants. “I’m sorry. I forgot my wallet this morning so I stopped in to pick it up.”

  I cross the room with quick steps and settle in next to him. “We’ll have dinner another time.”

  “I wish to fuck I could spend the night with you.” His hand lands on my thigh. The sleeves of his white dress shirt are rolled up to his elbows. His muscular forearm tenses as he squeezes my leg. “On days like this I wonder why the hell I joined the force.”

  “Why did you?” I ask, wondering if he’ll confirm what Darrell told me about feeling a sense of duty to his dad.

  “To make the city a better place?” He huffs out a strained laugh. “To do the right thing?”

  I inch closer until I can rest my head on his shoulder.

  He groans audibly when he tugs me into his side. “When I’m here with you the world disappears. I forget all the bullshit, all the pain.”

  I lean forward to place a soft kiss on his mouth. “I want to take all of your pain away.”

  He cups my face, his blue eyes searing into mine. “I want that too, Matilda. Fuck, I want that.”

  Just as his lips brush mine, his cell phone rings.

  “Duty calls.” He closes his eyes. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

  “I know.” I kiss him one last time before he scoops his phone into his palm and answers it on his way out the door.

  Chapter 45

  Tilly

  “Again, Tilly.” Frannie follows those words with a clap of her hands in front of the camera. “You’ve been living in dreamland since you left San Francisco. Is it because of Boyd?”

  “Boyd?” I lean closer to my phone, so my sister can see the roll of my eyes. “Why would you bring him up?”

  “I know he sent you flowers.”

  “You know?” I sit up straighter on my bed. “How do you know?”

  “He called me to ask what color roses are your favorite,” she says proudly.

  I have no choice but to wipe that smug look off of her face. “My favorite roses are white.”

  Just like the ones Sebastian bought.

  Did he know? Could he have known they were my favorite?

  I make a mental note to ask Maya if he asked her.

  “No. Our favorite roses are pink,” she says matter-of-factly.

  I bow my head. I know why she thinks that. Our parents used to send us a dozen roses to share on our birthdays when we were teenagers. They were always pink, Frannie’s favorite.

  I mentioned to my dad once that I thought white roses were the most beautiful. I was fourteen, and on our fifteenth birthday, another dozen roses were delivered to Frannie and me.

  They were pink, all twelve of them.

  “I like white roses.” I sigh.

  Her brows pinch together. “You do? Really?”

  She’s surprised. Frannie has always felt that we are identical in every way. It’s one of the main reasons she took my break-up with Boyd just as hard as I did. She always believed that I’d marry Grant’s best friend and we’d live in houses next door to each other, having children who would be not only cousins but best friends.

  “You shouldn’t have encouraged Boyd to send me the flowers.” I rub my forehead. “I’m not interested in him, Fran.”

  “I saw the way you two were looking at each other when you were here.” She bats her eyelashes. “If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

  What I feel for Sebastian. That’s love.

  I clear my throat. “I’m never getting back together with him.”

  “You say that now, Tilly, but…”

  I raise my hand to stop her. “Fran. No. It won’t happen. Boyd and I will never happen.”

  She closes her eyes, resting the palms of her hands against them. “I always thought you’d marry him and he’d bring you home.”

  “Frannie?” I say her name tentatively. “Look at me.”

  She drops her hands and attempts a weak smile.

  “I am home.” I push my hair back over my shoulder. “This is my home. I belong here now. I’m building my life here.”

  “I miss you.” She pinches the bridge of her nose.

  “I’m a video call away. You can come visit me anytime you want. I’ll come back to see you when I get more time off.” I smile softly. “But I need to live here.”

  She nods softly. “I know you’re not coming back. I know your life is there now.”

  I look into her eyes; the eyes that have mirrored mine my entire life. “It doesn’t matter where I live, Fran. We’ll always be sisters.”

  “Twins,” she corrects me. “Our bond is special.”

  I watch her closely. Her gaze darts to som
ething to her left before she cracks a wide smile. “Do you need to go make a baby, Fran?”

  “How did you know? Grant just walked into our bedroom and he doesn’t have a shirt on.” A blush creeps over her cheeks.

  I smile, wondering if that’s what I looked like the first night I saw Sebastian.

  “Get the job done.” I lean closer to my phone. “I love you.”

  She presses her lips to the screen of her tablet in a kiss. “I love you too. Find all your happiness there, Tilly. I want that for you.”

  I want that for me too.

  ***

  “I’m here to see the most beautiful woman in the world.” His lips graze over the nape of my neck.

  I stretch but don’t open my eyes. I can’t out of fear that I’m dreaming.

  I fought to stay awake until one a.m. hoping that Sebastian would come home. When he didn’t, I stripped to my panties, crawled between the sheets of my bed and fell fast asleep.

  His strong arms circle me to pull me back and into his bare chest. I can tell that he’s nude. His erection is resting against me.

  “Unless you’re the hottest man on the planet, I’m asleep.”

  He chuckles and the deep rumble courses through me. “Only you can decide if that’s who I am.”

  “I say it’s you and only you,” I whisper.

  “That makes me the luckiest man who ever walked the face of this earth.” He inches even closer.

  I take his hand from where it’s pressed on my stomach and glide it lower.

  “You want to come,” he rasps.

  I whimper when I feel his fingers brush the lace of my panties. “I want to feel.”

  He pulls me close, holding my body against his. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

  “What things?” I suck in a deep breath.

  “Things like this.” He pushes my panties aside to rest the length of his cock between the cheeks of my ass.

  I moan. “No condom.”

  “I know,” he hisses. “I won’t.”

  “What other things?” I manage to ask as his finger finds my clit.

  His breath runs hot over my neck. “All of this and more.”

  “More?” I can barely form the word. I’m edging toward an orgasm already. It’s all the pent up need I’ve felt since the last time his hands were on me.

  “You know.” He glides his finger down. “Move your leg.”

  His tone is rough, needy. It’s filled with raw desire.

  I rest my leg over his. My panties are askew, half exposing my pussy. His heavy cock is pinned between us; rigid and thick.

  “That’s it.” He slides a long finger inside of me. “You’re going to fuck my fingers. You’re going to use me.”

  “Oh God,” I pant, pure need taking over.

  I reach down to grab hold of his wrist as I grind myself against his hand while he mouths silent words into the heated skin of my shoulder.

  I ride his hand shamelessly, moaning with each thrust, groaning when he slides another finger inside of me, and then another.

  “I’m going to come,” I whisper in a trembling voice as the orgasm bears down on me.

  His lips move from my shoulder. “You’re mine. Only mine.”

  The words push me to the edge. I clench around his fingers as I climax with a loud cry.

  He groans, his body shakes and I feel the warmth of his release as it hits my skin.

  “Jesus, Matilda.” His breath is ragged. “That was incredible.”

  It was. It was intense and emotional, raw and powerful.

  “Sleep,” he whispers as he pulls me close again. “Sleep in my arms and dream about me.”

  “I always dream about you.”

  “Never stop.” There’s a tremor in his voice. “And I’ll never stop dreaming about you.”

  Chapter 46

  Sebastian

  “You can’t solve anything by sitting on your ass, partner.”

  Partner. It’s one of the last times I’m going to hear that word coming from Brant. He’s packing up his desk. This is his last shift and then he’s Chicago bound.

  “You’d know that better than anyone, wouldn’t you?” I bite back. “You spent more time in that chair the past few months than I’ve spent in mine the past four years.”

  “I solved a case or two.” He places a framed picture of Remy into a cardboard box. “Homicide isn’t in my DNA like it is in yours.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” My chin lifts.

  “Everyone on the force knows that your grandfather paved the way.” He looks over at the lieutenant’s office. “He held down this fort. Your dad made it to Detective Third-Grade. You were destined to land in that chair. It’s called fate, Sebastian.”

  My grandfather was at the helm of homicide for more than five years before he took early retirement. The rigors of the job followed him out the door.

  He suffered a fatal heart attack right after I joined the academy.

  My father’s dream of three generations of Wolf men on the force died with my grandfather on a rainy Wednesday evening.

  “It’s not DNA,” I scoff. “It’s a commitment to serve the fine people of this city.”

  He tosses a silver pen into the box. “Finally all the pieces fit together.”

  I cock a brow. “What pieces?”

  “I’m a detective, so I’m trained to observe.” His hands drop to his hips. “You’ve been talking to someone about switching things up. My bet is on a run for City Council after that canned statement you just delivered. Or are you going to sprint right to the finish line and throw your hat into the Mayor’s race? I’ve got to admit I’m surprised you’re walking away from all of this.”

  My head falls back as I laugh. “You’ve been listening to my phone conversations?”

  “Dude, I’m less than ten feet away from you all shift.” He opens his desk drawer and pulls out a box of candy bars. “It’s not like you’re trying to be covert. You knew damn well I could hear you.”

  “You’re an asshole.” I wave my hand toward him. “Give me one of those.”

  He tosses the entire box on my desk. “Consider it a parting gift.”

  I nod. “I’ll put these to good use.”

  “Liar.” He rubs his stomach. “I never took you up on that offer to hit the gym. That’s why I’m sporting a belly and you look like an Adonis.”

  “An Adonis?” I rip open one of the candy bar wrappers and take a bite. “You’re creeping me out, Brant.”

  He holds both hands up. “Remy’s sister’s words, not mine. She saw you at the wedding. I’ve been fielding questions about your relationship status ever since.”

  I don’t ask what he told the woman because I don’t care.

  I have zero interest in anyone other than Matilda.

  It’s been two days since I’ve seen her. The last time was when I crawled into her bed and brought her to orgasm with my hand.

  The experience was raw and intense. I’m still riding the high of what I felt; what I feel for her.

  “I told her you’re in love with the woman you brought to the wedding.” He places the lid on the box. “Matilda, right?”

  “Matilda,” I repeat her name back.

  He holds up his right hand. “Before you ask how I know that you’re in love with her, I didn’t hear you confessing that to anyone on the phone. I saw it. In the way you looked at her and in the way she looked at you.”

  I toss the candy bar wrapper into the trashcan next to my desk. “I’m not going to correct you about how I feel, Sam.”

  “Good.” He pats his hand on the top of the box. “I’m happy for you.”

  I stand. “You’re going to stay safe in Chicago.”

  “I will.” He tucks his hands into the front pockets of his black dress pants. “Where you headed, Sebastian?”

  I look around the squad room. It’s home. It’s been my home for the past four years, but things change. I’ve changed.

  “
Not to Chicago,” I divert the question since I don’t want the entire division to know my plans before my lieutenant does.

  He laughs, pushing his hand toward mine. “That’s a shame. It’s been good working next to you. You’re one of the best.”

  “You’ll do good, Brant.” I shake his hand. “Take care of yourself.”

  “You too, Detective Wolf. You too.”

  I look down when my cell phone chimes.

  Alan: You got time for a coffee today?

  I glance up to see Brant rounding the corner before he slips out of view. That’s another partner gone; another chapter of my life that is over.

  Sebastian: You doing ok?

  I stare at the screen waiting for his response.

  Alan: Nah, man. It’s been a rough one. Today kicked my ass.

  Sebastian: I’ll be at diner around the corner from your place in twenty minutes.

  His reply comes through almost immediately.

  Alan: You’re the best. Seriously.

  I slide my phone into the pocket of my suit jacket and head out the door.

  I’m not the best. I’m trying to do my best.

  I don’t know if it’s enough.

  Chapter 47

  Tilly

  “I need to take you out for lunch one day this week as a huge thank you, Tilly.” Carolyn sits in the chair next to me in the break room.

  “It’s my job to go over post-operative care with the clients.” I push the small fruit salad I brought with me for lunch toward her. “Feel free to indulge. I packed way too much food for myself.”

  She pops a green grape into her mouth and chews. “I was talking about the set-up with Darrell. He’s a great guy.”

  I gave her his number two days ago. I’m a little surprised that she’s called him and gone on a first date within the past forty-eight hours. “I don’t know him all that well, but I get a sense that he’s one of the good ones.”

  “He is.” She picks up a piece of apple and takes a small bite. “He had a lot of complimentary things to say about both you and Sebastian.”

  I’m sure that everything positive Darrell said about me was limited to how well I cared for his dog. Sebastian is another story.