Wish

by Deborah Bladon

  It would take one phone call to Julian for me to find out everything I could possibly want to know about the man I’m crazy about. The problem is that Sebastian and I haven’t discussed when we’ll tell Maya and her fiancé about us, or what we’ll tell them about us.

  We haven’t defined our relationship at all, beyond roommates and friends.

  “The last time I saw Darrell we talked about Sebastian too.” I shift in my seat.

  “Cooper even talks about Sebastian with me. The man has quite the fan club.” She laughs as she slides the plastic container of fruit across the table toward me.

  I snap the lid back on. “They had a great time together the night we watched Coop.”

  “Sebastian stopped by here yesterday when you were in with a patient.” She eyes the clock on the wall. “He had a solar system book in his hands. He wanted me to give it to Coop. We must have read that thing ten times last night before bed.”

  I’m both shocked and surprised by the gesture. “I didn’t know that.”

  “He was here to see you.” She turns her head to look back at the break room door. “You didn’t catch up with him after work?”

  I shake my head. “Our schedules haven’t matched up this week.”

  “If I were the one in charge here, I’d give you a day off just to spend with him.”

  I wring my hands together. “I can’t tell you how much I wish you could make that happen.”

  “You’re falling for him, aren’t you?”

  “I have fallen.” I laugh. “I’m gone over the edge and there’s no coming back.”

  “Good.” She pushes to her feet. “With any luck, I’ll be the next one to fall in love.”

  ***

  “I heard that you brought a book to the clinic for Cooper.” I rest my head against his right shoulder.

  “Office gossip?” Sebastian cocks a dark brow.

  I blink. “What do you think?”

  His hand cups my cheek. “I think I want to stay in this apartment with you forever. Can you make that happen?”

  I nod my chin in the direction of the kitchen. “You’ll find a hammer and a package of nails under the sink. Put your big muscles to good use and nail the door shut.”

  He flexes his left arm under the T-shirt he’s wearing. “These muscles?”

  “Jesus,” I whisper.

  His tongue strokes his bottom lip. “I’ve missed you, Matilda. It’s been hell not seeing you for days.”

  It’s been hell for me too.

  Every day that we’re apart, my heart aches.

  I need to tell this man how I feel, but there’s still this nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that I’ll scare him away if I bring up the L word.

  Love.

  I need to do it soon though. My heart is about to burst open.

  “I have a day off on Thursday.” My gaze holds his. “Tell me that you do too.”

  He brushes a strand of my hair back from my cheek before he kisses me softly. “I do, Matilda, but…”

  “But?” I almost scream that I don’t care what it is. I want this man to myself for more than an hour or two at a time. I want to have a chance to tell him that I’m in love with him without him rushing out the door.

  “I have somewhere I need to be.”

  Somewhere that isn’t with me.

  “Where?” I ask because I’m on the cusp of begging him to spend Thursday with me.

  He closes his eyes and rubs his forehead. “Trust me when I tell you that if I could cancel it, I would, but I can’t. It’s been in the works for months.”

  “Is it work related?” I press as I tug on the hem of my white T-shirt.

  “It’s related to my future.” The pad of his thumb skims over my bottom lip. “You’ve helped me see that anything is possible.”

  I love knowing that and I want it to be true.

  I want to believe that anything is possible.

  “Can you give me one more hint about where you’ll be on Thursday?” I nip his thumb between my teeth.

  He pulls it back and sucks on it. “I’ll give you a hint of where I’ll be in two minutes.”

  I laugh. “You’ll be right here beside me.”

  He moves fast. He grabs my waist, picks me up and tosses me on my back on the sofa before he lowers himself to his knees on the floor.

  His breath travels hot over my inner thigh before he kisses the outside of my panties. “I’ll be tasting this in two minutes, Matilda. Tasting my heaven.”

  I close my eyes when I feel him slide my panties down and when his tongue lashes at my tender flesh, I get lost in my desire.

  Everything else slips away.

  Chapter 48

  Tilly

  “This is for me?”

  Bending over, Sebastian kisses me lightly. “This is all for you.”

  I look down at the wooden tray he placed in front of me when he came walking into his bedroom.

  There’s a glass of orange juice, one piece of toast and scrambled eggs.

  I’m ravenous.

  We had the most amazing night. We made love on the sofa and then showered together. Before we went to bed, we took a quick visit to the roof to gaze at the stars.

  He sits on the bed next to me. He’s already dressed in a navy blue suit and a blue dress shirt.

  I have no idea what time it is, but judging by how dark it is outside still, I doubt that dawn has broken.

  “Tell me what you do at work, Matilda.” He picks up the glass of juice and takes a small sip. “Sometimes in the middle of my day, I stop to imagine what you’re doing right at that minute.”

  I touch the edge of the toast, my hand suddenly trembling. “No two days are ever alike. I suppose, in that way, my job is like your job.”

  His hand grazes my chin. “Do you know how many times I’ve walked past Premier Pet Care in the past few years?”

  “Once or twice?” I take a small bite of toast.

  “Dozens.” He gazes into my eyes. “Maybe even more. I had no idea you were right inside.”

  “When did Maya first tell you she had a sister?”

  His mouth curves. “Julian told me. He told me that she had twin sisters. I wanted an introduction right away.”

  “You did?” That surprises me. Maya had mentioned Sebastian and Griffin, Julian’s other close friend, early on in their relationship but I was focused on the men I was matched with on my dating apps.

  Once I heard that Sebastian was a police officer, I told Maya I wasn’t interested. It was my track record with members of the NYPD that pushed me to decide not to go on a blind date with Sebastian. Now, I’m regretting it because I wasted so much time that I could have spent with him.

  “I knew that Maya was an incredible woman, so it made sense to me that you would be too.”

  “Maya adores you.” I take a bite of eggs. “She talked about you non-stop before we met.”

  “What did she tell you?” He wipes his finger over the corner of my mouth.

  “That you were kind and funny.”

  “Kind and funny?” he balks with a grin. “No wonder you didn’t want to hookup with me. She made me sound like I’m boring as hell.”

  “She made you sound incredible.” I caress my hand over his cheek. “You are incredible.”

  “You’ll never stop thinking that, will you?”

  How could I? I’ll never meet another man like him. I’ll never love anyone the same way I love him.

  “Never.”

  “The best decision I’ve ever made was moving into this bedroom.” He pats the blanket. “My life changed that day.”

  “Mine too.” I push my hair back from my cheek.

  His gaze darts to the clock on his bedside table. “I have a meeting before work.”

  I look back at the time. “It’s six.”

  “I’m sorry I woke you.” His chin dips. “I’ve imagined what it would be like to make you breakfast in bed and today I had the urge. You can go back to sleep until it’s
time for you to go to work.”

  “Who are you meeting so early?” I breathe. “Most of the city is still asleep.”

  I see the hesitation in his eyes. It’s so apparent that I’m tempted to tell him to forget it, but I don’t. I wait in silence for an answer to my question.

  “My lieutenant,” he answers succinctly. “I need to go over a few things with her, so we’re meeting at a diner for breakfast.”

  “I wish you could stay here with me.” I inch the sheet that’s been covering me down to expose my breasts.

  His gaze follows the path of the sheet. “I wish I could too. You make it hard for me to leave.”

  I lean forward to brush my lips against his. “One day will you tell me all your secrets, Sebastian?”

  The question catches his breath. He stills with his lips hovering over mine. “Only if you promise they won’t chase you away.”

  “I promise,” I whisper into the air between us before he presses his lips to mine for a slow, sweet kiss.

  Chapter 49

  Sebastian

  “You picked a hell of a time to fall in love.” Liam lowers himself into one of the armchairs in his living room.

  My brother lives on the Lower East Side in a one bedroom with a view of the East River. It’s decorated with large pieces of leather furniture and reclaimed wood tables.

  All of the artwork on the walls is personal to him.

  There’s a framed drawing that our niece, Winter, did for his birthday. It’s nothing more than little scribbles from some brightly colored crayons. To Liam, it’s a masterpiece.

  A series of photographs line the hallway to his bedroom and bathroom. Those are of our family. Of all my siblings, Liam is the most sentimental; his heart is the softest.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I bite back with a scowl.

  “You’ve got a lot going on right now, Sebastian.” He leans forward to rest his forearms on his jean-covered thighs. “You just sold your place. Your partner quit and two of your best friends are getting married.”

  I set my phone down on his coffee table. “What does any of that have to do with what I’m feeling for Matilda?”

  He purses his lips. “It’s not uncommon for people to look for an anchor when their life is turbulent.”

  “You think I’m using Matilda to find some sense of stability in my life?”

  He holds up a hand to stop me from saying more. “I’ve known you for twenty-eight-years. This is the first time I’ve ever heard you express more than a passing interest in a woman.”

  “This is the first time I’ve ever met anyone like her, Wolf.”

  He pauses for a beat. “I want this for you. It seems fast, Sebastian. You haven’t known her that long.”

  “It’s long enough to know she’s the one for me.” I close my eyes. “She’s always with me. I feel her with me now. There’s a feeling of peace inside of me that’s never been there before. I would lay down my life for this woman.”

  “Does she feel the same way about you?” His tone softens.

  I huff out a laugh. “I sure as hell hope so. We’ve been dancing around our feelings for weeks.”

  “You’re joking?” He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest. “You told me you love her before you told her?”

  I give him a slight smile. “I’ve never said those words to a woman before. I came here for a pep talk.”

  “Here’s your pep talk.” He points a finger at me. “Tell her, Sebastian. Go find her and tell her how you feel.”

  I look down at my hands. “I’ll do it tonight.”

  I will. Tonight I’ll tell my beautiful Matilda that my heart belongs to her.

  ***

  No. Just fuck no.

  I stare down at the bouquet of flowers I’m holding.

  Junior, the doorman at my building, shoved them into my hands as I was making my way to the elevator to go up to the apartment to make dinner for the woman I love.

  They froze me in place.

  Six black roses.

  Six black fucking roses wrapped in red paper.

  I look over the envelope addressed to Matilda. I don’t rip it open because of the slim chance that there’s a fingerprint or trace DNA evidence on it.

  I already know what the message inside will read.

  Detective Wolf can’t save you.

  The same five words were written on a card tucked into a bouquet of dyed black roses sent to my parents’ apartment on Mother’s Day last year.

  Another was sent to my sister’s store seven months ago.

  “Who delivered these?” I turn to Junior. “Who?”

  “I don’t know.” He points at the sidewalk outside the building. “It was two hours ago. I was helping Mrs. Henderson from 7A bring in her luggage. She just got back from Arizona. You’ll give them to Tilly, right?”

  I shake my head in frustration. “What did the person who delivered them look like?”

  “I never saw them.” He shrugs as he takes a measured step back. “I rode up with Mrs. Henderson to her apartment to help her with her stuff. They were on my desk when I got back.”

  I glance over at the reception desk. “I need the security camera footage of the lobby. Get me the footage for that block of time.”

  He huffs out a nervous laugh. “Those cameras are for show. The owner put them up to make the residents feel safe.”

  “Fuck.”

  “What’s the problem?” His head turns toward the elevator when it dings its arrival. “Tilly will probably know who they’re from. A few guys know she lives here, if you know what I mean.”

  “No.” I inch toward him and straighten my shoulders. I know exactly what he means. Matilda had a life before me. She’s been with other men. I hate it, but it’s her past. It means nothing to me, but I’m not about to let this bastard speak about her with anything but respect. “What do you mean?”

  His left eyelid twitches. “She likes to date, okay? She’s brought a handful of guys home. Let’s say she hasn’t been afraid to sow her oats. I haven’t noticed any new guys in weeks, but it’s hard to keep track.”

  “Shut your mouth,” I seethe. “Shut your fucking mouth.”

  He takes another step back, his hands shaking.

  “Don’t you say another word about her.” I point my finger at him. “Do not speak about her or to her unless you’re saying hello or goodbye. Understood?”

  He nods. “Understood.”

  I leave him there as I turn around and walk out with the bouquet of flowers in my hand knowing that when I come back to this building my life won’t be the same.

  Chapter 50

  Sebastian

  “I did it,” Matilda exclaims as I step into our apartment. “I really did it.”

  I know what she’s talking about before the words leave her perfect pink lips. She cooked dinner for me. She fucking cooked me dinner.

  I can’t tell what it is, but it smells incredible.

  I look over at where she’s standing next to the dining room table with two wine glasses in her hands.

  There’s a bottle of red on the table, uncorked.

  “Will you do me the pleasure of pouring our wine so I can toast to tonight?”

  I stand frozen in place staring at the woman I’ll never get over. I’ll never forget the taste of her lips, or the softness of her every curve.

  I’ll hold onto the memory of her voice for as long as I live.

  “Matilda.” I swallow hard.

  “I know, I know.” She places the wine glasses down. “You got busy with a case. That’s why you didn’t make it home first. “

  No, that’s not why.

  I spent three hours with my lieutenant, running over every detail of the last two times the mystery son-of-a-bitch sent roses to women I love.

  Christine tried to reassure me that this time was no different than the last, or the time before that.

  She assigned security details to my mom and Nyx for weeks after they received their b
ouquets.

  Forensic tests were run on the bouquets and cards. They came up empty.

  The only other alarm that was sounded was when Nyx received a series of calls at her shop from someone asking for me.

  It concerned us both enough that she moved into my apartment for a month. She took my bed. I took the couch and my roommate at the time, Brad, hit on her once before she shut him down.

  She moved back to her place when she got sick of me telling her everything would be okay.

  I didn’t believe my own words, but she did.

  Christine pulled the security details eventually and even though I’ve always kept my guard up, I felt reassured by the silence.

  Until today.

  I’ve made too many enemies to count since I joined the force. Some are locked up on Rikers Island, others have already served their debt to society and are now out looking to even the score. A few were never convicted and I’ve run into them on the street.

  The threats are always subtly implied.

  Not one has been followed through, but that’s not a gamble I’m willing to take. Not with Matilda. I won’t risk her safety.

  There’s already a security detail on her. One of the men is sitting in a car across the street from our building.

  He’ll follow her to work tomorrow and when his partner takes over mid-day, he’ll follow her home.

  They have strict orders to stay back far enough that she doesn’t notice them, but close enough that they can protect her if need be.

  It’s not enough for me. I want to shadow her forever, but my presence puts her in jeopardy.

  “Do you like my dress?” Matilda spins in a circle and the skirt of her short black dress picks up, revealing a pair of red lace panties.

  My favorite.

  “It’s beautiful.” I exhale harshly. “We need to talk.”

  Her smile brightens as if it’s a good thing.

  “Let’s sit down.” She gestures toward the sofa.

  I’ve kissed her there. I’ve made love to her there. I wish to fuck I would have met her anywhere but in this apartment.