Jax (A Bastard Novel)

by J. L. Perry

  I’ve gotten to know Carter well recently and the truth is, I like him a lot. I want to hate him, but I can’t. He’s a good guy. He has no idea how I feel about Candice, so I can’t be angry at him for having the balls to go after what he wants. Who wouldn’t want her?

  Despite my internal turmoil, I smile the moment he notices us. His whole face lights up. Candice worked her arse off today to organise this surprise. She got him a cake, and there’s a large number eighteen silver foil balloon sitting in the middle of the table. Our work colleagues, Gus and Shane, are here, as well as Sophia and Maddie. I did invite Brian, but he declined.

  ‘Happy birthday, buddy,’ I say, when I stand and shake his hand.

  ‘Thanks, man. I can’t believe you’re all here.’ His eyes move around the table. ‘I didn’t know Candice was going to tell everyone.’ He gives her a funny look, so I come to her defence.

  ‘She just wanted to make your birthday special.’

  ‘I know.’ Lifting his hand, he ruffles Candice’s hair. He chuckles when she slaps it away. I bend and retrieve his gift from beside my chair, passing it to him.

  ‘Shit, not you too. I didn’t expect gifts,’ he says hesitantly, as he takes it.

  ‘I wanted to.’ And that’s the truth. It’s his birthday—I know what it feels like to be forgotten on your birthday. I don’t want Carter to experience the sheer loneliness I felt the day I turned twenty-one. Plus, he’s been working his arse off at the shop, so he deserves to be rewarded.

  After thanking me, he tucks the box under his arm and makes his way around the table, shaking hands and thanking everyone for coming. I’m surprised when he seats himself with the boys instead of next to Candice. And I smile on the inside when she plonks her sweet little arse next to me. I’m in the middle of my two favourite girls, Candice on one side and Maddie on the other. Even Puppy has his own seat, on the other side of Maddie. The waitress set a place for the stuffed toy, which pleased Maddie no end. She’s been giving him sips of an imaginary drink while we’ve been waiting for Carter to get here. I’m not gonna lie, watching her was the sweetest thing ever.

  Now that the guest of honour has arrived, I order a round of drinks and some appetisers while we decide what to order for our mains.

  ‘Open your present from Jax, Carter,’ Candice calls out across the table.

  I have a feeling he’s going to like what I got him—he’d be crazy not to. As soon as Candice informed me it was his birthday, I knew I had to get it. Gus and Shane put in and bought Carter his own stool for the parlour, but it won’t be delivered until later next week. They’re getting his name embossed around the perimeter of the seat.

  ‘You bought me my own tattoo machine?’ Carter says, a shocked expression on his face.

  ‘I did.’

  ‘Fu—,’ he starts to say until his eyes land on Maddie; she’s a parrot, and copies everything. After opening the case, his face lights up for the second time. It’s actually nice to see. More often than not, he’s broody and serious, so I’m enjoying this more relaxed side of him.

  ‘This is amazing.’ He walks around the table and shakes my hand. ‘Thanks, man.’

  ‘Wow! A Micky Sharpz?’ Gus chimes in, as he picks up the case and studies its contents. ‘Fuck me. Why didn’t I get one of these when I started working for you?’

  ‘Because you’re a pain in the arse,’ I say, chuckling. ‘If I spoil you too much, I’ll never get rid of you.’

  ‘Very funny, arsehole,’ Gus snaps, and we all laugh. Gus sits there with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. He’s the biggest shit stirrer I know. He can dish it out, but he certainly can’t take it.

  Maddie even joins in. I’m pretty sure she has no idea what we’re laughing at, but she’s cracking up nevertheless. ‘Arsehole,’ she mumbles from beside me, but thankfully I’m the only one who hears. I’ve never noticed before how cool little people are. Without even trying, she entertains the hell out of me.

  We stay at the restaurant for the next few hours, eating and drinking. Everyone seems to be having a good time. I’ve seen a different side to Carter tonight, and I like it.

  ‘I really should get Maddie home,’ says Sophia. ‘It’s way past her bedtime.’

  ‘No,’ she snaps, making me chuckle.

  ‘Don’t you “no” me, young lady,’ Sophia says as she stands, lifting Maddie into her arms.

  ‘Jax,’ she cries, trying to wiggle out of Sophia’s hold as her arms stretch out to me.

  ‘How about I walk you out to the car?’ I say, taking her from Sophia.

  ‘Puppy,’ she squeals as she reaches down to the seat where he’s still sitting.

  ‘We should hit the club,’ Shane says, when I return from walking Sophia and Maddie out. ‘The night’s still young.’

  ‘Fuck, yeah,’ Gus agrees. ‘Are you up for it, birthday boy? You’re of legal age now.’

  ‘I’m in,’ Carter replies.

  ‘Count me in too,’ says Candice, rubbing her hands together. ‘I haven’t been clubbing in such a long time.’

  I’m not really in the mood to go out, but if she’s going, so am I. No way am I leaving her alone with these guys—someone needs to be there to make sure she gets home safely.

  ‘How about you, boss?’ Gus asks.

  ‘Yeah, I’m in.’

  Candice, Carter and I climb into the back of a taxi, while Shane and Gus jump in another. We head into the city to the Ivy bar. If this is going to be Carter’s first night on the town as a fully-fledged adult, we may as well do it in style.

  As we walk down George Street towards the nightclub, Gus comes up beside me and slaps me on the back. ‘Seriously, that kid’s making you soft, boss.’

  The comment is annoying—there’s nothing soft about me. ‘Fuck off. She is not.’

  He chuckles. ‘Deny it all you want, but Candice’s little sister has you wrapped around her little finger.’ He lifts his hand and wiggles his pinkie in my face for added effect. I immediately slap it away. ‘You’re like putty in her chubby little hands. Maybe you should knock up one of your hot babes and have a kid of your own. You certainly have plenty to choose from.’

  He laughs like he’s just cracked a joke, and I want to punch him. Candice is right beside me. Why did he say that in front of her?

  ‘Shut up, fucker. I’m not cut out to be a father—nor will I ever be. Fuck that shit.’ As soon as the words are out of my mouth, Candice leaves my side and catches up to Carter. Fuck.

  I smile when we enter the Ivy. I love this place and come here often. The atmosphere is always buzzing and the chicks are plentiful. Not that I’ll be going there tonight, not with Candice present. We get a table by the pool and I can’t help but feel disappointed when Candice sits in the spot furthest away from me. My eyes are fixed on her, but she purposely won’t look my way.

  I hate it when she’s upset with me. Fucking Gus and his big mouth. I should tell him to watch his mouth around her, but I can’t without giving my feelings for her away. That cocksucker would never let me live it down.

  ‘Who’s up for shots?’ I ask loudly, so everyone can hear me over the music. I was going to take it easy tonight, but that’s all changed now. When I get a unanimous yes, I stand and head to the bar. I only make it halfway before a pretty brunette steps in front of me.

  ‘Hi, handsome,’ she says, running her finger in a line down my chest. ‘Are you here alone?’

  Any other time I’d be all over this, but not tonight. ‘I’m here with friends.’

  ‘No girlfriend?’ she asks, raising one of her perfectly shaped eyebrows.

  ‘No girlfriend.’

  ‘You wanna come sit with me and my friends?’ She points to a group of women sitting in one of the cabanas on the other side of the pool.

  ‘Maybe later.’ I shrug. More than likely not, but I need to keep my options open.

  ‘I look forward to it,’ she whispers in my ear, as her hand comes to rest on my crotch. She gives it a small squeeze the
n walks away.

  I briefly glance over my shoulder before I continue to the bar, and I see the boys are all talking and laughing about something, but Candice’s eyes are on me. Of course she’d choose to look at me now.

  ‘Can I get ten shots of tequila?’ I ask the bartender when I reach the bar. Two shots each will help kick-start the night. I watch as she lines them all up on a tray. ‘Do you have any lemon wedges?’

  ‘We sure do,’ she says, smiling. She grabs a handful out of a plastic container, placing them on top of a napkin on the tray along with a salt shaker. Handing her a hundred-dollar note, I pick up the tray and make my way back to the table.

  ‘Ladies first,’ I say, placing two shots in front of Candice. I move to the birthday boy next. I don’t even know if he’s a drinker. Gus, Shane and I all had a few beers with dinner, but he ordered a Coke. I’ll have to keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t get shitfaced. The last thing I need is a puking lightweight on my hands.

  After handing Gus and Shane their shots, I take a seat, placing the tray with the lemon and salt in the centre of the table. Candice is the first to reach for it.

  ‘What is that for?’ Carter asks.

  ‘Lick, sip, suck,’ Candice replies.

  ‘Sounds like fun,’ Carter chuckles. I see a smirk cross his face and it pisses me off.

  ‘Let me show you.’

  I’m relieved when Candice places the salt on the inside of her own wrist. I would’ve lost my shit if I had to watch her lick it off him. I feel my dick twitch and I have to fight back a growl when she slowly licks a path over the salt.

  ‘That was fucking hot, Pinkie,’ Gus says.

  I’d have to agree. I still remember exactly what her mouth felt like wrapped around my cock. Her oral skills are exceptional. Just thinking about it is making me hard. Christ, why did I let my mind go there?

  She downs the shot before picking up a wedge of lemon and placing it between her lips. What I wouldn’t give to be that piece of lemon right now. She has the whole table captivated. I don’t think she realises how sexy she is.

  For the next few hours, we drink and laugh. It’s turning out to be a great night. Until it all goes to shit, that is. As soon as ‘Low’ by Flo Rida starts playing, Candice yells, ‘Oh, I love this song, come dance with me, birthday boy.’

  ‘Fuck that,’ Carter says. ‘I don’t dance.’

  ‘Come on, you pussy. Live a little,’ she retorts.

  I have to agree with Carter, I don’t dance either. I save all my moves for the bedroom—that’s where I perform best.

  Candice stands, reaching for Carter’s hand. ‘I won’t take no for an answer. Come on, it’ll be fun.’

  ‘I don’t wanna,’ he whines. I kinda feel bad for him when she tries to pull him off the chair. I know how stubborn Candice is, she won’t give up until she has him on the dance floor.

  ‘Fuck,’ I hear him mumble after a minute or so of her tugging on his arm. Gus lets out a boisterous laugh as she drags Carter to the dance floor. I don’t envy him.

  ‘He’s just standing there,’ Gus roars, slapping his hand down on his leg with amusement.

  I don’t notice. I can’t seem to take my eyes off Candice as she shakes her sweet arse around Carter.

  ‘Pinkie can move.’

  She can. I remember years ago, sitting in a dark corner at one of our school dances watching her all night. It sounds a little stalkerish, but I’ve always got a kick out of seeing Candice carefree and happy. She’s like a breath of fresh air.

  The moment the song is over, Carter turns and hightails it back to the table. We all laugh. Candice stands there dumbfounded for a few seconds before some cocksucker comes out of nowhere and pulls her into his arms. A smug smile appears on my face as I await her attack, but disappointment floods me when she smiles up at him instead. He draws her closer and she slides her arms around his neck. What the hell? The old Candice would’ve gone all ninja on him and busted his balls by now.

  I swear I see fucking red when his hands move down to her arse, giving it a squeeze. My head snaps to Carter. ‘You gonna let that fucker manhandle your girl like that?’ I ask.

  ‘What? She ain’t my girl.’

  Really? That’s news to me. ‘Since when?’

  ‘Since always. Did you think Candice and I were getting it on? We’re friends, that’s all.’

  I shrug because right now I don’t know what to think. I know she went to his house, and I saw them in the garage, out the back of the shop. I’m not blind. Friends with benefits. The thought of Carter using Candice as a casual lay angers me even more. She deserves better than that.

  My gaze moves back to the dance floor. I shouldn’t watch her dancing with that cocksucker, but I can’t seem to look away. He keeps whispering shit in her ear, and every time she laughs, my blood pressure rises. Why do I torture myself like this?

  A few minutes later, my heart drops into the pit of my stomach when the inevitable happens. He slides his hand into her soft, apple-scented pink hair as his mouth bears down on hers. The grip on my beer tightens to the point my knuckles turn white. I’m surprised the glass doesn’t shatter in my hands.

  ‘Fuck this,’ I say, pushing my chair back and standing. I’ve seen enough.

  ‘Calm down, boss,’ Gus says. ‘She’s just dancing.’

  Ignoring him, I make a beeline straight for the bar. When I pass Candice on the dance floor, I have to control the urge I have to punch that cock right in his pretty-boy face. How dare he put his grubby hands—and mouth—on my girl.

  As I’m standing in the line waiting to be served, the brunette from earlier slides up beside me.

  ‘Are you having a good night, handsome?’

  I almost say, ‘Does it fucking look like it?’ but I manage to bite my tongue. It wouldn’t be fair to take my foul mood out on her, she’s done nothing wrong. Instead, I revert back to my old coping mechanism, the only way I’ve been able to survive up until now. It’s a pretty shitty move on my part, but if I stay here, I’m gonna end up in a fight.

  ‘Wanna get out of here?’

  ‘Definitely,’ she answers without hesitation.

  I reach for her hand. Glancing at the dance floor on my way to the door, I catch a glimpse of Candice. Her eyes follow me across the club. When her gaze moves down to my hand firmly holding the brunette’s, her face drops. Really? She was just sucking face with some guy right in front of me. She has no right to be upset.

  ‘Where to?’ the taxi driver asks when we’re seated in the back of the cab. I wait for her to answer. There’s no way I’m taking her back to my place. I’ve never taken anyone back there—I don’t need them knowing where I live. Even though I always make it clear that I’m not interested in anything more than one night, I still get the occasional one who expects more, like they have some kind of magical pussy that’s gonna convert me. Not happening.

  While she rattles off her address, I have a sudden attack of conscience. This tit-for-tat crap needs to stop. We’re adults, for Christ’s sake.

  ‘Look,’ I say, turning to her. ‘I’ve changed my mind. I’m doing this for all the wrong reasons.’ Pulling a fifty out of my wallet, I pass it to the driver. ‘Take her wherever she needs to go.’

  ‘What? No.’ She reaches for my elbow as I open the door of the cab. ‘Don’t go.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ I say, glancing over my shoulder as I get out of the taxi.

  ‘Arsehole,’ she snaps.

  I totally deserve that. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I head down the street towards the train station. I need a fucking cigarette. I am an arsehole for what I just did. I should never have left with her. I only did it to hurt Candice and that was wrong. I can’t keep using other women to help get over her.

  CANDICE

  ‘HOLY SHIT, JAX!’ I SHRIEK AS MY EYES SCAN OVER THE PAGE of the newspaper. ‘You didn’t tell me Brent was getting married!’

  ‘What?’ he snaps as he storms towards the counter.

 
When I hold the paper up, he snatches it out of my hands and reads the small article that accompanies the picture of his brother and his new wife. His parents are standing on either side of them, smiling. It’s front and centre of the society section of today’s newspaper. I hope he doesn’t read the caption under the image: Malcolm and Penelope Albright, standing proudly with their only son, Brent, and his lovely new wife, Jennifer.

  Jax doesn’t say a word, but the look on his face speaks volumes. It breaks my heart.

  I gather he knew nothing about this, and I hate that his family have yet again excluded him. Without reading the whole article, he closes the newspaper and slams it down on the desk before returning to his studio.

  I flinch when I hear the door of his studio slam. His family suck, and although he’s so much better off without them, I can only imagine how much this would hurt. Nobody wants to be rejected, especially by the people who should care about you the most. I know that feeling all too well.

  I sit there for a few minutes contemplating what I should do. I wish I hadn’t said anything, but he deserved to know. Sliding off my chair, I walk hesitantly down the corridor. If nothing else, I want Jax to know he’s not alone. He’ll never be alone as long as he has me.

  Things have been strained between us since our night out at the Ivy. We had a huge argument the following day, and he’s been pulling away from me ever since. Unlike him, I didn’t go home with the guy on the dance floor—I never intended to. The kiss was just that—a kiss. It wasn’t planned. I’d had too much to drink, and the guy kissed me. That’s it. After Jax left, I went back to the table and sat with the boys. I don’t think that guy was game enough to come near me after that. We all shared a cab home, and even though I live the furthest away, the boys made sure the driver took me home first.

  ‘Psst,’ I hear when I walk past Gus’s room. ‘What’s up the boss’s arse?’ he whispers.

  I roll my eyes as I shoo him away with my hand. ‘None of your business. Now get back to work.’

  ‘Yes, ma’am, Pinkie.’ I laugh when he salutes me.

  ‘Jax, can I come in?’ I ask, knocking on his door.