All I Want For Christmas

by Ann Roth

  A “pity” escort? No, thank you. “He doesn’t date, remember?”

  “It’s not as if you’re asking him to marry you, Tina. For goodness’ sake, this is your Christmas party. Ask him as a friend, dear. It’ll give me a chance to have Maggie all to myself for the whole night. We’ll have a slumber party.”

  G. G. didn’t know they’d made love—or that they’d agreed to forget the whole thing. She didn’t realize that Tina was in love with Ryan, and that he didn’t want her love. Or that she was trying hard to get over him.

  “I can’t do that.” It was time to end the conversation. “I should probably get back to work.”

  “All right, but first tell me, how are things with Kendra?”

  She and Tina would never be friends, but Tina respected her coworker more each day. “Better, thanks. I think she’s finally getting used to me as her boss. She’s a hard worker, and very creative.”

  “That’s good to hear. Take care of yourself, honey, and let’s talk again soon.”

  ONE WEEK after his appointment with Dr. Wright, Ryan headed home, glad the workday was over. As he’d been expecting for days, this morning Jason and Danielle had given their two weeks’ notice. Having tendered his own resignation, he didn’t blame them. Serena, who was a single mom, needed her job too much to quit, but Ryan figured that once she lined something else up, she’d leave, too.

  Then it was anybody’s guess what would happen to Halo Island Bank.

  They were good employees, and if Ryan bought the bank he’d hire back all three, give them raises and set up a solid incentive-pay program.

  If. He hadn’t figured out how to do that without neglecting Maggie. If not for Dr. Wright’s advice, he’d have completely dismissed the idea. He still might.

  He was almost at Huckleberry Hill Road now, and looking forward to stringing G. G.’ s house lights. He’d done his own the previous weekend. Thanks to a timer, his place was lit up now.

  Ryan pulled into his garage and parked, then crossed his front yard. Tonight, G. G. had left her drapes open, and he stopped in the middle of the yard and watched as his daughter hung tinsel on G. G.’ s artificial tree. He couldn’t see her face, but her mouth was moving. By the way she jumped and pranced around, he knew she was happy.

  Buoyed by the knowledge, he smiled, shook his head and strolled toward the street. Now that Maggie knew how to stop the bad dreams, she was doing well, far better than he’d expected. She missed Tina, but any time she wanted to talk about her, which was often, Ryan followed their therapist’s advice and listened. That seemed to help, and so did the phone calls.

  As busy as Tina was, she hadn’t forgotten to call Maggie, for which Ryan was grateful. He still missed her, way more than he should. Which she’d never know. He had no delusions about her missing him. According to G. G., she really liked her new job and was putting in long hours. Before she’d even left, he’d figured she would.

  Come next Friday, a little over a week from now, she’d be back on the island for Christmas. Pathetic, how he looked forward to that.

  Man, did he have it bad. If he didn’t know himself better he’d think he was in love with her.

  But he absolutely did not love her. The hell you say, argued a voice in his head. You are so whipped, it isn’t funny.

  Dammit, it was true. Halfway up G. G.’ s walkway he stopped and smacked his forehead. Of all the ridiculous things to happen. Once again he’d tangled himself up with a woman who put her career above all else.

  When would he ever learn?

  Hands in his pockets, muttering choice epithets at himself, he trudged to the front stoop.

  Before he even reached the door, G. G. opened it. Christmas music spilled out, filling the air.

  “Hello, Ryan,” she said. “Maggie’s in the washroom, and I want to talk to you before she comes out. Let’s go into the den and get those lights.”

  Alarmed by the notion that maybe something had gone wrong with his daughter, Ryan followed. Using her cane, G. G. breezed ahead. She was recovering amazingly fast.

  The second they entered the den, she closed the door and turned to him. “I’m worried about Tina.”

  “Tina?” So this wasn’t about Maggie. He let out a relieved breath. Then he looked at G. G. “What’s going on?”

  “After you and Maggie left last night, she called. From work. Seven-thirty and she was still at it. Working all those hours? It isn’t healthy.” G. G. pursed her lips and shook her head. “And don’t even get me started about the flare-up of her ulcer. I don’t think she’s happy at all, Ryan.”

  He disagreed. “Last time we talked, she sounded like she was. She was real busy then, too.” Too busy to spare more than a few minutes of her time.

  “I’ve known her since she was in kindergarten, so I know her pretty well. No matter what she says, there’s something wrong. I think she’s homesick, but I don’t know for sure.” G. G. sighed. “Whatever it is, she isn’t about to confide in me. But you—I know you can find out what’s bothering her.”

  “Me? What makes you think she’d tell me?”

  “Call it an old lady’s hunch. Now, it just so happens that she needs a date for her company Christmas party on Friday night. You could take her and get her to open up.”

  He didn’t date, especially when there wasn’t a prayer that anything good would come of it. But G. G.’ s eager look and his own deep feelings for Tina were too much to fight. “You think I should invite myself?”

  “I do. Maggie can stay with me. We’ll make gingerbread boys and watch a movie in bed. It’ll be fun.”

  Ryan figured his daughter would enjoy that. Suddenly, he couldn’t wait to see Tina. Lay his heart on the line and tell her he loved her. Scary as that was. If she rejected him…He couldn’t feel much worse than he did now. At least it’d be in Seattle, safely away from Maggie.

  “Can those lights wait another day?” he asked. “Before I call Tina, I want to go home and talk things over with Maggie.”

  G. G. beamed. “That sounds like a fine idea.”

  Maggie’s footsteps pattered over the carpet, and his daughter bounded into the den. “There you are. Hi, Daddy! G. G. and I had cocoa and Christmas cookies! Did you see the tree?”

  “Hello, Sunshine.” Feeling better and more hopeful than he had any right to, Ryan ruffled her hair. “Why don’t you show it to me, and then we’ll head home.”

  “But what about G. G.’ s Christmas lights?”

  “Your daddy can hang them another time,” G. G. said.

  A short while later, as Maggie shrugged into her parka, she glanced at him. “Can I write a letter to Santa tonight?”

  “You bet. You can do that while I cook dinner.”

  As Maggie raced out the door, G. G. winked at Ryan. “Good luck.”

  “Thanks.”

  SITTING AT the kitchen table, pencil in hand, Maggie frowned in concentration at the sheet of wide-ruled paper before her. “How do you spell Tina?”

  “T-i-n-a,” Ryan said, as he shoved a meatloaf into the oven. This was the perfect time for him and Maggie to talk. He sat down across from her. “What exactly are you asking Santa for?”

  “It’s a secret. How do you spell mommy?”

  Ryan spelled the word, then eyed her. “Are you asking Santa to make Tina your mother?”

  His daughter gaped at him. “How did you find out?”

  As serious as the situation was, Ryan stifled a smile. “Just a lucky guess. Am I right?”

  Maggie nodded, her eyes big and dark with worry. “Is it wrong to ask for that, Daddy?”

  Reaching across the table he tweaked her nose. “If I were a kid, I’d want Tina for a mom, too. She’s awfully busy, though. I don’t know if she has time to be anybody’s mother.”

  “I know that, Daddy.” Maggie glanced at the table, then at him. “That’s why I’m asking Santa. Maybe he’ll help. You could ask him, too. We should marry Tina.”

  “We should, huh?”

  Now that
he’d admitted his feelings for Tina to himself, that sounded like a great idea. In no time at all, he’d moved from not wanting a relationship to seeing himself married again. Talk about nuts…He’d best take a step back and slow down. Heck, he didn’t even know how she felt about him. Sure, she liked him and had enjoyed the sex they’d shared. But beyond that? He hadn’t a clue; didn’t know if she even wanted to get married.

  “I don’t know about that, but I sure miss her. She needs someone to take her to a party in Seattle Friday night, and I’m thinking about going over there. If that’s okay with you.”

  “You mean you’re gonna date her?”

  “I’m thinking about it.”

  “But you always say you don’t date.”

  “Maybe I changed my mind.”

  “You did?” She absorbed his words with growing excitement. “Goody! Maybe Santa and you can both talk to Tina. And then, if she wants to be my mommy, we can move to Seattle and everything.”

  The part about moving surprised Ryan. It meant Maggie had thought about this already, and that leaving the island was an option. He wasn’t at all sure about that, and the anticipation he saw now in his daughter’s eyes scared him. What if Tina turned them down? “Easy there, Sunshine. She might not want to go out with me, so don’t get your hopes up.”

  “Okay, Daddy.” She deflated like a popped balloon, but only for a moment. “Can I come with you to see her?”

  “Not this time. G. G. invited you to spend the night at her house. She said something about making cookies and watching a movie in bed. What do you think?”

  “I think, good.”

  Ryan hoped she didn’t have any nightmares over there. He’d talk to G. G. about that.

  “Would you mind if I called Tina right now, before dinner’s ready?” he asked. “While I’m talking to her, you can finish your letter. I’ll get you an envelope, too, and later I’ll mail it for you.”

  “Okay. What about me? Do I get to talk to Tina?”

  “When I’m through, I’ll bring you the phone. Listen, don’t tell her or anybody else about the mommy thing. For now, let’s keep that a secret between you and me.”

  “And Santa?”

  “And Santa.” Ryan headed upstairs for his bedroom and some privacy, taking the stairs two at a time. Toed out of his shoes and settled against the headboard. Nervous as a kid about to call a girl for the first time, he dialed Tina’s cell. She picked up on the second ring.

  “Hello, Maggie,” she said, sounding pleased.

  “It’s Ryan.”

  “Ryan,” she said, switching to surprise. “Has something happened to Maggie?”

  “She’s fine.”

  “Oh. Then why…? Hello.”

  Not one to circle a subject, Ryan jumped in. “G. G. says you’re having a company Christmas party Friday night and you don’t have a date. I’d like to take you.”

  “G. G. told you that? I’m going to wring her neck.”

  He pictured her cheeks flushing, and he grinned. “Nothing to be embarrassed about. Well?”

  “You don’t have to take me, Ryan. I’m planning to go by myself, no problem.”

  “I want to. Is it a suit-and-tie thing—and what time should I pick you up?”

  “You’re asking me out?”

  “Yeah.”

  But you don’t date. He heard the words as clearly as if she’d spoken them. A chuckle bubbled from his chest. “What time does the party start, and how long does it take to get there from your place?”

  “Um, seven. It’s only a few miles from my apartment. And it’s cocktail dress, so wear a suit and tie. Who’s going to babysit Maggie?”

  “G. G. offered.”

  “Naturally.”

  “So I’ll be at your place at a quarter to seven.”

  Tina gave him directions. “What’s this really about, Ryan?”

  No way was he spilling his guts over the phone. “That can wait until I see you. Now, Maggie wants to talk to you, so hang on.”

  Whistling, he carried the phone downstairs.

  TINA FINISHED the final touches on her makeup and checked her appearance in the mirror. The fitted waist and flared skirt of her silver off-the-shoulder cocktail dress flattered her figure, and her shimmery hose and strappy black heels made her legs look longer.

  “Not bad,” she said to herself. She wondered what Ryan would think. He’d never seen her dressed up.

  She couldn’t quite believe that she actually had a date with him. Or that he was taking her to the company Christmas party. She hadn’t brought anyone for years, and people were bound to wonder. Only June knew she was bringing someone. And of course, G. G. and Kate.

  “What do you think it means?” she’d asked Kate on the phone the day before.

  “That he wants something more with you, of course.”

  “But he made it perfectly clear that because Maggie comes first in his life, he doesn’t want to get involved. Besides, it’s been almost three weeks since I left the island. Why now?”

  “Maybe he needed to think things through.”

  “But that doesn’t make sense,” she’d replied. “Especially since he lives on Halo Island and I’m in Seattle.”

  “So? We talked about this before. Lots of people have long-distance relationships.”

  “You’re forgetting about Maggie.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  The conversation had ended with Tina promising to let Kate know what happened.

  Soon enough Tina would find out.

  At exactly six forty-five, the phone on the kitchen wall rang. Ryan. Tina’s insides fluttered, and she suddenly understood where the term “butterflies in your stomach” came from.

  She picked up the phone. “Hi.”

  “I’m downstairs.”

  His deep voice caused every nerve in her body to hum with anticipation. “I’ll buzz you in.”

  In no time he knocked on the door. Heart pounding, Tina opened it. He was wearing a black wool overcoat. Underneath, a black suit, crisp white shirt and red-and-green silk tie. As always, handsome and sexy enough to give a girl heart palpitations.

  It had been nearly three weeks, and she strained toward him like a flower in need of light. “Hey, you,” she said, sounding remarkably calm.

  “Hello.”

  He kissed her, a brief, soft brush of his lips that left her aching for more. His warm, appreciative gaze combed over her, and she nearly melted at his feet.

  “You look beautiful.”

  “Thanks. You look pretty good, yourself.” Flushing and awash with love, she stood back to let him in. “I don’t want to be late, so we should go. I’ll grab my coat.”

  While she retrieved it from the closet, he glanced around her small living room, which she’d spent the previous night cleaning. “I like your place.”

  With Ryan’s solid presence, somehow the room felt brighter and more alive. But then, so did Tina. “It’s small, but comfortable enough for one person,” she said.

  During the drive to the party, he asked about her job. She wanted to tell him the truth—that she was unhappy and wished she could quit—but nobody in the world knew about that. Neither could she lie.

  “I’m still learning,” she said, which was the truth. “How are you?”

  “Not bad.” He updated her on Maggie, who was excited about Christmas and looking forward to seeing Tina.

  While Tina was happy to hear about Ryan’s daughter, she really wanted to talk about Ryan and his reasons for coming here. As they waited at a stoplight, she blurted out her question. “When are you going to tell me why you’re here?”

  The light turned green. “You know the answer to that—to take you to the Christmas party. And we’re just about there.” He signaled, then turned into the parking lot.

  “But the other night, you said you wanted to talk.”

  “And I do.” Ryan pulled into a slot and parked. In the streetlights, his eyes glittered. “But what I want to say—I don’t want to be
rushed. Now, if you’d rather head back to your place now and talk instead of going to this dinner party, that’s fine with me. But I don’t think your boss would like that.”

  He was right. Their talk would have to wait. Frustrated, Tina could only nod.

  Ryan exited his side of the car and came around to help her out.

  Was he planning to stay the night? Tina couldn’t bring herself to ask. And she wasn’t sure whether she’d let him stay or not. If she had any pride at all, she wouldn’t. Yet, she’d changed the sheets on her bed.

  Ryan opened her door and held out his hand, his grip warm and firm, and they ambled toward the low building. It was a cold, crisp night, and their breath hung in the air like smoke. Other people joined them, including Kendra and her date, who looked like a GQ model.

  “Hello, there.” Kendra shot Ryan a flirtatious look. “Who’re you?”

  “This is Kendra Eubanks,” Tina said, wondering what Ryan would think of her. “Meet Ryan Chase.”

  “Delighted,” she said, offering her hand. “This is my boyfriend, Todd Howe.”

  They exchanged hellos.

  “So you’re Kendra,” Ryan said. He glanced at Tina and smiled.

  “You’ve heard of me?” Kendra glanced at Tina. “What did you tell him?”

  “It’s all good,” Ryan said, to Tina’s relief.

  “Have you two been dating long?” Kendra asked.

  No telling why she wanted to know. Tina shook her head. “This is our first date.”

  “We met when Tina came to Halo Island to take care of G. G.,” Ryan said. “My daughter and I live across the street.”

  “Ah.” Kendra widened her eyes, then gave Tina a sly look. “No wonder you used your vacation to take care of her.”

  Tina rolled her eyes, but Ryan grinned.

  “I never thought I’d say this,” Kendra told him, “but Tina’s turning out to be a great creative director.”

  Tina managed to hide her surprise. “Thank you. You’re great to work with, too.”

  She felt Ryan stiffen. Why? But they’d reached the door and then she forgot about it. A uniformed guard checked off their names before allowing them into the lobby.