Free Spirit

by Andi Bremner

  “How was it?” Ava asked with a grin. “You look like you had fun.”

  “Oh my God it was amazing!” Juliette cried, “better than anything I’ve ever ridden before.”

  “Oh really?” Gavin sniggered, shooting a smirk in Noah’s direction, “the best thing hey?”

  Juliette flushed, ducking her head. “Well. Nearly.”

  Noah laughed and pulled her to him, planting a kiss on her forehead, clearly finding her embarrassment at Gavin’s comment endearing. “Maybe,” he murmured in her ear, “I’ll have to show you a better ride.”

  Juliette’s face burned hot now, but she took advantage of being in Noah’s arms to take a moment to cool down. Plus, his words had given her something to think about.

  “Hey!” It was Ava now, and they both glanced up at her. “Smile!”

  Juliette grinned at Ava, waving her cell phone in the air took a photo of them and then gave them the thumbs up. “Great photo guys. Gorgeous.”

  Juliette extricated herself from Noah’s arms, feeling less embarrassed now, and removed her life vest before dropping to her towel and laying back. She was next to Ava, with Kelly on the other side of her. Beyond a brief hello, she and Kelly hadn’t really spoken much, which was fine with Juliette. She didn’t have anything to say to Kelly, and she knew that Kelly had already said everything she needed to say.

  “Hey what’s that?” Ava asked, gesturing to the scar that always attracted attention.

  “A scar from an on old injury,” Juliette replied dismissively and lay back enjoying the feel of the sunshine on her face and skin. She could feel Ava watching her, wanting to ask more questions, but she ignored her. Having spoken to about it to Noah only that morning she really didn’t feel like rehashing that experience for the second time in one day.

  Eventually Ava lay back beside her. The guys had all wandered down by the water’s edge to examine the Jet Skis. Kelly had joined them, leaving Ava and Juliette alone.

  “He really likes you,” Ava said quietly, “I’ve never seen him so happy.”

  “Never?” Juliette challenged and then regretted her words. She wasn’t the jealous type, and she refused to be jealous of a dead woman. Nor did she begrudge Noah for feeling the way that he did—about Charlotte and about her.

  “Well, not in a long time,” Ava amended. “It’s great. More than great, Juliette.”

  Juliette stayed quiet, keeping her eyes closed. “I like him, too.”

  “He hasn’t been in the water for years,” Ava continued, “and I can’t remember the last time I saw him smile. Laugh. I mean I’m sure he has, but it just doesn’t seem to have happened very much in the last few years but now … now he always seems to be laughing and smiling. It’s because of you.”

  “I’m glad I’ve been able to help him.”

  Ava was quiet. “Are you—I mean, I don’t mean to pry or anything…”

  Juliette waited, and when Ava didn’t continue she rolled to her side, facing her new friend. “What is it?”

  Ava bit her lip, obviously unsure about what she was about to ask. “I just wanted to know what your plans are? I mean, I don’t mean to snoop, but seeing Noah so happy I, I mean all of us, are really hoping you stick around. I know you move around a lot, but we’re hoping you make Myrtle Beach your home.”

  “I’ve got no plans to leave.”

  “But you are going to stay? I mean you said that the longest you’d lived anywhere was Lexington and you were there just one year…”

  “Like I said, I don’t have any plans to leave,” Juliette repeated, “but I don’t like too much of a commitment to anyone or anything. I really like it here, and I really like Noah, and Renee and Ryan and all of you guys. I enjoy working with Toby at the workshop and I absolutely love living so close to the beach, but I never say forever. I just like to see what pans out.”

  Ava shook her head. “What must it be like to be so free?” she wondered out loud, “to have no commitments to people or places? I don’t think I could ever move away from Myrtle Beach. I mean I have my family here, my mom, my sister and her family, plus I have Mike and my job in the salon. I can’t imagine just packing up my whole life and moving states.”

  “That’s because your whole life doesn’t fit into the back of your car,” Juliette replied. “Mine does.”

  Ava regarded Juliette for a long moment. “No family? No friends? No boyfriends?”

  “I’ve had all of the above,” Juliette told her, “my family consists basically of my mom who has her own life, friends are always your friends no matter how far apart you are, and sometimes it’s good to let people go.”

  “You had a boyfriend before you moved here?” Ava asked, somehow managing to read between the lines.

  “Harry. In Lexington. We’d been together for nearly a year, but it became more of a best friend’s type situation. It was time to move on.”

  A sadness suddenly swept over Ava’s eyes, and she reached over and clutched Juliette’s hand. “Well, I’m asking you, Juliette, no I’m begging you. Don’t break Noah’s heart. I don’t think he could take it.”

  “I think you’re underestimating Noah,” Juliette replied. “He’s stronger than you think and in regards to breaking his heart, believe me when I say there is no chance of that. We both know what this is.”

  “And what is it?”

  She shrugged. “It’s fun. I love hanging out with Noah, and of course he’s incredibly sexy. But I know he’s not—well available—and he knows I’m not looking for a commitment. Don’t worry about Noah, Ava, and you really don’t have to worry about me.”

  Ava looked like she was about to say more but the moment was broken by Mike coming back over to them, reaching down to pull Ava to her feet. “C’mon, beautiful girl,” he said, “our turn for a spin on the waves.”

  Ava nodded and was just about to follow Mike when she turned back to Juliette. Her eyes were dark, serious. “I think you’re both fooling yourselves.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, if you think this is nothing serious,” she said, “if you think it will be easy to just walk away from whatever you have between you. I think this is bigger than either of you realize.”

  Juliette blinked at her and watched as Ava followed Mike down to the water. Noah caught her eye, waving and throwing a sexy smile in her direction. Her stomach turned over, the familiar butterflies starting to stir, and she smiled back, wondering how Ava had managed to see so much.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Juliette

  “Oh my goodness, what happened to you?”

  Juliette paused in the doorway of the kitchen as Renee’s eyes went wide with surprise. Ryan, who was leaning against the kitchen counter eating a packet of chips, looked over at her and frowned.

  “What?” Juliette blinked at them, wondering what they were talking about. Behind her she could hear Noah stomping up the stairs carrying their beach bags, wet towels, and beach umbrella.

  “You’ve got bruises all up and down your legs,” Renee told her, and Juliette’s eyes immediately went to her legs, noting the large purple and yellow bruises on her thighs. Her stomach turned over and an unpleasant knot formed in her throat.

  “Oh,” she forced a smile into her voice, “I must have gotten them from the Jet Ski.”

  “What kind of Jet Ski were you riding?” Ryan frowned. “Or was Noah just being extra rough?”

  Noah chose that moment to step into the kitchen and, having heard the conversation, turned his attention to Juliette’s legs. “Shit,” he muttered, “why didn’t you say you were hurt?”

  Juliette shrugged. “I didn’t even realize. Don’t worry, it’s nothing. I was having too much fun to even notice.”

  She moved into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of orange juice from the fridge, not meeting anyone’s eyes as she swallowed the drink down in an attempt to chase away the cold sense of dread churning in her gut.

  She knew those bruises. She’d seen them before, an
d they frightened her. Maybe if she squeezed her eyes shut tight and ignored them they would go away. But Juliette knew it was ridiculous to even think it. And besides, she told herself, maybe she had hurt herself on the Skis and not noticed.

  “Hey,” Renee said now, breaking the sobering mood, “anyone feel like pasta for dinner? And fresh garlic bread?”

  “Sounds great, Mom, but I was going to take Juliette out,” Noah replied.

  Juliette turned around, plastering a huge smile on her face. “Actually, do you mind if we stay in tonight? I’m exhausted from the day.”

  “Well, I guess…”

  “Great!” she cried, “I’m going to take a shower. The sea water always makes my skin itch.” She didn’t wait for a response as she made her upstairs to the bathroom. Only when the bathroom door was securely locked behind her did she manage to breathe again. Leaning back against the wooden door she counted as she drew in steady breaths, willing her terrified nerves to calm down.

  It was probably nothing. Maybe she had really bumped herself on the Jet Ski and not noticed. Maybe she’d bruised herself at work. Maybe they were nothing but innocuous bruises that meant nothing, that meant nothing at all…

  Pulling off her bikini Juliette examined her body in the full length mirror. She looked fine, she looked healthy and normal. Her skin, usually quite pale, had picked up a bit of color from all the time she’d spent in the sun since moving to Myrtle Beach, and her eyes radiated a kind of happiness that she knew was entirely due to Noah. She was thinner, she knew that, had seen that on the scales, but then she was more active here. Swimming, going for walks on the beach, being in bed with Noah.

  But she’d fainted. She’d lied when she told Noah it happened. It had happened before, but it hadn’t happened for nearly seven years. Yes, she did have low blood pressure and low iron, but it had never been low enough to leave her out cold on the grocery store floor. And now the bruises.

  She let her eyes linger on them. They were large, and they seemed to be darkening before her very eyes. Twisting around she examined her back and felt her eyes prick with tears as she noted the pale purple shadows tracing down her spine.

  She choked on her fear, a large, uncomfortable lump settling in her throat.

  Oh please no. Oh please, please no.

  ****

  After showering, washing her hair and ignoring the bruises, refusing to think about them anymore, Juliette dressed in a long skirt that fell to her ankles and a dark green tank top. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail on the top of her head and then went downstairs to join the family.

  Renee and her two sons were sitting out on the deck watching the last hints of daylight disappear. They each had a glass of wine and were talking and laughing together. Juliette paused, watching them for a long moment. What must it have been like, she wondered, to grow up with a mother like Renee. Someone who so obviously loved her children, someone who wanted to be around them, was proud of them and enjoyed them. Her boys were grown now, but this was still their home and she still looked after them.

  “Hey,” Noah called softly, noticing her, “there you are. I was going to send up a search party for you.”

  “I would’ve volunteered,” Ryan called earning him a swift whack around the head.

  “You need to stop hitting your brother, Noah,” Juliette told him. “You’ll give him brain damage.”

  “What, this kid?” Noah replied. “Trust me when I say he has the thickest skull. And I mean that in the best brotherly way possible.”

  “It’s ‘cos I had to put up being bullied by you my whole life.” Ryan pretended to sulk. “It’s survival instinct.”

  “I bullied you?” Noah cried. “Yeah right. You were the annoying little brat that followed me around everywhere I went. Bully you? I couldn’t get rid of you!”

  “Boys, enough,” Renee interrupted. “I can’t believe I’m still having to referee your fights and you are grown adults. Juliette, take some advice from me and make sure when you have kids you only have girls. Emma hasn’t even given me an ounce of grief where as these two…”

  “Um, thanks for the advice,” Juliette mumbled.

  “What are you talking about?” Noah protested. “She was the worst. Always sneaking out to meet her boyfriend. And what about the time she died her hair blue?”

  “Uh, I’d forgotten about that.”

  “Blue hair?” Juliette asked, taking the seat beside Noah and accepting the glass of wine he offered. “That must have been interesting.”

  “And then she pierced her tongue,” Ryan added. “Remember that? Dad had a fit.”

  “Hmmn.” Renee frowned. “Maybe she wasn’t that easy after all. Maybe it would’ve been easier to have no kids.”

  “That’s how I plan to do it,” Juliette said.

  “What? No, I‘m just joking,” Renee rushed to assure her. “Kids are wonderful really. Stressful and annoying and expensive and all of that, but wonderful just the same. I don’t know what I would’ve done if I hadn’t had Noah, Emma, and Ryan these last few years.”

  “Must be nice to have family around.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  They fell into an easy silence, staring out over the water, watching the waves roll in and out and the sky turn from a bright blue to a dusty shade of navy streaked with pinks and oranges. Juliette watched day turn to evening, feeling calm and peaceful. It was bliss, she told herself, right here and now everything was perfect. Right here and right now she was happy and she was healthy and she was surrounded by wonderful people watching the sun set. As if he could read her thoughts, Noah squeezed her hand and she smiled at him.

  Everything would be okay, she told herself, singing her familiar mantra.

  After a delicious dinner, Juliette excused herself, claiming tiredness as she made her way up to her room. Noah followed, closing the door behind them when they were in her room which was, thanks to Ryan, free of all half-filled paper cups.

  “You okay?” he asked. “You were kinda quiet tonight.”

  “Of course,” she replied with a smile, “just exhausted from the day I think.”

  “Not too exhausted I hope,” he said, grinning suggestively as he made his way across the room to her.

  “Noah! We can’t! Not in your mom’s house.”

  “I’m a grown man, Juliette,” he pointed out with amusement, “and you are most definitely a woman. I’m sure my mom won’t care.”

  He ran a hand over her shoulder, sliding the strap of her tank down as he did. Juliette shivered under his touch. “Are you sure she won’t mind?”

  Noah moved closer so she could feel the heat from his body. “Nope. And if you don’t mind I really don’t want to talk about my mom anymore.”

  Juliette nodded and lost herself in the feel of his lips moving her cheek, trailing soft kisses over her skin as he moved lower. Down her throat, over her collarbone and lower still. He tugged at her tank and slid it down over her breast, which he soon claimed with his mouth. Juliette moaned and leaned into him, arching her back to give him better access.

  He pushed her back onto the bed, and she crawled up to the pillows, dragging him with her. Lifting his head, he kissed her, a long, slow, lingering kiss that sent desire spinning in the pit of her belly. He was warm and hard and seemed to sense that she needed to be taken care of tonight, that she needed him to be slow and steady.

  Tugging at her skirt he lifted it high around her hips as his hand roamed over the skin of her thighs and butt before pausing at the apex of her thighs. “Take your panties off,” he murmured against her mouth. “I want to taste you.”

  Juliette nodded and lifted her hips to link two fingers into the sides of her panties and slide them down. Noah watched, his eyes darkening.

  Shooting her a grin he moved down the bed. Keeping his eyes locked on hers he used both hands to spread her legs wide and then nestled between them. The he kissed her. He kissed her thighs, he kissed down to her ankles, over those bruises and he kissed up to her s
tomach. His mouth hot and wet on her skin, his fingers sliding over her warm center. She arched against him wanting him to kiss her there but he teased her, avoiding what she really wanted, his lips and tongue teasing and tasting the smooth skin of her stomach and thighs as he tormented her. He continued his slow torture until she writhed on the bed beneath him and begged for something more.

  “What is it, Juliette?” he urged, his voice thick and teasing at the same time.

  “Noah…” She struggled to put into words what she wanted, what she needed from him. She wanted him to put his mouth on her, she wanted him to sink himself deep within her, she wanted to lose herself in him, in his touch and his kiss and forget the fears that circulated on the periphery of her mind. She wanted to forget everything, she wanted this moment to last, she wanted it to be just her and him for the longest, most incredible moment.

  “Tell me what you want? Tell me and I’ll give it you,” he promised. “I’ll give you anything you ask, Juliette.”

  She whimpered and pulled at his head, but he ducked out of her reach, laughing a little. “Juliette … where are your words?”

  “Noah,” she moaned again. “I need your mouth. I need your fingers. I need you.”

  “Where, Juliette?” he whispered. “Tell me what you want me to do? I find it fucking sexy when you talk to me.”

  She lifted her head and looked at him. Her heart burned, and she knew that she was hopelessly lost in Noah, that she loved him like she’d never wanted to love anyone. That, coupled with everything else, made her heart clench with fear. Everything was perfect, and she felt as if she was about to fall off the edge of a cliff into the land of imperfect.

  She shook her head, chasing away her thoughts. There was no point worrying about the past or the future, neither of which could be controlled and neither of which were relevant right now. Right now, she had Noah, and she had this moment.

  “I want you. All of you. Everything.”