Free Spirit

by Andi Bremner

  He grinned and nodded. Then he lowered his head and closed his mouth over her warm center. He ran his tongue over her nub, and she cried out, calling his name as she clutched at his hair, feeling her orgasm building already. Sinking one, and then two fingers, deep inside her, he moved, keeping his mouth locked on her, his tongue and fingers working, moving and bringing her closer and closer to the brink of orgasm.

  When she came, she fell apart more violently and more passionately than anything she’d ever known, her thoughts scattering in an instant as she fragmented into a thousand pieces Her fingers and hands grabbed at him, her legs trembled, her body shook and her cries grew higher and higher as she called his name out in her release, arching up off the bed.

  Noah barely gave her a moment to recover from her delicious orgasm before he’d pulled his clothes off and was climbing over her, spreading her legs wider and hooking them under his elbows as he drove himself home. Juliette cried out again, and he lowered himself to kiss her mouth hungrily, swallowing her cries. Bracing her hands on the headboard behind her, Juliette gave herself up to him and let him take what he wanted, knowing that he was giving her everything in return. He pounded into her over and over, a relentless drive until she felt her orgasm begin to build again.

  “Oh God, Noah!” she cried out, just as the waves began to wash over her.

  “Juliette, I…” His voice trailed off as she came undone yet again, and then soon she felt him twitching within her, driving deeper and deeper before he, too, lost himself crying out his own release, calling her name, as he reached his climax. Juliette smiled as he sank down her and pulled her close, raining kisses over her face as the last tremors of his orgasm reverberated through his body. Fine perspiration covered him, and his heart, pressed against her own, match the frantic rhythm of her own. Winding her arms around him Juliette clung to him. She loved him. She felt it in every part of her body, and even though she knew he didn’t love her it somehow didn’t matter. She had enough love for both of them.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Noah

  Noah woke in a cold sweat, fear hammering in his chest. It’d been ages, months even, since he’d had one of the nightmares, and he’d thought, hoped, that he’d seen the last of them. But he was wrong, and he suspected he’d never be free of them.

  Running a hand over his face he sat up in the bed and stared out the window at the half moon, which was high in the sky as he let himself think about the dream. The nightmare. It’d been the same as before and yet different. It started off bright and sunny, as it had that day, with not a cloud in the sky. At first he felt nothing but the rush of adrenaline, and the pure joy of enjoying a perfect summer’s day with the woman he loved, his wife. He heard her laugh. He saw the vibrant spark in her eye, the life and love that burned in her soul for the life they were creating. Then they were flying over the water and laughing together and then that’s when things turned dark.

  Suddenly clouds would rush in and conceal the sun in some bizarre eclipse that left everything in complete and utter darkness. And he couldn’t see her, he couldn’t hear her anymore, and panic would set in. then he was in the water, scooping it, cupping it, his fingers sliding uselessly through the cool liquid as he searched for her. But she was gone, swallowed by the ocean. He felt it pull on him, too, tugging at him and trying to drag him down to a watery grave with her as well, and he wanted to go, could imagine the peace he’d find there with her, but it wasn’t to be. Before he could ever fully commit to losing himself in the ocean he woke up, his chest burning and barely able to breathe.

  That was the dream. That was how it always went. Part reality, part fantasy of what had happened that horrible day. Only this time, this dream was different. This time, when he searched futilely through the waves, when he ducked beneath the murky water, his eyes burning with salt in his search for her, it wasn’t Charlotte he was looking for. It was Juliette.

  Swinging his feet over the side of the bed, Noah took a moment to steady his breathing and calm his racing thoughts. Picking up his phone he glanced at the time and then the date.

  Of course. How had he missed it? How had he forgotten? He’d been so wrapped up in Juliette he’d forgotten what today was, what today would always be. But his subconscious hadn’t, and he felt utterly ashamed that it’d taken a nightmare to remind him or what he’d vowed he’d never forget.

  The anniversary of Charlotte’s death.

  Juliette had already left for work when he arrived at his mom’s house to start work later that morning. His mom took one look at him and went to wrap her arms around him. He let her hold him, not because he needed it, but because he knew she needed to love on him.

  “Another year,” she said quietly when she released him. “So hard to believe.”

  He shrugged. “Life goes on I guess.”

  Renee cocked an eyebrow. “It certainly does, and I’m happy you can see that, Noah.”

  He moved past her to the refrigerator where he grabbed some orange juice and poured himself a glass, avoiding eye contact. “Doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget.”

  “Of course you won’t!” Renee cried. “And no one would want you to, least of all Juliette.”

  He scowled, staring hard into his orange juice. “Juliette? It’s got nothing to do with her.”

  “Well, I’m just saying that even though you’re moving on from what happened…”

  “Moving on?” Noah snapped. “What makes you think I’m forgetting Charlotte?”

  “No,” his mom spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully as she continued. “You will never forget, and no one would ever want you to.”

  “No one as in Juliette?”

  Renee was quiet, staring at him. “Juliette is wonderful, Noah. She’s the best thing that ever happened to you.”

  Noah’s felt his heart twitch at the knowledge of his betrayal. “Charlotte was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

  “Yes. And Charlotte is gone. And Charlotte would’ve have wanted you to move on.”

  Noah shook his head. He didn’t believe that. He’d promised Charlotte that he’d only love her, that she was the only one for him, and he’d kept that promise. Until now.

  “You think Charlotte would want you to spend the rest of your life pining for her? Noah, you have your whole life ahead of you, and you finally have a chance at happiness.”

  “With Juliette,” he added.

  “Yes. With Juliette.”

  He stared at his mom. “What do you think is going to happen here? You think we are going to fall madly in love and get married? You think we’re going to live happily ever after? If you are, then, Mom, I can assure you that you are badly mistaken. Juliette is, well, Juliette is…” He trailed off, searching for the right words. The only words that came to mind were beautiful, exciting, vibrant, and carefree when he thought of Juliette, and they weren’t what he was looking for right now.

  “Juliette is in love with you,” his mother said after a long moment.

  Noah stepped back. “No, she isn’t.”

  “Noah, you are so blind,” Renee said, moving to stand in front of him. “That girl is head over heels in love with you. And I think … I think you’re in love with her.”

  Noah flinched as if she’d slapped him.

  “This is your chance,” she continued quietly. “This is your second chance at happiness. Take it, Noah.”

  A surge of emotions ran through him as he let his mother’s words wash over him. Juliette was in love with him? A part of his heart soared with hope that it might be true whilst another part shrank at the guilt that he might love her. It wasn’t even possible. He didn’t want to love again, and he didn’t want to love Juliette.

  He shook his head. “You are so wrong. Juliette is nothing more than a flighty, thoughtless girl who travels about the countryside probably breaking hearts as she goes. You know she had a boyfriend in Kentucky? And she just up and left in the middle of the night? You know that she hasn’t spoken to her own mothe
r in nearly two years? And you know she’s been sick right? That she can never have children? You really think a girl like that is the right girl for me? After Charlotte?”

  Renee’s mouth fell open. “I would never compare Juliette to Charlotte. They are two very different girls.”

  “Yeah, that’s the only thing you’ve said that’s correct.” He pushed past her and headed out the house, furious at what his mother was suggesting. And scared, too.

  “Noah!” his mom called. “Come back, please.”

  Noah glanced over his shoulder to find his mom standing on the front porch, her hands clutching the railing and her face pale. “I’ve got somewhere else to be today. It’s Charlotte’s anniversary.”

  Forgetting about work, forgetting about what his mother had said, Noah climbed into his pickup truck, pulling away from the curb with a screech.

  A tumult of emotions raced through him, emotions he didn’t fully understand. But one thing stood out clear as day as he made his way through the streets, determined, needing to see Charlotte, was that this thing with Juliette had gone too far. Way too far.

  There were fresh flowers on Charlotte’s grave that Noah knew had come from her parents. They came regularly, usually at sunrise, to place fresh peonies on her grave. When they weren’t in season they paid a fortune for the local florist to source because peonies were Charlotte’s favorite flowers. Noah smiled when he saw them, remembering that she had carried a bouquet of peonies on their wedding day.

  He didn’t have flowers, and he felt momentarily bad about that as he stood before her grave. “I’m sorry,” he said out loud and knew he was apologizing for more than just showing up without flowers.

  He stared at the marbled tombstone, reading the inscription over and over again until he felt his mind go numb. Charlotte Marie Daniels. Dearly loved wife, daughter, and friend. Love never dies. That was the quote he’d chosen to put on her tombstone. Love never dies, because he knew that even though she was gone for him, their love would never die.

  He would always love her. And only her.

  Sinking to his knees he hung his head as he tried to imagine, believe even, that what his mom had said was right. Would Charlotte have wanted him to move on? Would she have wanted him to have a life with Juliette? He didn’t know. They’d only been married for a short time before she was taken, and they’d never had a conversation like that. Never thought they needed to. They were young and had all the time in the world ahead of them. A lifetime. There would be children, and holidays, and vacations, and grandchildren. There were stories and memories to be made and no reason to even think that time wasn’t on their side.

  If it were reversed would he want her to move on? Noah knew he would. He would want her to be happy, and if some guy—any guy—made her happy, made her laugh and smile he would want that for her. Even if it would break his heart.

  “It wasn’t supposed to be this way,” he told the quiet grave. “It was supposed to be you and me forever.”

  He paused, as if waiting for a reply. When none came, he sighed and stared at the ground.

  “I miss you, Char,” he whispered eventually. “I miss you every single day. And I’ll love you forever. I promise.”

  Silence greeted his words, but he was used to that.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Juliette

  “Hey, pretty lady, nice to see you again.”

  It was a week later when Juliette glanced up from beneath the hood of a white Volvo to find Doug Houghton wandering into the workshop. “Hey yourself,” she smiled, wiping her hands on a rag and coming to greet him. “What brings you down here?”

  He gestured to the car behind him, a red Lexus that gleamed in the sunshine. “I bring her down here to get Toby to service her.”

  “Oh. Well, Toby isn’t here right now,” she told him. “He’s taken a car for a drive. Do you want to leave it with me?”

  He nodded, following her over to the desk area to complete the necessary paperwork.

  Juliette pulled out the forms and began writing on them, filling out the details she already knew about Doug before she handed them over to him to fill out the rest.

  “So,” he said as he completed the forms, “how are you doing here? Not tired of the hot, stinky, greasy work yet?”

  “Not at all,” she replied with a smile. “I love it.”

  “You sure?” He eyed her critically. “You look a little tired. You know if you want I could always hook you up with a nice office job. My firm’s always hiring.”

  Juliette smiled. “And give up all this,” she gestured around the messy workshop, “to work in an office? No way. And I’m sure I wouldn’t get to wear these gorgeous outfits everyday either, would I?” She tugged at the overalls, and Doug laughed.

  “Um no, we prefer our secretaries to be a little more femininely attired.”

  She made a face. “Ah well, then I guess office work just isn’t for me.”

  Doug laughed and then his expression grew serious. “So, are you still seeing Daniels?”

  “I am.”

  He looked a bit surprised by that. “Really? Well, that’s great. Noah’s a great guy.”

  “I agree.”

  “And you’re a great a girl, Juliette.”

  Juliette smiled but didn’t reply, biting her bottom lip.

  “Look, I know it’s none of my business…”

  “Then don’t make it your business,” she interrupted him, taking the form back. “Look I appreciate—I appreciate everyone’s concern—but really there is no need. I’m a big girl. I’ve been looking after myself for a long time now.”

  Doug smiled. “Well. Just saying that if you ever need a friend, just give me a shout.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.” She looked over at the Lexus. “Now, tell me, how is she driving?”

  “You want to take her for a spin?”

  Juliette’s eyes went wide. The idea of taking Doug’s Lexus out for a drive had her teetering with excitement. “What? Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely. Just don’t tell Daniels,” he laughed.

  Juliette hesitated. At the mention of Noah her excitement for a joyride in the fancy sports car sobered. Noah and Doug had history, one that she wasn’t privy to but one that she sensed was filled with animosity despite them finding some common ground and a “loose” friendship. She remembered the look on Noah’s face when he’d seen her eating ice cream with Doug. He’d never come across as jealous, but when it came to Doug, she wasn’t sure how he’d react.

  “I was kidding, Juliette,” Doug said, sensing her change in mood. “I’m sure Noah won’t mind. It is part of your job after all.”

  “I guess,” she paused. “Maybe we should just wait for Toby to return.”

  “If you like,” he said with a casual shrug. “Just thought it would be fun.”

  Juliette bit her lip, unsure what to do. Part of her wanted to just stay put, wait for Toby to return, and part of her wanted to jump in the car and make the wheels spin. Surely Noah wouldn’t mind, would he? Doug was a customer and a friend. Whatever was going on was between them and had nothing to do with her.

  “Wait,” she said as Doug turned to go, “just let me write a note for Toby.”

  A few moments later and she was in the driver’s seat of Doug’s car, and he was in the passenger seat as they pulled away from the workshop. The Lexus drove like a dream, and Juliette felt a little thrill run through her just feeling the power of the engine beneath her fingers. She maneuvered through the streets, loving the way it took corners, how it seemed to purr. Her foster brothers would’ve killed to drive a car like this one—they were used to older models, classic cars like Mustangs, Fords, and Buicks that they stripped back and rebuilt. A luxury car had never figured in their world—or Juliette’s for that matter.

  She was enjoying herself so much she completely forgot about Doug beside her until he turned the radio down. She’d been singing along to “Titanium” on the radio.

  “No of
fence, Juliette,” he said laughing at her, “you are drop dead gorgeous and all, but you seriously can’t sing for shit.”

  She laughed. “Yeah, I know. Sorry.”

  “It was kind of enjoyable though,” he added, “watching you lose yourself like that. Until my ears started to hurt that is.”

  Juliette laughed. Being with Doug was so easy and relaxed. He was so friendly and amiable and so light and breezy. His eyes were bright blue, and there was not even the slightest hint of darkness in there, which was probably because he’d led a charmed life, Juliette mused. He made everything fun and didn’t take himself, or life, too seriously.

  “So, what do you think?” he asked when they were back at the workshop.

  Juliette climbed out and admired the sleek red car. “Fucking awesome.”

  Doug threw back his head and laughed loudly and audibly. “I don’t know what it is about you, Juliette, but hearing you cuss is somehow wickedly delightful. Noah must spend his days grinning like a bloody fool.”

  She shrugged and headed back to the workshop. Toby was back and looked up with surprise when she walked in with Doug. “Houghton,” he said, somewhat stiffly, shooting Juliette a look she didn’t quite understand.

  “Toby, what’s up, mate?” Doug asked, completely missing Toby's obviously sour mood.

  “You need your car serviced? Leave the keys and I’ll drop you home.”

  “That’s okay,” Juliette assured him. “I’ll drive Doug home.”

  “No. You need to finish Mrs. Thomas’s Volvo,” he insisted. “I’ll drive him.”

  Juliette nodded and went back to pull on her overalls, wondering at Toby’s mood. He wasn’t normally bossy, and he didn’t normally have a scowl on his face either. But it wasn’t her place to ask, she decided. If Toby wanted to share, he would.

  Instead she turned to Doug, smiling brightly. “Thanks for the ride.”

  “No worries,” he replied warmly, and then leaned in, making a face as he whispered. “Anytime.”

  ****