A Soldier's Gift

by Lynne St. James

  “Congratulations. I hear the surgery went well.”

  “Yes. I can see. Not great yet but I can see.”

  “I’m so happy for you. Considering how you came in I’m thrilled to see how well you’re doing.”

  “I bet. I’m glad I couldn’t see myself. I wonder how I’ll react when I do.”

  “You look great. Your hair is grown back and no one’ll know you’ve got a plate in your head if you don’t tell them.”

  “Well that’s something, huh?” This time he laughed. “Hey, Sue. Do you know who the woman was in the solarium today?”

  “Yes I do, but why do you want to know?”

  “I don’t know, there’s something about her and she was so sad.”

  “She just lost her husband. I think it’s understandable.”

  “Are you going to tell me her name?”

  “The HIPPA rules say no.”

  “Aww c’mon.” He worried she’d say no, and he hoped he didn’t piss her off. Then he felt her move closer.

  Whispering into his ear, she said, “Fraser. But you didn’t hear it from me.” Backing away, and in her normal voice she reminded him to eat his dinner and she’d be back for the tray in a bit.

  Fraser…it was a start at least. He still didn’t know her first name or the name of her husband. He figured the corneas had to have come from him, he’d bet his sight on it. Now he just had to find a way to track her down and thank her.

  Extra cheese, extra pepperoni, and black olives were all the ingredients to create Dani’s favorite pizza. She’d decided to borrow part of Julie’s idea and stopped to bring dinner for Dani. Something good before the bad. Gagging at the smell, her stomach turned over and sounded like something out of the Alien movie. Then she remembered she’d never eaten, coffee may cover all the food groups, but it probably shouldn’t be her only food group.

  She’d called Dani’s nurse to let her know she would be bringing dinner and to cancel the dinner order with the kitchen. While she was on the phone she asked how Dani’s day went. She’d cooperated in PT for a change, and that’s a good thing. Beth wanted her girl home, and sleeping in her own bed for a change would be a luxury she couldn’t remember.

  For the first month after the accident she’d been with Dani round the clock, afraid to leave her side except for quick trips home to shower, take care of Bo, and then stop by the military hospital to check on Doug. But after she stabilized she’d started going in to the bookstore a few hours at a time. Lately she’d been trying to work most of the day. It wasn’t fair to Julie to be stuck running the shop alone, even if she never complained.

  With a deep breath and hoping her stomach cooperated, she stepped into her daughter’s hospital room. “Hi, bug, I brought a surprise.”

  “Hey, Mom. Pizza? Awesome. I wondered why they didn’t bring dinner.”

  Beth put the pizza down on the sliding table Dani used for eating and as a desk.

  “Sal says hi.”

  “Yay, Sal’s—did you get my favorite?”

  “Of course. What else?” Beth laughed. Thankfully some things never changed. They had the same conversation every time she brought pizza home. “How was your day?”

  “Okay.”

  “Just okay?”

  “PT sucked.”

  “What did I tell you about your mouth?”

  “Sorry,” Dani said, her stubborn streak in full bloom.

  “Let’s eat then we’ll talk.” Stupid. Beth really stupid. As soon as the words were out of her mouth she knew Dani would pick up on something. Her blue/green eyes narrowed as she surveyed her mother.

  “Talk about what?”

  “After we eat. You don’t want it to get cold do you?” Dani shook her head and grabbed a slice and a napkin. Taking a small bite Beth prayed she wouldn’t puke. She dreaded telling Dani about Doug. She asked about her father every day, and every day Beth told her the same thing. He’s okay, in the hospital like her. But it was a lie, okay a white lie, but she’d needed Dani focused on getting well, not on her father. Maybe it’d been a mistake but it’s too late to change it now.

  “It’s good. Thanks, Mommy.”

  Beth’s eyes welled up, and she blinked to make the tears disappear before Dani saw them. She hadn’t called her mommy in forever. It reminded her Dani was still a little girl. One who’d been through hell.

  “I’m glad. Julie said she brought books by this morning?”

  “Mmm hmmm,” Dani mumbled while chewing. “She brought a bunch.”

  Taking little bites and chewing slowly, Beth grinned as her daughter gobbled two slices like she hadn’t eaten in a week. “Take human bites, no one is stealing your pizza.”

  Dani giggled and grabbed a third slice. She must be feeling better—finally. And now I’m going to ruin it. Damn you, Doug.

  “Hannah came this afternoon and brought school work.”

  “That’s great. How is she?”

  “I dunno. We didn’t really talk.”

  “Why not?”

  “Didn’t feel like it. I told you I don’t want to go back to school. You can home school me.”

  “No, I can’t. I have to work so I can afford your pizza habit.”

  “C’mon, Mom.” As she rolled her eyes. “I don’t want them talking about me, or staring. I’m ugly. They’ll make fun of me.”

  “You’re not ugly, you’re beautiful. Your face is almost totally healed, and your clothing will cover the other scars. It’ll be good for you to go to school. You need to get back to normal.”

  “But I don’t want to. Please don’t make me.” She pleaded with Beth, her eyes filling with tears. Dani was a decent student before, and never gave her grief about going to school. The doctor was probably right, and she should call the therapist.

  “I’ll think about it and we’ll talk after you get home and the doctor gives you the all clear.”

  “That means no. Whenever you say you’ll think about it, it’s always no.”

  “C’mon, Dani.”

  Tossing her half-eaten slice in the box, Dani leaned back on her pillows and crossed her arms. This was when she reminded her the most of Doug. A stubborn streak a mile wide. When Dani first brought it up she’d worried there might have been trouble at school. She’d called and spoken to her teachers and they all said the same thing, Dani was a good student and got along with everyone.

  With Dani already grumpy, Beth would have preferred to put this off, but she’d have to face it eventually. The moment had arrived. She couldn’t eat any more and Dani’s tantrum meant she wouldn’t either. Moving the box to the window ledge, she sat on the edge of the bed.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Taking Dani’s hand, she turned it over and traced her life line. Long and curvy, a good thing. She’d gazed at Doug’s years ago and now she couldn’t remember if it had been long or not. Shaking her head to clear away the memories, she took a deep breath.

  “Baby girl, your father hasn’t been doing as well as I’ve let you think.”

  “What?” Her eyes got big. Did she guess what she was about to say?

  “He died today. This afternoon. He had a bad head injury and…”

  “You’ve been lying to me? How could you? My daddy. I never even got to say goodbye.” Pulling her hand from Beth’s, she turned away. The tears rolled down her cheeks in big drops.

  “You were so weak, bug. So sick yourself.”

  “But he’s my daddy and I didn’t get to say goodbye.”

  “Even if you knew you couldn’t have.”

  “You could have gotten the doctors to let me see him.”

  “No that’s not what I mean. He never woke up after the accident.”

  “I hate you. How can I trust anything you say now? I hate you. I don’t ever want to see you.” Anger turned her face red, and she pulled the blanket over her head so Beth couldn’t see her.

  Her heart breaking with each angry word, Beth didn’t know what to do. Helpless and unable to comfort her daughter
when she needed her most, she’d managed to push her away instead. Donna, Dani’s nurse, touched her shoulder.

  “Maybe you should go, Mrs. Fraser. I think we need to give Dani a chance to calm down.”

  “I’m sorry, bug. I’m so sorry.” Dani didn’t answer and stayed hidden under the blanket as she cried for her father. How could she leave her? Alone. Heartbroken. It was the anti-mother response.

  Beth pulled the covers back and tried one more time to wrap her arms around Dani, but she pulled away. Afraid to aggravate her injuries, she gave up. Wiping the tears from her own cheeks, she grabbed her purse and left the room.

  Chapter Five

  For the first time in months Beth beat Julie to the store. Feeling like shit and looking even worse, she’d rather have stayed in bed. The bottle of wine she drank when she got home from the hospital probably didn’t help much. The only one who was happy last night was Bo. He almost knocked her down when she got home, and when he saw she wasn’t leaving he jumped on the bed and snuggled against her. At least someone still loved her. She didn’t know what to do about Dani.

  The first thing she’d done after waking up was to call the hospital. The nurse—Justine today—said Dani had a restless night and they’d called the doctor and given her some extra pain meds to help her sleep. Her poor baby. With all her heart she wished she could have shielded her from all of it but there was no way. Life sucked sometimes and she was getting the mega shitload lesson early.

  Hearing the jingle of the doorbell, Beth assumed it was Julie. When she came out of the back, instead of her partner it was a tall, thin, brown-haired woman.

  “Hi.”

  “Good morning. Can I help you with something? We’re not really open yet, but you’re welcome to look around.”

  “Oh I’m sorry. The door was unlocked so I thought you were open already. I can come back later.”

  “It’s no problem, really. Are you looking for something in particular?”

  “Yes, my brother is ahh, was in the army. He was wounded in Afghanistan and he’s getting out of the hospital soon. My family is having a harder time adjusting to his injuries than he is. Do you have any books on things like that?”

  “I’m not sure. Are you looking for books on coping and dealing with change?”

  “Yeah I guess. Hell, I don’t know. He lost one leg and most of one arm. He’s handling it great. My parents are losing it and I don’t want them to bring him down.”

  “Gotcha. We have some self-help books over here.”

  “Thanks. I’ll look around a bit if you’re sure it’s okay.”

  “Yep totally.”

  After she grabbed her steaming mug of coffee, she thought about the soldier from the hospital. There’s no reason this woman’s brother should know him but yet she wondered. There were probably hundreds of wounded vets in the hospital. How would she even start that conversation? ‘Excuse me, but I saw a wounded man in the hospital yesterday do you know who he is?’ Ugh…like she didn’t have enough problems already. Her first priority needed to be Dani. After her reaction last night she decided to call the therapist. Hopefully she’d be able to help her little girl.

  Would Dani talk to her today or would it be a repeat of last night? The last thing she wanted was to upset her. She still had a lot of healing to do. The doctor warned her from the beginning the process would be slow and there could be setbacks. Being young was the one thing to help her the most.

  “I found a couple I think might be good. Thank you for letting me shop.”

  Beth startled at the sound of the woman’s voice and almost spilled her hot coffee. “Oh, okay great. Let’s see what you found?”

  “You know I’ve lived here for a long time and I never knew this store was here. How long have you been open?”

  “About five years now. My best friend and I own it. We both love books and it seemed the perfect business.”

  When the woman smiled her entire face lit up. She was really beautiful in an exotic sort of way and younger than Beth originally thought.

  “That’s great. I’m a realtor, a family business too. My grandfather started it.”

  “You’re part of Willow Haven Realty? Someone from your office helped us find this place.”

  “Small world, huh?”

  “Sure is. You know when you’re done with these you can bring them back and get credit toward another purchase. We also buy used books.”

  “Cool. I’ll have to remember that. I’m Anna Taggart by the way.”

  “Nice to meet you, Anna, I’m Beth Fraser. Your total for today is thirteen dollars and twenty-six cents.”

  Anna took her wallet out of her purse, and that’s when Beth realized not only was she well-dressed but she was carrying a Louis Vuitton purse or an excellent knock off. Probably real since her family owned the realty office.

  As she handed the cash to Beth, she smiled and looked like she wanted to say something else. “Is there something else you need?”

  “No, well maybe. I hope you don’t think it’s rude, but when I came in you looked really upset. I was wondering if you’re okay. At first I thought maybe someone broke in so I didn’t want to leave you alone.”

  “Oh.” Beth didn’t know what to say. Observant and kind, there weren’t many people left like that in the world anymore. “Yes, I’m fine. No breakins here. My ex-husband and daughter were in an accident a few months ago and he died yesterday. It’s been a rough time for my daughter.”

  “I’m so sorry, and I’m sure it’s been hard for you as well.”

  “It’s really okay. Actually I can’t even believe I blurted that out. I’m not sure what’s wrong with me today. I’m sorry.”

  “Maybe it’s meant to be, you never know. Why did I find your store today after driving by here a million times and never noticing it? I learned a long time ago sometimes things just happen.”

  “That’s true.” Packing Anna’s books into a bag, she handed them across the counter. “I hope these help with your brother.”

  “Oh me too. My mother has no clue how to deal with anyone who is ‘not perfect’, thankfully my dad is better. Well I need to get to the office. Thank you, and you’ll definitely be seeing me again. Have a wonderful day, Beth.”

  “Thanks, you too.”

  As the door shut behind her the store seemed too quiet. Weird. Was it a coincidence she found the store? And why had she blabbed all about Doug and Dani. It had to be the wine, she must be hungover. Right?

  The door chime rang again and this time it was Julie when Beth looked up. “Good morning.”

  “Wow, you’re early. Oh hell, you look even worse than yesterday. Didn’t go well last night?”

  “Ahh, yeah you could say that. She wasn’t in a good mood to start. More of the home schooling stuff. But telling her about Doug was a freakin’ disaster.”

  “Let me put my stuff in the back and you can tell me the whole thing. Do you need more coffee?”

  “Nope, I’m good.” She hoped Dani would be better when she went to see her later. She hadn’t even been able to tell her about the organ donor stuff. It might help knowing part of her father would live on in others. At least Beth hoped it would.

  “Okay, vent away. Tell me everything, starting with why you’re here so early?”

  “I went home last night, slept in my own bed, or tried anyway.”

  “Why? Was it that bad with Dani?”

  “You could say that, Doug would have called it a clusterfuck. It started out bad and got worse. But at least she knows.”

  “Why didn’t you call me? I would have come over, at least you wouldn’t have been alone.”

  “I had Bo. He kept me company. He was probably the only one happy I was home.”

  “I bet.”

  “What am I going to do? I feel so broken.”

  Julie hugged her. Tears blurred her vision and she blinked them away. No crying in the store, rule number one. Okay maybe not number one but it was right up there at the top of the list.
Maybe she should have told Dani from the beginning. It was damn hard being a parent and trying to make the right decisions for another human.

  “Stop it. You’re second guessing yourself. You’re an excellent mother and you did what you thought best. The doctors told you she wasn’t strong enough to handle it, so stop beating yourself up. C’mon on, girlfriend, you’re one of the strongest women I know. I couldn’t have handled half the shit you’ve been through in your life.”

  “You’re exaggerating again. It’s that romantic streak. I swear you should wear glass slippers!”

  Julie batted her eyes. “What? You didn’t know I’ve been reading your mind for years. It’s why I’m totally qualified to remind you that you’re an amazing, strong, beautiful, smart woman and an equally great mother.”

  “Seriously, I had no idea you were a mind reader. But now I do, I’ll make sure I’m careful about what I’m thinking.”

  “You should. When you start thinking about sex my cheeks turn pink. TMI, woman.”

  Giggling, they finished their coffee and for a few minutes things seemed normal. Beth doubted it would it last.

  “We had a customer already. So maybe today will be busy.”

  “Oh damn I hope not. I want to finish this book.” Julie winked.

  “Yeah right. Anyway, her name was Anna Taggart, she has a brother in the military hospital. He lost one of his legs and part of an arm, she said it happened in Afghanistan.”

  “Really? What was she looking for? Romance books for him?” She laughed as she priced some of the books they’d received yesterday.

  “No. He’s getting out of the hospital next week I think. Anyway, her parents are having trouble dealing with his injuries. They are the Taggarts who own Willow Haven Realty.”

  “Didn’t we buy this building through them?”

  “Yep, we sure did.”

  “Small world.”

  “That’s what Anna said. It’s not like Willow Haven is that big.”

  “No but it’s not tiny either. I think at the last census there were about sixty thousand people. This town’s been growing.”

  “How do you know that stuff? Or maybe the better question is, why do you know it? Are you practicing for Jeopardy?”