A Soldier's Gift

by Lynne St. James

  Hearing footsteps he listened, wondering if Sue was coming back for him already. But then he heard Dr. Andrews’ muffled voice speaking to the woman. He wasn’t trying to listen but he still heard the words “sorry” and “flag”. Sitting there while she mourned was awkward and after Dr. Andrews left he wondered if he should go back to his room and leave her alone with her grief. Should he say something? But what? Would she even appreciate the intrusion? He should probably just mind his own business. But when he heard her crying he could almost feel her misery and he couldn’t ignore it. What the hell, worst that’ll happen is she’ll tell me go to screw myself, right?

  “Is there anything I can do?” He wasn’t sure how close she was, but he did know they were alone in the room.

  “I’m fine thank you,” she said, her voice full of tears. The air shifted as she turned and she sucked in a breath. She must have seen him. He wondered what he looked like these days. Was his face damaged, or just his head. Did the plate show? He knew they’d had to shave his head when they’d removed the broken part of his skull. It itched like hell now it was growing back. He imagined he looked rough. “I’m sorry…”

  “Don’t be. I’m intruding, I thought maybe you could use someone to talk to. I didn’t mean to but I overheard you saying goodbye.”

  “Oh.”

  At first he thought she wouldn’t say anything else, or maybe just leave. But she surprised him.

  “It was my husband. I didn’t realize how I’d feel about the whole thing, and the saying goodbye. I still have to tell my daughter. She’s been through so much.”

  “I’m sorry. But you have each other. You’ll get through it.”

  “Yes, but I wish she didn’t have to. She’s still so young.”

  Frustrated, he wished he knew what to say to help her, but he had no experience with children. Something told him she was a strong woman and they’d be okay. “Was your husband injured in Afghanistan?”

  “It was a car accident a few months ago. My daughter was hurt too, burned actually. She’s in a different hospital.”

  “That must be hard. Having to go back and forth.” She didn’t answer but her indrawn breath and hesitation made him wonder. Did he say something wrong?

  “Yes. It’s been hard. But now at least others will benefit from his passing.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “He was an organ donor. Some of him will live on in others now. At least I hope so.”

  It was his turn to hesitate. Organ donor? Could this be the man donating his corneas? A coincidence? He’d probably never know, but he couldn’t shake the thought. “That’s wonderful. He must have been a good man.”

  “Yes, he was in his own way I guess. I’m sorry, but I need to get going. I hope you have a quick recovery.”

  “Thank you.”

  And she was gone. The scent of her perfume trailing after her. He wished she’d come back, the sun seemed a little less bright now. It made no sense. He’d spoken to her for all of five minutes and she was a grieving widow, so why would she want to sit and talk to him. He cursed himself for being stupid. She didn’t need him to tell her he was a good man. Asshole.

  Chapter Three

  On her way out she’d signed the necessary papers to release Doug’s body after all the organs were harvested. It was one more thing she didn’t think about ahead of time. Since he was a veteran he had a spot in the veteran’s cemetery, and someone would call her to set up the arrangements for the funeral. A funeral.

  Getting into the car, she saw it was already two o’clock. Julie had been alone at the bookstore almost all day again. Pulling through the Starbucks drive thru, she ordered two mocha lattes and headed to the bookstore.

  “Surprise,” Beth said as she pulled open the door while balancing the two coffees.

  “You should have called, I’d have met you at the car.” Julie grabbed the coffee and noticed Beth’s tear reddened eyes. “Awww, sweetie, it’s going to be okay. You did the right thing.”

  “Maybe, hopefully. I never expected to feel so tied up in knots. I thought all my feelings for him were dead.”

  “He’s Dani’s father and you loved him so much when you first got married, it doesn’t surprise me.”

  “I guess he didn’t manage to kill everything then, huh?”

  Julie nodded and handed Beth one of the coffees. “Rest well, Doug. I hope you’re in a happier place now.”

  “Funny, I said almost the same thing.”

  “Great minds think alike,” Julie said, sticking out her tongue. Beth grinned. She’d been right to come back to the shop. She’d wanted to go home and cry herself a river but being with Julie was better. “Did you tell Dani yet?”

  “No. I need time to deal with it first. I have no idea what I’ll tell her, but I don’t want to wait too long in case someone sees it in the paper and says something. She’d never forgive me.”

  “Very true. Do you want me to come with you tonight? We can bring dinner and you can tell her after we eat. Then you won’t have to tell her alone.”

  “As much as I’d like to, I think I need to tell her myself. You know?” Beth’s eyes filled with tears turning her friend into a blurry blob. Julie put her arm around her shoulders.

  “It’ll be okay we’ll get through this. You’re not alone you know.”

  “I know.” Julie’s words brought the wounded soldier’s words back to her. “After it was over I needed a few minutes to pull myself together. So I went to the solarium and a wounded soldier spoke to me.”

  “Really? Was he cute?”

  “Damn, you’re terrible.”

  “It made you laugh though didn’t it?”

  “Yeah it did,” Beth said with a grin. “I’m not sure what he looked like. His eyes were bandaged and so was his head.”

  “Poor guy. Was he young?”

  “Around our age if I had to guess, but really without seeing most of his face it would be hard to know for sure. But I was surprised when I turned and saw his head bandaged. Here was a complete stranger, injured who knows how badly, but willing to offer me support. It took me totally by surprise.” She didn’t tell Julie about the feeling she got, she wouldn’t know how to describe it anyway. But there was something about him.

  Julie nodded and finished her coffee. “See, there are nice guys out there. Now you need to find one. You have to start dating again.”

  “Are you serious? Now? I have a kid in the hospital, a husband to bury, and a business to run. When exactly do you want me to date?”

  “Ex-husband and he’s been “ex” for almost five years. Dani is definitely old enough to deal with it. You are entitled to a life you know.”

  “What about you? Ms. pot calling the kettle black.”

  “We’re not talking about me.”

  “I think we need to. I’d rather talk about you than me. What about the guy you met at the grocery store?” Beth didn’t want Julie getting started. Every time she brought up dating it was followed by a suggestion of guys she should meet. She’d tried it once a couple of years ago and it was a huge disaster. Besides, she really did have enough on her plate without trying to start a relationship.

  “A dud. He even wanted to split the bill for dinner.”

  “I think that’s normal. Equality for women and all.”

  “Screw that.”

  Choking on her coffee, it took Beth a minute to answer. “Alrighty then. But it’s true.”

  “It may be but it sucks and there’s got to be someone out there who’s romantic and knows what a real date is.”

  All her tension forgotten for the moment, Beth hugged her. “Probably, but you might have to get a mail order husband to find one, and then he won’t have any money.”

  Julie laughed and threw a stuffed animal at her. She caught it and gave it a hug. Being twelve again would be so much easier. Hugging a teddy bear fixed almost everything.

  Back in his hospital room, Mac couldn’t get the woman from the solarium out of his mind. S
omething about her got into his brain and wouldn’t let go. Playing his game, he guess she’d be short, curvy, and with brown hair. From the time he woke up and learned he couldn’t see, at least for now, he’d played this game. He wondered if he’d ever find out how close he got to how every one really looked.

  His stomach growled. This liquid diet stuff sucked, but it would be worth it to get the new corneas. Just thinking about being able to see sent his heart racing. He’d expected to have brain damage and blindness after hearing the triage doctor in Afghanistan. Now he might actually be able to see again.

  A knock at the door of his room brought him back to the present. “Lieutenant, we have some great news. You’re going into surgery within the hour.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes,” Dr. Andrews replied. Mac could hear the smile in his voice. It’s amazing what you can hear when you can’t see. Would he lose all of it when/if he got his sight back?

  “Can I ask you a question?”

  “Sure.”

  “Are they from the man down the hall? I heard a woman saying goodbye and she told me in the solarium her husband was an organ donor.”

  “We talked about this already. I can’t confirm or deny that. Organ donors’ identities are kept secret.”

  “I figured it didn’t hurt to ask.”

  “No I suppose not, but the answer is still the same. Do you have any questions about the surgery?”

  “You said my eyes won’t look any different right?”

  “Correct, the cornea doesn’t change eye color or shape, the ophthalmologist will remove yours and replace them with the donor cornea and sew it onto your eyes.”

  “How soon will we know if it worked?”

  “Almost immediately. You’ll have some discomfort and redness and we’ll keep your eyes covered with a patch and a metal shield for at least twenty-four hours. Dr. Pinsky will decide how long. As each day passes your vision should improve.”

  “What about rejection?”

  “There’s not a huge chance of that, but Dr. Pinsky will go over everything with you before surgery. We really believe this will take care of your blindness.”

  “I hope you’re right, doc.”

  After Dr. Andrews left Mac couldn’t contain his excitement. He might actually be able to see later. He wanted to celebrate even if there was still a chance it wouldn’t work. No celebrating yet, bro. He couldn’t remember getting this excited about anything. Being able to see again would change everything. He might even be able to go back on active duty. He needed to ask the doc.

  The sound of women’s heels click-clacked down the hallway. He rarely heard the sound of high heels, the nurses all squeaked with their rubber soled shoes. Heels made a very distinct sound. It surprised him even more when they stopped at his doorway.

  “Lieutenant MacDonald?” a soft female voice asked.

  “Yes, ma’am. That’d be me.”

  The heels walked into his room. “I’m Dr. Debbie Pinsky, and I’ll be doing your cornea surgery.”

  He was glad his eyes were covered, he shouldn’t have been surprised, but he hadn’t expected a woman doctor. It was the first one he’d ‘seen’ since he’d been stateside. “Hello.” He held his hand out and she grasped it in a firm shake. Her voice might be soft but her handshake told him she didn’t mess around.

  “I know Dr. Andrews told you the basics of what will happen, but let me explain a little more, then you can ask whatever questions you have, okay?”

  “Sounds good to me.”

  “The surgery will take about four hours—two hours per eye—depending on how it goes. You’ll be given local anesthesia so you’ll be awake but you shouldn’t feel anything. When was the last time you ate?”

  “Breakfast this morning.”

  “Okay great, that should be fine. Once the surgery is done, you may feel some discomfort and I’ll prescribe something for the pain or Motrin might be enough. From what I see in your chart you’ve been through quite a bit already.”

  “Yes, ma’am. But I’m glad to be here and breathing.”

  “Well let’s hope we’ll get your sight back too. You should see something almost right away, but your eyes will be blurry during the healing process. You’ll have drops to put in and we won’t take out the stitches for about three months.”

  “Stitches have to come out? I didn’t think about that.”

  “Don’t worry, soldier, you’ll be able to handle it I’m sure.”

  “Hell yeah, ugh pardon me.”

  Dr. Pinsky laughed, a light almost airy sound. He liked her, he couldn’t explain why but he didn’t think twice about putting the possibility of seeing in her hands. “No problem, Lieutenant. Any questions?”

  “Dr. Andrews said I’d have to wear patches?”

  “Oh yes. Depending on what I find when I get in there, you’ll wear them for twenty-four to forty-eight hours. You’re going to have to be careful not to bang your eyes, you’ll shower with them covered too for the next few months.”

  “Gotcha. No problem there.”

  “There’s a slight chance of rejection and we’ll go over that after the surgery. I’ve done a lot of these surgeries and it is really rare to have a rejection. As long as there are no other issues, you should be seeing in a few hours, even if it is blurry. You may or may not need eyeglasses or contacts, but we won’t decide until the stitches come out.”

  “This is really happening.”

  “Yes it is and in about two hours. I’ll see you in surgery.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  As he listened to the click-clack of her heels on the tile floor, he contemplated trying to find Tag’s room and tell him the news. He was getting ready to try when he heard the sound of crutches. Crutches?

  “I hear you’re getting your sight back, bro. Congrats.”

  “Hell yeah. At least I sure hope so. Word travels fast in here, huh?”

  “Well you know how it is.”

  The sound of a chair being dragged closer to the bed, and the hrumph of Tag sitting made him smile. “So you’re mobile? Looks like we’re both getting liberated.”

  “Yeah no shit. It won’t be long, then I won’t need the crutches either. My new prostheses came in and I just have to get used to them.”

  “Fuck yeah. Glad to hear it. When are they springing you?”

  “Probably by the end of the week. My sister’s been looking for an apartment for us. I told her first floor would be better, that okay with you?”

  “Yeah, the surgeon said I’d have blurry vision while they heal so no driving I’m guessing.”

  “In a hurry much? Take a chill pill will ya?”

  Mac laughed. “I can’t help it. I should be able to see after the surgery. I thought I was going to be in the dark for the rest of my life.” He stopped as he realized he might be back to normal after the surgery but Tag would have to live with the loss of his limbs. “Fuck. I’m sorry, dude.”

  “Don’t even go there. Fuck that shit, I told you already. I’m alive, that’s what matters.”

  Tag sounded so adjusted to his new body, but was he really? Time would tell.

  Chapter Four

  The surgery went without a hitch. He now had slightly used corneas to replace his useless ones.

  “We’re going to shut the lights off since it’s been awhile since you’ve seen anything,” Dr. Pinsky said. “Open your eyes. Can you see anything?”

  Hesitating for a moment, he prayed the surgery worked. Then he blinked a few times and slowly opened his eyes. Blurry, but he could see. He didn’t know what he was looking at but he could see light and shadows, and the outline of people. “Shit yeah! I can see.”

  The Operating Room nurse giggled and Dr. Pinsky laughed. “Tell me what you’re seeing.”

  “Some light, shadows, and blurry people.”

  “Good. Great actually. Your corneas were badly damaged but the rest of your eyes weren’t at all. You’re very lucky, Lieutenant.”

  �
��You can say that again. Thank you so much.”

  “My pleasure. Wait until you get my bill.”

  They laughed, but he was damn happy he wouldn’t be paying the bill, it’d be on Uncle Sam.

  “One last thing, there are four things to watch for as far as rejection. Think of it as ‘RSVP’: redness, sensitivity to light, vision changes, and pain. If you experience any of those you need to call my office immediately. You’ll get all my contact information when you’re discharged.”

  “Got it. Does this mean I get to be discharged soon?”

  “That’s not up to me, you’re Dr. Andrews’ patient and it’ll be up to him. But while you’re here I’ll check on you daily. We’ll schedule a follow up appointment for two weeks after your discharge.”

  As they were talking he didn’t know if he was imagining it but images were a little clearer and he could almost make out the features of Dr. Pinsky’s face. He could hardly contain his excitement, and once again he thanked the higher powers for sparing his life and giving him back his sight. He’d do whatever he could to repay the favor for the rest of his life.

  “Okay. No problem.”

  “Great. I’m going to put the patches on now, and this metal plate to protect your eyes. I know you’ll want to but don’t take them off, okay?”

  She didn’t have to be a mind reader to figure out it would have been the first thing he’d done when he got to his room. He laughed. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll behave.”

  “You’d better,” she tried to sound stern but her soft voice didn’t pull it off. “See you tomorrow, Lieutenant.”

  “See ya.” As the orderly wheeled him back to his room, he couldn’t wait to tell Tag the surgery worked. He hoped Dr. Andrews would agree to discharge him soon since they’d be living together.

  Shortly after he’d returned to his room, Sue came in with a dinner tray. He’d miss her. She’d made his stay bearable and even fun at times. He wondered if he could recommend her for a commendation or something. Nurses gave so much to their patients.

  “I thought you might be hungry.”

  “Thanks.” He stopped himself from blurting out the news. She’d have seen his chart anyway.