A Soldier's Gift

by Lynne St. James

  “He doesn’t have any freakin’ clue, does he?”

  “Nope not really. It’s going to be a waiting game. I’ll make sure you and Dani are on the visitor’s list. If you pray to anyone, now would be a good time to send up some prayers. I figure he can use all the help he can get.”

  Dani whimpered and tears dripped down her cheeks. This might be hardest on her, especially after having lost her father. Beth didn’t think there was anything she could say to make it better, so she took her daughter’s hand and led her to the hospital chapel.

  “Bug, I think the best thing we can do for Mac is think positive and pray for him.” Hugging Dani close, she pushed her into a pew and sat next to her.

  “I don’t know what to say, Mom.”

  “Say what’s in your heart. It’s the best prayer of all.” Dani’s teary smile was the only answer Beth got and she hoped it would help her daughter, even if it didn’t help Mac. Closing her eyes she sent her own prayers out the universe, for his recovery, and Dani’s continued improvement. She worried one was connected to the other.

  After a while Tag and Julie came in and sat next to her. “Where’s Anna?”

  “She had to take care of something at the realty office, my father called her,” Tag responded sounding pissed off. “He’s always up her ass.”

  “Shh, we’re in church,” Julie said.

  “It’s not really a church, and it’s true anyway,” Tag replied, anger clear in his voice. Beth wondered how much of the anger was at his father and how much was about Mac. Not that she would blame him for either.

  Tag leaned close to Beth’s ear. “I took care of the paperwork. You and Dani will be able to see him anytime you want. You’re also added to the info list. Dr. Andrews helped with that once he found out you’re dating.”

  “How did he find that out?”

  “I told him,” Julie interjected. “He needed to know and you needed to know what’s going on with the man you love.”

  “What? You said that? I haven’t…”

  “Yes, I know. But if you think you’re fooling anyone, either one of you for that matter, you’re wrong. Right, Tag?”

  He nodded and smirked. “Yeah kinda. Although Mac is a little harder to read, I knew it as soon as he started helping with Dani’s homeschooling. Besides, I’ve known him a long time and I saw all the signs. He’s head over heels for you two.”

  The air deserted Beth’s lungs like she’d been stuck with an ice pick. Was she really so transparent? Maybe. Dani’s small hand slid over her clenched fist and squeezed. “You too?”

  “Uh huh. But it’s okay. I’m happy about it.”

  “But he wants to go back on active duty. It means he’ll leave us.”

  “No it doesn’t,” Tag interrupted. “They won’t send him out again. Not with the head injury he sustained. He’ll get a desk job or training, or something like that. He’ll stay stateside.”

  “Do you mean to tell me you’ve all known?”

  “Well I can’t speak for everyone else, but I have for a while,” Julie answered. Dani nodded her head. Beth looked at Tag and he was grinning.

  “Damn it. Fine, so I’m transparent, but what about Mac. I don’t believe you all can read him that well.”

  “You’re right. Tag told me,” Julie said with a smile as she elbowed him in the side. He groaned and shrugged his shoulders.

  “She squeezed it out of me.”

  Dani giggled. Tag was every bit of six foot three and well built, muscular even missing part of his arm and his leg, he still beat Julie by about seventy pounds easy.

  “Right. Okay you can tell yourself that if you want. We might let you get away with it.”

  “What do we do now, Mom?”

  Beth was about to answer when Tag cut her off. “How about we all get some dinner. It’s been a long day. Mac isn’t going to wake up for hours and probably not till tomorrow according to Dr. Andrews.”

  “Sound okay to you, bug?”

  “Yeah, but can we go see him before we leave.”

  “Of course.” Out of the corner of her eye she saw Julie shake her head no. Mac would be hooked up to all kinds of machines and who knows what else. But Beth made a promise to not keep anything from Dani after Doug’s death and she intended to keep it—good or bad.

  Stopping by the nurse’s station for the ICU, they were told Mac was still in recovery. Beth promised Dani they’d come back the next morning. She tried to be positive at dinner, they all did, but no one pulled it off. They dropped Julie off at the bookstore to pick up her car then headed home.

  Lying in the dark, alone, Beth stared at her phone willing it to beep with a text message from Mac. It was impossible, but deep down she hoped the day had been a bad dream. Tossing and turning, she tried to sleep but it wasn’t until around three a.m. when Dani and Bo crawled into bed with her that she finally slept.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Dani and Bo were still asleep in her bed when Beth got out of the shower and went downstairs to make a pot of coffee. The knock on the door was loud in the morning quiet. Who the hell is here at seven thirty? Peeking through the side window of the door, she saw Julie balancing a box of doughnuts and two cups of coffee.

  Disarming the alarm, Beth threw open the door. “Good morning. What brings you over so early?”

  “I figured you and Dani could use some sugar, and coffee too.”

  “Bless you. I was just making a pot, but this is so much better.” Julie followed Beth into the kitchen and put the box on the kitchen table.

  “I also thought we could open the store late today. It’s summer, no one comes in really early anyway. This way I can stay with Dani while you go to the hospital and see how things are before you bring her over.”

  “You’re probably right. At least I can get an idea how he is so I can warn her before she sees him. I’m not going to keep her from going though.”

  “I didn’t think you would. But she’s still only twelve.”

  “I know. She crawled into bed with me last night. She hasn’t done that for longer than I can remember.”

  Julie nodded as she scoped out the doughnuts and selected one. She looked tired, had she slept either? “What did you do last night?”

  “I went home at first, then I went over to Tag’s. I thought he might need some moral support.”

  “How did that go?” Beth asked as she took a bite of a jelly doughnut and had to stop herself from moaning it was so good.

  “Okay at first. We sat and talked, but he’s definitely going through stuff. I don’t know. I might have to just walk away. Every time I think he’s interested he pulls away. I think it’s more than him being worried how I’ll react to his prosthetics.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too. I really think he’s the one. But it doesn’t look like he’s ready to be my one.” Beth reached for her friend and they hugged, holding on like their lives depended on it. Love sucked just like the song said. Even when it was good it still managed to wrap her up in knots. Why hadn’t she told Mac she was in love with him? What was she so afraid of? She’d learned the hard way life was short, so why waste their time together?

  Dani came in with Bo trailing behind her. Since she’d gotten home from the hospital he’d been her constant companion. They might as well have been attached at the hip. Letting Bo out back to take care of things, she poured Dani a glass of chocolate milk and got her a plate for a doughnut.

  “Doughnuts! Woohoo. Thank you, Julie. I know Mom didn’t get them.” Julie laughed. Of course Beth didn’t get them, she tried to keep sugar out of the house as much as possible. Not because of Dani but because she was trying to keep her weight from ballooning. Comfortable in her size fourteen, she’d prefer to be a twelve again, so she tried to keep to the no sugary snacks rule.

  “I figured we all needed a pick-me-up this morning.”

  The doughnut was good but the coffee was pure heaven. There’s something about coffee made in a store or in this case a Dunk
in’ Donuts, that made it taste better, and it went a long way to clearing out the cobwebs in her mind.

  “Julie is going to stay with you while I run over to the hospital to check on Mac. While I’m gone you can shower and get ready. Make sure your tablet is charged so you have something to do at the store later too.”

  “Why can’t I go now?”

  “Because you just got up for one and Julie came over here with this treat. I won’t be long. I promised you we’d go this morning and we will. Okay?”

  Pouting, she nodded, her happy mood dimmed. Julie and Beth exchanged glances and Beth shrugged. No surprise, Dani’s attitude changed faster than a man with a remote control changed the channels.

  “Let Bo in please. I’ll be back soon. Thank you, Julie.” Beth dropped a kiss on Dani’s forehead as she grabbed her coffee.

  “No problem.”

  When she stopped to pick up her purse and keys where she’d left them last evening, she heard Dani whining to Julie. Poor Julie. She would be sorry she volunteered for this job. There weren’t going to be enough doughnuts to make it okay.

  The ICU brought back a lot of recent memories, memories she’d rather not relive. It was all too similar. The same doctors, nurses, smells, beeps and alarms. It would be too easy to slip back in time as she stood by Doug’s side while they tried to save him. Why was she back here? Hadn’t everyone around her suffered enough?

  “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, I’m here to see Lieutenant MacDonald.”

  “Are you family?”

  “I’m on the list. Beth Fraser.” As she leaned on the counter at the nurse’s station, she looked around. She didn’t recognize any of Doug’s nurses, but maybe they had a different shift. Dr. Andrews would be there somewhere. She doubted he had a family life since he seemed to live in the hospital. She couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t there.

  “Yep, here you are. Do you know where to go?”

  “No I don’t. He was still in recovery when I left last night.”

  “Okay, follow me.” Trailing after the pink covered nurse, she wondered when they’d stopped wearing white. Not that it mattered but she was trying to think of anything other than seeing Mac lying in the hospital bed. When the nurse stopped at the glass enclosed cubicle, she breathed a sigh of relief it wasn’t the same one Doug was in after the accident.

  Eyes closed, lying still—too still—in the hospital bed, Mac was hooked to an IV, heart monitor, and something else, probably tracking his brain activity. She didn’t know and wasn’t sure she wanted to. Sun shone through the window and covered him in a bright light. It was eerie, like the movies showing the afterlife.

  Shaking her head, she tried to eject the thought from her brain. He was going to be fine, he had to be. He’d fought too hard to lose the fight now. Her hopes that he’d be awake were lost, but she’d known better anyway. Dr. Andrews said he’d be unconscious until sometime today, and even that wasn’t a guarantee.

  A chair sat near his bedside and she pulled it closer and sat down. She reached for his hand but hesitated at first. He was so still it was creepy, and she had to overcome her fear she was going to lose him. He was strong, he’d make it. She needed to believe it with every fiber of her being. But of course there was the chance of brain damage. How would she deal with that? Again not something she wanted to think about.

  The hand closest to her twitched as if asking her to take it. At least she thought it did. It was enough of a push to get her past her hesitation, and she slid her hand under his. His warmth reassured her and she pushed back the tears threatening to fall. She would not cry. She would not cry. Nope not going to cry. Remembering Dr. Andrews said that it was thought coma patients could hear them when they spoke, she figured why not try.

  “Julie brought doughnuts over this morning. You should have seen Dani when she saw them. I swear she almost flew into the room and had one stuffed in her mouth before she finished saying good morning.”

  Waiting a moment, she hoped for a response but nothing.

  “I’m going to bring her to visit. She can’t wait to see you. She’s a little worried it’s her fault you’re in here, that she made your head hurt. I told her it was metal from your wound but you know how she gets. Maybe you can explain it to her later.”

  Still nothing. Giving up was not an option, not today, tomorrow or ever. That decision she was firm on. She loved him, and if what Tag said was true, he loved her too. She’d stand by his side no matter what. They’d get through it, as long as he woke up.

  “Stop being morbid.”

  “Who’s being morbid?”

  Beth startled at the voice, first thinking it came from Mac but realized it was Dr. Andrews. “Me I guess. I’m worried.”

  “It’s not being morbid, it’s being realistic. He had a serious brain injury, and that we missed some of the shrapnel didn’t do him any favors. I’m surprised he was doing so well. But that’s a good sign, he’s a strong man.”

  “Yes he is.”

  “I’m just not sure what his prognosis will be. His brain was very irritated. It’s possible he’ll have complications.”

  “Like what?”

  “His blindness could come back, memory loss, or even brain damage.”

  “I didn’t realize…”

  “No, I didn’t mention it yesterday. You were all dealing with enough. But from the look of the monitor his brain function looks good. You’re right to think positive. We’ll know as soon as he wakes up.”

  “I guess so. I hate this waiting game.”

  “He’s healing. Bodies heal best when they’re asleep or unconscious. It enables them to direct all their energies to the affected areas.”

  “I didn’t realize that.”

  “Our bodies are amazing things.” She watched as he performed a basic examination, lifting his eyelids and shining a light, checked his chart against the machines and listened to his heart. He was done. With a half-smile and a squeeze of her shoulder he was gone. Alone again with the beeps of the machines, she took Mac’s hand again and told him how she and Julie met when they were in kindergarten and decided they’d be friends for life. After about an hour she leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

  “Wake up my sleeping prince.” Holding her breath while gazing at his tranquil face, she hoped maybe, just maybe, her kiss would bring him back. But so far nothing. It was okay, she knew he’d be okay. She wasn’t prepared to accept anything less.

  “I’ll be back in a little while with Dani. I love you.” One last glance and she left his room. The pull to stay was strong and she wished she hadn’t promised to bring Dani then she could have stayed longer. But she’d promised and she still had a store to run and a daughter to take care of. Life wouldn’t wait no matter what she might wish.

  She brought Dani to the hospital and after her initial shock, she got used to the machines and handled it much better than Beth expected. She took out her book and read while sitting near Mac. At one point she laughed and looked over at him like he was just watching TV and explained what made her laugh.

  Since he was in ICU they couldn’t stay long. They kept him in ICU for a week, until he was stable, and they visited him twice a day before and after work. Julie told her Tag visited during the day and so did Anna. Mac had to realize how much they loved him, and she was convinced he was fighting to get back to them.

  After the first week they’d moved Mac to a regular room. Their day fell into a regular routine. Beth and Dani would stop by every morning before they opened the bookstore and sit with Mac and have breakfast. Mostly coffee for Beth and juice and toast for Dani. Then she’d read to him from whatever book she brought with her.

  “It helped me when he told me stories, so maybe it will help Mac.”

  “I think it’s a great idea.” Beth was willing to try anything by then. It had been two weeks since the surgery and he still hadn’t woken up. Even Dr. Andrews was concerned, though he tried to hide it.

  They’d c
ome back again in the evening after dinner and Dani would read to him some more. When it was time to go home Dani would give Mac a kiss on the cheek and tell him goodnight. The first time she did it, it brought tears to Beth’s eyes, but she was careful to keep them hidden from her. The Fraser women had it bad for Lieutenant MacDonald, she hoped somewhere—wherever he was—he realized it.

  Chapter Seventeen

  By the third week they were all on edge. Tag and Julie were barely speaking, and Julie was convinced it was his guilt about Mac. He wouldn’t talk about the day they were injured but something about it was eating at Tag. Her knight in shining armor was tarnished but she refused to give up. Beth marveled at her ability to put up with his mood swings and angry outbursts, having lived too long like that with Doug. But Tag was different, he never got violent and if Julie even looked hurt he apologized.

  Dani wanted to spend every waking moment with Mac. If Tag offered to take her over to the hospital, she’d go with her tablet and read to him. Beth worried how she’d recover if Mac didn’t wake up. The longer he stayed ‘asleep’ the harder it was to believe everything would be okay.

  It was almost closing time and Dani and Julie were in the back packing up a shipment, when the doorbell jingled and Mrs. Middleton came in, pulling her rolling cart.

  “Let me help you.”

  “Oh thank you, sweetie. I didn’t realize how heavy these books were. Mr. Middleton put them on the cart for me.”

  Beth smiled, Brenda Middleton was her favorite customer. She always brought sunshine with her, and usually had them in stitches with tales from her book and knitting group and their ‘wink-wink’ stories. They’d come up with the code name for sex after reading all the books she brought back from their store. It was funny, although in the beginning Beth and Julie were worried they were corrupting the senior citizens of Willow Haven. But the more stories Mrs. Middleton told the less they worried, it was more like they were giving them all a second chance at a love life. No one could think that was bad.

  Hearing the bell, Julie and Dani came out of the back room and smiled as soon as they saw Mrs. Middleton.