Forever Seventeen

by Lizzie Bowen

CHAPTER NINE: PICKING UP THE PIECES

  I packed up my stuff and got ready to hit the road the next morning. I wasn't leaving on very good terms with my mother and I hated that. I thought maybe we could make it right before I left, but by the look that was on her face I didn't seeing that happening. She hugged me good-bye, but it was a light and effortless hug. It diffidently wasn't a “I won't see you for nine more months” hug good-bye. I opened my mouth to say something, but shut it again quickly. There was just no use trying to mend what had already been ripped apart. I trudged to my car feeling as if I'd just had the life ripped out of me. I was numb as I make the long, lonely drive to the arena. The boys greeted me and started to help me unload my things. The gesture was nice, but I was unable to thank them. My mind was elsewhere.

  “Do you like it?” Connie asked.

  “It's amazing. I can't believe I get a whole bus to myself.” I said, smiling.

  “We just want to make you as comfortable as possible.” She stated.

  “Thank-you. I really do appreciate that.” I stated.

  “We leave in an hour or two. So you can explore while we're getting everything together.”

  “Thank-you.” I said with a smile. I pulled my laptop out and checked for wi-fi. I decided to get on hulu. When I typed in 'H' the most searched result popped up. It was Hunter Thompson. I couldn't resist. When I clicked it thousands of websites filled the page. I clicked one that lead me to a link of an interview with Hunter.

  “So, Hunter there's been a lot of pictures of you and actress Bailey Andrews. Any comments?” The interviewer asked.

  “Uh, we're good friends.” He said with a cheeky little grin. I shook my head.

  “NOT TRUE! YOU DATE EVERY GIRL YOU SEE!” I screamed at the computer screen.

  “Is that why you've been avoiding me?” A voice from behind me asked. I shrieked out loud and slammed the laptop shut. I jumped to my feet and spun around to see who had intruded into my bus, catching me in my moment of weakness.

  “Oh, Hunter... wh-what are you doing in here?” I asked, my cheeks burning.

  “I thought I'd check up on you.” He said.

  “I'm great. I've never been better really. Thanks for checking in.” I said trying, to shoo him out the door. He spun around quickly and took my by the shoulders.

  “You think I'm a player, don't you?” He inquired, looking me deep in the eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out.

  “That's not me anymore. I've changed.” He said, solemnly.

  “I don't believe you.” I replied, stubbornly.

  “Then let me prove it.” He said, taking my hand. There was a copy of his latest magazine lying on my coffee table. I ripped from his grip and flipped to the page with him partying with practically every girl in Hollywood.

  “You can't argue with that.” I said, pointing to the pictures.

  “I can try.” He said, taking my hand again and pulling me out of the bus. He opened his car door and looked at me expectantly.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “You'll see.” He said with a smile playing on his lips. We drove on in silence for a few minutes.

  “You shouldn't believe everything you see.” He said, suddenly breaking the silence.

  “There's proof.” I protested.

  “There is absolutely no proof. Those reporters don't know me... nobody does.” He said quietly. I could relate to him in a way. Nobody knew me either, but in his case it might be worse because he can't complain or talk to anyone about it. Everything he said was a headline for some stupid magazine article. He had nowhere to hide. No escape.

  He stopped the car and helped me out.

  “Wow.” I breathed. It was a huge mountainous hill over-looking all of Los Angelos. I could see the Hollywood sign off in the distance as clear as day. I felt like I could touch it. He sat on the hood of his car and motioned for me to join him.

  “This is beautiful.” I mused.

  “I know. I come here often to clear my head.” He said, gazing out at it. I kept my gaze locked on it too. It captivated my entire being, I didn't think I had ever seen anything so beautiful in my life. It was the perfect day for it. It seemed we could touch the turquoise sky. The illusion was created that it was only hovering inches above us. It's wispy, cotton-candy looking clouds hung above our heads and the wind blew softly, tossing Hunter's curls.

  “So how many girls have you taken here?” I teased.

  “You're the first.” He said, setting his eyes on me. I kept my eyes out on the beautiful view in front of me. He must have noticed my stubbornness I was displaying by refusing to look at him because he put gently turned my face toward him. I looked at him softly.

  “You're scared, aren't you?” He asked.

  “Of you? I'm not scared of anything.” I scoffed.

  “Not just of me. You're scared of loving. You don't know what it feels like to love someone or something. I don't think you even know how and it's about time someone teaches you. You try to run from the feelings that well deep inside you and tug at your soul, but you know you can't. No matter how hard you try you just can't run away from me. It doesn't matter where you go, how fast you run, or how far you turn from me... every step you take is just one step closer to my arms.” He said, looking at me with fiery eyes. I was taken aback by his cockiness.

  “You can't make me love you.” I scoffed.

  “I can try.” He stated.

  “And you can't fix the pieces of me that are already broken.” I added, stubbornly.

  “But I can try and pick up the pieces.” He said, tenderly.

  “There are too many pieces to pick up. I'm already shattered.” I said, standing my ground.

  “I like a challenge.” He said with a smirk. I was infuriated! I knew it. All I was to him was a little challenge.

  “Ohhh, I see! That's all you see me as. You see me as a challenge. I'm the one girl that doesn't drool all over you and that drives you crazy. You're used to every girl you see falling all over you! You're so cocky you can't stand it when just one girl isn't end to you. This is all a little game to you and I'm the prize. Well, I got news for you! I'm not gonna let some cocky rich kid, rock star, play-”

  He cut me off with a kiss. I was surprised. I'd never been kissed before. My eyelids fluttered closed as he pulled me closer. I tried to rip away, but his hand rest firmly on the back of my head. I felt him smile into the kiss. I ripped away from him my eyes as wide as saucers. He was still cupping my face. I set my eyes on the ground, embarrassed to look him in the face. He tilted my chin up, forcing me to look into his blue-green eyes that a girl could practically swim in.

  “You're not a challenge. You're not like the other girls I've been with.” He said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. I was shaking. Being so close to him scared me to death. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. He could feel me shaking and I knew it.

  “I hope I'm not like the other girls.” I stated. My hands stayed clamped together in my lap. He stroked my hand softly before taking it.

  “You're not. You're different.” He whispered. I nodded.

  “I've known that for a long time.” I said. He drew lips to my ear.

  “Please don't be scared. I won't hurt you.” He whispered. I swallowed hard.

  “I'll keep you safe.” He said.

  “I can protect myself.” I said, still a bit stubborn.

  “Now you won't have to anymore.”

  The next morning, I woke up with a strange fluttery feeling down inside of me. It was a queer sensation that I wasn't quite used to feeling before. I was also really scared when I woke up because I wasn't used to waking up in an unfamiliar place. It was strange waking up on the tour bus, but I guess I was just going to have to get used to that. In an hour or so we would be arriving at the arena for our very first gig. I was so excited. This was the moment that
I had been waiting for my entire life. I sat there dreaming about it until the bus came to a sudden stop.

  “We're here!” The bus driver grunted. I shot up and darted out the door of the bus. I could heard the crowd's deafening shrieks from miles away. They were absolutely electic and I could already feel the energy. A smile played on my lips as I thought of the millions of people and cameras that would be there tonight. This was big... huge actually. I saw Hunter getting off his bus as well and I was actually working up the courage to approach him when I was drug off to hair and makeup. Rows and rows of cosmetics were lined up in front of me. The table was cluttered with hair products, straighteners, curling irons, and hair pins of all sorts. This was more beauty supplies than I had ever seen in my entire life. Before I knew it, makeup brushes were running over every inch of my face.

  “What kind of makeup do you usually use, doll?” The stylist asked.

  “Um, I uh-” I stuttered. Nothing could possibly help this face I thought.

  “You know what, it's fine we're just gonna use what we got.” She said, slapping foundation onto my face. I started giggling like a little kid when the sloppy, wet substance hit my face. It was diffidently something that I wasn't used to. The stylist gave me a funny look, but continued to rub it on me. I continued to squirm and laugh like a little kid. She then applied a powdery blush to my cheeks and started putting on mascara. Now the mascara was a little too much for me to handle and a little too close to my eye. I think my reaction to that was less than desirable for her. I used to put it on myself, but I guess somewhere along the lines I gave up trying. It was an occasional thing for me.

  When, she was done mauling my face I went and looked in the mirror. I gasped at the reflection that I captured in the glass. I looked... pretty. The even more overwhelming thing was that I felt pretty too. I'd never really experienced that feeling before. I softly put my hands on the glass making sure my eyes didn't deceive me and the reflection I caught was reality.

  I looked really good with my perfect curls, red lips, and skin that looked flawless. I almost seemed to glow. I couldn't believe my eyes.

  I felt two strong arms wrap around me from behind. I flinched and almost screamed out loud. It was Hunter.

  “You scared me.” I stated, my breathing rate returning to normal. He chuckled. His laugh was deep and throaty and I loved hearing it. He looked in the mirror at the both of us.

  “You look stunning, babe.” He whispered. I giggled. His breathe tickled my skin.

  “You know what?” I whispered.

  “What?” He said, looking me in the eye.

  “For the first time in my life I kind of feel like it.” I said, grinning from ear to ear. He grinned right along with me.

  “You're always beautiful, love.” He said, twirling me to get a good look at me. He leaned in to kiss me. I stood frozen for a minute not wanting to close the gap between the two of us. I was still scared. Just, kind of scared of getting hurt.

  “YOU'RE ON, BOYS!” Connie cried, breaking our moment. He snapped back into reality and scurried out of the room. The boys did exactly as Connie said. She was like a mother to them while they were on tour. Sometimes I wish I had someone who cared for me in that way.

  “Sam, you get out here too!” Connie cried. I ran my fingers through my curls and glanced at myself one last time in the mirror before darting out the door. My guitar was handed to me as I followed closely behind the boys onto the stage. The noise was absolutely mind-blowing. Their shrieks were shrill and high-pitched practically breaking the sound barrier. When the boys came out they roared and erupted into even louder cheering. Most of them were screaming, others sobbing, and some just stood there with their jaws open not coming to the conclusion that this was real life and that they were actually here.

  The boys ran onto the stage and the stadium absolutely erupted in hysterical shrieks, the walls seemed to be rattling, the floor felt like it was shaking, and I honestly thought that the ceiling might cave in. My ears were buzzing already. The sound was earth shattering.

  “How's everybody doing tonight?” Logan asked. The crowd roared in reply.

  “Good, then? Alright, I'm so glad you guys came out.” Corey said. Again, another round of ear-splitting shrieks.

  “As you know this our first show of the tour and we are so glad to be having this first show in the beautiful city of Los Angelos.” Hunter said. Cue the rattling shrieks again.

  “Well, thank-you for having us. We're throwing it back to the song you first heard from us. Here... is “Light Me with Your Love” please enjoy.” Hunter said. I twanged the first notes of the song loudly before jumping into the chorus. The crowd was bobbing to the song, dancing, and singing along. The energy in the arena was completely electric and I was proud to be a part of it. The shrieks didn't die down even when the boys were singing, in fact they only screamed louder. I don't think they even really cared that much about hearing the song, they were just in awe of being in the boy's presence. I glanced at all the signs every where. It looked like a lot of people had put a whole lot of effort into them. I was impressed. These fans were amazing.

  A round of rumissing shrieks pulled my attention back. The song had just ended. I had played the entire song without paying a lick of attention... I was getting a lot better than I thought.

  Cameras flashed everywhere. I heard a few girls scream for me to look at their video cameras and I looked shyly at a few even though most of the faces in the crowds were just blurs. The whole stadium was sort of like a black hole swirling in front of me. I couldn't hear a word they were saying and their faces were blurred from the harsh lighting. The show went on smoothly and we ended the first half. The boys would come back for an encore, then a finishing song to close the show. They stood on a panel that sunk down and lowered them beneath the stage. As Hunter was darting to the spot he had to be, he kissed my cheek while running past. I flinched a little. I wondered if any of the girls had seen it. Probably not, I mean they were pretty far from the stage, right? But I knew they all had their cameras zoomed in as close as they could to watch Hunter's every move and capture it on video. I had seen some fan-made concert videos before and they were always extremely close up. People watched Hunter like a vulture too, seeing as he was the ladies man of the four. I just shook my head as someone from their management came out and tried to entertain them.

  They let me go back beneath the stage as well for a break. They wanted me to be able to touch up my hair and makeup as well as the boys. I had to look nice too. Everyone associated with the boys did.

  When I got backstage, the boys were in their dressing rooms hurrying to get their change of clothes on. I sat on the bench near their room. Our drummer sat beside me.

  “That was crazy.” I said, as he sat down. I think I was getting a bit more social seeing as I was the one to speak first. If you haven't noticed I'm a bit socially awkward, but I think I have a pass seeing as I'm alone all the time.

  “It's always like that.” He said, with a deep laugh. His voice was deep and raspy. He had dark hair that jetted downwards in a mass swooping by his face and deep dark-colored eyes. His lips were a soft and light color and his dark tan skin highlighted his light pink lips. He was masculine with broad shoulders and a distinctly set collar bone. Something about his collar bone was weird though and I didn't know quite why it looked so weird to me. His looks were just so featured and exotic. He noticed me studying him.

  “You okay there, love?” He said with a chuckle.

  “Yes, of course. Sorry.” I said, blushing. He shot me a cheeky look.

  “I'm Kade. I don't believe we've properly met before.” He said, sticking out his hand.

  “I'm Sam.” I said, taking his hand and giving it a firm shake.

  “You like it here so far?” He asked, as shrieks erupted in the background.

  “Yes, I love it. It's crazy here.” I said.

  “Yeah, well better get used to it. It's like this most of the time. S
ometimes even worse.” He stated.

  “How could it get any worse?” I questioned.

  “Oh, you'd be surprised.” He said, with a laugh. The boys came tumbling out of the dressing room. They were stick hopping from foot to foot to get their socks and shoes on. Hunter fumbled with his microphone while walking, banging it against his hand to turn it on.

  “Well, that's our cue.” Kade said, slowly getting up. He looked back at me as he walked toward the stage. Something about him was weird and intriguing and I didn't know why. I grabbed my guitar and ran toward the stage.

  The rest of the night went as planned. It was a loud, crazy, and ear-shattering experience. But I enjoyed every second of it. The boys were pooped by the end of the show. I walked into the instrument storage room to set down my guitar.

  There was a mirror taking up the wall. As I walked by, I examined myself. I just couldn't believe it was me. I couldn't believe that I could ever be beautiful. Beautiful is never a word I would use to describe myself in a million years and diffidently not a word I would use as a feeling I've experienced. A pair of hands reached out and grabbed me. I screamed.

  “Shhh, it's just me.” Hunter said. His voice was worn out and raspy. He was lying lazily on the couch and he pulled me on with him. He snuggled into me.

  “You scared me.” I giggled. He chuckled. The chuckle came deep within his throat. His eyes were already half closed. He kissed my cheek, too lazy to take his lips off even when he spoke.

  “I seem to do that often, don't I?” He muttered, lips still on my cheek.

  “ Yes, you do. Do you think they saw?” I asked.

  “Saw what?” He asked, laying his cheek on mine.

  “You kissed me when you walked by.” I said. His face was smooshed on mine so I could barely talk.

  “Maybe...who cares?” He asked. I could feel his jaw moved when he talked.

  “I do.” I said. He lifted his head to look at me, it looked like it took a lot of effort to do that. He craned his neck a little, his face inches from mine.

  “Why?” He asked, sleepily.

  “Because they'll hate me.” I said. His tired expression changed into a more solemn one.

  “You're right, you know. They hate everyone I've ever dated. Our fans are very...dedicated. Sam, if you're with me you have to realize that the fans are going to be savagely jealous. Stories are going to come out and people will spread rumors. Are you sure that you want to be with me?” He asked. I hesitated a moment and looked into his sleepy, hollow eyes. I drew in a deep breathe before slowly nodding. He grinned from ear to ear then pulled me closer. I stiffened in his arms, refusing to move. I didn't touch him. I didn't really want to fall in love with him, but it seemed he was determined to make that happen. But I had been let down so many times and I just don't think that I could afford to get my heart broken. Not this time. Not again.